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hellcouncil

Most terrifying bear attack experience?

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Down by Mr. Sullivan's cabin last summer. Was out on the docks loading up the boat, forgot that I left my sack lunch on the back porch table. Went back to get it when a 12 footer reared up on me out of nowhere. Took one of my arms, both legs.

 

Anybody else?

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Shit man, there's so many I can't name 'em all.

In fact, I don't think I'm gonna name any of 'em...they were all so traumatic.

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i worked in the bush for 7 years, treeplanting....and had

many very close encounters with bears.

bears are dope. simultaneously awe inspiring

and brown undie activating.

they are also faster than you can imagine....

its truly insane how fast they can boogie over a clearcut....

never been attacked. nor anyone i know, job related or otherwise.

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bears are so scary:

they run faster than me

are stronger than me

have bigger teeth than me

have bigger claws than me

can climb trees better than me

 

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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Guest beardo

yeah.. but can they paint..? i didnt think so.

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Guest unknown

one time i fed a black bear a large peperonni pizza...

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Originally posted by unknown:

one time i fed a black bear a large peperonni pizza...

 

Did you drink a 40 with his ass?

 

I drank a 40 and smoked an L with a bear once.

 

MEROSEIS

HARSTARS

TMFMLBTK

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one time there was this tight ass girl bear right so were gettin it on in her den all of a suddin her baby bears daddy knocks on the den door right im like shieeeet! so i grab my clothes and mash like a killer he starts chasing me then i tripped started rolling down this hill...get up and im at this party.....dont know how i got there! but the girl bear was there so i finished what i started you know what i mean?

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Guest bug

a bear was shitting in the woods. next to him was a little white rabbit also shitting. the bear asks the rabbit "do you ever have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" the rabbit replies "no, never have" the bear replies "very well then" as he picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with it. http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//biggrin.gif'>

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Originally posted by bug:

a bear was shitting in the woods. next to him was a little white rabbit also shitting. the bear asks the rabbit "do you ever have problems with shit sticking to your fur?" the rabbit replies "no, never have" the bear replies "very well then" as he picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with it. http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//biggrin.gif'>

 

hahahhaha

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Uhh..a bear walks into a bar..

he sits down for a drink and the bartender said 'we dont serve food here'..so the hot dog ran away. Then the bear farted.

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Originally posted by mapo wc:

Uhh..a bear walks into a bar..

he sits down for a drink and the bartender said 'we dont serve food here'..so the hot dog ran away. Then the bear farted.

 

no more acid for you homey.

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Guest bug

a big ol' grizzly walks into a whore house and asks for the most quality/expensive ho. the manager didn't wanna piss off a big ol' grizzly so he lets him have her. they go in the room and he starts to give really good oral sex. the best she ever had. he used his tongue like magic to give her the most intense multiple orgasms she's ever experienced. she got hot and horny and was ready to fuck him when he suddenly gets up and walks out. she ran after him and asked "what's wrong?", he replied "nothing, its just my nature to do it this way." she was confused, so she pulled out an encyclopedia and read up on grizzlies. she was still confused until she excalimed "Aha!" and figured it out. in column two it says ..."eats bush and leaves..."

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bare itd attacked me once. i was all, fuck off hippy. then he took of his bare suit and it was really captain crunch. we rocked all night long to the swinging sounds of beach buggy and later on had a bowl of his favorite cereal. the claw wounds still bleed, but my heart is full of birdseed.

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Originally posted by hellcouncil:

 

you fuck bears?

 

 

------

 

"i dont fuck bears, but i'm hung like one" - lisa left eye lopez

 

 

uhhhhhh........no

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