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Guest sneak

serious help is needed and will be appreciated

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Guest sneak

befor i start, i would like to ask the pointless reply posters to stay out of this thread...

 

im having the worst fucking time possoble at home right now, i seriously need some advice on how to controll the urges to leave home / sort my mother out.

 

the situation between the two of us is disgracefull. we are always fighting / argueing and i really, really need to find out a way to sort this all out.

 

i would go and stay with my older brother, but he is at uni and im in the middle of important exams. cant move out cos im not old enough - mentally or physically able to support myself either.

 

i dont know how to deal with the bitch. ive tried not talking to her, not being around (she called the police when i stormed out after the last fight). nothing i do seems to be good enough

 

i was hoping that heads like zest, kabar, europe and all the other sensible heads on here could drop some advice / stories of their own..

 

peace. sneak

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It depends on what your conditions are in order to make any good point. I have a lot of friends with problems at home most of the time its thier fault for not being responsible and dissrespecting their parents, but if your mom really is a bitch then try to find a low-rent apartment and split the rent with a friend:o

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sneak, trust me, it will pass. if it takes until after school and maybe even until you get out of the house and get a job, you and moms will be okay. patience is essential from 14 to 18, "high school" for some. if you don't figure out a way to remain calm you'll just end up getting arrested, and it's hard to release someone from jail to home when they were just arrested thier, so you usually stay up to three days. which ain't shit. well, thats america. are you over 18?...

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ride it out... i've ended up homeless because i didn't wanna deal with shit at home... being homeless sucks...

finish school, get out when you can, in the end you'll be a better person for it... half of life is putting up with everyone else's shit... it sucks, but it's the truth...

and if there's even a possibilty of getting on better terms with your mom you probably stand a better chance of doing it when you still see her on a regular basis...

and if it gets to be too much, take a break... stay with friends for a few days (after your tests are done...)... last summer turned into a break from my family... 3 1/2 months of being homeless, 2 of them out of the state, and when i got back, things were still shitty at home, but they were different...

and the fact of the matter is, if were not living at home there'd be no way i could be going to school, or at least not as much as i am...

ride it out, it'll be werth it in the end...

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^^^good advice, i had a friend that became kinda homeless cuz he was lazy and didnt want to deal with his parents but i made him do shit when he kicked it at my place and the fool went back home:)

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It might be wise to actually sit down and talk to her. Sit down, keep a calm head and show her you want to sort out a reasonable solution to all of this. Discuss what exactly her problems are with you and why you think she's such a bitch (or English slang equivalent).

 

I went through the exact same thing. Moms being over protective which lead to me hating hearing her voice which lead to me leaving home at 18. I chose the hard way.

 

7 years later I'm just getting my life together because I was too busy trying to pay rent and just hustling to have something to eat. Guess what? I had to move back in with moms to afford to go to school.

 

So, my advice is try to work it out. That might mean going to absurd lengths to appease her, it might mean hating hearing her voice, but when you are done college and land a job... Hello, Freedom!

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Guest uncle-boy

dont dig out on school homie.

ride that shit out and try to talk stuff out with your moms.

good luck.:)

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everything i was gonna say has been posted.

stick it out man. don't really know the specifics of the hostility between you two but i'm assuming it the usual stuff.

i would just relax. don't worry about wanting to fuck around get drunk/lit whatever and party all night. do semi decent in school and not get into trouble and shit should ease up a bit.

i fucked around alot in high school getting busted for selling writing etc. so that didn't really help out too much.

i did alot of stupid shit that just escalated matters.

 

even after school i fucked up alot and got into alot of dangerous situations that probably aggrevated stuff as well.

 

if you can ride out high school i'm sure things will get better.

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stay at home.

its that simple.

ride out your teenage years. they will be hard but you can deal.

homosexual undertone right there.

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read this... had the same problem for 6 years

 

sometimes it's really hard to see eye to with the moms..i know. i have told my mom fuck you, i hate you, why you rat me out to the cops count less times over ad over in my younger days. now days me and my mom can talkj again..but it's hard to say it even if you don't want to. sorry is awalys a good start. but you sound like me, what you need to do is find something that will take your mind away for a little bit, and i don't mean burning or drinking. what i used to do is go out and skateas hard as i could skate. one thing is for sure don't go and cruse with your friends. i know friends are awalys there, but it's alot easyier to think alone. but if you try and think when your fusstrated you'll go crazy or have unsound thoughts. some type of physical activity is a good way or relseing the stree, and that will help you think. i suggest getting out of the house for a little bit, but not to long. she needs just as much time to think about cerrent situations as much as you need to contenplate things to. but when you can find reson sit down and talk to her as adults and not as mother and son. as weird as that might of just sounded it's easyier to talk to her as a peer as it wouls be easier for her to talk to you as an adult, but don't forget she is your mom. and like i said before sorry is a good way to start the conversation off... just know why your saying sorrry or it's pointless.

hope this helps and you and your moms can make peace

 

]:{o>

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Like alot of people said, just stick it out.

I'm doing that right now..only 3 more months!

As hard as it is to swallow your pride and any other urges to lash out or act as shitty to her as she is to you just try and be quiet, get a job, save money and do fairly well at school so you'll have more options once you CAN leave. Avoid confrontations as much as possible....

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sneak how old are you ? i have a similair problem, except that my mom is manic-depressive, paranoid schitzophrenic, and treats me like im in kindergarten. im 16 and i cant go anywhere by my self. if someone else was in my situation i would tell them not to take shit and quit being a pussy, i guess i know who the real pussy is. it was ok untill 4 weeks ago. my brother found paint, dye, and flicks in my room. she took me out of school. i stay up untill it gets light and sleep untill 3. i have developed a tic, and im eating way too much. i havent smoked in a month but i still crave it every day. i was taking the tobacco out of my cigg im lucky because unlike last time, i can control my urges for graffiti. i just try not to think about it, and i catch scribes in bathroom mirrors when i can. when i wake up i lay in bed and wish i could just sleep all day. waking up is when i feel the worst.

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Guest sneak

thanks everyone so far....

rags, and arcl..im still 17, so i cant move out as of yet...

 

and vinyl, thats a damn good idea bout staying with mates for a bit. thanks (again)

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Guest imported_Europe

sneak, thanks for calling me a sensible head. I dont know if I am one though. I think alot of other people already have contributed with good advice and I didnt have the same problem with my parents, I love my mom, always have.

 

I say stick with your mom too, but try and talk to her about what you feel is a problem and what she thinks is a problem. Communication is the key.

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Hey i was one of the few heads that was lucky enough to have a mom and a dad in the home. I always had problems with my mom. As a young kid it was more physical abuse like beating me around when i pissed her off. Then when i got bigger than her it turned to mental abuse, You know just constantly in my ear saying shit like "you're a fucking idiot, You'll never make it in life with out our help, You're a little piece of shit." You know it seems like these aren't the worst things people can say about you but when it comes from some one that is supposed to love you unconditionally, it hurts. I was lucky to have my dad there to hold me back when i was gonna swing on her or actually tell her to "Shut the fuck up," when she would go to far. I could always go to mad dad and ask him "What the fuck is her problem?"

 

But when i turned about 17 my dad moved to VA for a better job which left me at home all alone with her. I tried everything like you said, i tried to just stay out of her way, not talk to her, keep to myself but it seemed like she would go out of her way to keep me down. It got to the point where i was either going to leave or i was going to end up beating her to death, so i left. I moved into a 2 bedroom apt with 3 other friends and went to school when ever i could. My mom ended up coming to the school and talking with my deans and shit all super nice like "I don't have any idea what could be wrong with him? Is there any way to force him back home? I'm really worried about him." The thing that pissed me off was they were eating this hsit up like i was some kind of monster putting my mom through hell.

 

At anyrate i lived on my own and it was hard. On top of school work i had to make money. I couldn't find a job anywhere so i resorted to stealing alcohol and selling it to kids at inflated prices for a living. Well i finally got arrested and went to jail for the shit. I went to move back in when i finished up finals in highschool but they were both moving to VA. I couldn't go wth them because of my court dates and probation and all this types of shit. So i just told them that yeah i have a place to stay here and i dont want to go to VA. Well i didn't really have anywhere to go so i ended up homeless with nothing but a suitcase with a few outfits. This was the shittiest point of my life not having anymoney, anywhere to go, and no food. I ended up moving in with my boy and his mom in the fuckin hood again adn gettin a job. I kept fuckin gettin arrested for stupid shit and got to the point where i was like "I gotta get outta this state." While i was on probation i violated and went to court for the shit and was locked up about 2 months before i was supposed to move with my dude. Well i got out of jail about a month after he had already been livin at the spot and the county went to put me on another 2 onths probation on me. I just said fuck it and moved outta state any way and went back every month for my probation hearings.

 

But the fucked up thing is me and my mother get along great right now. I went to talk to her about why she did the things she did when i was a kid, and she looked at me like she didn't know what i was talking about. That pissed me off more than anything but sometimes you just have to be willing to squash the beef so that life can go on.

 

Sorry this is so long but i just thought i should share.

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communication can be impossible..

sometimes when two people live together and the issues get strained, there is never any stepping back and looking at the shit objectively..

 

first, try and relax...don't even think about all the shit she does that bothers you..she's gonna do it anyway right? so it's kinda like water from a ducks back..she isn't really angry at you, she's worried and scared and she's about to lose her baby..crazy as it sounds, she may be afraid of losing you, and afraid of how well you'll take care of yourself when she's not around..

 

the reasons why everyone is saying this same stuff is because everyone deals with it..no matter how good the parent/child relationship is, at some point it usually breakes down..lets face it, its damn tough to live with someone for all those years..

 

also because most relationships grown out of it once you guys can step back and appreciate each other.

 

another reason is because your mom loves you...she wouldnt be freaking out so much if she didnt..and yeah, her way of expressin it is fucked up...but your relationship will grow past that..

 

 

maybe write her a letter..

that wat you can really think about exactly what you wanna say, and how you feel about wanting to preserve the relatioship, even though its very tough for you both right now..

and instead of having an argument, you can just let it out...not that i'm saying go off on her..it has to be a nice letter..but maybe one that expressses your frustration, and your desire to improve the situation..

 

good luck and remember, it's only another handful of months..trust me, thats no time at all..

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^^^^you know its funny being a teen. I have talked to both people on either side of the tracks so to speak and the kids that do good in school, dont go to parties, and respect rules to the fullest look back and say "Man i wish i woulda fucked around a little more as a kid." Then you have the people that fucked around all through the teen years and they look back about 5 years later and say "I wish i woulda hit the books a little bit harder." There is no in between that i know of. You just take your chances and have to live with the results.

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^^^ true, but you can still party and keep up with your responsibilities i'm just saying.. that i over did it..i know i have alot of potential to get what i want done in life..and go to school and make lots of money and not be dependent on anyone.. and having so much restrications on a person can make them rebel.i dunno bleh.blah.

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here's my wisest bit of advice for you sneak...

 

Honor the little rules and no one will suspect you of breaking the big ones.

 

 

I guess I was lucky to have a liberal home to grow up in,

but sometimes things got tough. The best thing to do is smile,

nod and not fight. Dont get the last word in and dont raise your voice.

Apologise quickly and always take the blame. This is the way of the Verbal Ninja.

 

People will say 'Take the highground' when you're in conflict but that

doesn't work with family. You cant take the high road. You cant even win!

The only thing to do is make sure you loose the fight on your terms.

Dont get yelled at for hours then grounded then sold into slavery.

Say you're sorry fast and dont push the buttons. I lived with my Dad

durring college and we knew exactly how to push the buttons. So after

you know how to do it, like every teenager does, learn not to push them.

They're right, you're wrong, case closed. If they insist on yelling at you

and carrying the fight on longer than necessary, well then they might

actually be crazy, but probably just stressed out with life. We all get

stressed out, just learn not to take it out on people you live with.

 

dude, sneak, I'm sure this will pass.

Just think of how much loot you are saving by staying at home.

Leaving home will not be a good idea. It's like asking for a drug habit.

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-note to Sneaky:

 

I've been there man, don't get too worried, these things tend to sort themselves out.

 

I had real problems with my family last year, the tension between us was at times too much. i had my bags packed more than once, and at times i was going to catch that train and "leave" my problems. There is no such thing, they will follow you. I left home last year and nothing got solved, the tension cleared, but thats it, and it comes back. All i can say is roll with the punches, and have a good point if your arguing. Walk away from pointless conversations and take a breather. You are young i imagine, and hell so am i. i have been there, i've been hurt, but those kinds of pains go away. be glad you have a mom and try to sit down and work things out. comprimise.

 

tee

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Guest xKillmodEx

--ThanXX For Your On-Topic Reply, Now Get The Fuck Out--

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I have a great relationship with my parents. I'm just here to make an appearance.....

 

When you're 18 move up north.

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Guest sneak

many thanks all...inc you tease :king: lol

yeh well...from bad to worse it goes. im not going to moan on about it here but moving out could well be a serious option coming in to play soon.

 

i dont know if i can take it any more. fucking example no.1. i have a little brother, aged 12. we get along most of the time, but yeh....i come in from college (remember, i had been out of the house since 7am) and my mum screwed at me because "i was a waste of space who needed to have a long look at how people see me". now i thought that you were never supposed to care what peeps thought of you, now im told that im shit etc...? fucking women.

 

edits - dazzle, get on msn.

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Guest xKillmodEx

--Fetal Postion Beckons Your Arrival--

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