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Zack Morris

people are stupid

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this was enclosed in an email I got today:

 

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through

stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

 

 

 

1. On Sears hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping."

(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)

 

2. On a bag of Fritos:"You could be winner! No purchase necessary.

Details inside." (Evidently, the shoplifter special.)

 

3. On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

(And that would be how...?)

 

4. On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestions: Defrost."

(But it's *just* a suggestion.)

 

5. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):

"Do not turn upside down." (DOH! too late!)

 

6. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating."

 

(As night follows the day...)

 

7. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn't this save even more time?)

 

8. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate

machinery after taking this medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we

could

just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

 

9. On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(One would hope.)

 

10. On most brands of Christmas lights:"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to what?)

 

11. On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use."

(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)

 

12. On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: Contains nuts."

(NEWS FLASH)

 

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,

eat

nuts."

(Step 3: Fly Delta.)

 

14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not

enable

you to fly."

(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)

 

15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands

 

or

genitals."

(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? Good grief.)

 

16. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid: "Do not use on food."

(Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's okay honey just grab the Palmolive!)

 

17. On a tube of Crest Toothpaste: "If swallowed contact poison control."

 

(Oh please. Have you ever heard about someone dying from swallowing a

little

toothpaste?)

 

18. On a bottle of ALL laundry detergent: "Remove clothing before

distributing in washing machine."

(Hey no more swimming in the washing machine kids.)

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Originally posted by curious george:

that shit's fuckin great. post some more.

 

thats some funny shit but im having a hard time believing some ife those are true. some are just too obvious to need a warning or directions.

 

13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."

14. On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)

 

15. On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? Good grief.)

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on the one with the superman suit, eric claptons 4 year old son died from jumping out of a window with a superman suit.

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LOL LOL LOL Man I've seen a lot of dumb shit like that too. I like the Fritos one though. If I ever see that I'll take it without actually buying it and if I get arrested, I'll just file a lawsuit. CHACHING!

 

------------------

I need a strong dose of caffeine and a dancing midget.

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