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SleepAnDream

speaking of circus acts...youll like this one...

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oh god. im at this bar wednesday night, drinking and whatnot when these girls come up to me and a couple friends of mine. my friend starts whipping out his wallet, buying em shots left and right getting em all primed up and whatnot. so i get to talking with this one girl, and she was pretty fucking cute, thin, curvy hips, cute face, big titties, gorgeous eyes... so i was pretty happy about that. so were talking and flirting when 50 cent or some dumb shit comes on and this girl feels the need to dance, so i sit there as she dances all on me and whatnot...i ask her to go to the bar with me, we'll go do a shot or two. so we get a little drunk, start hooking up and whatnot when her other friend gets all sick and starts puking...so that one girls all "im sorry, heres my number" blah blah blah.i walk away feeling as if i had at least accomplished something decent for the night when my friend comes up to me, and asks me if i saw her "beard". all i noticed was that she kinda had some...slight sideburns i guess, but it was nothing to the point of odd or anything...i was like, uuuuh no, but shes italian, italians are furry creatures as it is, its in there genes yknow? so i tell this dude "i can overlook a little furryness". and thats that...

skip to day two.

she meets me and my boy at this restaraunt, nice place, mexican, dimly lit or whatever. and im still thinking, this girls cool as hell, pretty fine too...we eat then drive separate cars to that dudes house where there was a keg and whatnot, get drunk ,hook up a bunch and girl #2 starts puking again. a little perturbed i was but hey, i got over it...

time warp: day three.

im at work where i still am now, ive been here since 8am this morning and i still have 7 hours left. this girl calls me up, hey, im trying to come see you, whatever whatever, so i say come on over.. mind you, the last two days i saw her were at night, in a bar and restaraunt yknow...

to this day im all stoked about this new hot girl i met...tell me why,

i was waiting at the bottom of a set of stairs for her,i look up and see this girl has more facial hair than i do? im saying...its not a shadow...no...its not peach fuzz or furr...uh-uh...this girl had patches of dark black hair, as long as my fucking dickhair growing sparadically from under her chin. i was so shocked by this fact that i couldnt look her in the eyes the whole time she was here. this chicks all trying to hug me and all i could immagine was her fuckin facial mullet rubbing all over my chest. i was so grossed out. the thing is, this girls cool as shit, shes got a beachhouse in viginia beach, has horses, money, hot friends annnnnnnnd some goddamned muttenchops. how the fuck do i ask this bitch " hey baby, before we go ahead and do the adult, would you mind taking my electric razor to you furry ass face please?" yknow, i just dont feel like having sex with a chick that looks like shes fucking amish tonight ok? maybe another time. she just called me up all drunk thats why im writing this. sitting at work,i have this huge building to myself and a psuedo "hot" drunk girl calling me to see if she could stop by..."sorry hun, you can come in but im not supposed to let pets inside the building, youll have to check that ferret hanging from you chin at the door..." fuckin A. so someone help me out here, how can i ask the bearded lady to prune her facial hedges, cuz underneath, there is a hot, non scruffy girl waiting to be had...italians and mother nature, a plague on both your houses.

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Originally posted by SleepAnDream

...italians and mother nature, a plague on both your houses.

 

my advice is

just get the bitch to read a cosmo mag where they say TOP 10 THINGS THAT GUYS HATE ABOUT GIRLS

 

the number one should be CHICKS WITH BEARDS

 

if not then the girls have it all wrong

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i dont understand....shes GOTTA know shes grizzly....dead serious: i bet she could braid some of thos mutherfuckers....its creepy.

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that shit is fucked up.

 

i bet she has hair surrounding her nipples.

 

she probably doesnt shave it because shes in denial about it or something.

 

you should probably fuck her in the dark. and then when youre finished act like youre cumming on her face but just pour out some nair on her chin.

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you don't have to touch it, it's not your problem if it hurts her.

 

she'll thank you in the end for making her realize the hair is not sexy. ;)

 

use an electric shaver and u wont have to touch it

 

:idea:

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i was gonna try and give advice.. but when i saw "facial mullet" all hope was lost for a decent reply from me....:lol:

 

not to put your hopes down, but maybe she's just a reallly dope looking guy?:o

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Originally posted by XxSugarxX

maybe she's just a reallly dope looking guy?:o

 

QUOTE OF THE DAY:king:

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Get her an "everything included' day at the spa. If she bites, you'll have to keep that up though, $$$.

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Originally posted by XxSugarxX

i was gonna try and give advice.. but when i saw "facial mullet" all hope was lost for a decent reply from me....:lol:

 

not to put your hopes down, but maybe she's just a reallly dope looking guy?:o

 

:lol: :lol:

 

i say go with her..you say she's hot..good..you say she's nice..good..haven't you ever seen shallow hal bro?..remember your gonna have to meet the folks one of these days..imagin how they must look..:lol:

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