shoekeys Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 http://www.wjzy.com/graphics/images/george.jpg'> I've been trying to get fired from my wretched job for the past 3 weeks and I've come to a conclusion that the "GEORGE CASTANZA THEORY", does in fact, work. here is a list of things I have done in the past week alone: 1. Called in 'sick' last 'Sunday morning' or 4:30am Saturday night, completely wasted. Loud music and other drunken people talking in background, manager asks, "if Im sick?" and my wasted response is, "Its gonna be one of those days, if ya catch my drift"..... 2. IVE DONE NO WORK FOR 6 WEEKS. NOTHING. NADA.NONE.NAN. 3. Come 15 minutes late for the next 2 days. 4. Call in 20 minutes before Wednesdays shift starts and mumble "something has come up, I cant make it in"..(we're supposed to call 4 hours before) 5. Late again the next day. 6. Don't show up or call yesterday 7. 15 minutes late again today, I was in the building but I stopped to chat with a few guys from the print shop. So what the fuck is going on??! I have to admit, things this week got real drastic, real fast. But im at my wits end! It makes no sense! Initially I thought my not doing any work would get my ass fired, but no one seems to care or notice. I don't know what to do, Im 5 minutes away from sending my manager an email with the word nigger in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetcherry Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 how bout instead of being fired, QUIT...or just put a move on your boss(it would be better if they were same sex) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
$360 Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 fire usually helps with this topic. http://www.pnl.gov/nsd/commercial/fmd/fire.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villain Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Yeah why don't you just quit? And why are you trying to get fired? Don't you know how scarace jobs are these days? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StarzAbove Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Sweetcherry has a point! Just Quit! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadawhat Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 go to work sloshed, and drink at work..... instead of doing nothing, do what you're suposed to do real bad, that gets noticed a lot quicker. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grandola Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 but if you're fired, you can say that the boss just didn't like you. its a he said she said thing. if you quit, that just shows you are a quitter and doesn't look good on your next application... of course i'm just guessing.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoekeys Posted July 22, 2003 Author Share Posted July 22, 2003 Im trying to get fired because Im moving across the country in 2 weeks and I could care less about this hole and their corporate mission statement. And getting fired is way more entertaining then quitting. quitting is for losers. George Castanza never quit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
villain Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 You should really use this place as a reference. You usually have to explain gaps in you're employment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don't Panic Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 I'm saying go to work sloshed. You will either take care of the problem you are having not being fired, or you will have an unofficial go-ahead to come in drunk every day. Bring a bottle of jager with you everywhere in the office place, and just sip on it continuously. If asked, just mumble something about herpes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoekeys Posted July 22, 2003 Author Share Posted July 22, 2003 Originally posted by villain You should really use this place as a reference. You usually have to explain gaps in you're employment. My explanation will be, "working for the man, gets you no where Stan" and then I will go drink a long island iced tea with my friends at the beach. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unconscience Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 I BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF THIS... IF YOU QUIT, YOU DON'T GET UNEMPLOYMENT. :king: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetcherry Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 ohh i have a good idea....pee in a snapple bottle and pretend its snapple...and give it to your boss...heheh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimmieWalker Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Walk into you bosses office and ask him to donate to the "human fund" and when he finds out that there is no human fund you will get fired..or you can tell him you celibrate festivase. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unconscience Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 hold your piss in from NOW, until you get to the office. Then when your boss goes to lunch, go in his office, PISS EVERYWHERE and accidentaly leave something with your name on it in the office.:lol: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetcherry Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Originally posted by unconscience hold your piss in from NOW, until you get to the office. Then when your boss goes to lunch, go in his office, PISS EVERYWHERE and accidentaly leave something with your name on it in the office.:lol: i still say go for the snapple Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shoekeys Posted July 22, 2003 Author Share Posted July 22, 2003 I want to order a 100$ worth of chinese food to this fat bitch managers' office and then watch her have to pay for it and eat it and get fatter. fuck you fat bitch manager Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unconscience Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 shoekeys yea, i like that one too.:idea: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lil'moco Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 I'm not sure if getting fired entitles you to unemployment. When I tried to pull that off they wanted my job as a reference. I think youhave to get laid off. Try just never going back to work. That always worked for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOBODY Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 i think there was a thread on this a while ago.i think one of the suggestions was just walking around with your dick hanging out of your pants.just pretend you dont notice. make sure to "accidently" brush your hand up against it and shake your bosses hand.this would be extra funny if you were pissing while doing this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sweetcherry Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 how bout instead of chinese you order something she hates...and then watch her pay for it and her try to figure out what to do with it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Don't Panic Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Originally posted by NOBODY i think there was a thread on this a while ago.i think one of the suggestions was just walking around with your dick hanging out of your pants.just pretend you dont notice. make sure to "accidently" brush your hand up against it and shake your bosses hand.this would be extra funny if you were pissing while doing this. I remember something like this in a joke email or something..... does anyone have it? I would like to read it again, as I remember it was funny as all hell.....I've been looking, and I can't find it, so..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOUM Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Go simple,just quit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unconscience Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 QUITTING IS FOR PUSSIES NOUM, YA FUCKIN PUSSY ({}):eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scrabble Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Originally posted by NOUM just quit. :idea: BRILLIANT! why didnt anyone come up with that in the first place?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Here is how you are going to get fired. If you like you should start as every one has said by drinking on the job. Not liquor. You should be drinking 40's all day. When you have to piss, if you have an office job you should make sure that some one sees you relieving yourself into one of your own desk drawers. If you don't have your own desk then you should definately take a leak in a plant some where. Make sure that people see you walking around with the crudest pornography that you can find. If you work some where that you deal directly with customers offer them to read the pornography. Smell strongly of beer everywhere you go. Burp really loud all the time. Pick your ass and scratch your nuts constantly and visably. If your boss starts to say something to you, Yawn really loudly and fakely and say ' BOOOOOORING' then walk away. If you follow these steps you are promised to get that ass fired.;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.T Boy Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 this could have office space potential. and your giving me a raise? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
casekonly Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 poop in the sink and spell your name out in wet toilet paper on the walls. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOUM Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Originally posted by unconscience QUITTING IS FOR PUSSIES NOUM, YA FUCKIN PUSSY ({}):eek: I wont even bother to respond to this.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effyoo Posted July 22, 2003 Share Posted July 22, 2003 Originally posted by T.T Boy this could have office space potential. Someone told me once that I look like the dude from office space. I didn't know whether to be offended or not. http://sportsmed.starwave.com/media/pg2/2002/0828/photo/officespace_i.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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