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so, it turns out ive got SARS and only have 24 hours to live.


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so i thought it was just a normal cold or something, but according to beardo thats totally not the case at all. as far as he is concerned, i've got SARS and it is FATAL!

 

since i am about to die, id like to leave a few words to my fellow board memebrs. please only read the one that applies to you. i dont want anyone getting jealous, or mad if they find out i told someone else the same thing...

 

browner: its been nice agreeing with you lately. keep fighting the good fight.

wink: i know you havent been around in like 2 and a half years, but yo, good lookin out on those shorts! im sorry me, abysmal and raven pranked you and said i was joker. i was drunk and they talked me into it. one love girl.

botchlism104-134: you wanna know what hardt is? hardt is dying from SARS, your a bitch. drown in this dick.

you enjoy myself: 'under pressure' will never be the same without me... you're gona have to pick up the slack man! do the drugs and write on the walls! i got faith in you man! do it for me!

fight club: girl, thank you for making me the envy of everyone that has ever met you. your ass was phenominal and i got to have it smashed up against me as i tried my darndest to put your head through the wall. you're not on 12oz or anything, i just wanted to brag some more about sleeping with you. not that im just bragging, i would have wifed yuo, but it wasnt in the cards...on tuesdays and thursdays, when i get the 'air canada, websaver' emails, i get teary think about what might have been. hope too see you in the next lifetime...

bigmetalcircus:even on my death bed, i still cant believe you're not black. wtf?

mr.horse: you summed shit up perfectly man... SARS? "no sir, i dont like it". say word.

christpuncheroner: long time no see homie, whats the happs? you need to come through an shake fools up. no one does it like you baby 'please believe it'.

mentalinvalid: i just wnat you to know man... ive never once read any of your horoscope threds, and i wont front, your girl is fly and an i kinda wished i could have slept with her. but i wouldnt, an your the homie.

krie: i dont kknow the first fucking thing about you. i've never read a single word youve said and i only know you exist cause ionce had to edit a thread you were in. big ups for whatever it is you do!!

my mom: mom, if you see this, dont worry about the financial aid shit. at this point its kind of moot. you will still have to file for bankruptcy for me though, otherwise its just gonna get passed on to you. they sure as fuck cant make me pay now, fuck em.

deliss: i have no idea wht you look like, but just in case you're fly... ive got about 23 and half hours left... if you happen to be in the greater georgian area, hit me up, we should fuck maybe. send me a pic an if im still alive, ill hit you up on aim. holler!

 

ok, um, i think thats it. im gonna go die now.

word.

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Guest imported_Tesseract

dude...you were suposed to die last year according to beardo i think...beardo would make a lousy doctor..

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http://www.bogwomen.com/TheStar/Issue3/images/spud1.jpg'>

 

Waddup. Welcome to my pad... there's Natty Ice in the fridge and ramen in the pantry. Feel free to make yourself at home.

 

I recommend you profess your undying love and trust in me at some point before you die, if you wanna be saved. Otherwise you're sleeping on the couch with the dog*. Enjoy your last hours and bang a broad for me.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*and you don't want that, cause motherfucker shits everywhere.

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oh man... SARS.

 

I saw a minivan filled with old asian duds this morning

and they were ALL wearing those face masks. I had to

pick someone up at the airport yesterday and it was a

ghost town. Well except for all those paronoids in masks.

I met up with this girl in Chinatown last week and it was

so empty I wished I had brought paint an a ladder.

 

I had an ear ache last week. blame sars.

I've been having beer shits all day. blame sars.

oh fuck.. time for more beer shitting... CURSED SARS!

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another one bites the dust.

 

 

ive had that before. put some toothpaste on the infected areas.

 

if it gets red and itchy douse it with baking soda and pour vinegar on it

 

 

if it gets any redder or puss filled duct tape it or crazy glue it.

 

 

im sure itll be fine.

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Damn dog.... all this doom and gloom. Apocalyptic visions, underground bunkers and duct tape....

Well I got some good (?) news, SARS is rarely fatal. You could make some nanobot SARS hunters. If you do let me borrow em would ya?

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Originally posted by Smart

maybe 'promoted' was a poor choice for a word...

 

yeah, you think?

 

Anyway, I'm fucking sick as hell, and I live in SARS central here. Dammit, I promised this guy I'd hit up this wall with him tonight, so I gotta wait for his ass to wake up in two hours, while here I am, almost dying.

 

But you don't hear me complaining because of my rugged Canadian character.:P

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