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Why cant i fuck regular girls?


SleepAnDream

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Originally posted by chozer

what the FUCK are you getting yourself into nowadays man????

 

 

 

shit....so much has gone awry since we chilled at that legal..

 

 

:D

just a squirrel tryin to get a nut i guess eh? haha. i should be in your area within the next month if youre tryin to kick it. im trying to get that ink done from jesse sometime soon too~ for anyone who cares...after tonight ill have a new story....maybe not quite as disturbing, but interesting nontheless...sleep, the motherfucker...but that shits BEEN official....for a couple years now. bwuahahaha. edible afterbirth, oh the memories. where you been at? ill near YOU all weekend actually. in the district below...tell bmore too that theres a keg hes invited to not too far from yall....

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3 dots...

 

Originally posted by sweetcherry

my friend told me about this dude....

he fucked a retarded girl and then he thought she got pregnent....she took the pregnency test and it was negative so he went and fucked her again

 

fucking H O R R I B L E. period.x3. exclamation mark.

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LLLLLAAAAAAMMMMMMEEEEE!!

 

my friend told me about this dude....

he fucked a retarded girl and then he thought she got pregnent....she took the pregnency test and it was negative so he went and fucked her again

:rolleyes:
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When I was 18, I worked as an orderly at a rehabilitation hospital. There was this really good-looking girl who came in as a patient. She caught polio when she was a kid, and wore braces on her legs and used crutches, but she was looking very good in every other way. She had to get some surgery to correct a knee problem. I was a transportation orderly, and I took her to therapy every day. It was my job to pick her up (along with another guy--takes two) in a "log roll" carry, put her on a stretcher, and take her to Physical Therapy.

 

Anyway, we got to be friendly and all. She seemed to be fascinated with my life (I was living in Montrose in a shit-hole apartment and spent most of my time at the Family Hand Restaurant or Liberty Hall at concerts--ever see "Almost Famous"? Similar deal.) She asked me where I lived and I told her.

 

One night, a while after she discharged from the hospital, I hear somebody coming up the stairs. It was a shitty apartment in a bad part of town, I don't think we even had a light in our hallway. It sounded like somebody moving something on a hand cart up the stairs. Creak-bump. Creak-bump. Then knock-knock at my door. I got my pistol and opened the door. It was the girl from the hospital. She said (in a very cheery, girl-next-door kind of voice) "I've come to spend the weekend!"

I'm thinking, "Man, this is kind of wierd," but how often do you have a virgin pick you out to be Number One?

 

It's difficult to say if it was good or bad (hey, busting a girl's cherry is definately a labor of love) but it was certainly memorable.

I wonder where she is now?

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LOL, because I'm like fifty three years old, test pattern. When you are fifty three, you'll have a bunch of boring ass stories too. And if you're lucky, like me, you'll have an audience that will tolerate you telling them.

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Case 3: the internet girl.

 

so we have preggo bitches, bearded ladies and mommies as of late...heres the new steez i guess. so a friend of mine has fucked 92 girls. when i first met him a year and a half ago, he was at 40-something. i didnt believe this kid. 40-something chicks? thats a good deal yknow...so i inquired into his methods. it was simple: the internet. im sure half of you fools have seen www.facethejury.com, www.lavalife.com, www.hotornot.com etc etc. everynow and again id browse, yknow....to see what kinda weirdo girls are on the internet. a couple weeks ago a freind of mine shows me this one site he gives server space to and tells me i should sign up. so after looking through the list of girls this kid is talking to i was like, eh whatever. so i did. got me a little picture on there....a little profile and whatnot, laughing all the while. so one day a couple weeks later i get an email. i start talking to this girl from dc. she works in a law firm, about to get her BA in international relations, lives in a $2800/mo apartment...this girls got way too much going for her to be interested in me im thinking. so i tell her im going back home for a couple weeks and to email me there. she asks where im from and i tell her, she replies with, holy shit, im from that state -how weird. what city she asks. i tell her. are you kidding me? IM from there. which neighborhood i ask? holy shit i says to her...IM about 15 streets from you. how odd. so we exchange #'s, talk a bit and make plans to go out. i took the metro up towards her place, not really remembering the few pictures she sent me, i got off the train and walked right the fuck by her. she calls out my name, i turn, and :angelic aaaahhhhhh: the girl is georgeous. i was very much taken aback.so after my initial gawking was over, we go out, have a great time, dinner and whatnot-and then she asks me if i want to come back to her place. i was all "bout it bout it" yknow, haha. i wasnt passing this one up. so we go there and get to messing around, it gets heavy, i got head for days it was great, but when i came down to doing the deed, the proverbial "adult" if you will...i didnt even want to. dont get it fucked up, i WANTED to, but i guess i dug deep and used that "will" thing all the cool kids are talking about these days. I guess i wanted to wait? or something.its ironic that the most oddball way ive ever met a girl turns out a pretty decent girl. halfway "normal" if you will...its really odd and frightening, but i think i might actually like this girl. and not just in a molester type of way, its odd...the fucking internet, who woulda thought? tom hanks never got head from meg ryan, his little aol fuck freind. eat your fucking heart out forrest.

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just like on 12oz...on these "hook up" websites, half of you people can pretend youre something youre not. you should try it out, then maybe you wouldnt have to fuck those empty snapple bottles anymore ::cough-tease-cough cough:: hehe.whatevers clever, yknow? i actually have plans to go to the firm this chick works at in DC and watch the fireworks ontop of the roof of her building. sounds fun enough. what are youuuuuu doin?

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