Guest imported_Europe Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 http://www.synergizedsolutions.com/simpsons/pictures/others/lionel.gif'> I just love this guy. 1: Hutz: Now Marge, you´ve come to the right place. By hiring me as your lawyer, you also get this smoking monkey. [sniff] Better cut down there, Smokey! [laughs] Marge: Mr. Hutz! Hutz: [excited] Look - he´s taking another puff! Marge: Mr. Hutz! This was all a misunderstanding; I didn´t mean to take anything. [Lionel disappointedly drops the smoking monkey in a drawer full of identical critters] Hutz: Now don´t you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We´ve drawn Judge Snyder. Marge: Is that bad? Hutz: Well, he´s kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace `accidently´ with `repeatedly´, and replace `dog´ with `son´. 2: Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I was just going through your garbage, and I couldn´t help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour. Homer: We pay eight dollars for the night, and you can take two popsicles out of the freezer. Hutz: Three. Homer: Two. Hutz: OK, two. And I get to keep this old bird cage. Homer: Done! Hutz: [proudly] Still got it. 3: Lionel Hutz, executor of Ms. Bouvier´s estate. She left a video-will so I earn my fee simply by pressing the "play" button. Pretty sweet, eh? Late Ms. Bouvier [video-will]: Now let´s get down to business... Hutz [voice dubbed in]: To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $50,000. Marge: Mr. Hutz!!! Hutz: You´d be surprised how often that works, you really would. 4: Hutz: And so, ladies and gentleman of the jury I rest my case. Judge: Hmmm. Mr. Hutz, do you know that you´re not wearing any pants? Hutz: DAAAA!! I move for a bad court thingy. Judge: You mean a mistrial? Hutz: Right!! That´s why you´re the judge and I´m the law-talking guy. Judge: You mean the lawyer? Hutz: Right. 5: Marge: Homer! Are you all right? Homer: [meekly] No. Hutz: Mr. Simpson, don´t you worry. I watched Matlock in a bar last night. The sound wasn´t on, but I think I got the gist of it. 6: ! Hutz: I didn´t win. Here´s your pizza. ! Marge: But we did win. ! Hutz: That´s okay. The box is empty. 7: Hutz: Thank you, Dr. Hibbert. I rest my case. Judge: You rest your case? Hutz: What? Oh no, I thought that was just a figure of speech. CASE CLOSED. 8: Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. What´s that, a broken neck? Great! 9: Milhouse baby! Lionel Hutz, your new agent, unauthorized biographer and drug dealer..., er keeper awayer. 10: Ladies and gentlemen, I´m going to prove to you not only that Freddy Quimby is guilty, but that he is also innocent of not being guilty. http://www.stanford.edu/~orozco/hutz-mug.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
effyoo Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Barlow Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 i had a lawyer jst like him once. I was sittin next to hinm in court and when they called my name he was all lookin around for me but i was right next to him elike "What eh fluck?" Needless to say i lost the case. Ansd he fot me sent to jail for a l;ittle bit. What a bitch ass faggot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatbastard Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 the guy who did his voice and troy mclures died he was on news radio as well i cant remember his name Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 thats why i never paid his ass the rest of his money. And other than that this thread is http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr.yuck Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 Originally posted by fatbastard the guy who did his voice and troy mclures died he was on news radio as well i cant remember his name yeah hist wife blasted his ass/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Barlow Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 It was Phil Hartman you fucks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dick Quickwood Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 funny show Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rectum Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 RIP did the wifey do herself as well?? i cant remember... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest sneak Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 Homer: Done! Hutz: [proudly] Still got it. haha, this is why the simpsons rule Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Born Loser Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 Originally posted by Ken Barlow It was Phil Hartman you fucks! the man is right Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.T Boy Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb/icons/icon26.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackson Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 http://www.zyworld.com/danmonkey2000/smoker.gif'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
evilistic Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 the brother doesnt get near enough props he deserves.gangsta. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
philestine Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 Homer: The doctor says it's just a bump on the head and a broken toe, nothing serious. Hutz: Pfft. Doctors. Doctors are idiots! http://www.cosmicclutter.com/Toys/Images/SimpLionelHutz.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mental invalid Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 god bless phil hartman...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Rage- Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 Hope you guys remember these. I sure as hell do. http://darknoon.free.fr/resume/7f10/020.jpg'> http://darknoon.free.fr/resume/7f10/029.jpg'> http://darknoon.free.fr/resume/7f10/040.jpg'> http://darknoon.free.fr/resume/7f17/061.jpg'> http://darknoon.free.fr/resume/7f17/062.jpg'> http://darknoon.free.fr/resume/9f06/049.jpg'> http://darknoon.free.fr/resume/9f06/071.jpg'> http://darknoon.free.fr/resume/9f06/073.jpg'> http://darknoon.free.fr/resume/1f07/091.jpg'> "Hey you! Get out of my office!" This really needs to be a Phil Hartman appreciation thread... http://homerize.com/framegrabs/3F31/27.jpg'> http://www.powersauce.com/framegrabs/3F31/50.jpg'> Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferris Bueller Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 Troy McLure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RumPuncher Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 Care for a belt of whiskey? Mr. Hutz! It's ten in the morning. That's okay, I haven't slept. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaolinmasta Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 Originally posted by Europe http://www.synergizedsolutions.com/simpsons/pictures/others/lionel.gif'> 1: Hutz: Now Marge, you´ve come to the right place. By hiring me as your lawyer, you also get this smoking monkey. [sniff] Better cut down there, Smokey! [laughs] Marge: Mr. Hutz! Hutz: [excited] Look - he´s taking another puff! Marge: Mr. Hutz! This was all a misunderstanding; I didn´t mean to take anything. [Lionel disappointedly drops the smoking monkey in a drawer full of identical critters] Hutz: Now don´t you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I - uh-oh. We´ve drawn Judge Snyder. Marge: Is that bad? Hutz: Well, he´s kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace `accidently´ with `repeatedly´, and replace `dog´ with `son´. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
-Rage- Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 "Bazooka Joe's got deep pockets." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ShankYoAss Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 Originally posted by Rectum RIP did the wifey do herself as well?? i cant remember... yeh, his wife had a drug problem, she killed him and then herself. huge loss, phil was one of the best comedians of all time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atrocks Posted May 22, 2003 Share Posted May 22, 2003 "a contract...websters defines it as an agreement that cant be broken..that caaaant be broken.....uhm...excuse me i have to go to the bathroom...".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freight rat Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 Marge: So, Mr. Hutz, does my husband have a case? Hutz: I'm sorry, Mrs. Simpson, but you can't copyright a drink. Homer: [whines] Oh! Hutz: This all goes back to the Frank Wallbanger case of '78. How about that! I looked something up! These books behind me don't just make the office look good, they're filled with useful legal tidbits just like that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
freight rat Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 Hutz: All right gentleman. I will take your case. But I will require a thousand dollar retainer. Bart: A thousand dollars. But your ad says "no money down". Hutz: Oh, they got this all screwed up. [corrects ad with felt-marker] Bart: So you don't work on a contingency basis? Hutz: No, money down. Oops, I shouldn't have the Bar Association logo here either. [Hutz eats ad] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
B_As_In_Bot Posted May 23, 2003 Share Posted May 23, 2003 http://www.laugh.com/gimages/comics/hartman.gif'> R I P Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.