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'Human-cow' created

From The Sunday Times' Jonathan Leake

September 15, 2003

 

A CONTROVERSIAL cloning scientist is to announce he has created "human-cow" embryos that lived for about a fortnight and theoretically could have been implanted into a woman's womb.

 

Panayiotis Zavos, who runs a fertility laboratory in the US, made the hybrid embryos by inserting human DNA into the eggs of a cow.

 

Professor Zavos said the human-cow embryos were "theoretically viable" but emphasised that he had no plans to allow such a hybrid to be born.

 

"We are not trying to create monsters," he said, claiming his aim was to perfect his cloning techniques without the ethical problems involved in the use of human egg cells.

 

Professor Zavos said the embryos grew to several hundred cells and appeared to have normal DNA. He will announce the breakthrough at a meeting in London today.

 

He added that the hybrids had grown beyond the stage, known as differentiation, at which cells showed the first signs of developing into tissues and organs.

 

This is a crucial test because it implies that the human chromosomes, which contain the DNA, have been left intact. Other people who claim to have created human clones have failed to produce evidence. Professor Zavos's work is taken seriously by some of the scientific community.

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* DEEP THOUGHTS * by Jack Handy

 

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If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

 

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

 

At first I thought, if I were Superman, a perfect secret identity would be "Clark Kent, Dentist," because you could save money on tooth X-rays. But then I thought, if a patient said, "How's my back tooth?" and you just looked at it with your X-ray vision and said, "Oh it's okay," then the patient would probably say, "Aren't you going to take an X-ray, stupid?" and you'd say, "Aw fuck you, get outta here," and then he probably wouldn't even pay his bill.

 

One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. "Oh, no," I said. "Disneyland burned down." He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late.

 

A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."

 

Why do people in ship mutinies always ask for "better treatment"? I'd ask for a pinball machine, because with all that rocking back and forth you'd probably be able to get a lot of free games.

 

I'd like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.

 

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

 

I bet when the neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

 

Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaught on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham!, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, "Think again, bat man."

 

Too bad you can't buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out.

 

The people in the village were real poor, so none of the children had any toys. But this one little boy had gotten an old enema bag and filled it with rocks, and he would go around and whap the other children across the face with it. Man, I think my heart almost broke. Later the boy came up and offered to give me the toy. This was too much! I reached out my hand, but then he ran away. I chased him down and took the enema bag. He cried a little, but that's the way of these people.

 

I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

 

I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

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Originally posted by casekonly

dlush: what did you think of rob zombie as a director?

 

well...good question. i wasnt surprised at all. for obvious reasons, he paid a lot of attention to colors to set the mood of the movie. i liked him as a director just cause i like the type of film that he did.

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oh, man...suggestions...sure:

 

radiohead:meeting people is easy

 

scarface (new collectors edition)

 

romper stomper (pretty fucked up movie about skinheads)

 

belly (rent it again)

 

american psycho (funny in a dark way..rent it again)

 

anything disney 'cause disney is dope

 

oh yeah, there's a new movie my homie at pixar told me about...it's still in production, but i can't wait for it...entitled "the impossibles"

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Originally posted by Devilush

totally a dark movie thats for sure. creepy too, but i'm down with that.

 

you should totally watch it. let me know what you think.

 

this guy is the best...

 

http://ffmedia.ign.com/filmforce/image/houseof1000corpses-haig.jpg'>

 

goddamn! motherfucker got blood all over my best clown suit!

 

This movie was so odd and obnoxious for me. I'm not into all the blood, guts, and gore....

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Originally posted by Devilush

i love it because i am sick and twisted like that. did you see it casekonly??

 

hey i saw the movie narc last night. OMG. i loved that movie too!!! jason patrick and ray liotta....excellence.

 

http://www.hollywoodawards.com/images/2002films/narcnew2.jpg'>

 

 

just saw it dlush. that was fucking awesome! rob zombie is a master.

i'm in love with the sick little blonde girlie that wrecks shit.

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