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--zeSto--

Crashing Film Sets with your host Kilo7-

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Heeeelllloooooooo!

 

So you've always wanted to get into the film biz right?

Well here's a better way to do it without having to actually

work hard or wake up at ungodly hours in the morning.

 

First you look for one of these...

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid79/pbf8a75d6028ba3f1deeab19f338581cb/fb155fef.jpg'>

That's a sure sign that people are making some kind of filmic thingy

in close proximity. There may be guards to keep you away but just

pretend to talk into your cell phone like you're too busy to listen and

you can slide right by them. They're only working schmoes and they

dont want to risk pissing off an important/imposter like you.

 

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid79/p8868c896c8b3159653a36fd6a5cc7da9/fb155fdb.jpg'>

^This is called the 'camp' where all the important people hang out.

It's usually a little distance from the action and filled with fat cats.

This particular guy sitting down is the sound recordist. Use words like

'boom mic' and 'foley' with him. They're usually always good to imposters.

That old guy is probably saying 'lavalier, pro-tools, da88, free food?'

 

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid79/p2a7581629f87cc369ab25e2f1f8fef5e/fb155fe2.jpg'>

^Here's the rest of the camp. All the chairs are accounted for and most

people even have personal assistants in there. This is the high court of

the set and should be avoided. They do not take kindly to strangers.

 

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid79/pa312b2859b7f69ed8aceb41958ee1874/fb155fe9.jpg'>

^ Now this is where the action is!

Get right up close to the talent (actors like to be called talent these days)

and mingle. Unless the actor is in the shot or getting attacked by the hair

/ makeup crew they are probably bored out of their minds. It's always

good to start off with something like 'I think I've seen you in a spot before.'

(commercials are called 'spots' these days). See that pretty girl in the tan

shirt? Well she was just dying for someone to talk to. Kilo7 is always a giver.

 

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid79/p6fdd071a4b820f135c8cd10b63d429b6/fb155fe0.jpg'>

Here's the product. It's a 2005 Volvo and one hell of a sexy car.

Do not touch the car because it's usually covered in a super shiny

wax that makes it look well... shinny. In this biz shine=sex.

Remember that.

 

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid79/pba646523939470f0cc52016a1c4b08ad/fb155fed.jpg'>

Now here's the big payola.

When the cute craft service (food) girl comes around, make sure you act

extra nice to her. No one wants to do craft services, it's like being 'cabin

boy' in Pirate times. So if you treat her nice she'll give you a sandwich

and maybe even a cappuchino if you really work it. However DO NOT go

into the craft truck or the dinning tent as you will get busted by someone.

Just wait untill they tour around. That's why it's better to stand near the talent

because the craft girls are usually afraid of the fat cat producers too.

 

 

 

So I hope you've had fun crashing a film set with me, but remember...

I only do this when I'm not directing

 

http://www.mysterynet.com/images/mn/hitchcock.psycho.jpg'>

 

* and a special thanks to my proof-reader. We'll make you a star.

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ahha. your neighborhood is always poppin. it would be good if you could sneak your head in or something into the "spot".

 

kilo just tell em your family name and you're all good right?

 

whoah here he comes ...

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Guest imported_Tesseract

hahahaha, fuckin awesome!!!

 

Kilo is preparing kids for the Real Life...dolce vita bro!!!

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threads like this are why I keep coming back.

 

good work Kilo. ill have to try that sometime.

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Originally posted by yoink

threads like this are why I keep coming back.

 

well thanks yoinkers. I feel an obligation to keep some quality in this fourm.

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i very frequently utilize the 'on an important call' technique when racking. it makes it much easier to just walk out the door looking inconspiquous when you're 'doing something', or appear to have an agenda. plus, if someone hassles you, you can just look at them like 'dude, cant you see im fucking busy' and bounce.

 

some guy wrote a book a few years ago about how to get into any event for free. he even snuck into the white house, and handed the president a copy of his book. it was a big media thing. i dont remember his name.

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Originally posted by seeking

it was a big media thing. i dont remember his name.

 

I believe his former alias was something like 'mesto'? or maybe 'pesto'?

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KaySEV,

 

:eek:

 

You've GOT to gank one of those FILM cones for me. I'll give you the funds to ship it to me.

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Originally posted by seeking

i very frequently utilize the 'on an important call' technique when racking. it makes it much easier to just walk out the door looking inconspiquous when you're 'doing something', or appear to have an agenda. plus, if someone hassles you, you can just look at them like 'dude, cant you see im fucking busy' and bounce.

:idea:

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ha-ha...just awesome.

 

I've found the important mobile call technique works very well paired with the quick glance and index finger in the air (suggesting...I'm very important, but I see you jumping up and down like an idiot...so I'll tell you to fuck off in a moment).

 

fuck ganking one of those cones...stencil and a black marker...all of a sudden your in bidness.

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official cones!

 

my roomate seriously drives around with a stack of them in the trunk.

If you (-rage-) are serious about getting paying for shipping I'll look into it.

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hold up rage....I think I'll have some of those official like cones by this evening...and mine will look even newer...unless you want them to look older.

 

 

I couldn't help but notice this lovely young lady eyeing that old cruiser. I think perhaps she is in love...no?

 

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid79/pa312b2859b7f69ed8aceb41958ee1874/fb155fe9.jpg'>

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dude... new cones, old cones, any type of cones.

My roomates job entails hundreds of cones of all sorts.

and trust this... you want a new one. The old one's are

usually covered in peepee.

 

yeah brownz... I've directed a few things when I was in film school

but now editing's the thing man. I'm just wau more comfortable with

the variable in this sence. Action and response.

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fire your proofreader

 

dude.

 

capuccino

 

and for the last time: S H I N Y

 

'shinny' is for legs.

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