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Father John

Cutting yourself.

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So im talking to a friend of mine, and she's bi polar...she's one of the nicest, coolest girls ive met, but she's bi polar and mood swings from sad to unhappy frequently...she basically has no self esteem...she also refuses to take any medication about it which I can understand...

 

anyway were talking about some issues of hers and she begins crying and saying how she used to cut herself across her arms and stomach a lot...i'm thinking "wow thats really bad this girl is either bullshitting me for attention or just needs some serious help.." but then I see her scars across parts of her arm and stomach...now i have no idea what to say after seeing that but just asking why?...I really couldnt get a straight answer out of her, and im trying not to look or sound too weird about it...

 

The whole point of this thread was to see if anyone of you knew anyone like this, who you helped...im just looking for some advice...

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Originally posted by Father John

The whole point of this thread was to see if anyone of you knew anyone like this, who you helped

 

You're not thinking about cutting her are you? That could get you in LOTS of trouble if it goes bad...

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Allright, look... you said it so I'm not 'callin you stupid' BUT... If you're stupid then you have ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS getting mixed up with a crazy girl.

 

Run the other way.

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but remmber only if it goes bad..... :lol:

 

 

 

 

-----

 

 

i knew a kid, a pretty good friend of mine actually, and he was all suicidal and shit and i was so sick of talkin to him like; chill man you dont gotta do this, things will get better, and i was like you know what fuck it, you wanna slit your wrists then do it, i pulled out my switch blade and offered it to him...i held it out for like a minute...he just looked at it and then said to me "you know what fuck that shit, put your knife away"....ever since then hes been normal

 

 

this might not work with a girl...and just to make the story clear i wasnt bout to let him do it, it was a tough love thing...and it worked

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im not great with writing...and yea, it does annoy me a lot when she swings to that sad hopeless mode...but she also can be one of the funnest people to be around..

 

I dont know.... I think I might be too much of a sissy to try that tough love...because if she does do something that is serious to her heath because I offered, i'd feel horrible...

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im really feeling bad for this girl and i dont even know her, so you must be real fucked right now...you gotta convince her into takin medicine or something, i wouldnt recomend the touch love, that was between me and one of my boys, girls are way more fragil and prolly wont get it through thier head, if you really care bout her you gotta get her to take the meds man, its the only way before she hurts herself and the others around her, laydown the facts to her, let her know how much it hurts everyone she knows and that shes not alone that thier are a lot of people like that, she mostly likely dont want to take the medicine because its embarassing, "oh 2 oclock gotta take my antidepresents", let her know that it aint gonna change peoples perception on her, let her know its the only way...

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known plenty of people like that...

we affectionately refer to them as punk rock scars...

she'll get over it and have some nasty scars to live with after...

tell her to get tattooed... it hurts more and leaves a better looking scar...

sorry, but i've known so many people that do that shit that i really can't take it seriously anymore...

 

i'm kinda serious about that the tattoo shit tho... it's some people i know, myself included a little...

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Originally posted by Father John

thanks daze...I think im going to sleep on this right now..if I can sleep...

 

no problem man, i came into this thread thinking it was about how to clean up a cut or whats the worst wound you've ever done to yourself or someshit, it was a surprise to me it was about some girl, anyway im a sucker like that, i cant stand to see girls in pain like that

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Originally posted by Daze One Million

im really feeling bad for this girl and i dont even know her, so you must be real fucked right now...you gotta convince her into takin medicine or something, i wouldnt recomend the touch love, that was between me and one of my boys, girls are way more fragil and prolly wont get it through thier head, if you really care bout her you gotta get her to take the meds man, its the only way before she hurts herself and the others around her, laydown the facts to her, let her know how much it hurts everyone she knows and that shes not alone that thier are a lot of people like that, she mostly likely dont want to take the medicine because its embarassing, "oh 2 oclock gotta take my antidepresents", let her know that it aint gonna change peoples perception on her, let her know its the only way...

 

well said daze, well said.

 

my mate went through a stage of self harming himself when he was having major fights with his woman. i just stood by him, didnt ask any intrusive questions but he knew i was there if he needed to talk.//

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Hmm. I have a lot of experience dealing with this but I want to make this as short as I can. First, it's a pretty classic symptom with bipolar people to not want to take meds. It doesn't apply to everyone, but it is very common, especially with people who lean towards manic. You can encourage her to take her meds but it's up to her to do it. Cutting is done for many reasons but often it helps to relieve anxiety of some form or another. I definitely do not recommend offering anyone who is suicidal a knife because you are always faced with the possibility that they'll use it.

 

You said that she used to cut, and used to is the operative word. Why focus on past behavior? What has she learned to do since then? What has helped her? This is personal opinion but it sounds like she could benfit from having someone like a therapist to talk to. Your job as a friend is emotional support, listening, and caring. Also, if she is a minor who is being abused in any way shouldn't that be reported to someone?

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I've known a couple of girls like this. Get her to take her medication. If you can't do that, remember that a cock in the mouth will usually keep her occupied enough to stop cutting for a while.

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Originally posted by GnomeToys

remember that a cock in the mouth will usually keep her occupied enough to stop cutting for a while.

 

i like the way you think

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cutting is a physical response to emotional pain. you're frustrated, depressed and angry, feeling weak and helpless and since none of those things have quick fixes, you cut because it's tangible...because it fullfills the 'self hatred' that you have. it makes 'sense' in some warped way. there is cause and response, it makes the things inside you dissapear, or atleast quiet down for a bit.... not that ive ever done it, but ive been pretty fascinated with it, and will admit to having a bit of a fetish for it, atleast in theory, as its yet to be practiced.

anyway, your girl needs to be medicated. bi-polar can be serious shit somtimes. the manic episodes can even include hallucinations and if diagnosed during one, often times get mistaken for schizophrenia. it's not the kind of dissorder that can be fixed with excercise and positive thinking. it's gotten to be a pretty common term thrown around, so it has alot less stigma attached to it than some other mental dissorders which is good in some respects, and bad in others. if someone is schizophrenic, no one says 'dude, you just gotta snap out of it', people accept that its serious, and they treat it as such. people have a tendency to just equate bi-polar with depression, which is also alot more serious than people treat it as being, but it's quite a bit different. the manic half is just as destructuve as the depressed.

so now having said all of that, again i'll say that i think she should consider medication. she would be amazed at how much of a difference it can make. as someone said, im sure she's afraid of the stigma attached to it, and also i would assume, pretty med-phobic, which is incredibly common in such cases. just try and reassure her, without pressuring, that its ok, and medication could really help her. you might wanna do a google search and read one of those thousands of sites devoted to it.

you probably already knew all this, but i figured id reiterate it anyway. i've got a decent amount of experience in dealing with mental issues (from all sides of the coin), so i have quite a bit of sympathy for people dealing with it.

good luck.

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Originally posted by Daze One Million

.. i wouldnt recomend the touch love, that was between me and one of my boys, girls are way more fragil and prolly wont get it through thier head, if you really care bout her ...

sorry, but this made me laugh out loud.

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i helped a girl once when she was killin herself...i literally got to her house n she had the knife to her wrist i talked to her got her out of that shit....we ended up bien a couple for a year...then her parents made her move to florida

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