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Guest BROWNer

yipes, i can imagine the pain. i've got a molar thats rotting

away and it keeps sending shooting pains down the middle

of the tooth and into my gums..good thing i have coverage.

next week its getting spanked.

face pain is definitely brutal. last year i was riding my bike

on the wrong side of the road on the sidewalk, hauling serious ass, looking

across the street at tags when at the last second i turned to

see a leaning tree trunk straight in front of my face...it closelined me right off my bike..i rolled around on the ground for probly 15 minutes trying

to control the feeling that i would shit myself, piss my pants

and barf all at the same time. way to ill.

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Guest WebsterUno

just grab a bottle of humprys,

and pour em all in your mouth.

Gank a few bottles, its for babies

teeth when they grow out, but

the numbing rivals that of coke

on the gums...

or just snort a Tony Montana size

mountain of coke, that should do the trick!

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Guest imported_El Mamerro
Originally posted by Kilo7-

the worst pain a man can feel is an estrangulated testicle.

 

That's when it gets twisted inside the sack and the circulation gets cut off.

Apparently it's the only pain worse than giving birth. It happened my friends older brother.

He got rushed to the hospital immediately and had an operation in 20 minutes.

They say that almost every man passes out from the pain.

 

forget face pain, groin pain! ouch!

 

Haha, that happened to my brother's good friend while they were out fishing for on the south of PR... imagine having that happen to you 15 miles offshore on a 125-HP boat. It was a good 2 and a half hours before they could get him to a hospital, he was close to getting his nut ruined... says the pain was so horrible that he doesn't remember much of the ordeal... he drifted in and out of consciousness on the way back. Beer,

 

El Mamerro

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Guest PHYNE

most dentists will take payments or set up a payment type plan,most of the time you dont even have to pay right on the spot.....for pain i recomend going to the er and getting pills,its the only thing that will help the pain,beleive me i have enuff tooth probllems...but majority of the dentists ive been to or called set up payment shit so dont feel like your going to have to run away when theyre done with your tooth....and damn the front canine toothseems like it would be VERY painful..its up front!! haha man go get some drugs man...then drink..you wont remeber anything......:nut: :scream: :nut:

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Originally posted by Kilo7-

the worst pain a man can feel is an estrangulated testicle.

 

That's when it gets twisted inside the sack and the circulation gets cut off.

Apparently it's the only pain worse than giving birth. It happened my friends older brother.

He got rushed to the hospital immediately and had an operation in 20 minutes.

They say that almost every man passes out from the pain.

 

forget face pain, groin pain! ouch!

 

Ahahahaha....that happened to my brother. Painful yes, but hilarious all the same!

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dude, i know what pain is, i shattered my femur, multiples...like 5 places...i have two pieces of metal in my leg now....i ran from that bill so fast...17k, ha ha i can't afford that. i paid the hospital about 2 grand and ditched...my teeth suck, too

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Guest sneak

i cant believe you pulled it out yourself!! nuttah...

 

the worst pain ive ever had was when i ran into and then through a plate glass window.

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the following story will encompass several nearly unrelated parts and be written to the tune of 'three summers strong' by hot water music. it will also be done while fucked up on darvacet. lets begin.

 

yesterday, after the whole early morning self extraction debacle, i decided to call on the professionals. since im fairly new in the city im living in, and apparently no one i know here has ever been to the dentist in their life, so they couldnt refer me to one, i grabbed for the yellow pages.

chiropractor, cremation, dairies, delivery... there it is, 'dentists', and there on the very first page of the den- listings, was a big ass full page add, 3 colors, bright and bold. take a look at the address, hot damn, i can walk there! we've got a winner. a phone call later and i had an appointment set for today at 3pm.

before i go any further, i've got to admit to something. i didn't pick this dentist just because they had a big ad and were near by, i also picked it, in part, because i knew it was in a somewhat' bad' part of town, and were probably used to people without insurance, and without an extra 500 bucks to invest in their teeth (unless those teeth are gold and engraved with some cartoonish nickname like snoopy, re-re or ice chest of course.)

so i spent the rest of the day watching my right cheek balloon, until it began to swell my eye shut, at which point i watched it with an incredibly hindered sense of depth perception. it did not look pretty. In fact, i would go so far as to say that from the starboard side, i looked quite a bit like Rocky Dennis from 'mask,' and since i grew up in a household of alcoholics and wayward motorcycle gangs, it was also fairly fitting. (ed. note - i did not grow up around any such people.) to make things all the worse, i was also to be visited that day by a 'friend' from out of town. not the sort of first impression one would hope to make.

"feel this cotton, this is what blue feels like. now feel this hot rock, this is red... feel my face, i'm a modern day Joseph ?John? Merrick."

so i waited out the night, ate an ass load of Advil, ate some soup (which did nothing for me) then eventually found my way to denny?s, where i had some eggs and french toast while listening to these three 20something, sexually frustrated, bespectacled, goateed and pony tailed retards, talking about the power their new shield would give them over the evil lord of quiznos or some stupid shit. god, they were fucking annoying. the 'waiter,' clearly unaware of the powers held in their majical 20 sided dice, charged one of the fellows, i think his name was gorgon from the tribe of double tall elves, for an extra piece of toast. this angered gorgon the merciless, who countered the move by stating 'well, unfortunately, this is going to have to come out of your tip.'

bold move ass wipe.

how about you roll a 20 sided shut the fuck up and let me eat my eggs you worthless shit. blah.

so i finished my meal, was annoyed in my own right, for denny's inability to accommodate my vegetarian lifestyle, by giving me toast instead of the supplied menagerie of dead pig skin. one fucking piece of toast is all i wanted. god. now that i think about it, GTM was right, fuck that waiter. fuck him right in his work release, midnight shift ass.

enough.

fast forward an hour and a half and i?m lying on my bed with my out of state 'friend,' watching the greatest movie ever made (gummo) and listening to my room mates shouting back and forth through the house to one another. seems they thought it would be a wicked sweet idea to try and 'embarrass' me and said 'friend' by cracking my door open and throwing porn at us. they didn?t think it was so funny when i countered their attempts to 'wet' me with a squirt gun, with the business end of a 40 caliber handgun barreling (no pun intended) down on them. That?s right. we'll see who's got the juice now, ya'll bitches!

2 more hours of constant camp sleep-away like chiding, and all of a sudden there?s something banging at my second story window. what the fuck? pull up the shades to find my two room mates standing in the front yard with a long stick, festooned at the end with a condom. apparently they were worried about my safety. apparently they were also worried about their own, as along with their spartan choice of simply boxers and tennis shoes, they also donned helmets (fireman and star wars pod racer respectively) and sunglasses. bold move fellas. i dumped a whole 2 liter of ginger ale on them, took the condom and the accompanying pictures. thanks guys. no, i mean it. so that went on ffor another hour or so, until finally they either laughed themselves to sleep or temporarily died of their own stupidity. either way, they shut up, me and the friend hung out until we were greeted by dawn, and finally i went to sleep. the end.

just kidding.

 

so today i wake up intermittently, and eat some advil, then pass back out. finally i wake up 'for real' at about 1pm to find out our water has been shut off for lack of payment. if you're keeping tabs, our cable was shut off last week, our gas was shut off in January and our phones been off since November. we're doing real good. the city even confiscated our garbage can for lack of 'refuse' payment. much like dennys, fuck ya?ll bitches.

2:30 rolls around and i head down to the dentist. as i walk into the parking lot, im surprised to find the mammoth Xanadu of a dental palace i had imagined, was really just a small, well maintained structure that at one time may have served as a gas station or perhaps B-B-Q joint. there was no one smoking blunts on the steps or drinking 40's. damn. these people get paid for their services... what the fuck am i supposed to do now?

i walk in to find that im the only white person within shooting distance of the place. not an issue, but noteworthy as it seldom happens in our largely Caucasoid society. this reminds me of another story. one time, years ago while living in Oakland (and having insurance), i went to visit my new doctor. dr. Phong Yenh. he was Vietnamese. no one could understand why the fuck i was there. it wasn?t a language issue, they all spoke some form of broken english, it was simply that i was there. apparently i was the first white patient they'd ever had or something. odd. he gave me some antibiotics and i guess i was cured. but yo, there was also this other time when i had an apartment with 5 nation of islam muslims. some how they neglected to notice my lack of melanin. either that, or their credit was worse than mine and they needed me as their spokesperson. whatever. we had the apartment for two days before getting evicted. apparently they didnt looks spooks and wiggers. fuck em. enough of that nonsense.

so i sit in the waiting room, listening to DMX, admiring the neatly organized selection of magazines covering a large glass and marble table in the middle of the room. what? it wasn?t black and gold lacquer? hell no. High society like what.

so eventually im greeted by 'Joe' a black fella in his mid 20's who i thought was my dentist, but was just an assistant, which i found to be slightly weird. I?m no stranger to dentists offices, or black people, but ive yet to come across a black male dental assistant. which again, isnt an issue, just noteworthy. so Joe takes an x-ray, and tells me the dentist will be in to see me in a few. a 'few' passes and in she walks. ive never had a female dentist before, nor one that looked like Star Jones, but since today was all about firsts, fuck it, go with it ya know. so she takes a look at my tooth for 30 seconds, tells me i need a root canal and that she'll be on vacation for a week. sweet. im into this pain thing. its getting my dick hard. i fucking love it.

oh wait, no i dont.

so she gives me a prescription for the aforementioned darvacet, some antibiotics and sends me on my way.

which brings us up to the present.

i still look like the scripted child of Cher and Samuel Elliot and the darvacet, while serving to make me a bit loopy, isnt really countering the pain with the zeal i had hoped for. perhaps i should take another. and then another. and then another.

or maybe ill just take a nap.

whatever.

my mouth fucking hurts and that?s all their is to it.

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