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.....worst shitting stories ever.......

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K ....and now a thread about shitting. ONLY your worst shitting stories ever.

 

 

I was flying on an airplane , early flight, and had made my normal breakfast of nicotine and a SHITLOAD of coffee. Well on a long early flight they tend to serve breakfast on the flight. I chose the eggs with sausage and a small cup of O.J. Alright first rule on an airplane, NEVER eat the meat and almost NEVER folow it up by acidic bevrages such as coffee, O.J. , apple juice......etc. K well I had at this point broken all the rules and was tapping it off by sipping a CARBONATED soda when all of a sudden something felt wrong. You know the feeling like when you think you may have left your wallet at the crack spot. Anyway, my stomache started making sounds like "lardass" in Stand By Me. Well I have had this happen before, I have bad intestines, so I was just content with waitng out to see if I was gonna need to bolt to the bathroom or just maybe rip a little ass and piss some poor folk off. About 5 minutes later, I was at an APEX. I was past getting to a bathroom on time. My guts where actually on fire and the pressure to my colon was building at an exponetial rate. But to add to the discomfort, I was getting really naseaus as well.

 

K from what I remember, I turned to the guy beside me and in between almost blacking out and screaming I actually PUKED all over the poor sap at the same time as releiving my lower intestine into my shorts. K now picture it, you puke and shit at the exact same time while sitting in an airplane seat with 2 hours of a flight left and NO change of shorts let alone clothes. Needless to say, I was VERY much hated by all around as the dank smell of of not only vomit but really runny shit wafted around the plane. I think I actually heard a guy mention that he was gonna have to "get a refund" or something.

 

K kids, you guys think you can top that?

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Guest Melburnian

hahah nah but i got a fair funny one. My dad was letting ripper farts go all day and he says to me and my brother "shhh shhh" so we went quiet and he let out a loud fart and he followed through into his pants and there was shit dropping out of the bottoms of the pants onto his shoes. he was shocked and ran to the bathroom while me and my brother were on the floor laughing our asses off. Was funny at the time.

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holy crap [haha, get it?]

 

i remember when i was little my family and i went to visit inside the statue of liberty. i had to take a shit real bad. i took a shit in my pants before getting to the restroom on time -- which was about maybe a 100 feet or so away.

 

another time, when i was little, i was at home and had to go poop. i wasn't able to unbutton the thing on my shorts and my mum was on the phone. i couldn't get the shorts off on time so i proceeded to shat my pants.

 

another time when i was in kindergarten, i was wearing one of those jumpsuit type outfits like those nascar racers have - but there's a zipper going down the front [it's a one piece]. the zipper wouldn't go down so i took another shit in my pants. then i had to tell my teacher i went doo-doo in my "pants."

 

when i went to preschool, when i had to take a poo, i would tell the lady or guy in charge i had to go poop in vietnamese. they wouldn't understand me so i took a shit in my pants.

 

when i was a a real youngin,' in one of those bathtubs for babies, i took a shit and ate it. that's what my mum tells me. i can't remember it.

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Originally posted by Melburnian

hahah nah but i got a fair funny one. My dad was letting ripper farts go all day and he says to me and my brother "shhh shhh" so we went quiet and he let out a loud fart and he followed through into his pants and there was shit dropping out of the bottoms of the pants onto his shoes. he was shocked and ran to the bathroom while me and my brother were on the floor laughing our asses off. Was funny at the time.

 

haha that reminds me.

 

when i was watching TV at my grandparents' house with my cousins, i let out a wet fart. i stood up and there was diamond-shaped brown stain on the sofa. till this day, i think the shit stain on the shorts are still there...but it's probably at the thrift store or something.

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Guest -MOE LESTER-
Originally posted by swif1

holy crap [haha, get it?]

 

 

 

when i was a a real youngin,' in one of those bathtubs for babies, i took a shit and ate it. that's what my mum tells me. i can't remember it.

 

hahahahahahaha that exact same shit happened to me when i was small.....took a floater while being bathed by my mom...boy was she surprised

 

 

another time when i was about 5...i was at this huge clothing outlet store...and i needed to go bad!!!! so i ran around the entire store for like 5 minutes holding it in...and as i walked past a window..i see a porter potty on the other side....but heres the thing...the exit was all away on the other side, so i had to run all the way through the store..to the exit, and all the way back around to the porter potty...i was like 3 seconds away when i lost it and shat my pants...i went into the porter potty and like panicked for 10 minutes....as i took my shit stained under pants, wrapped it in a buddle of toilet paper, and walked back into the store and threw it in a garbage can....and for like the next week i felt really bad because i felt sorry for the lonely underpants sitting in the store garbage can...i was a weird kid...i thought material possesions had lives

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Originally posted by GUNDAM

Change your name to SHIT1, Swif1 it suits you so much better after hearing your stories

 

hahaha...i just might :rolleyes:

Originally posted by -MOE LESTER-

...i thought material possesions had lives

hahahaha

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Nothing to bad on my side of shitting. But when I was about 4 my dad took me into his work of which is a studio of a TV station. I was muchking around with nun chucks and ninja swords and other shit when I realised I had to pee. I couldnt unlock the door because I wasnt tall enough yet [the lock was at the top of the door] so I ran around looking for botles to piss in. Found a few ran around looking for somewhere in case someone came in and found a neat spot. Started pissing in the bottle only to realise that it had been filled with some sort of hardened plastic inside it so I had to take a leak on this bunch of rags which I new were being thrown out. But because I had to piss so much it went through the rags and I had forgoten that the floor on which I was on was a metel floor [like construction metal for walkways with holes everywhere] and the piss went all over someones desk downstairs.........I couldn`t stop laughing and eventually my dad came to get me to go home. I was lucky because it was a Sunday and no one was in the office but I would have paid money to see the persons reaction on there face when they smelt there desk.

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Guest ctrl+alt+del

i really only have good ones...

its kind of fun.

i get peace and quiet when im squatting on the shitter.

 

i DO remember when i was like 6 i was outside when the urge started coming, so i rushed inside (i was far far away) im not sure if i made it. i forget. but thats probably the only negative experience ive had so far.

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Originally posted by When

umm okay this happened to a uhh friend of mine yea...

so my friends truck breaks down so he has to get a rental car

he goes to a party and meets a really hot girl

he decideds to blow the party and take the chick back to the back seat of the rental, things are going good nakedness occurs and they start fucking like wild dogs. a bit later he tells her hes gonna finish soon she acknowledges the fact and they keep going at it, he tells her again that hes gonna finish in like 2 seconds... just as he is about to cum she shoves something up his ass, he screams in pain as he cums and at the same time shits all over the back seat, i guess if something is up your ass when you cum you instantly shit, well anyways he is freaked out and runs back into the house to clean up, he comes out about 3 minutes later to find the chick rubbing her face in his shit, he proceeds to yell at the chick while she is face deep in his shit, then she runs off down the street shit on face never to be seen by him again

 

note: if he ever does see her again hes gonna yell at that bitch till her ears bleed :heated:

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i remember a couple years back me and a homie were walking around and what not when we ran into some of his other friends that wanted to go steal forties...well i had plans so i had to split but i had to go to his house first to get my stuff...he didnt want to walk to his house with me so he gave me his key to get in....so there i was in my friends house that i have only been to a few times and im all alone....so i proceed to grab my stuff when it hit me...i had to shit really bad and i couldnt make the walk to my house so i went to take a crapola in his house....after i had been sitting there for no longer than 3 minutes i hear footsteps coming toward the door...they stopped right in front of the door and then boom his dad bursts through the door with his rifle in my face thinking i was a theif....that scared the shit right out of me....shit was crazy all i could think of when he came bustin through the door was im gonna die taking a shit...ahhh memories

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my mom told me that when me and my brother were babies we used scoop out shit from our diapers and paint our cribs with it. gnarly

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ok

i was in the car with my cousin and my dad , we were drivin back to my

cousins house and i had that burning pain around your stomach telling you

you have to take a huge crap right at that moment , and the car ride was getting

long as , but i held on in a large amount of pain , get back to my cousins house

and make my way speedidly to the toilet , and find out i only had to rip a fart .

i found it fairly unusual but glad my bowels didnt colapse , as i got up , all the shit

i had been previously expecting blasted out my arse all over my cousin and my aunts towels , toothbrushes and other assorted toiletries . i then did the most rushed clean up job , scrubbed everything , washed the towels and brushes , and never told them , even though the bathroom smelled like something had been killed in there .

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interesting stories, but i think When's story beats all. i've read it before months back and that has to be the roughest story.

 

has anyone ever taken a shit only to come out looking like a pile of mud? or how about some frothy diarrhea?

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well,

 

 

once in pre-kinder i thought id be funny to take a shit in the sink, so i did.

 

another time i was taking a shit when a really strong tremor happened.

so i ran outside with my pants down.

 

another time i was visiting some church in manhattan with my family and i had to poop, so i went to the bathroom, and i crapped so much it wouldnt flush, so i said whatever, i left the bathroom and then some 7 foot tall body building type fucker went into the same stall i used, i ran the fuk outta there.

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

Agreed with swif... that's a pretty awful story, CAPS, but When's is by far the most horrible shit story I've ever heard.

 

Mine:

 

Originally posted by El Mamerro

My toilet has the awful habit of completely spewing out its contents whenever it gets slightly clogged, mainly because my little brother shits fucking watermelons. So me and this girl are watching a movie at my place, lights out, all chill and whatnot, and she stops the movie to go to the bathroom.

 

So I'm all chill, having no idea my little bro dropped a Lincoln log in there a few hours earlier. I hear the toilet flush, she comes back and cuddles next to me, and I hit Play. About ten minutes afterwards, I notice something black and small crawling in front of the TV. I thought it was a cockroach so I get up to go step on it... but then I realize it's been carried around by a moving puddle of water. I turn the lights on, only to realize the entire living room, hallway and dining room are COMPLETELY flooded, and that what I had thought was a cockroach was indeed a happy little piece of shit. Furthermore, similar pieces of shit were ALL over the place, getting under the sofa and slipping under doors.

 

The best part was that all that shit belonged to the girl, and she was beyond embarrased. She helped me clean the mess up on the verge of bursting in tears, and I understand her cause I was SO pissed... not at her but the whole fucking wackness of the situation. After 3 hours cleaning her shit she left still embarrased without watching the end of the movie, and thinking about it, it was the perfect opportunity to bust out an "It's alright, babe, don't you worry about it" deal and hit that azzum. Ugh, so wack, so wack. Beer,

 

El Mamerro

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who shit in the upstairs bathroom?

 

I was at my buddy's house with my two friends (girls) and my buddy....We were watching tv and laughing when all of the sudden my stomach felt so baaad. I go up stairs really nervous just as my buddies parents, his brother and all of his friends arrive...I say hi quickly and they go to the kitchen (right next to the bathroom)....I sit down on the toilet..and I know that they will be able to hear it..so didnt want to make it loud...but I coudlnt help it...it was the most disgusting shit I have ever had in my life. (sooo loud) It was black mud....with a big fist of shit in the middle....I flushed (had to flush twice)...sprayed some shit in the room and then when I get out..his dad was right outside the door and said "hey buddy" (his face looked so disgusted) I said hey and went downstairs...as I get to the basement all I hear is my buddys sister yell "WHO THE FUCK SHIT IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM!" and then everyone that heard me shit go "SHHHHHHH"....haha so emberassing

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Guest Pilau Hands

Haha those were horrible.

 

I don't remember any really bad stories, but yesterday I had pain in my gut like someone was ringing my intestines out dry. I could hardly force myself to get to the toilet, as I was busy rolling on the floor in agony asking god to remove this foul beast immaculately. The pain was almost enough to make me cry, and I started salivating like I was gonna puke, but then it all came out...

 

crabcakes? no thank you.

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I was in 3rd grade. I actually shit my pants at the bus stop.

I went to school anyway. So pretty soon everyone was complaining about the smell. Not long after that they realized it was coming from my pants. That really sucked. The thing was I kept denying it. 'I dont know what the smell is, its not me!' then the teacher pulled me aside before lunch and asked if I would want to go go home or have my parents bring a change of clothes. I said no because I denied it to her as well. That day was pure hell, that was probably the worst day of my life.

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Originally posted by Pilau Hands

Haha those were horrible.

 

I don't remember any really bad stories, but yesterday I had pain in my gut like someone was ringing my intestines out dry. I could hardly force myself to get to the toilet, as I was busy rolling on the floor in agony asking god to remove this foul beast immaculately. The pain was almost enough to make me cry, and I started salivating like I was gonna puke, but then it all came out...

 

crabcakes? no thank you.

happens to me rarely but yeah ill wake up horrible ass pains soemtimes hurts my back i woke up 4 in the morning ran like hell hoppin around tryin to get my shorts and undies off....needless to see it was gross i had been sick for osmetime so you can imagine...

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I was in sixth grade and I was a bad ass hall monitor...so im patrolling the hallways with my bestfreind who was one too..abusing our power and yelling at people, and we start hearing this weird noise from the boys bathroom...its like..."Duh did de duh did de duh" were like.. huh...so I open the door and the worst smell of shit just pours out of the bathroom in my face and I start gagging and shut the door...im like what the fuck...so I put my shirt over my nose...and walk in and this obese retarded kid morton, we called him the mortonator had shit all over his boogle boy shirt then was proceeding to take his shit and smear it all over the bathroom...then started playing the drums with it on the sink.. I slam the door and my freind throws up their right on my LA gears..so I tell him to run to the janitor and i'll make sure mortonator doesnt get out..the janitor comes and is like what's the trouble??? ah looks like you got sick huh? well thats no big deal..then my freind points to the door and he opens it..and the janitor drops everything in his hands...and starts cursing randomly starting with HOLY while the mortonator laughs and his whole body jiggles while he laughs haha...then the mental handicap teacher comes and was like "oh I didnt know morton was in here by himself gosh gosh"

the janitor is still cursing and morton is laughing the bathroom smells like shit, its covered with shit stain, and theirs vomit on my LA gears..the teacher was fired the next day...

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my grandma story burns all of yours

 

I was shopping in West Hollywood. I was just walking around, and looking at things. I walked past this grandma and she smelled REALLY BAD. Even though it was probably the most rancid smell, I didn't think anything of it because she's old. Then I saw her shaking her leg and tapping her foot.... I thought to myself "what the fuck is she doing?". Then I looked down at her feet.....

 

THERE WAS SHIT DRIPPING ALL DOWN HER LEG!!

 

Ugggggggggh. And it didn't even look like shit. It was fucking yellow and watery. GOD IT WAS SOOOOOOO GROSS! It was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in my life. She was just shaking, and wiping the shit off her shoes... everytime I think about it I want to fucking puke.

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