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Spade

It's 1:20 AM, think time.

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Why is it that come this time of nght I always feel like doing nothing. There is a total lack of motivation after 1 am. If I had somthing to eat I could sit in front of this portal all fucking night and acomplish almost nothing, yet still feel statisfied. If I spent 3 hours (say noon-3pm) and did NOTHING i would be so pissed at myself for wasting a day that is to short already. Esp. on the weekend. Weekends are the absolute worst. I guess on the bright side these hours give me time to think without interuption and, for the most oart, without distraction. I have had alot to think about lately, and I am starting to see why 12oz has so many users. It is great to be able to share my toughts with other people that don't know me, and will never know me. Alot of times at night I get realy nervous, I don't really know what about but the kind of nerves that make sleep next to immpossible and make everynoise stand out like a gun shot. I guess this is a good state though, hightend awarness cant be a bad thing. But it feels good to just sit here and write, just seeing my thoughts on paper (or glass) helps me get a objective view of things. Sorry I jump around so much but it is really cold in this room. I would like to turn up the heater but its just not a good idea. If I turn up the heater I would slowly loses the added awarness that cold brings. It just keeps you sharp. I don't like warm days for that same reason. Heat makes me feel groggy, wich in turn makes me feel a lack of motivation. I guess I really don't have any motivation to do anything but type right now though so i SHOULD go turn on the heater, exceot for the little problem that I am lacking motivation due to the time, and if I find enough motivation to turn on the heater its affects will only destroy the motivation gained before going to turn it on. Why does the fucking heater bother me so much. I'm gonna turn it on just to see what happens. BRB. K, im back. I put up my hood too. Damn it I lost my train of thought, oh well. I guess if you read all that your are probably an dumber from it but fuck it, I needed to do a little typing, to calm my nerves. Hint for all of you guys (and gals) with unsettled nerves: typing is a great way to calm yourself down, try it sometime. Just type, don't stop typing, type whatever comes to you and dont think twice about it. I have alot of kinda typing saved in a file and I have never read anyof it more then when I wrote it. Someday I'kll read it and realize how stupid I must be. Cyaz

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Wow, 12oz is amazing. Holy shit this is blowing my mind. Man, i gottta get of my comp for a while, this is to creepy.

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