Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Sign in to follow this  
Coffie Crave

condom's

Recommended Posts

man condoms drive me nuts, i can only use the thin brand by trojin whatever it is...i mean some of these condoms companys make are pure crap.................................................o la

 

 

 

 

fuck it ill raw dog that shit:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by Coffie Crave

fuck it ill raw dog that shit

 

Yeah, sounds good until you get a scare...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by MagatsuTaito

i am thanking the lord that my girlfriend just got her period. scared as fuck oner.

 

 

haha that happens all the time...when you really start to shit a brick they get that period the next day.

 

ahhh the pull out

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

...i'm not from the u.k so i dont know some of these terms

 

101 uses for condoms

101 To write lists about

100 Posh W*nk

99 Use on anyone else in the sexy celebrities list

98 Use on Becky Jago

97 Knee warmer (stretched a bit)

96 To give you something to moan to your mate about

95 Cat Hat (XL variety)

94 Rat Hat

93 Mouse Hat

92 Budgie Hat

91 cocktail decoration

90 stirrer protector for making shandies

89 Conker holder

88 Emergency puncture repair tool

87 To pretend it's chewing gum (someone actually gets it mixed up with chewing gum in some crap film I saw and then blows it up into a big bubble) - Personally, I don't think that rubber and spermicide tastes that nice.

86 To lend to a mate who is so desparate for sex with an american he sheepishly asks if he can have yours.

85 Street messeruper (yes that is a word I invented). Just place a used one on the street to make it look a mess.

84 Eye ball holder - not sure why you want one of these though

83 Fill it with sand/dirt or whatever, add some ants and hey presto: its a portable ant farm!

82 In the absence of a 'hammer' at the olympics, insert a shotput inside a condom and swing that around your head

81 Game 3: this is much like the shotput event, (except flicking it like a rubber band would be better than throwing) You simply have to see how far you can get it away from you

80 A blindfold

79 Stretch over your glasses for that soft focus look all the time

78 Stretch over a camera lens for that soft focus look

77 A tilt measure: if we attatched one end to someone's (say Simon's) head, the more he tilts, the greater the angle between the condom and his head will be.

76 There must be a way of fixing some together to make a rubber bra

75 Game 2: You may have seen this on 'whose line is it anyway' where the contestents are given an oject (in this case a condom or 2) and they have to come up with as many different uses for it as possible

74 Game 1: Each player takes a condom and competes to see who can fit the most different items inside

73 mix 71 & 72 to make the ultimate trampoline (ref: Mr Watkinson)

72 weved together to form a trampoline

71 bunjee rope

70 Inedible sausage meat skin

69 Light saber holder

68 Baby gro for small babies (how ironic!)

67 Weapon (for suffocating people)

66 Pencil Case

65 For giving another name to penis sheath

64 For giving another name to rubber jonny

63 Beachside retreat in America (or is that condo?)

62 Nob measuerer (they come in different sizes for the well endowed)

61 Stocking Tie

60 Make some small holes all over; fill with nuts; tie to a tree and you've got yourself a bird feeder

59 Fill with water (leaving room for a bit of air), tie a knot in the end. Bingo! a cheap and easy stress reliever

58 Sew many together and stretch over a frame to make a trampoline

57 Mini Tea Coaster

56 Catapult

55 Freezer Bag

54 Crap Earmuffs

53 Wallet indentor (Seriously, if you've had one in your wallet for a long time it starts to leave a mark in the leather)

52 Screen protector for mobile phones

51 Party hat for really small people

50 sew many together and stretch over a frame to make an effective umberella

49 Tampon holder

48 Use to embarrass shy people

47 Water pistol (fill with water; seal open end; put pin hole in other end; squeeze)

46 The 'rope' for a tug-of-war game

45 Solar panel (only if there are many, wrapped in silver foil and put together)

44 Suffocation aid

43 Vibrator case

42 Rubber finger puppet

41 Art (as far as I'm aware, most things are art!)

40 Tongue sheath

39 Hot air balloon for ant (just fill with helium and attatch to yoghurt pot!)

38 coat for a snake

37 Drip bag

36 Substitute bag in which to collect blood at donor sessions

35 Artificial stomach

34 Artificial bladder

33 Courdroy grass skirt (ribbed ones

32 Headband

31 Sew many together to create a (very short) 'grass' skirt

30 To keep people out of phone boxes

29 To trap people in phone boxes (apparently its been done... ask Tedward!)

28 Everlasting lollypop (flavoured ones only, naturally)

27 Balaclava for keeping your ears warm

26 Balaclava for robbing banks

25 Mini Egg Carrier

24 Mini-me skull cap

23 Mini frisbee

22 Mini beer mat for mini pints

21 Fashion accessory for hen nights

20 Stretchy bit on Catapult

19 Stretchy bit on bow and arrow

18 elastic band

17 Seed carrier

16 Willy Warmer (surely they do furry ones for the winter??!)

15 Individual finger washing up gloves

14 lollypops (flavoured)

13 verruca sock

12 Swimming cap

11 Shower cap

10 STD trapper

9 Cum trapper

8 Marrigolds for babies

7 Placed over the end of a broom and inserted into an unconscieous heterosexual male's rectum as a sick practical joke

6 Crammed with peanuts they make a good Arnold Schwazennegger finger puppet

5 Or less specifically, as a water bomb on anyone

4 Filling with dubious liquids and throwing from the top of Lindley D on to Mike Kent

3 Placed over the end of blind peoples' cane it will stop dog poo getting on it

2 Balloons

1 Having sexual intercourse

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by MagatsuTaito

i am thanking the lord that my girlfriend just got her period. scared as fuck oner.

hehe happend to me this mouth now shes on the pill tho :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Just to let you know the pull out method doesnt really work. Its got like a 60% failure rate. When you have sex you still have sperm that come to the tip of your dick before you come. Which means pregnancy how fun.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by suburbian bum

Just to let you know the pull out method doesnt really work. Its got like a 60% failure rate. When you have sex you still have sperm that come to the tip of your dick before you come. Which means pregnancy how fun.

 

thats not true, high school lies.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by metallix

thats not true, high school lies.

How do you know this?

 

Why would Dr. Drew lie about this shit. Im not gonna risk it at least.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by MagatsuTaito

you've never had sex. Have you?

 

i dont think many of these fellas have.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by suburbian bum

Just to let you know the pull out method doesnt really work. Its got like a 60% failure rate. When you have sex you still have sperm that come to the tip of your dick before you come. Which means pregnancy how fun.

 

FACT:

this is absolutely true. every guy has a little bit of precum before the big one, which has just as much sperm as the big load. I think the statistic is something like if you use the pull-out method for a whole year you most likely will become pregnant (if you dont use any contraceptives).

 

:shook:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

if you don't like using condoms then get your girl on birth control or depo.

 

oh that's right, you guys are players who like having sex with people you just met and don't care if you get STDs.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest im not witty

way back when i was in high school, my girl was on birth control and i still pulled out. but in 3 years of dating her i only thought she was pregnant once, and if you knew how much fuckin i was doing back then, those are pretty good odds.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by suburbian bum

Just to let you know the pull out method doesnt really work. Its got like a 60% failure rate. When you have sex you still have sperm that come to the tip of your dick before you come. Which means pregnancy how fun.

 

a 60% failure rate? what the fuck does that mean? that would mean 60% of the time the pull-out method is used, a pregnancy happens.

 

that isnt anywhere near true.

 

yeah its true that precum has sperm cells, but obviously you want to keep as few sperm cells from going inside the girl as possible. so while the pull-out method isnt all that good, its better than nothing.

 

its like buying 3 lottery tickets as opposed to buying 500 lottery tickets.

you can still hit the jackpot buying 3, but your chances are better with 500.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by mapo returns

its like buying 3 lottery tickets as opposed to buying 500 lottery tickets.

you can still hit the jackpot buying 3, but your chances are better with 500.

:lol:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Man, My girlfriend works at the school clinic, and its fucking obscene how many bitches here have some sort of nastyness going on, its a real fucked up verage like 3 outta five or something have some sort of std, that might be a tad bit of an overstatement, but not really. Its pretty bad here, lots of sluts. but lots of sluts with diseases.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Register for a 12ozProphet forum account or sign in to comment

You need to be a forum member in order to comment. Forum accounts are separate from shop accounts.

Create an account

Register to become a 12ozProphet forum member.

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×