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Guest beardo

This Day In Channel Zero History

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Man charged in dildo assault

FJORDANE, Norway, May 9 (UPI)

 

 

A Norwegian man arrested Tuesday says he only struck his former girlfriend with a dildo, despite her being hospitalized with a concussion and broken bones.

 

The 28-year-old victim remained in the hospital with two broken fingers and several cuts. According to local newspaper Firda, she told police she feared for her life during the assault, Aftenposten reported.

 

The 37-year-old defendant appeared in the Fjordane court in the scenic western town of Nordfjordeid on Monday. He said he was sorry for his actions, and attempted to downplay the assault.

 

"It lasted 10 to 15 minutes max," he told the court. "I didn't hit her with anything other than a dildo."

 

He also suggested the woman may have had bruises from before the assault.

 

"She doesn't tolerate much because of anorexia," he said, adding that he was sorry "for what happened" and demanded he be released.

 

He was instead ordered held for another four weeks.

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i've heard that anorexics can't handle dildos

 

 

 

:huh:

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and now....the moment you've all been waiting for....

 

 

PLACENTA RECIPES!

PLAC038.jpg

 

 

Placenta Cocktail:

1/4 cup raw placenta

8oz V-8 juice

2 ice cubes

1/2 cup carrot.

Blend at high speed for 10 seconds

 

 

Placenta Lasagne:

Use your favorite Lasagne recipe and substitute this mixture for one layer of cheese. In 2 tbl. olive oil, quickly saute meat of 3/4 placenta, ground or minced; plus 2 sliced cloves of garlic, 1/2 tsp. oregano, 1/2 diced onion & 2 tbl. tomato paste, or 1 whole tomato.

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