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-Rage-

++ 2003 Darwin Awards (funny) ++

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I don't think this years awards were posted here. So here they are..

 

:lol:

 

 

 

For those of you not familiar with the Darwin awards, they are awarded annually for the most extreme act of (usually terminal)

stupidity -they are now in for 2003....

 

 

First Place - The 2003 Darwin Award Winner:

 

When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in

Long Beach, California, would be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder: He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.....

 

---------------------------------------------

And now, the honorable mentions:

 

The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to

his insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine out and lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

 

*********

 

A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a

woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

 

*********

 

After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be

transporting from Harare to Beltway had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The deception

wasn't discovered for 3 days.

 

*********

 

An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked

how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

 

*********

 

A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash

drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash

from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15. (If someone points a

gun at you and gives you money, was a crime committed?)

 

*********

 

A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,

"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A FUCK-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large.

 

*********

 

Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

 

*********

 

As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and

the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They

put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse

from."

 

*********

 

The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and

demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man

ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

 

*********

 

Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they left the scene

and drove home. With the chain still attached to the machine. With their bumper still attached to the chain. With their vehicle's license plate still attached to the bumper. They were quickly arrested.

 

*********

 

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER!

 

When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

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Guest im not witty

that one about the bus driver got me good.

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Guest sneak

i cant believe so many people are so stupid!

how many were americans?? haha...

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Guest WebsterUno
Originally posted by -Rage-

*********

 

An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked

how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

 

*********

 

 

this one should go into Yard Safety.

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Originally posted by sneak

how many were americans?? haha...

 

 

 

If read them correctly... 10 out of 12.

 

 

That's pathetic.

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is it just me?

 

look at rages first post where he posts the darwin awards he has a signature, then look at the post above there is no signature.. wtf?

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there sure are a lot of dumb fucks in the world. i wonder how many entries there were to select from. funny shit.

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Re: is it just me?

 

Originally posted by fatbastard

look at rages first post where he posts the darwin awards he has a signature, then look at the post above there is no signature.. wtf?

 

What are you talking about?

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Guest imported_Tesseract

"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A FUCK-UP!"

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Originally posted by -Rage-

An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked

how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

 

*********

 

A thief burst into a Florida bank one day wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun. Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled,

"FREEZE, MOTHER-STICKERS, THIS IS A FUCK-UP!" For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him. The thief ran away and is still at large.

 

*********

:lol: :lol: :lol: fucken hilarious

 

 

stupid americans

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I love the Darwin Awards...hhahaha tesser posted the best one.

The reason most of them are from America is probably because it is generated in america, by americans. Dumb people are everywhere, so you foreigners can stop fronting about it.

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BOGUS!

 

those qren't the Darwin awards.

Those are just the stupid awards.

 

from their site...

 

The Darwin Awards honor those who improve our gene pool... by removing themselves from it. These men and women gave their "all" in an effort to improve the human species. Of necessity, the honor is generally bestowed posthumously.

 

see? You have to die to get it.

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^^^^

That's what I was thinking. These are the nominees thus far for 2003, as named on the official website (www.darwinawards.com )

 

Shooting Blanks

(11 March 2003, Spain) Early one morning, police received a call warning that three robbers had invaded the bar of a Madrid brothel. The police dispatched several units, and confirmed that the call was true. Officers surrounded the building, and used a bullhorn to coax the offenders from the premises.

The robbers, understandably frightened, found themselves in an untenable situation inside a building surrounded by dozens of policemen. Their subsequent actions may have been influenced by the ready availability of alcohol. Instead of surrendering, they decided to go out in a blaze of glory, and tried to escape while shooting at everything in sight.

 

The policemen ducked, covered, and proceeded to shoot back at the running robbers. Two were fatally injured, and the third was wounded in his right leg.

 

Why was the gunfight over so quickly? The three robbers were carrying REAL guns loaded with FAKE ammunition. They were firing blanks, making enough sound and light to fool the police into shooting back, but not enough to actually help them escape.

 

Cock Fight

(12 January 2003, Philippines) Cockfighting is a popular gambling sport in the Philippines. Roosters are aggressive creatures that fight one another in the wild to establish a "pecking order." When their natural arsenals of claws and beaks are supplemented with sharp steel spurs, these feathered animals are transformed into deadly weapons. A trained rooster is an extremely vicious creature.

Usually the fury of an enraged rooster is directed against another rooster in an arena surrounded by avid spectators. But at a recent match in Zamboanga, a cock owner was the target of his own bird. He had just strapped razor-sharp gaffs onto its legs when he lost control of the animal. The bird turned on him, and in "one rapid shuffle," its gaffs sliced through major arteries in his thigh and groin.

 

Despite routinely handling razor-wielding roosters, the man was not wearing protective clothing. He bled to death en route to the hospital.

 

 

Fuck the imitators.....

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