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ModelCitizen

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Originally posted by Kilo7-

here's an outline I did for kicks.

 

'TANR' by: me!

 

*edit: hoping for comments from spike, yoink or dazzle.

**edit: comments beyond 'ya got lazy on the R'

 

Alrite, I'm guessing you're hoping for quality critique... hoping I can provide! ;)

 

Ok, general letter structure is there, letters are clear, bars line up pretty much. Here are the things that don't make sense to me/I'm not feeling:

 

- Firstly, the problem with this outline is that there are sections that I can't tell whether it's meant to be shell, dimentions (3D), guidelines for fill patterns or actual letter outline. Examples of this include many of the lines that cross over the main form of the letters, like at the top of the R, the line going into the top of the A and stuff like that. This may be totally intentional, but I personally prefer stuff to either be totally abstract or not abstract at all.

 

- The jagged bits off the top of the T, bottom of the A and on the side of the N look completely out of place on this piece. Especially the on the side of the N, I'm guessing it's meant to be part of an extension but you have a fragment coming off the end of that bar, that's then got the extention going underneath... if you see what I mean. You probably don't, cuz I don't know the proper terms for a lot of this.

 

- The pieces is quite angular, which isn't a problem, but then there's a really big curve at the top of the second bar of the N. Not liking it.

 

- Once again in that general area, there is a completely random extension behind the back of the first part of the N, that just made me go "wtf is that doing there".

 

- Is this a no-neg or what? The area under the A looks like it should have a gap in there somewhere, but it doesn't. The curl looks like it should conclude and leave a hole, but it doesn't. Same applies to the little bar you put in above the T - surely it should have holes on both sides of it?

 

- Ya got lazy on the R :p

 

Ok, well, that's the basic stuff I noticed, I could write more but I feel like a fucking art teacher or something. If any of that is unclear I'll come back and expand on it. My personal opinion of the piece is that it starts well on the T and the A, but it begins to fall off a lot on the N. I like that T.

 

And this probably is my final post of the year. Happy New Year to everyone. Nstuff.

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oh yeah.... well.... thanks!!!

 

that's just what I needed.

This sketch was done without any real 'plan' in mind

so I found myself reverting back to bits and pieces

from other styles. As far as the first part... I love my

'ghost' outlines. They aren't really all that usefull, but

it helps me show my intentions with shapes. And yes...

that thing on top of the N is totally useless. That's what

happens when you rock in pen and dont erase/plan.

 

thanks again spike!

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http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid97/pcba37e4c45f1f9badcaa9d2ecd9a9c94/fa07efa5.jpg'>

 

http://www.imagestation.com/picture/sraid97/p3e09b64c1d3420c4056a219fc01e1051/fa07efa8.jpg'>

 

just some shit i did yesterday when i was bored... a lot different form the last pieces or whatever I did which is the jax one up the page abit. Ya think I'm improvin or no or what?? I dunno any comments are cool... I personally like these more than anythin I've done since I started and wanna keep progressin whatever style i have goin right now.

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  • 4 weeks later...

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