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shoekeys

GET FIRED

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I've been trying to get fired from my wretched job for the past 3 weeks

and I've come to a conclusion that the "GEORGE CASTANZA THEORY",

does in fact, work.

here is a list of things I have done in the past week alone:

 

1. Called in 'sick' last 'Sunday morning' or 4:30am Saturday night,

completely wasted. Loud music and other drunken people talking in background, manager asks, "if Im sick?" and my wasted response is, "Its gonna be one of those days, if ya catch my drift".....

2. IVE DONE NO WORK FOR 6 WEEKS. NOTHING. NADA.NONE.NAN.

3. Come 15 minutes late for the next 2 days.

4. Call in 20 minutes before Wednesdays shift starts and mumble "something has come up, I cant make it in"..(we're supposed to call 4 hours before)

5. Late again the next day.

6. Don't show up or call yesterday

7. 15 minutes late again today, I was in the building but I stopped to chat with a few guys from the print shop.

 

 

So what the fuck is going on??!

I have to admit, things this week got real drastic, real fast.

But im at my wits end! It makes no sense!

Initially I thought my not doing any work

would get my ass fired, but no one seems to care or notice.

I don't know what to do, Im 5 minutes away from sending my manager

an email with the word nigger in it.

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Yeah why don't you just quit? And why are you trying to get fired? Don't you know how scarace jobs are these days?

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go to work sloshed, and drink at work..... instead of doing nothing, do what you're suposed to do real bad, that gets noticed a lot quicker.

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but if you're fired, you can say that the boss just didn't like you.

 

its a he said she said thing. if you quit, that just shows you are a quitter and doesn't look good on your next application...

 

 

of course i'm just guessing....

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Im trying to get fired because Im moving across the country in

2 weeks and I could care less about this hole and their

corporate mission statement.

And getting fired is way more entertaining then quitting.

quitting is for losers.

George Castanza never quit.

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You should really use this place as a reference. You usually have to explain gaps in you're employment.

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I'm saying go to work sloshed. You will either take care of the problem you are having not being fired, or you will have an unofficial go-ahead to come in drunk every day. Bring a bottle of jager with you everywhere in the office place, and just sip on it continuously. If asked, just mumble something about herpes.

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Originally posted by villain

You should really use this place as a reference. You usually have to explain gaps in you're employment.

 

 

My explanation will be, "working for the man, gets you no where Stan"

and then I will go drink a long island iced tea with my friends at the beach.

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Walk into you bosses office and ask him to donate to the "human fund" and when he finds out that there is no human fund you will get fired..or you can tell him you celibrate festivase.

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hold your piss in from NOW, until you get to the office. Then when your boss goes to lunch, go in his office, PISS EVERYWHERE and accidentaly leave something with your name on it in the office.:lol:

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Originally posted by unconscience

hold your piss in from NOW, until you get to the office. Then when your boss goes to lunch, go in his office, PISS EVERYWHERE and accidentaly leave something with your name on it in the office.:lol:

i still say go for the snapple

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I want to order a 100$ worth of chinese food

to this fat bitch managers' office and then watch her have to pay for it

and eat it and get fatter.

fuck you fat bitch manager

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I'm not sure if getting fired entitles you to unemployment. When I tried to pull that off they wanted my job as a reference. I think youhave to get laid off. Try just never going back to work. That always worked for me.

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i think there was a thread on this a while ago.i think one of the suggestions was just walking around with your dick hanging out of your pants.just pretend you dont notice. make sure to "accidently" brush your hand up against it and shake your bosses hand.this would be extra funny if you were pissing while doing this.

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Originally posted by NOBODY

i think there was a thread on this a while ago.i think one of the suggestions was just walking around with your dick hanging out of your pants.just pretend you dont notice. make sure to "accidently" brush your hand up against it and shake your bosses hand.this would be extra funny if you were pissing while doing this.

 

I remember something like this in a joke email or something..... does anyone have it? I would like to read it again, as I remember it was funny as all hell.....I've been looking, and I can't find it, so.....

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Originally posted by NOUM

just quit.

 

 

:idea: BRILLIANT! why didnt anyone come up with that in the first place?!

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