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favorite beverages


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name all of ur favorites(alcoholic/non-alcoholic)...


mine are...


1. Turners Iced Tea(dunno how many of u've heard of it but it's made rite down the street from me)


2. Pepsi


3. Bacardi Limon


4. Gatorade Freeze Arctic Blast


thass all i can think of...



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Guest uncle-boy


long island ice tea

breandy and coke

capt morgans and coke

southern comfort and coke



hot chocolate with coffee in it.

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beer (corona /sol) exicas good though i live in england



coffee anything which makes me happy or awake will do


plus i need cigarettes yes i do from the age of 14 yep but is it true you cant buy them in ny any more

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In olden days - before TV and useless liberal arts degrees - losers had only one place to turn for their fortunes: deranged old women who sat over chasms of intoxicating natural gasses and babbled incoherently for hours on end. They were called Oracles, and people interpreted their mumblings as predictions. Why am I bringing this up? Because I've been hitting the whipped cream cans a little hard this month and I have something REALLY important to tell you. Unfortunately, I forgot it after the seizures. So just be careful.

(mar 21 - apr 19)


After eating what appears to be a normal mushroom, you will find yourself in the midst of a violent allergic reaction, swelling to immense proportions and hallucinating an eerie world of fire-breathing houseplants. Your only companion will be the make-believe princess Seka, who is so breathtakingly beautiful that she's become totally stuck-up - and won't even comfort you during this time of crisis. What a total bitch!



(april 20 - may 20)


You'll be thrown into a fit of nostalgia on Friday as the moon switches positions and you find yourself in an abandoned parking lot, waiting to be picked up by a truckload of randy wrestlers. Why? This I cannot say. I know only that you'll nervously pace back and forth, chain-smoking Marlboro Lights - because you suffer from an eating disorder brought on by that bitch Andrea who said you were too fat to wear Esprit shorts. Well you showed her. Showed her good.



(may 21 - june 21)


This month finds you manically buying wireless spy cameras and American flags. Yes, it seems the geniuses behind those annoying web ads have finally found a sucker who buys: YOU! No big surprise there, what with your closets overflowing with Flowbees, knife sets, hair-in-a-can, and the complete AM Gold collection. Sure, you'll be broke soon, but you'll also be able to patriotically spy on your flabby neighbors getting naked!



(june 22 - july 22)


Last month, anything and everything made you cry at the drop of a hat: "Enterprise" episodes, Weather Channel commercials, spilled milk, dead kittens. This month, as eruptions continue on the 4th moon of Jupiter, you should expect pretty much more of the same. So stay away from large quantities of alcohol, Julia Roberts movies, and people in general. Hole up in your dirty house, stop bathing, and write crappy poetry. It suits you.



(july 23 - august 22)


You've been worrying that you're going to gain weight during the upcoming barbecue season, and with good reason, since you have NO self-control when surrounded by bowls of Doritos and platters of Snoballs. Besides, your current comfort food diet of dark chocolate and mashed potatoes has you on course to tip the scales at 200 by May 1st. What to do? Try old-fashioned diet tips like funneling water, smoking heavily, and feasting on laxatives!



(august 23 - september 22)


For an obsessive-compulsive twit, you've become a slothful glutton. This month, you'll have the opportunity to pull yourself out of your funk. No more twisting on your donut-powder-dusted couch like a fat maggot rutting in a dead beaver's gut. This is because Destiny will stop by and give you another chance at making something of your life. So wash your face, and for God's sake, fish the dead flies out of your belly button.



(september 23 - october 23)


You will encounter a rabid miniature poodle this month while strolling in the park. The foamy little piece of fuzz will viciously attack you, transmitting its terminal neurological disease into your very own bloodstream! Thing is, you're too chicken to get the painful shots to cure it, so you'll have to learn to live with the humiliation of being an adult with rabies. So go buy a bib. Nobody wants to look at your drool-spattered Wal-Mart blouse.



(october 24 - november 21)


You spent most of the winter hoping things wouldn't get worse. But lo and behold, they did. So now you cry yourself to sleep every night, and read tips on MSN on how to confront and conquer depression. They tell you to see a doctor, but you're not one of those sissy types. I mean, there isn't a disease on earth you couldn't cure yourself with a pair of scissors, some hot glue, an open flame, and 3 pounds of opium.



(november 22 - december 21)


Nobody likes a guy who has all the answers. So maybe the next time you strike up a conversation at work, you should talk about the weather or what was on NBC the night before. That's right, the secretarial pool isn't interested in your brilliant theories on how vitamins are part of the government's mind control scheme, or that time you ate dinner with the Dick Van Patten in your parents' backyard. So yeah, shut the hell up already!



(december 22 - january 19)


As Saturn moves into the third house, you will rediscover the joys of being a child. You'll revel in the simple pleasures of innocence, and your overwhelming desire to kick puppies and dip candy canes in cyanide will subside. And although Mommy won't stop what she's doing to clean you up, you'll still be able to throw your doodies at the wall without a shred of guilt.



(january 20 - february 18)


You've been considering leaving home in search of distant lands and new adventures. As Neptune moves into your 5th house, all plans will become diminished as a tragedy unfolds around you. Unfortunately it won't be one of those things that teach you a life lesson, nor will it be quick and painful. More likely than not, it'll just be some rift in mutual friends that makes planning parties more difficult. Or maybe your childhood companion, Mr. Bubbleface, will die.



(february 19 - march 20)


The imminent possibility of World War III has you virtually crippled by anxiety. This month, you will meet a group of new friends who call themselves the Happy Luck Shiny Fish Monkey Stars. Their words will give you comfort, and their yummy snack pills will help you fall asleep lickety-split! Best of all, not only does everyone in HLSFMS gets a giant velour jumpsuit embroidered with their own monogram, but the orgies are top notch! Hooray for you!

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