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attn: internet lingo updated


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All right, I admit it. The other day I was on Instant Messenger when I should have been doing homework or something else productive. What can I say? It's so easy to sit down at the computer with the intent of working, only to become distracted when you see an old friend from home sign on.

 

That's exactly what happened to me earlier this week. I sat down to write a speech (not at the last minute, honest!) and noticed all the pretty buttons on my computer's desktop. Since I really didn't want to start working, I thought I'd mess around with some of them. I fired up the mp3 player and picked out some good study music - the theme to Sesame Street on a six-hour continuous loop.

 

Then I opened Instant Messenger, which sealed my speech's fate. I had to check everyone's away message to see if any were new and/or clever. Then the IMs started rolling in. ...Hundreds of them! Everyone wanted to know how I was, what was up and how I got to be so devilishly handsome. I was just so popular that I...

 

Ok, so I only got two messages. But my other friends were all just busy, I'm sure.

 

Anyway, as our conversations progressed and my speech grew farther and farther from my mind, I noticed something. A person who wasn't IM-savvy wouldn't have understood half of what we were saying to one another. The culprit: Internet shorthand, which in my opinion has gotten way out of control.

 

Every other line of a typical IM�conversation seems to contain "lol." It's just not right! Wouldn't we all be better off if we all just spoke plainly without any goofy abbreviations?

 

Some of my friends from home and I, however, quickly became bored with the traditional "lol" and "brb." We decided to modify existing Internet shorthand and create our own indecipherable Internet language. Hypocritical? You betcha!

 

For example, we got tired of saying "lol" (laugh out loud for any sub-rock dwellers). So we changed it to "olo," which doesn't stand for anything. We all just recognize it as "lol," or laughing out loud. We sometimes would even say "That's olo-able" instead of just saying its funny. I know - we're dorks. But we're HAPPY dorks!

 

And it doesn't end there. We thought using "k" instead of "ok" was a little silly - you're only saving the effort it takes to type one letter. What's the point? My friends and I gave it a point...we made our abbreviation for "ok" funny, by replacing "k" with an arbitrarily selected letter of the alphabet: "r."

 

The result is a conversation like the following: "Let's get dinner, r? "R, that sounds good to me." "R, let's go."

 

Somewhere, some clever person noticed that "l8r," when sounded out, resembles "later." Thus, "l8r" was adopted by lazy instant messenger users as the preferred way of saying goodbye at the end of a highly unproductive session. However, we grew tired of it, and decided to adapt it to our own needs. We started saying "l7r,"which no longer resembles anything when you sound it out, but it's much more unique and creative!

 

However, on many Internet-based computer games, the shorthand can be even worse than anything our twisted minds can come up with. While playing one game, I saw someone type the following (no joke): "WTB SoW for trip to LFay, at PoD, PST plz." If you can make any sense of that one, you're a better man than I am.

 

Well, it looks like I gtg. L7r!

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Kilo, this is now the stupidest internet thing ever...I hate this fucking picture, and I can only bet it's the same fuckface posting throughout ever fucking thread on this board.

 

My message to the idiot doin it:

 

If you don't care, don't POST!! I always wonder how people who have been on 12oz for less than half the time have 30 billion posts or whatever, it's because they post shit like this!

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Originally posted by ClueTwo

Kilo, this is now the stupidest internet thing ever...I hate this fucking picture, and I can only bet it's the same fuckface posting throughout ever fucking thread on this board.

 

My message to the idiot doin it:

 

If you don't care, don't POST!! I always wonder how people who have been on 12oz for less than half the time have 30 billion posts or whatever, it's because they post shit like this!

 

http://b.rox.com/relationships/everpax/images/who-cares.jpg'>

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the retarded thing is...that if you've been on the computer long enough to know half of these, you probably can type fast enough that it doesn't really matter if you have to type out all two or three words anyway.

 

My point is this: JUST TYPE OUT THE DAMN WORDS AND STOP CONFUSING ME, BECAUSE i DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE SAYING. SPEND THE EXTRA 1.3 SECONDS AND TYPE IT ALL OUT. Damn...lazy ass kids.

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Originally posted by Brandon

the retarded thing is...that if you've been on the computer long enough to know half of these, you probably can type fast enough that it doesn't really matter if you have to type out all two or three words anyway.

 

My point is this: JUST TYPE OUT THE DAMN WORDS AND STOP CONFUSING ME, BECAUSE i DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE SAYING. SPEND THE EXTRA 1.3 SECONDS AND TYPE IT ALL OUT. Damn...lazy ass kids.

 

but why stop there? Why use drive-thru's when it takes all of 3 extra minutes and you get better service inside becuase the workers like that more. Why eat fast food when you can make a much healthier better tasting meal at home? Why drive an automatic when you can control your car so much better with a stick? Why talk on a cell phone in a supermarket saying pointless shit when you could wait till home, waste less minutes and be sitting on a couch?

 

See dood, its 2003, fuckers are so lazy now-a-days, so they will, take whatever shortcut they can, even is they have the skills and abilitiies to do what they are shortening. So, fo (fuck off)

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Originally posted by onesecondple

but why stop there? Why use drive-thru's when it takes all of 3 extra minutes and you get better service inside becuase the workers like that more. Why eat fast food when you can make a much healthier better tasting meal at home? Why drive an automatic when you can control your car so much better with a stick? Why talk on a cell phone in a supermarket saying pointless shit when you could wait till home, waste less minutes and be sitting on a couch?

 

See dood, its 2003, fuckers are so lazy now-a-days, so they will, take whatever shortcut they can, even is they have the skills and abilitiies to do what they are shortening. So, fo (fuck off)

 

Yeah yeah...so people are lazy. Doesn't change the fact that it's annoying. although, slightly less annoying than when people write: "Kewl".

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In my opinion, all this "wired" behavior (my wife calls it "rampant Starbuckism") is it's own punishment. The penalty you pay for owning and using a cell phone is that other people can now call you up any goddamned time they please and interrupt whatever it is that you are doing. People start out with a simple credit card and wind up with $40,000 in unsecured credit card debt. They buy a disgusting yuppie-fied "green" car, and then sit in traffic waiting forever for traffic to clear so they can hit the drive-thru at Einstein's before work.

 

I do not like where all this is going one bit. I was a shitload happier when I was poor, barely employed, and living out of a rucksack riding freight trains. Modern life sucks.

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