Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Cyber Sex is Fun...


Recommended Posts

Originally posted by Jackson

yea those are fucking hilarious...

 

 

MackTrucker2000: so do you like to suck cock sarah

 

 

 

 

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You really have to be careful who you talk to on these things.

 

 

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I really live in Maryland and I'm really only 18.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I still live at home with my Mom and Dad.

 

 

MackTrucker2000: Im in Manchester

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: No way!

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Get out of here!

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I live in Manchester too!

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I didn't want to say Manchester because I didn't think you would know where it is.

 

 

 

MackTrucker2000: Don't lie, sugar. Lets fuck

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Seriously! I'm not lying.

MackTrucker2000: Ok lets talk about my big cock in your mouth

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Wait a second.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Let's talk more about you.

MackTrucker2000: don't want to talk about me

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Gosh, you're so secretive.

 

 

 

MackTrucker2000: take your panties off sugar.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Ok.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: But first you have to tell me where in Manchester you live.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Come on. I'll tell you.Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Maybe we already know each other.

MackTrucker2000: doubt it.

 

 

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You're so funny

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: My Dad calls me sugar all the time.

 

 

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I live right near Grace Bible church.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Do you have a picture that I can see?

MackTrucker2000: check my profile

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Oh. Ok. Hold on.

 

 

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: OMG. Dad, this is Chrissy.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It's me, Chrissy.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Your daughter? Duhhh. Hello?

 

 

 

MackTrucker2000: shut up whore. I don't have any daughters.

 

 

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad, I'm serious. This is really Chrissy.

MackTrucker2000: whats your last name then

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It's Bolchezk, same as yours.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Evil_Sarah is just my made up name online, Dad.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I'm over here at Laura's house. remember?

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Spending the night?

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Hello?

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad, are you there?

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: You're disgusting.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I hate you.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: I'm going to tell Mom about this.

 

 

MackTrucker2000: quit trying to mess with me

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad, I'm not kidding.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: It's Chrissy. Our phone number is 410-374-****!

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: We live at **** Charmil Drive, right by Grace Bible Church.

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Dad?

Evil_Sarah_Bitch: Answer me.

MackTrucker2000: <<has logged out>>

 

 

*edit activated link

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: that is some fucken funny shit
Link to post
Share on other sites
This forum is supported by the 12ozProphet Shop, so go buy a shirt and help support!
This forum is brought to you by the 12ozProphet Shop.
This forum is brought to you by the 12oz Shop.
  • Replies 130
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • 1 year later...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

 

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high

heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements

are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

 

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have

on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also

wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from

dinner...it smells funny.

 

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

 

Wellhung: OK.

 

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the

stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into

your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and

begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

 

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

 

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

 

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

 

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

 

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

 

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk

slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and

rubbing.

 

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a

hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

 

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

 

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

 

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft

breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

 

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck.

Do you have any scissors?

 

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back

undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my

breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

 

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting

the clasp.

 

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your

tongue all over me.

 

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,

breasts. They're neat!

 

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm

nibbling your ear.

 

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and

phlegm.

 

Sweetheart: What?

 

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

 

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains

of my blouse.

 

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with

a plop.

 

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your

hard tool.

 

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

 

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

 

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in

and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

 

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

 

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

 

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

 

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

 

Sweetheart: Can I help?

 

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling

through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

 

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

 

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

 

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

 

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

 

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

 

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet.

And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost.

Where's the bedroom?

 

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

 

Wellhung: I found it.

 

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so

badly.

 

Wellhung: Me too.

 

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked

bodies pressing each other.

 

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

 

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

 

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the

glasses on the night table.

 

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

 

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the

room and toward the bathroom.

 

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

 

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for

the toilet. I lift the lid.

 

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

 

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle,

but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

 

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

 

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry

again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

 

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

 

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in

your...you know...woman's thing.

 

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

 

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your

neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

 

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't

stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

 

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

 

Sweetheart: What?

 

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

 

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look

on my face.

 

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all

floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

 

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my

underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

 

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table.

I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture

frames and your candles.

 

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

 

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One

of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing

at it, a shocked look on my face.

 

 

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

 

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

 

Sweetheart: { [logged off]

Link to post
Share on other sites

I found the page that all these were lifted from a while ago and was looking through a lot of the ones that IF didn't try claiming and some of them were seriously fucked up.

 

I'm talking parapylgic catheter sex shit.

 

Site was called "Baiting" or something and there's like hundreds of different logs, apparently the game is to have your name be something female and underage, like Candy15, and wait for someone to message you. The trick is you can't message them. And you have to make them really get into it and then WHAM, you tell them you have a cock. That's pretty much how all of them ended.

 

But yeah, dude, way to totally steal other people's pranks. It's like saying you did that Revok piece hanging over the highway.

Link to post
Share on other sites
Originally posted by fermentor666@Mar 10 2005, 12:06 AM

But yeah, dude, way to totally steal other people's pranks.

 

Claiming this? I found this on a site today about wet my pants and

saw it wasn't posted here so...

 

chill here is another one

 

 

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can

keep it ready for you.

 

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

 

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

 

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

 

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the

neck.

 

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you

that you are in my breeding territory.

 

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

 

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

 

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

 

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

 

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your

ass.

 

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

 

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about

to charge your ass.

 

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned

feet.

 

j_gurli3: thats it.

 

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some

phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls

collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll

suspended in the air on my mightyhorn.

 

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't know if these have been posted, i haven't looked at all of the thread.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bloodninja: Wanna cyber?

MommyMelissa: Sure, you into vegetables?

Bloodninja: What like gardening an shit?

MommyMelissa: Yeah, something like that.

Bloodninja: Nuthin turns me on more, check this out

Bloodninja: You bend over to harvest your radishes.

(pause)

MommyMelissa: is that it?

Bloodninja: You water your tomato patch.

Bloodninja: Are you ready for my fresh produce?

MommyMelissa: I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?

(pause)

Bloodninja: I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.

Bloodninja: I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.

MommyMelissa: Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.

Bloodninja: my zucchinis carresses your carrots.

Bloodninja: Damn baby your right, this shit is HOT.

MommyMelissa: ...

Bloodninja: My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.

MommyMelissa: What the fuck is this madlibs? I'm outta here.

Bloodninja: Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. Bitch.

MommyMelissa: whatever.

 

-------------------------

 

sweet17: Hi

Bloodninja: hello

Bloodninja: who is this?

sweet17: just a someone?

Bloodninja: A someone I know?

sweet17: nope

Bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?

sweet17: well sorrrrrry

sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you

Bloodninja: why?

sweet17: nevermind your an jerk

Bloodninja: Hey wait a minute

sweet17: yes?

Bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid

sweet17: paranoid?

Bloodninja: yes

sweet17: of what?

sweet17: me?

Bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.

sweet17: LOL

Bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me!

Bloodninja: This shit is serious!

sweet17: What are you hiding from?

Bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: gimme a fucking break

Bloodninja: I'm serious.

sweet17: I don't get it

Bloodninja: The cops are after me.

sweet17: For what?

Bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states

sweet17: For???

Bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.

Bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.

Bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You are fucking siack.

Bloodninja: Send me your picture.

sweet17: why?

Bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.

sweet17: One of what?

Bloodninja: The cops.

sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you

Bloodninja: Then send me your picture.

sweet17: hold on

Bloodninja: Hurry up.

Bloodninja: Are you there?

Bloodninja: -.-, cop!

sweet17: Hey sorry

sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.

Bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.

Bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.

Bloodninja: Weren't you!?

sweet17: thats not it

Bloodninja: Then what?

sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty

Bloodninja: Most cops aren't

sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU ASSHOLE!

Bloodninja: Then send me the picture.

sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?

Bloodninja: Just send it through here.

sweet17: alright *PIC*

sweet17: Did you get it?

Bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.

sweet17: That was me back in may

sweet17: I've lost weight since then.

Bloodninja: I hope so

sweet17: what?!?

sweet17: that hurt my feelings.

Bloodninja: Did it?

sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.

Bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?

sweet17: yes

Bloodninja: Alright let me find it.

sweet17: kks

Bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*

sweet17: this isn't you.

Bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!

sweet17: You don't look like that.

Bloodninja: How the hell do you know?

sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.

Bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.

Bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.

sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol

Bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....

Bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.

sweet17: Go -.-rself

Bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture

Bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.

sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.

sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.

sweet17: you hurt me.

Bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?

sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!

Bloodninja: Why would I do that?

sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you

Bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..

sweet17: -.-!!!

Bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.

sweet17: You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE!

sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight

sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me

Bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.

sweet17: No you aren't

Bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.

Bloodninja: HAARRRRR!

sweet17: I'm done with you

Bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.

sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore

Bloodninja: Wait a sec

Bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.

Bloodninja: Wanna start over?

sweet17: No

Bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty

sweet17: You'll what?

Bloodninja: You heard me.

Bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.

sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture

Bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?

sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes

Bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.

Bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.

sweet17: Like what?

Bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?

sweet17: I don't know

Bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.

sweet17: I'm afraid to

Bloodninja: Why?

sweet17: cause

Bloodninja: cause why?

sweet17: well lets see

sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out

sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?

Bloodninja: Nope

sweet17: well its strange to me

Bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to

sweet17: I didn't say that

Bloodninja: So is that a yes?

sweet17: I guess so.

Bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.

Bloodninja: Are you willing?

sweet17: What do you need me to do?

Bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.

sweet17: ???

Bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"

Bloodninja: ok?

Bloodninja: Hello?

sweet17: You can't be serious

Bloodninja: Oh yes I am!

Bloodninja: It's my fantasy.

sweet17: this is retarded

Bloodninja: Do you want it or not?

sweet17: Yes I want it.

Bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?

sweet17: sure

Bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.

Bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.

Bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them

Bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.

Bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth vagina.

sweet17: mmmm yeah

Bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.

sweet17: Har

Bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!

Bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.

sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR

Bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.

Bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.

Bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.

Bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.

sweet17: mmmmmm you are good

Bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I suckharder

Bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: HARRRRRRR

Bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.

Bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.

Bloodninja: going limp

sweet17: this is stupid

Bloodninja: ...still limp

Bloodninja: Do it!

sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR

Bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.

Bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.

Bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.

sweet17: WTF?!?!?

Bloodninja: They stink really bad.

sweet17: OMG STOP!!!

Bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass

Bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.

Bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.

sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!

Bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.

Bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...

Bloodninja: I kick you in the face!

sweet17: -.- ASSHOLE!!

Bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...

Bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.

Bloodninja: ...going limp again.

Bloodninja: Hello?

Bloodninja: Say it!

Bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

 

 

------------------------

 

 

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 280 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

 

 

-------------------------

 

I.F.: My shit is hard you ready to jump aboard?

1hOttYeVe: oh yhea im so wet right now

I.F.: Why you just shower?

1hOttYeVe: no im wet for you

I.F.: Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator shit you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it.

1hOttYeVe: What the fuck are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?

I.F.: I do! Sorry...I just didnt know why you were wet...then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on you...

I.F.: Im sorry lets continue!

1hOttYeVe: alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest

I.F.: I pop like 16 boners

1hOttYeVe: what the fuck!

I.F.: what?

 

------------------------

 

Partner6: So you're really a 18 yr old girl right?

J-Dogg: Yeah, J for Julie.

Partner6: So whats with the "Dogg"

J-Dogg: Uh, It's cause I'm into the latina gangs and shit. You know, rollin with the homies and shit.

Partner6: Oh, uh ok thats cool. So you ever seen a gun?

J-Dogg: Yeah like I got 6 guns.

Partner6: Thats cool, so you wanna see my gun?

J-Dogg: hehe, of course baby.

Partner6: I pull off my pants and show you my "gun".

J-Dogg: Ohh, it's so big.

Partner6: Yeah, what you want to do?

J-Dogg: Umm, i guess stroke it or something.

Partner6: It likes that.

J-Dogg: aight.

Partner6: Keep talking to me baby...

J-Dogg: I kiss you on the mouth, hard, but then gently.

Partner6: Mmmm, daddy like.

J-Dogg: I unzip my pants...

Partner6: Yes, show me what you got.

J-Dogg: I pull out my schlong, and rub it on your breasts...

Partner6: WTF?!

J-Dogg: Oh shit, I meant, your schlong! your schlong!

Partner6: I've had it with you queers trying to cyber me, I only fuck women...

J-Dogg: Shit just don't shoot me man, I wasn't serious about the guns I have, I'm unarmed!

Partner6: You dipshit.

J-Dogg: I whimper to myself...

J-Dogg: please don't shoot me Mr.

 

 

-------------------------

 

 

J-Dogg: I see you in line at the supermarket. Our eyes meet.

Partner8: Who the fuck are you?

J-Dogg: I mouth the words to you, as if in slow motion:

J-Dogg: Fuck me, Fuck me.

J-Dogg: My wishes are like poetry in your eyes. We want this moment to last forever.

Partner8: OMFG are you trying to cyber me?

J-Dogg: We are like two dancers, for whom the music never stops. I Kiss the top of your hand. You are taken aback by the bulge that forms in your thigh.

Partner8: Is that like cancer?

J-Dogg: If cancer is our love, then I hope you don't have the technology of chemotherapy.

Partner8: Good one romeo.

J-Dogg: You grab the bulge that you feel. you tihink it must be taking over your mind, theres nothing else you can think of. My tubesteak to you is like a beautiful japanese haiku.

 

The salmon swim at night.

Towards your room.

The snow and the moon.

 

Partner8: that was never a haiku.

J-Dogg: To your light bulb I am the Thomas Edison of your sex. Withought my light you would be lost in a sea of darkness.

Partner8: That made even less sense than your "haiku"

J-Dogg: So you ready to fuck then?

Partner8: You unbutton my pants, spew your load at the sight of my underwear, and your spent.

J-Dogg: ...

Partner8: ?

J-Dogg: I'm spent.

 

---------------------------------

 

Jdogg: Hey

QT-Pie: Hey

Jdogg: whats goin on

QT-Pie: Nothing. Who are you?

Jdogg: Jdogg. Wanna cyber?

QT-Pie: what does that mean?

Jdogg: what are you wearing?

QT-Pie: T-shirt. Jeans.

Jdogg: Garter belt?

QT-Pie: Ummm...no.

Jdogg: Are we gonna cyber or not?

QT-Pie: uh, okay.

Jdogg: Sweet, I start by rubbing your ass all around. You love this.

Jdogg: You're wet already. I can smell your pussay stink from here.

QT-Pie: WHAT?!

Jdogg: I execute standing position 12 from the Kama Sutra. Passion fills the room. Your head is close to the ceiling fan.

Jdogg: You leave everything to Jdogg.

Jdogg: I am completely inside of you. You are my dick puppet. I put on a little play.

QT-Pie: This is weird. I should go.

Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.

QT-Pie: A stripe?

Jdogg: I need a sandwich.

QT-Pie: You're a freak.

Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.

---------------------------------

 

 

 

 

:haha: :haha: :haha:

Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


×
×
  • Create New...