rape

[dahighlifdhl]

THAT IS SOME FUCKED UP SHIT

[Guest willy.wonka]

we were all in the same gang..nothing to be said..i didnt feel guilty.

back then i really didnt give a fuck.they always came back for more..so really..i just thought of it as strange.basically there were girls that didnt want to get raped and girls that did, no matter how stupid that sounds..its true.

 

girls that didnt want to get raped..didnt drink...-bad joke.

[dahighlifdhl]

IT DOES SOUND STUPID

BUT IT ALSO MAKES SENSE

[GI Jew]

if those girls didn't want that, they wouldn't have showed back up and gotten drunk around all those SAME guys. Girls tell eachother EVERYTHING... it was no mystery... the girls went back on PURPOSE!!!!

[Guest willy.wonka]

maybe they didnt want to be the only ones getting gangbanged/raped by a bunch of ganbangers..

[Guest socrates]

About 2 years ago I went to a party just outside of SF in some pretty nice area. I'd come with 3 of my friends and there were like 100 kids there and We knew 1...after like 30 minutes of "light" drinking and mingling this kid came up on us and started pointing out girls that he'd got with..I didn't really care and neither did the friend I was standing with so we walked away from him...he came back like 10 minutes later and said "wanna see how I got all those girls", I said I didn't care but he reached in his pocket and brought out a handfull of little white pills(ruffies). Before that dumb kid had a chance to close his hand I hit him, my friend grabbed him and slammed him on the concrete...we eventually drug him out into the midddle of the street and and continued to beat his ass long after he started bleeding. then the cops showed up and we never even flinched I sat in the back of the car and felt zero remorse, I went to the station spent the night in lock-up but the best part was the arresting officer found out about what really happened and wrote in his report that my friend was attacked and I was only hitting him in self defense, As I left I saw the cop as I was geting released and he grabbed my arm and said I did what he wanted to do but couldn't..........all in all you violate a girl whether I know her or you I will physicially and mentally fuck with you, so help me god until you kill yourself.

[Guest socrates]

I don't understand why guys let there friends get away with that type of shit...It doesn't matter if you force her, give her drugs , or fuck her when she passed out. it's wrong same thing goes for hitting a girl no matter what you're bigger and stronger, it's genetics...basiclially don't do dumb shit cause karma's a bitch

[deznatori]

Socrates comin through.

 

I've done a lot of things in my life. Moral and immoral. I can steal from stores or someone I don't know. I can beat someone into a coma. Stab, Shoot, beat with any available object. But rape is one thing I could never do. It is the lowest form of crime. Rapist should be impaled rectally. I had a girlfriend who was raped before I met her. She was crazy mentally. It ruined her entire view of people. Trust was almost non existant with her. To this day if I ever see the man who did it I would kill him. Cruel and Unusual Punishment laws should be lifted for the crime of rape. I'm not talking the contravesial he might not have done it, She just made it up kinda rape. I mean the straight up, your caught bloody dicked rape. Rapist should have their genitals severed off. Cut off the dick flush with the skin. Not turn it into a vagina. just leave enough of a hole to piss. No scrotum or balls.

[Guest socrates]

RAPE= murder of a girls mind

[GI Jew]

http://www.terribleone.com/cgi/rand_image.cgi'>

[Guest TEARZ]

Originally posted by diehomokthx

TEARZ: This makes me curious as to why you start a thread like this, not just because you want some views on the subject, but did something related happen around you recently?

 

actually no. i started this thread for a few reasons....

 

1. i started thinking about the internet and the aspect of its anonymity- it is only partly the case in 12oz, but, how could this be harnessed to talk about a real subject in ways that move outside of "the norm." things that people think but wouldn't say face to face, things that people know that are afraid to say... rape came up as a topic because it got me thinking about how i don't know anyone that has admitted to raping someone. it reminded me of this speaker when i was back in school- in a room of about 300, she asked, 'how many of you know a woman that has been raped personally?' all the hands went up. then she asked, 'how many of you know a rapist?' and no hands went up. fucked up. i thought that the internet would take away some of that fear of "raising one's hand."

 

2. i think fucked up thoughts every day- racist, sexist, whatever... i believe that all of you do too, whether you choose to admit it or acknowledge them or not is a different issue. for better or for worse, instead of choosing to suppress these thoughts, i choose to analyze them (most of them)in attempt to know myself better and understand the forces that are acting upon me. ultimately in attempt to improve myself, and deprogram some of the cultural damage that has been done to me growing up in america. at least that's the hope. some days it feels like a pandora's box. i believe analysis is a better approach than suppression or pretending such thoughts never went through your head. maybe not.

 

3. based on steps one and two, i hoped to widen the discussion on how men can talk about rape in a non-threatening environment- not to exclude women, just 12oz is mostly boys. to me, on the subject of rape, the discourse is so disjointed from reality that it's alarming. no offense to previous posters but "i'd beat the fuck outta any rapist" is a common response and well trodden ground- it doesn't highlight any of the ambiguity and complexity of rape cases and furthermore, i don't think that they're completely honest- so all of you that reply this way insist that the thought has never run through your head, ever, even in one sick flash, even when drunk? some of the other posts are much more telling. how the fuck are you gonna talk to one of your boys about rape or appropriate/inappropriate behavior, or your son, or teach little kids, if you can never identify with the rapist? it's bullshit and suppression pure and simple. media and gender roles and all this other fucked up shit give kids really conflicting messages about sexuality and i'm sorry but suppression isn't the technique for dealing with stopping men from raping women. that's my point i guess.

 

i know this thread seems dark- it's not my intention to depress... i guess i'm stirring the pot a little. i just want people to think and be honest. it's a sickness in the world and this is my little pathetic attempt to face it if even for a brief second and wanted to extend the invitation to others. thanks to you all for taking it seriously.

[Guest socrates]

I give you props for trying....sometimes though it gets fucked up by a 12 year old

[GI Jew]

I understand where you're coming from man. I've never actually in my mind thought "I'd RAPE that girl." It's always, "I'd hit it," or something like that. Rape is just so bad of a thing, it's violating to ME as a person to think of myself commiting an act such as rape. I wouldn't do it for the world.

[Guest chicken bone]

I don't know any rapists but I've had two girlfriends that were victims of rape. If statistically 1 out of every 8 girls have been raped, so that means the number is probably closer to 1 in every 4 girls.

 

After the rape the girl goes through some shock only to come down with a feeling of ultimate disgustingness. They feel so dirty, gross, and ashamed that they can't take it anymore, and they usually end up blaming themselves for what happened, saying that they deserved it and that it happened to them because they are 'bad'. There is probably no other output for their rage and helplessness, so they take it out on themselves. They are too ashamed or upset to tell anyone and they go to bed every nite wishihng for it all to just end. I remember an ex telling me she used to sit on top of her two story house... Wanting to jump landing on her head (from a pretty short house) so she could die as long and as painful as possible.

 

The girl usually never tells anyone about it until 1 to however many years later. Its so depressing. The same ex never really did 'lose' her virginity, someone really did 'take' it. In the back of her 'friends' car while he was driving her home, she fell asleep and he stopped the car in the middle of nowhere, telling her he wanted to sleep for a little bit. Since they were friends and she was already half asleep she didnt think anything of it, and he went into the back seat and raped her, drove her home and left her on the street in front of her house in the rain.

 

The other girl told me she took a shower for 5 hours after she was raped... She also had recurring reinactments of the rape happening everytime she fell asleep alone. The other girl had these too, but developed 'lucid dreaming' (controlling your dreams) to cope with it. Both girls tried to commit suicide but failed. I also think the other girl developed a slight schizophrenia.

 

There is absolutly no excuse for rape, and I promised myself if I ever came across either of the guys that raped these girls, I would kill them on the spot. I hope that I would not hesitate to prevent or stop a guy from raping a girl, whether I knew her or not.

 

Thanks for starting this thread though.. Everyone should read it. I just got finished talking to my girlfriend now, and I'm making her buy mace or pepper spray first chance she gets. I think every girl should carry this in her purse or as a keychain or something on her wallet.

 

Other girls who have been raped resort to lots of promiscuity, and having sex with a lot of different people helps dull down the memory of being raped, and the feeling of being forced.

[Guest chicken bone]

The bad thing about the promiscuity that some girls that have been raped tend to lean to, ends up with them being labled as a 'whore' or a 'hoochie', 'hoe', wahtever, which I have found to be such a sad irony... I've had to deal with a lot of things being in these relationships (it was actually my last two girlfriends in a row), and sometimes I can taste maybe a little bit of the helplesness that they must feel (seeing as though I can do absolutely nothing to change the past, and the rapist is long gone). Its an awful thing, and it is truly frustrating, especially when it happens to someone you're in love with...

 

My current girlfriend has almost been raped twice, and ill do anything to ever prevent it from ever happening.

 

*So think before calling a girl a 'hoe' or a 'slut' because it can really ruin her life if her reputation is fucked up. Usually once a girl gets called a slut rumours fly and the next thing you know she is labeled as some little whore. Think about that next time you decide to talk shit about a girl, unless its directly yyour business (like its ok to talk shit about a girl if your a nice guy and she cheats on you, or you could stop wasting your time and go for other fish). If that doenst make sense then I'm sorry. I hate how people gossip, rumours fly, and shit talking overflows.

[Guest TEARZ]

i'm trying to avoid distancing myself from it or letting others distance themselves from it, because i feel it's a problem more pervasive than we want to believe...

 

i too have never thought, "i wanna rape that girl." but, i have thought, "i wonder what would happen if i put it in right now." there's absolutely a difference, yes. but did i wanna put it in? yes. that would be rape- in some sense i thought about raping that girl i guess. what if i were drunk or impaired or somehow that reflex saying "don't do that" were not there?

i guess i'm trying to highlight how close normal guys are to rapists and how some "normal guys" got to be rapists. i don't see it so much as personal as i see it larger- cultural, societal, whatever... this does not apply, and my feelings of relation do not extend to those who prey on little kids and give girls roofies and shit like that- i'm talking more about date rape, which is the largest type of rape. i honestly can't relate to that other shit at all no matter how much i try.

[podrido]

http://www.amigazone.com/images/worthless.jpg'>

[Guest TEARZ]

chicken bone, dope post.

i too have dealt with girls with emotional and behavioral issues as a result of being raped. the shit is truly fucked up. one of the girls i dated, and who i was in love with, had incredible problems trusting men and didn't like having sex. it was a difficult road with her and still makes me sad thinking about the whole thing. :(

[Guest chicken bone]

Under the pressures of horniness or alcohol or whatever, it can be very tempted to want to have sex with a girl if you guys are getting down to it, but until she wants it, (puts it in her) or tells you she wants sex, you cant put your dick in her.

 

Just ask her. "Do you want to have sex?". If she says yes then OK, if she says no, then maybe shes not horny, or shes not ready, or she wants to oral first, or whatever... You will find out, but until she says yes or is on top of you or telling you she wants sex, you really shouldnt (unless you guys are bf, gf, and you've had sex together before and you are comfortable just 'putting it in').

 

One night me and this girl (my current girlfriend now) were getting down to it and it was the first time we hooked up so I was all into it and I just asked her "Do you wanna have sex?". She seemed kinda iffy and said she didnt want to miss the opportunity in case we didnt have another chance, but at the same time she didnt want to give it up in one night.

 

Well anyways (this is kind of funny) she is really inexperienced and I had a REALLY hard time 'getting it in'. She was really tight down there so it wouldnt go in, and it kept flopping out and stuff and I kept laughing because it was so frustrating and I was getting embarrassed (she had a straight face the whole time, and asked me at one point "why are you laughing?" (which made me more embarrassed))... So since I was getting all shy my dick kept going limp, so I had to (or she had to) get it hard again, then it wouldnt fit, then it would go limp, then get it hard, then it wont fit, then go limp, all the while I'm blushing like a little school girl and she probably thinking "Ahh I cant even get him hard, or maybe he's impotent!". This goes on for a FULL hour until finally it gets in... And FIVE minutes later she is like "Can you stop? I dont feel too comfortable doing this at this time in the relationship" (or something to that extent). And so I stopped. I was so horny and frustrated, but I stopped, and we ended up cuddling and falling asleep. The p oint being, no matter what, No means NO and you need to respect that.

 

She told me later that she was also really nervous, and that it was hurting her a lot (having sex that is). She is more experienced NOW though, hehe ;)

[GI Jew]

I vote this the thread with the largest number of long replies.

[Guest chicken bone]

Hey babypuncher good post, and you know either your girlfriend is just really freaky, OR (which is what I'm guessing) she was abused somewhat in the past, and you doing it to her serves as a reinactment to what happened (thus deadening, erasing the pain and dirtiness of it). Maybe she feels that you will make it feel 'OK' for her. I'm not sure, and I could be totally wrong, but I think its up to you to take it up for yourself and find out whats going on in her head...

[Poop Man Bob]

Best thread in a while. It was interesting reading what others had to say. I really don't have much to add, seeing as though I don't know anyone that's been raped. Well, I'm sure I do, but I'm not aware of them being raped ... ugh.

 

I can share the emotions of BabyPuncher and others only in imagining what it would be like if my sister or girlfriend were raped. Horrible.

 

The small difference in strength and weight that men have in comparison to women can do fucked up things to the world.

[Guest socrates]

What would you do if it was your best friend who raped a girl...what would you do....my first reaction would be violence but I think i'd still at somepoint want to talk to them about it and just ask WHY

[KaBar]

Rape is a Very Bad Thing

 

I've known several girls and women that have been raped, over the years. It has nothing to do with sex, it's all about violence and domination of another person. Men get raped too. The prison rape thing is just the tip of the iceberg, men and boys get raped right out here in society, but almost nobody is willing to admit it.

 

I knew a young 17-year-old guy that got raped at knifepoint by a black guy he met who offered him some drugs. They smoked a joint on the street and the guy seemed cool, so when he asked the kid "Come on up to my apartment, I got more," the kid went. When they got up there, the guy locked the door (a double-key dead bolt---requires a key on the inside to get out) and pulled a knife. He asked the kid, "What do you want to be--the mama or the papa?" The kid was scared shitless, and said "Neither." The guy jumped on him, put the knife to his throat, pulled down his surf trunks and fucked him in the ass.

 

When he got back to our house, he was a mess. The guy beat him up pretty good, and he had several superficial knife cuts on his neck.

 

My buddy G____, who was a Communist, wanted to go waste the guy immediately, but I said "No fucking way." I packed my shit, took my girl and left immediately, hitch hiking north. G____ and his revolutionary buddies could do whatever they wanted, but I was not participating in a pre-meditated murder to revenge the rape of some 17-year-old who was so lame ass that he would get into that situation to start with, and who wouldn't last ten seconds if interrogated by the cops.

 

I could just see it---the kid would get Youthful Offenders' Camp and the rest of us would wind up on Death Row or in Soledad. FUCK THAT.

 

I never asked them what they intended to do. I never saw any of them again. If they lit the guy up, I don't want to know about it.

 

That was in 1972. My girlfriend has since been murdered (in 1989, in Houston,) by her landlord's ex-convict son, stabbed five times in the back, and raped as she bled to death in the hallway of her garage apartment.

 

You are on your fucking own. Don't you believe for a second that the cops are protecting you. They aren't.

[bodice_ripper]

Well, i was going to sign on under an anonymous screen name, but i think it would be pretty clear it was me anyway. And i also believe that my being in Ireland at the time was an important factor in what happened....

 

 

i got my first boyfriend when I was 14, and I was MUCH too young emotionally. I was overwieght and had terrible self esteem, and I felt as if i was in debt to him for even being wih me. I was with him for just under 3 years, during this time he hit me a few times - nothing spectacular. I did everything *but* have sex with him - I developed this obsessive little part of my mind where I just kept repeating to myself that I "wouldn't let him have it".

One day I was drinking and smoking hash with him and some friends in the forest near my house. I got really sick and lay down, fading in and out of conciousness. I vaguely heard him saying something to the effect of "I'll make you feel better.". Everyone was gone suddenly, and I felt a rip which was my underwear being snapped and he tried to force himself inside me. i screamed and he freaked out - bashed my head against a tree. I ran off and climbed a tree.

 

No one ever said anything about it - he just passed the whole thing off as "she gets really slutty when she drinks...". To be honest, I don't know how far he got into me - I did need stitches in that area from a stick that was accidentally ground into me

 

We broke up some months later, I still talk to him some times. It's quite clear that's he's not ok mentally - special schooling etc, his father beats him etc... His life has been much harder than mine. Someone should be helping him. I call what happened assault, not rape

 

 

 

 

I always feel that people treat rape-victims completely wrongly. All they EVER hear is how their life is ruined, how fucked up they will be emotionally from now on. How is this helping? I understand that much worse things than what happened to me occur, but still the focus should be on dealing with it and moving on. I'll admit i'm still uncomfortable around drunk men.

 

 

 

 

so anyway, please don't give me shit about this ^^^^^^ post, I will simply leave. and I also don't want to hear about how this made me a lesbian, I was bi then, I am bi now. I'd be more than happy to discuss that in a different thread........................

[WhAt_dA_fUcK]

<- no shit at all to give:( ........

[Rectum]

there are many degrees of rape ........some more understandable then others

[GI Jew]

That sucks Bodice, I'm really sorry, even though it's not my place to apologize. No girl/guy deserves that. A person that'd do that to someone has many issues themselves on the inside, I can only imagine.

 

I have a story now. Let's see... I'm 20 years old now, so this must have been about 7 or 8 years ago. I lived in San Antonio at the time. I had about 3 friends that I used to ride bikes with alot, we were 7th or 8th graders. Anyway, we knew some older kids that rode bikes too. They were better than us we kinda tagged along with them cause they were cool or whatever. One of the older guys lived right next to me in this apartment complex. So after some time I began chilling at his house, and so did the group of friends we were all familiar with the place. We found out later that the guy that he stayed with wasn't really his dad and was a vietnam war vet that had "adopted" our older buddy. I think the older buddy of ours, we'll call him Don from here on, had problems with his family so he got kicked out or whatever and lived with this vietnam vet guy. Then, little by little, stories began getting passed around about how this vet guy was weird and he'd done things to these older friends of ours. Me and my friends didn't think much of it.

 

As time passed my friends and I spent more and more time over there, the vet guy would buy us gifts and stuff. He was TOO nice. He was a pervert, he touched my friends. I knew that he did, but for some reason I never told anyone, I don't know why. I don't know what else he did to them, they'd spend the night over there, and so would I. But I always slept in the back room. We spent alot of time over there. The vet guy had this wooden model boat. I remember asking him about it and he said he'd made it in prison. It's funny because nobody ever asked him why he was in prison. We also knew that he had a kid of his own. But we never saw his kid, and not much was ever said about him. Well, after this went on for a while, my friend Adam told his mom, whom I was also good friends with, what had been going on. He told her that the guy had been touching him and his friends and he knew it was wrong.

 

Adam's mom got the police involved. The vet, Charles, had a prestigious job at a local electronics plant. One day while Charles was at work, giving a big speech to a group of people at work, the agents came in right up to the podium and took him away. He went to prison and killed himself a week later by putting a plastic bag over his head and rolling off his bunk to knock himself out. It all happened so blindlingly quick from the time that Adam had told his mom till the time that this "man" that we knew killed himself.

 

I'm a fucked up person from being around that shit, Charles never touched me, he always told me I was too "paranoid". I can only imagine where and what my old friends are doing today. I hope that by him doing what he did to them it doesn't perpetuate that kind of behavior.

[Rectum]

cops are useless this femasle friend of mine's mum works at a childcare centre in jersey and theres this guy who parks his van in front of the centre on occasion and masturbates ........the police were informed but apparently the guy isnt in breach of any laws so nothing can be done....well noithing lawful that is............also i know a cuple of girls who have benn molested both by people close to them when they were young.....one took it well and is pretty normal...she didnt even have trouble telling me he licked her out during time where he was minding her...the other is pretty wierd and despite her being almost twenty now she has never even told her parents........the guy could still be teaching gymnastics for all anyone knows.......also my sisters boyfriend was molested by a prominent political figure when he was young who was the father of one of his friends ......he is 35 now and never told any family so the guy is still around .........i also know of a girl bout 15 who got raped by two guys at her school ....she told her gay dad who didnt care........and continues going to that school.......what im trying to say is that these poeple are constantly getting away with because kids usually find it less painful to just block it out

[banjo bob]

this thread has definitely made me think about a few things. i agree rape is a most despicable act, the thought of raping someone makes me feel ill.

 

one thing i found quite interesting in reading all of the responses is that it seems as though the act of rape itself is not what people find so horrible, rather, a man raping a woman. i think i remember someone saying something to the effect of "rapists should get raped," and the idea of men being raped even seems to be the source of some humor. not to say that this isn't somewhat understandable; a big part of the issue of a man raping a woman is in the fact that men, in general, are more powerful than women. maybe this difference in treatment is due to the fact that with a man raping a woman, it's as though the man is deciding he is going to use this strength advantage in such a way as to exploit the woman's weakness. with a man raping another man the issue of a difference in physical strength or power seems to be less exagerated.

 

kabaar mentioned a case in which a guy raped another guy at knifepoint. i'm not sure if the fact that it was at knifepoint was a crucial issue but it seems like it may have been, as it was probably a way of increasing the power difference to the point where one party was helpless and the other party had complete control.

i'm surprised more people haven't talked about issues like all the priests who have been accused and possibly convicted of molestation. it seems to conform to the situation in which one person has much more power/control over the other.

 

as far as tearz's raising the issue of thinking about rape from the male perspective, that is, someone who has the power to rape someone else, i don't think i could do that. it seems so completely foul, to think that one person could violate another like that. granted speaking in hypotheticals inevitably distances one from the subject. i know this is going to sound kind of gross, it's not a nice thing to think about, but.. try to imagine it from the perspective of the person 'you would be raping,' it does a lot to 'humanize' the issue and make it...i guess closer to home or something.

 

i know this is gonna sound kinda played out and cliche/lame but i do think that to some extent things like porno do affect social consciousness.. i'm not gonna go the "it's degrading to women" route, rather i think it probably fucks with men just as much if not more so.. saying or thinking things like "i'd hit it" imply a lack of...something..maybe it's respect, maybe it's empathy or compassion.. but in any event it leads to a situation in which a man or men in general are less likely to think about sexuality as a mutual thing between two people, and more likely to think about it in terms of his/their own needs being met. i guess i kinda am taking the 'porn objectifies women' approach, though i'm not saying i'm above it.. i think the whole thing is a really tricky issue, with a lot of fine lines.

 

kabaar was right on saying that rape has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with domination over another person.

 

ugh i've said way too much now.. but i have to say this is one of the most interesting threads i've seen in a long time.