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Alcoholism


Step8

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making amends to my dad was one of the hardest i have done....

 

or should i say i thought it would be the hardest, it ended up being easy and freed me up from a lot of stuff.

 

i had to pay him back bread from getting over on him and being the bigger man and apologizing for some of the bad parts of the past brought us back together.

 

this was a guy who i have gone years at a time not talking to.

 

props ugene and inj.....

 

stay sober naggers.

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my naggers if you are an alcoholic....to the point you put your life in jeopardy than you shouldn't be drinking period.

 

if you are able to sip a lil bit here and there than chances are you dont have a problem with drinking.

 

the thread topic is alcoholism and therefore I guess all posts are appropriate but for those of you who are really fucking sauce addicts like me don't let anyone posting here lead you astray, you can't drink.

 

bottom line.

 

people who control their drinking are not alcoholics.

 

 

 

Let me help reiterate FR's point... this shit is important. People coming in here to talk about their moderation abilities ain't really helping the cause. For the folks here who ARE alcoholics, that kind of shit serves as an enabling device. When we're struggling to quit drinking, we'll use ANY justification we can to drink... especially someone else in the Alcoholism thread talking about how they've got a handle on things. These kinds of threads work because of the alcoholics sharing their struggle with alcohol, and how they fixed shit... I.E. got sober.

If you feel confident that you're an alcoholic, there's really only one way to remedy the problem: Not drinking... at all.

 

I ain't mad, I just know how quickly I would have mentally noted someone's successful moderation story when I was struggling prior to quitting... it could have been detrimental for me to hear that kind of shit. Hell, I'd be willing to be it played a role in all my previous failed attempts. This ain't the moderation thread. Make one if you feel like that's what your relationship with alcohol is.

 

This is to no single person, as there are many folks who it may apply to.

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i love how you guys an pull each others card and not get offended

we all know how to bullshit other people but when you deal with common addicts we all see the bullshit coming

 

i hope you all are doing alright I try to say my .02 in props so i dont forget what i wanted to say (like i am now)

 

i love Ralph's and POZ's input as well as other checking in on nurgs and genuinely showing heart for others (everyone else, really)

 

i got close with someone via this thread and he relapsed-becuase of the relapse he went bback on the streets Im actually scared he wont make it. clean now though, just because his situation.

 

ramblingon

 

back in sept I really hurt my body and had to go back on pain killers and naturally its not enough anymore my Dr got popped for Rx's so maybe thats a start for me not to go back to him at least it creates a bit of an obstacle

 

felt the need to say that i suppose i just really wanted to stop in and say you all are loved and tought about

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pain management is a whole nother story, opiates were big in my life as well, but its the rationalization/justification is what fucked you up. i was in a car wreck and got my hurt from that but had to turn it down no matter how bad it hurt.

 

some people say if you can take the meds they give you as prescribed then its not a relapse or have someone administer you the meds, but whats gonna stop you from slamming one roxy every 4-6 hours is that rly as prescribed. stay away from that shittttttt

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i remember being n the hospital (12 yrs ago) and fighting the option for morphine for fear of addiction mind you, ive had my skull opened up up 3 different times within 3 months. i was able to just do "pain management" up until 8-9 yrs ago--then justified it with my brain problems my dr would prescribe..and when i ran out,,i was back callin my street doc.

we def justify our use.

currently doin roxis and man--the fucking tolerance level scares me a lil. how quick and fast it builds.

beside my regular dr getting popped last month-my other dude just got taken in in some federal bust the other day. more obstacles gonna be real tough in a few days but i know itll pass i always does right?

 

i agree with Injury and ugene AVOID that shit at all costs

i know there are way more harsh drugs out there and a few words from other addicts wont change shit.

idk why i continue to dump inhere-i guess because there isnt anyone else who i would ever talk to about it.

 

for that i appreciate you giys

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can we talk about sex though?

 

the affects your drug/drink of choice has on your sex life?

 

before during and after use?

 

 

i generally have a hard time gettin off during sex. and realized that 12 years of numbing my body hasnt helped. during the periods when its out of my system, even for a few days...man- i cant get enough. (and i usually cant get it, so tend to 'dance' with myself a lot anywhere and anytime.

 

 

discuss

 

 

(i know this isnt the super sex thread and ive seen the topic touched (pardon the pun) in here- im just curious)

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i drank and subsequently didn't want people around me (or was it the other way around?), so in general i dont have too much to add. i will add that if a girl ever tried to reach me through the wall of isolation and self destruction i loved to build around myself, i would use her until i got sick of her or she caught on (usually the latter).

 

haven't made serious attempts at anything like a sex life in over a year (by choice). i still struggle with conversations and interpersonal relationships, so i see a long way to go before tackling that in a non-abusive way.

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Intimacy is very different sober. I have always preferred sex sober, the benefits of alcohol to the affair only existed for me a pretty narrow window of intoxication that I usually just moved right through on route to blotto. Same with most drugs, pot being the exception, at least in my memory of actually seeming to increase the sense of intimacy to some degree.

 

I am monogamous now and have been since before I quit drinking, I am not sure what being single would be like, but imagine that it would be a trip. I do not know that I could or would do some of the raw shit that I used to do in terms of casual and promiscuous fucking. In a way I would like to think that I could, just for the chemistry of it. Seems like all people do now a days is cut out the challenge and hook up online anyway, maybe the days of meeting a woman on the ferry and fucking her before the boat gets to shore are over because everyone is on their smart phones.

 

I made some regrettable decisions in the selection of sexual partners, do not miss that part.

 

Beyond that I also made some really poor relationship choices in no small due to poor self esteem, now that I have been sober and lived a bit I see things more clearly and that issue has fortunately resolved itself.

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We've all made bad choices when it comes to sexual partners, male or female. I am still waiting for 12 months to be up before actually being in a 'relationship'. Have been seeing someone because as you say, sobriety brings with it a certain burning in the loins, but the score is pretty clearly laid out with her about why I'm not doing any of the commitment stuff.

 

Which as I type it out sounds far, far more destructive than I had neatly arranged in my own little head.

 

Only problem with living in small towns and having a history, even if the person you're smitten with is new to the community, it doesn't take long for those not satisfied with their own lives to feel the need to fuck up yours; "Oh look, theP looks happy! How can we ruin that for him?"

 

Purely on the sex tip though, for me personally drunken sex is really just something to do before getting another drink. Meaningless and while I think I'm performing like a champ, I'm pretty sure the rerun video would make me cringe. Sober sex is definitely where it's at. Alcohol does deplete sex drive for almost everyone, not saying when you're loaded you don't want to bury your head somewhere, but it's more just the day to day urges that seem to subside for me.

 

Still working 7 days, working hard to try and stay sober.

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thanks for that input.

 

maybe im an ass, but i tend to keep relationships and sex in two separate corners.

obviously with relationships come sex, bt not necessarily the other way around.

 

when im clean, i tend to be a real ass. i put off men. but if one can get through- when it comes to sex..i have learned that i can (finish)

when i got some in my system, im a very lovable person. (or so i like to think)

but i never (finish) while high.

obviously its because im not numb/numb.

with no pills- i tend to 'dance with myself" several times a day.

 

maybe this is all too much..but cmon-i cant be the only one.

and since we lay it all out here..(well i lay it all around i guess) hahaha

 

men? women?

erection problems? while clean/sober? while getting sober?

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its the roxys bro, i could get up on opiates n shit but everytime i did h or roxies anything in that drug class i could never nut.. i recall you posting saying you were on roxies i hope i read that write. good ole case of "whiskey dick"

 

sounds like you are pretty powerless my man

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off the methadone, off the dope, feeling fuckin fly as hell right about now even though im broke and stuck around crackheads and shit all the time. wifey will be getting picked up from prison june third @ 9:00am and then hopefully were off to oakland. fuck milwaukee, really doe. hope everybodys doing well in the sobriety struggle. POZ what up my dude?!?! injury, morton... yall niggas stay up. audi.

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Stay up, meatloaf. Good looks.

 

I don't have erection problems, I have what Ugene is mentioning, I can maintain but cannot nut. If 'roxies' are the anti-depressants I'm on, then he nailed it, because my doctor said that's a side effect for a lot of people. Sounds 'great' - reality does not match the fantasy though. It's almost as emotionally staling as not being able to get it up at all!

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