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.....worst shitting stories ever.......


CAPS

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Guest fr8lover
Originally posted by INDIAN GIVER

one day i was walking through my grandma's hood, just chilling when a gang of kids start fronting on me. i slap a couple out and go on my way. me and my cousin pulled an all nighter that day, and in the morning at about 9:30 we went to smoke some weed, now because we pulled an all nighter i drank a lot of coffee. so we're at this park and i feel like i'm about to shit my pants, so i run to this ghetto ass public bathroom and as when i get i almost puke cuz it's so gross. shit on the walls, used condoms and needles on the floor. so i sit my ass down on the cleanest toilet, and about 30 seconds of ass explosions later i hear some people come in. uh oh. that's when the shit hit the fan. the stall door gets kicked open and 3-4 guys grab me out and then about 8 or 9 people start kicking my ass with my pants around my ankles, i couldn't help but keep shitting. one of the guys starts puking and then 2 or 3 others do the same. i get kicked in the face with a shitty foot and now have shit on my face. i guess the smell was too much cuz they all ran out after a couple minutes. it was a gross scene. i was lying there with my pants around my ankles with shit all and puke all over the place. my cousin comes in and he has a couple teeth missing and he's bleeding everywhere.

about a week later we found them and me and 6 of my cousins beat them down, took a crow bar to the guys teeth that knocked out my cousins teeth. rubbed some faces in dog shit. it was cool...

 

that's how we do it on the rez.

 

i seriously had my mouth wide open in disgust and amazement when reading this...damn dude!

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Originally posted by INDIAN GIVER

one day i was walking through my grandma's hood, just chilling when a gang of kids start fronting on me. i slap a couple out and go on my way. me and my cousin pulled an all nighter that day, and in the morning at about 9:30 we went to smoke some weed, now because we pulled an all nighter i drank a lot of coffee. so we're at this park and i feel like i'm about to shit my pants, so i run to this ghetto ass public bathroom and as when i get i almost puke cuz it's so gross. shit on the walls, used condoms and needles on the floor. so i sit my ass down on the cleanest toilet, and about 30 seconds of ass explosions later i hear some people come in. uh oh. that's when the shit hit the fan. the stall door gets kicked open and 3-4 guys grab me out and then about 8 or 9 people start kicking my ass with my pants around my ankles, i couldn't help but keep shitting. one of the guys starts puking and then 2 or 3 others do the same. i get kicked in the face with a shitty foot and now have shit on my face. i guess the smell was too much cuz they all ran out after a couple minutes. it was a gross scene. i was lying there with my pants around my ankles with shit all and puke all over the place. my cousin comes in and he has a couple teeth missing and he's bleeding everywhere.

about a week later we found them and me and 6 of my cousins beat them down, took a crow bar to the guys teeth that knocked out my cousins teeth. rubbed some faces in dog shit. it was cool...

 

that's how we do it on the rez.

 

damn! hahhahaa

 

who had the story where he took a shit and flushed the toilet and the the shit flew out the toilet?

 

god that was hilarious/

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whre the fuck is that story by nonhetero or whomever

 

about the restaurant

 

it was alot like caps

 

and i have seen homeless doing some of that same (shit)

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Guest willy.wonka

back when i was workin arby's

 

i walked into the bathroom and it looked like some crack head stood in front of the toilet and shit sprayed out of his ass and unto the toilet and the walls..

 

it looked like he stood about a foot away from the toilet..we gotthe new guy to clean that shit.

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Guest -MOE LESTER-

i think caps was the worst story....i mean....riding an airplane is bad enough...especially in economy...now image riding economy with shit in your pants, your asshole itches, it smells terrible, theres no space, everyopne around you hates you...jesus christ i would have killed myself! then plus you gotta get off the plane and walk around the airport with shit in your pants...then ride a taxi home with shit in your pants...god damn thats terrible!

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never go out on a long painting mission when you think you might have diarrhea. i had the worst stomach pains for the two mile walk home and we were locked out so i dropped my pants and took this raunchy shit behind a garage, ripped my boxers off and wiped my ass with them. that was nasty, i had to shower and borrow undies.

 

a month later, his mom was walking around or something and told him there's a pair of boxers out in the alley that "look like they've been ripped off someone"

 

tee hee

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Guest -MOE LESTER-

my friend ivan took a fat ass shit in my toilet and he like....had to use chopsticks and he fished the shit out of my tiolet, put it in a bag, and walked outside my huose with it....my mom asked him what was in the bag and he said..."a present"...then he went and put his shit on a brand new BMW motorcycle

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splat

 

I was at the Cooker (steakhouse) in Columbus once, chillin with some friends waiting for our friend who was a hostess to finish her shift. We were makin fun of everyone out of boredom, then this extremely obese couple got sat at the table right next to us. The kind of people that should be wearing bed sheets.. u know. They were abnormally hairy and smelled like piss, and just the sight of them was enough to make anyone lose their appetite. Well right behind them was this yuppy ass couple with their loud ass attention starved kids. They were pretty disgusted by the fat people too, and the lady actually scowled at them, put her napkin on her plate and pushed it to the corner with this look of absolute nausia. So she kindof leans over the table and is obviously talking shit about them to her husband. Meanwhile, the kids finish eating too and proceed to start playing on the floor underneith the table. Just feet away from this pair of fat ankles that actually roll not once, but twice around the shoe line. The fat woman is wearing this meu meu, and it's obvious her theighs are so fat that she has to sit with her legs like 2 feet apart. Which was especially gross considering she was filling the room with a piss like stench. So the fat people get their appetizers and by this time the yuppies are enthralled in some deep conversation, probably about the latest medical studies concerning the adkins diet or some bullshit, and they're totally paying no attention to their kids who are now breaking up crayons and throwing them at the fat ankles. We're cracking up, which is egging them on even more. I think the blubber cut off nerve endings though because neither of them even noticed. So we're all laughing and having a goodtime at their expense when out of nowhere the lardass lady in the meu meu struggles and sweats her way into a standing position, and starts waddling towards the yuppy table. The kids sit up at attention afraid to move thinking their about to get busted for throwing stuff. Then as the lady walks past the yuppy table she lets out this terrible moan of shock that sounds like a dying horse, then proceeds to grab the back of her huge ass as shit come spraying out the back of her meu meu landing all of about 6 inches away from the kids. The little girl starts crying obnoxiously loud which draws attention from the whole entire restaurant so EVERYONE turns to see whats going on just in time to see this 500 pound hairy woman trying to gallop to the restroom holding a sopping clingy meu meu to her shit stained overstuffed beanbag of an ass, leaving a trail of very consentrated and chunky diahrrea splattered all over the nicely finished hardwood floor. The look on the yuppies face was priceless, I don't think a trainload to auschwitz could have looked more mortified. The whole crowd went dead silent except for a coughs and gags and people were actually rubbernecking over and around booths paralized in shock and sympothy for those poor kids who were now whimpering in a scarred for life type of fashion. The whole room filled up with the smell of hot garbage and a distinct roadkill type of death stench.. And the best part of the whole thing was that the fat husband just sat out there finishing the appetizers, didn't get up or say anything at all.. even when the clean up crew came out, and the manager came out to pick up tabs for that whole section. Dude just sat there eating and being fat like it was all he had left.

 

 

 

mprs

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Guest SPLINTER
Originally posted by SPLINTER

i once took a shit in a kmart urinal back when i was like 6 or 7. i wanted to shit real bad but there was only one toilet and there was some guy in there for like half an hour and i kept telling him to hurry up but he kept telling me to shut up so i kept leaving and coming back. i expected this big football player looking guy to be taking a half our shit so i was scared. it finally got to where i couldnt hold it so i shit in the urinal and wiped my ass with the paper towels. when the guy was about to step out the stall i hid behind the trashcan (ashamed of my actions) only to witness a midget exiting the stall. im not sure why but it makes me laguh to think he prolly shit half his body wieght if he was inthere so long.

 

at the same kmart probably a year later i need to take a piss but the urinal didnt work confused: so i had to wait till the guy finished cleaning the toilet. once he came out i saw that is was the same guy that always kicked me out of the store (just an escort to the front of the store) when i would play with all the toys in the store (i was poor, couldnt afford to take em home) so he yells "you better no dirty it, it took me long enuff to clean it!" so preceeded to take my revenge for the sadness he caused in the past and pissed on everything and anything. it felt good.:

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one time i got real drunk when iwas a young kid

and i got home and went to puke in the bathroom as i was puking a shit and i was wearing boxers so the shit went straight out on the ground and i then fell over which left me puking all over the place

 

 

i then woke up and my mom was standing there laughing and i looked over to see puke and shit all over the ground it was rough

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oh yeah once back in like grade 2 this kid i knew took a shit then toom some of his shit out of the toilet

then he checked exactly where ones foot would go once they stepped into the stall

(it took minutes of planning)

he then left his shit there for some child to walk in and step on

 

later that day the teacher came in and you know back then when a teacher would come in lookinjg upset and ask for the classes attention

 

me and my freind new right off the bat that she was gonna talk about what had did

turns out some poor little bastard walkked into the stall the foot went right in the shit and he slipped smoking his face into the toilet knocking him out

he was found by some other kid

 

my freind burst out into laughter after hearing this and him being the only one who laughed he was supected

he got expelled and i can not really remember seeing him after that i was in the office with him and he explained to the principal how he had planned it out to the exact foot spot and everthing

 

i got suspended for not trying to stop him

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Ok girls **aren’t** suppose to poop right. Everyone knows you do, it’s just one of those stupid things….like girls don’t fart. So I’m on a date with this guy right, I’m like 16, I forget what we were doing but we stopped by Wendy’s on the way home, I ate the chili. Big fucking mistake. So we get back to his house and he wants me to come in and chill with a couple of his friends meet his parents, blah blah blah. About 5 minutes later my stomach starts cramping and I get that sweat on the back of my neck where your hands get all clammy. You know the feeling, like your whole lower half is going to explode. But there was no way in HELL I was going to take a nasty shit in this guy I just met bathroom. Heaven forbid someone walk in after me. So I make up something about not feeling well and I need to get home. I lived 20 minutes away. Suburban area no restrooms or stores I could drop in. So I’m about 10 minutes from home when I get this huge cramp in my side. I’m at a red light. I can’t go anywhere. The next thing I knew shit was coming out my ass. So I wait for the light to change pull up in someone’s driveway (it was dark) rip off my pants and I swear to god my ass opened up and everything I had eaten in the last week came out in a stream of foulness. I was lucky I had a change of pants in my car because I just left my shit filled jeans in a pile of stench in of the drive way. I can only imagine what that person thought when they saw it the next morning.

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