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Guest beardo

This Just In

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Guest beardo

According to sources loosely associated with Donny Most, an unexpected development happened to recently happen. The happening was described by eyewitnesses which consisted of members from 'The Society of Fellows for the Advancement of Peoples With Foreign Foodstuffs Encrusted on Their Perineal Regions' and the infamous 'Underground Poonis Belchers and Feltchfarmers of East St. Louis' group. Aparrently, in a West Hollywood bungalow, at a convention for retired transvestite milkmen with a penchant for snorting dried marsupial semen, nothing of particular interest happened. However, across the street, one Fred Savage was observed running at full speed with a bullfrog protruding out of his rectum while trying to urethane his testicles with a drafting brush. It remains unclear as to why he was in such a rush. Meanwhile, eighty-thousand light years away, on a planet 12/6 the size of earth in an opposite spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy, alien janitors go about the business of cleaning up alien vomit in alien schools for alien kids - sprinkling strong-scented absorbent alien powder on multicolored alien vomit, 'cause some snot-nosed alien shitbag couldn't make it to the alien excreta vessel to vomit out the alien contents of his alien food-digester. All the while, hundreds of quadrillions of aliens were pooping all over the universe, with their varied alien poopchutes. The universe consuming itself and excreting itself. Ingesting, pooping, cumming, singing. Janitoring, scrubbing, cleansing, cleaning. That's the word on the streets, anyway. Thanks to Donny Most for the inside scoop.

 

Sincerely,

THE POOPER

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Guest beardo

hey man, i dont make the news. i just copy/paste the report

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