Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...
Sign in to follow this  
SleepAnDream

Blow jobs?

Recommended Posts

some of this is kinda funny.....

 

 

 

> > > BLOW JOBS!!!!

> > >

> > > WHAT A GIRL HAS TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT

> > > 1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

> > > 2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.

> > > 3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not

> > standard practice to cum on someone's face.

> > > 4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.

> > > 5. My ears are NOT handles.

> > > 6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I

> heard,

> > deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on

> your

> > dick?

> > > 7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

> > > 8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it

> through

> > your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel

> > particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have sex right

> > now.

> > > 9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls " might have worked on high school

> > girls - if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my

> > Midol.

> > > 10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't

tell

> me

> > I've just "wrecked it" for you.

> > > 11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately

> afterwards

> > is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in

the

> > future.

> > > 12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate

about

> > the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're

> > good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

> > > 13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the

> > protein content.

> > > 14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

> > > 15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow

> jobs

> > often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either

> sympathize

> > or brag.

> > > 16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to

> > "kiss it good morning."

> > >

> > >

> > > WHAT A MAN HAS TO SAY ON THE SUBJECT

> > >

> > > 1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will

> find

> > someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.

> > > 2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot

easier

> > than licking a dead fish.

> > > 3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything

> to

> > you?

> > > 4. I will use your ears as I see fit. Don't worry about it and be

> thankful

> > I'm not pulling your hair.

> > > 5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is the

> > only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!

> > > 6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you

> need

> > all the fluids you can get. Trust me.

> > > 7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get

> the

> > short end of the stick in flavor country.

> > > 8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.

> > > 9. Play with the balls.

> > > 10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

> > > 11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!

> > > 12. Make hay when the sun shines. It's "wide awake" in the morning

now,

> > but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee

> it'll

> > be "sound asleep."

> > > 13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on

> your

> > face, now will you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest WebsterUno

or as tease calls it...BRAINS!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by YG Blood

I have a natural charm to get the ladies to let me blast on their faces.

thats funny, me too. well most of them. if not that then they almost always swallow.:yum: :lick:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by dELiSs

cool ..minus the cool.

 

haha that was amazing.

 

On another note, that email wasnt funny, shoot whoever sent that garbage to you. Teeeheeee thats like something 13 year olds or 36 year olds send around to get chuckles.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes...

the person who wrote that reads cosmo

and wears shirts that say,

 

"don't talk to me, I haven't had my chocolate fix"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.

 

:lol: so true

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Register for a 12ozProphet forum account or sign in to comment

You need to be a forum member in order to comment. Forum accounts are separate from shop accounts.

Create an account

Register to become a 12ozProphet forum member.

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×