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12oz embarassing moments megathread

fr8lover

By fr8lover
in Channel Zero

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penmanship

penmanship

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Washing Balls:

 

The cabin we live at is at the bottom of a two kilometre run, with a 30 degree slope to it for the majority. It's not too bad of a walk in the sumer, unless it's really hot. Brian's bragged about being some hiking extrodinaire, but I've yet to see him not completely rooted from walking down the hill, let alone up. So he walks up all the time in the summer, and I was talking to one of the gardeners from the summer time who said he would always stop in the gardeners hut before taking the tram down to the buses and clean up (wash his face and arms and stuff from sweat).

 

One time he thought nobody was in so he decides to take his pants and boxers off, and wash his balls in their sink, because apparently that was an extreme necessity for some reason. So he's standing there with his pants off and one foot up on the counter splashing water on his crotch when she walks in, and he just keeps going at it, pretending he didn't see her, or he didn't see her, until she coughs, and he turns around and acknowledges that she's there. fucking embarassing

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penmanship

penmanship

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Shower:

 

He, as I've said multiple times in this thread, smells like garbage. Doesn't shower, and competes with his singer buddy, who lives in his moms basement for who can have the stinkiest feet. He's told multiple stories of people changing seats on the bus because of his stench, and when on the seabus, he got his own little corner of fifteen or so seats as a buffer (on the seabus you're lucky to not get a person on one side of you)

 

Disclaimer: he told us about this.

 

So he's complaining how bad he smells, or bragging, and decides it's time to shower for the first time in seven days or so.(we work twelve hours shifts, in full snow gear so you either sweat at points or get wet from the guns) so every shift you start smelling by the end at least a bit, especially if you're like him and don't shower/wear deodorant/wash your clothes.

 

So the other day the showers completely frozen from the cold snap we got of -20 from -2 in a day, that lasted five days. So he turns on the hot water, and tries to splash the scalding hot water on himself, getting minor burns while doing so. Eventually the cold water, which is running beside the hot water pipe lets go and ice cold water over takes the pressure of the scalding hot and he get's blasted with the cold water. he gives up, doesn't have a shower, and continues to smell like shit.

 

when I got into the lunchroom for shift change, every person who came in complained that the garbage needed to be changed, but the garbage was empty, and it was 100% his stench.

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penmanship

penmanship

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The Rock:

 

So I think I told you guys about the rock he painted, for the chick he's stalking, that had 4u painted on it, implying he's a rock for her.

 

So it's a pretty decent sized rock, not a pebble or anything, like a basketball sized in diameter, flat rock.

 

he's been complaining about having now money, being 20 000 in debt and all this bullshit, and went out and bought this chick, some fancy gloves, at least 70 bucks, a really nice northface jacket/windbreaker thing that was 100+ and some other shit, at least a couple hundred in total, for a girl he's gone hiking with once two months ago.

 

She does the grind, which is a hiking trail that you can compete for best times and shit on the mountain with timers and stuff, and he found out that she was going to be doing the grind three days ago. He went to the base and waited for her, and she didn't show, so he went and got a couple groceries. When he gets back he goes through all the bags, to see if hers is there, and it is. So he just leaves his milk and stuff in the lunchroom, getting warm, and waits for her to come down, It could have been up to an hour and a half depending on when she got there, hour hike up, ten minutes at the coffee bar waiting for the tram, 15 minute tram ride down.

 

he decides to open up her bag and put all these gifts into it and wait in the shadows or some shit and watch her open her bag and be surprised by all this fancy stuff. she's all confused, see's him and asks how long he's been waiting, and how he knew she was there, he says he happened to see her bag, and left some things for her, and wanted to see her reaction.

 

THEN HE PULLS OUT THE ROCK. fucking hands this massive 10 pound rock painted black with 4u in white on it to her. and she just takes it turns around and walks away.

 

I'm not sure why he keeps telling us these things, it's like he's got no ability to comprehend how awkward and embarassing everything he's doing for her is.

 

he's also just bought some more equipment, like a second mummy sleeping bag for -40, an avalanche shovel, and some other gloves or something to dig a snow cave so they can sleep out on the mountain somewhere. He told her he's done it hundreds of times, and we caught him watching how to dig snow caves video on youtube at work the other night. they're going to get covered in snow if somehow he gets her to go along, because he'll make it teribly and it will definetly collapse on them.

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Realism

Realism

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He told her he's done it hundreds of times, and we caught him watching how to dig snow caves video on youtube at work the other night. they're going to get covered in snow if somehow he gets her to go along, because he'll make it teribly and it will definetly collapse on them.

 

Tragedy Claims Lives of Two Climbers; Avalanche Suspected

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Realism

Realism

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That dude pretty much has taken over this thread...watching him live his life is probably like that sinking feeling you get when you realize you've forgotten to do something incredibly important...all the time.

 

Honestly though, hearing what he does makes ME feel embarrassed, it's like he has it down to an art.

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Lewis and Clark

Lewis and Clark

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i wonder what her true reaction was like.

i'd imagine that he's sugar-coating a bit - i mean, dudes hiding in the bushes, she sees him then proceeds to take the gifts and 'walk' away with them. ?

 

i'd imagine she yelled, screamed, threw the rock and ran away.

 

penmanship, we need her opinion on all this too, get everyone who knows the guy together to make fun of him and share it with us.

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penmanship

penmanship

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haha. I'm trying to figure out her last name. so I can google the shit out of her, as I'm sure brians tried to do, but i'll be successful, find her facebook and we can all finally see her. keep in mind, he's told all this to us, and thinks things are going well. like when he went with the flowers to the hospital and waited, after she told him to fuck off, he finishes his story with, but things ended well. we're still all good. I'M STILL HER ROCK.

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a_fiend

a_fiend

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its 2010, and if youre not showering at least once a day

youre doing it wrong.

 

i shave shower and brush my teeth once a week, no soap,no shampoo, no shaving cream no deoderant.after a long night out i am usually the only one who doesnt stink, my teeth are good ive never needed dental work, no bad breath, and my hair is silky smooth. im pretty sure im doing it right

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