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Guest kOmega

THE SHIT LIST

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Guest kOmega

THE SHIT LIST

 

> > THE GHOST SHIT

> > The kind where you feel shit come out, see

shit on the toilet

paper,

> but

> > there's no shit in the bowl.

> >

> > THE CLEAN SHIT

> > The kind where you feel shit come out, see

shit in the bowl,

but

> there's

> > no shit on the toilet paper.

> >

> > THE WET SHIT

> > You wipe your ass fifty times and it still

feels unwiped. So

you end

> up

> > putting toilet paper between your ass and your

underwear so you

don't

> > ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

> >

> > THE SECOND WAVE SHIT

> > This shit happens when you've finished, your

pants are up to

your

> knees,

> > and you suddenly realize you have to shit some

more.

> >

> > THE BRAIN HEMORRAHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT

> > Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead

Shit".

> > You have to strain so much to get it out that

you turn purple

and

> > practically have a stroke.

> >

> > THE CORN SHIT

> > No explanation necessary.

> >

> > THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT

> > The kind of shit that's so enormous you're

afraid to flush it

down

> > without first breaking it up into little

pieces with the toilet

brush.

> >

> > THE NOTORIUS DRINKER SHIT

> > The kind of shit you have the morning after a

long night of

drinking.

> > It's most noticeable trait is the skid mark

left on the bottom

of

the

> > toilet bowl after you flush.

> >

> >

> > THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD SHIT" SHIT

> > The kind where you want to shit, but even after

straining your

guts

> out,

> > all you can do is sit on the toilet, cramped

and farting.

> >

> > THE WET CHEEKS SHIT

> > Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the

kind that comes out

of

> your

> > ass so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed

with the toilet

water.

> >

> > THE LIQUID SHIT

> > That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid

shoots out of your

butt,

> > splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl

and, at the same

time,

> > chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

> >

> > THE CROWD PLEASER

> > This shit is so intriguing in size and/or

appearance that you

have

to

> > show it to someone before flushing.

> >

> > THE CRACK FLAPPER SHIT

> > This shit seems to create its own weather

system. Your butt

cheeks

> > feel like they're flapping in the wind when

this shit comes

out.

> >

> > THE MOOD ENHANCER

> > This shit occurs after a lengthy period of

constipation, thereby

> > allowing you to be your old self again.

> >

> > THE "ON THE CLOCK" SHIT

> > This is any shit that you take while you are

punched in at

work.

> > Lunch hour and coffee break shits do not

qualify.

> >

> > THE "BEST NICKEL I EVER SPENT" SHIT

> > This is any shit that you take in a "pay"

bathroom.

Thankfully,

> > there aren't too many of these left. If

you're ever in a

> > Mexican border town, be sure to try one!

> >

> > THE RITUAL

> > This shit occurs at the same time each day and

is accomplished

with

> > the aid of a newspaper.

> >

> > THE AFTERSHOCK SHIT

> > This shit has an odor so powerful than anyone

entering the

vicinity

> > within the next 7 hours is affected.

> >

> > THE "HONEYMOON'S OVER" SHIT

> > This is any shit created in the presence of

another person.

> >

> > THE GROANER

> > A shit so huge it cannot exit without vocal

assistance.

> >

> > THE FLOATER

> > Characterized by its floatability, this shit

has been known to

> > resurface after many flushings.

> >

> > THE RANGER

> > A shit which refuses to let go. It is usually

necessary to

engage

in

> > a rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often

the only solution

is

to

> > push it away with a small piece of toilet

paper.

> >

> > THE PHANTOM SHIT

> > This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no

one will admit

to

> > putting it there.

> >

> > THE PEEK-A-BOO SHIT

> > Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is

playing games with

> > you. Requires patience and muscle control.

> >

> > THE BOMBSHELL

> > A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a

time that is

either

> > inappropriate to shit (ie. during lovemaking

or a root canal)

or you

> > are nowhere near shitting facilities.

> >

> > THE SNAKE CHARMER

> > A long skinny shit which has managed to coil

itself into a

frightening

> > position - usually harmless.

> >

> > THE OLYMPIC SHIT

> > This shit occurs exactly one hour prior to the

start of any

> competitive

> > event in which you are entered and bears a

close resemblance to

the

> > Drinker's Shit.

> >

> > THE BACK-TO-NATURE SHIT

> > This shit may be of any variety but is always

deposited either

in

the

> > woods or while hiding behind the passenger

side of your car.

> >

> > PREMEDITATED SHIT

> > Laxative induced. Doesn't count.

> >

> > SHITZOPHERENIA

> > Fear of shitting - can be fatal!

> >

> > ENERGIZER vs DURACELL SHIT

> > Also known as a "Still Going" shit.

> >

> > THE ROCKET SHIT

> > The kind that comes out so fast, you barely

get your pants down

when

> > you're done.

> >

> > THE LIQUID PLUMBER SHIT

> > This kind of shit is so big it plugs up the

toilet and it

overflows

> all

> > over the floor. (You should have followed the

advice from the

Lincoln

> > Log

> > Shit.)

> >

> > THE SPINAL TAP SHIT

> > The kind of shit that hurts so much coming

out, you'd swear

it's got

> to

> > be coming out sideways.

> >

> > THE "I THINK I'M GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE"

SHIT

> > Similar to the Lincoln Log and The Spinal Tap

Shits. The shape

and

> size

> > of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can.

Vacuous air space

remains

> in

> > the rectum for some time afterwards.

> >

> > THE "I'M GOING TO CHEW MY FOOD BETTER" SHIT

> > When the bag of Doritos you ate last night

lacerates the

insides of

> your

> > rectum on the way out in the morning.

> >

> > THE "I THINK I'M TURNING INTO A BUNNY" SHIT

> > When you drop lots of cute, little round ones

that look like

marbles

> and

> > make tiny splashing sounds when they hit the

water.

> >

> > THE "WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?" SHIT

> > Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump.

Of course you

don't

warn

> > anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour.

Instead, you stand

innocently

> > near the door and enjoy the show as they run

out gaggin and

gasping

> for

> > air.

> >

> > THE "I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING

THERE" SHIT

> > Where you just sit there patiently and wait

for the last

cling-on to

> > drop

> > off because if you wipe now, it's going to

smear all over the

place.

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HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA NICE that describes every one of the shits, i didnt know people had the same things as me. Oh yeah i heard this one guy on loveline who holds in his shits for like 6 days cause he is crazy it was funny.

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Guest beardo

i didnt read the post, but RAIN in general is on my shitlist

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I never experianced it, but one of my co-workers described to me what he called a submariner or titanic shit. He said as soon as he had finished, and the shit left his body he was still sitting on the bowl. He then swears that he felt something bump him directly in his ass. He could only speculate that his turd has fallen to the water and bobbed much like a cork, or that titantic effect, or a submarine resurfacing.

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Originally posted by B_As_In_Bot:

I never experianced it, but one of my co-workers described to me what he called a submariner or titanic shit. He said as soon as he had finished, and the shit left his body he was still sitting on the bowl. He then swears that he felt something bump him directly in his ass. He could only speculate that his turd has fallen to the water and bobbed much like a cork, or that titantic effect, or a submarine resurfacing.

or its even worse when you are having violent

diarreah, and you pop a boner, and it starts rubbing against the inside of the bowl, so you try to move it, and it hits the shit water and the diarreah seeps into your urethra, and you try to piss but its clogged with diarreah so you cant piss and it builds up and then your dick turns purple/greenish-yellow and you have to go to the doctors and they ask you if you are gay and do guys up the ass and you say no and they say you lie and then inject you with shit and when you wake up you have breasts and no penis and are lying in the restroom at sears and there is a michael bolton song playing. not that its happened to me or anything.

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Originally posted by IwearPinkShirts:

Originally posted by B_As_In_Bot:

I never experianced it, but one of my co-workers described to me what he called a submariner or titanic shit. He said as soon as he had finished, and the shit left his body he was still sitting on the bowl. He then swears that he felt something bump him directly in his ass. He could only speculate that his turd has fallen to the water and bobbed much like a cork, or that titantic effect, or a submarine resurfacing.

or its even worse when you are having violent

diarreah, and you pop a boner, and it starts rubbing against the inside of the bowl, so you try to move it, and it hits the shit water and the diarreah seeps into your urethra, and you try to piss but its clogged with diarreah so you cant piss and it builds up and then your dick turns purple/greenish-yellow and you have to go to the doctors and they ask you if you are gay and do guys up the ass and you say no and they say you lie and then inject you with shit and when you wake up you have breasts and no penis and are lying in the restroom at sears and there is a michael bolton song playing. not that its happened to me or anything.

 

 

HO!SHIT!

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Originally posted by IwearPinkShirts:

not that its happened to me or anything.[/b]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

PERFECT ENDING..YOU'RE THE SHIT YOU PINK SHIRT WEARIN MUTHA FUCKA!

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BEING AT THE LOCAL POOL....

a life guard calls all the guys who are willing to come take a look in the girls bath room.WHAT WE WERE LOOKIN AT COULD ONLY BE CALLED "THE GORILLA SHIT"

this thing was unexplainabley HUGE!it was ont the floor and smelt real bad..this life guard of the ghetto teased the female race for one of thier kind creating such a mess..it was a perfect day.

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THE BIG MISTAKE

we were out partying with chicks..my house is alway the last place of hanging out...while we were out in the front this hot chick wants to use my bathroom..so I send her in only to have her run out disqusted with luaghter..when i went in to investigate i saw a SHIT THE SIZE OF MY FORE ARM WITH A FORMATION AT THE END OF IT WHICH LOOKED LIKED A BABY'S DEFORMED HAND...look at you fore arm and bend you hand forward to make a claw...that is what i saw...the worst thing about it is that there was noooo toilette paper..it was a phantom shit

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