injury Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 try to stay level, red. that's all there is to do. props on the upcoming anniversary pro. keep it up, you keep learning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brothhalynch Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 straight alcoholic livin sucks tho Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Thank Inj, and thanks to this whole thread. Funny what a bit of anonymity can do for ones self. I always figured it was destructive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crime stoppers Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 copped a fucking heinous virus (scandinavian start of winter type shit) a few weeks back, forced me off alcohol for about 6 days. until then i didn't really notice that i couldn't remember the last time i'd gone more than 1 day without drinking. i've been on the road for over two years now and in that time i'd be lucky if there was a combined total of one month where i haven't drank anything. so then i started smoking a fuckton more hydro and hash to compensate, cold went away and i got back on the wagon. i didn't have withdrawals (although the shakes i've had consistently for about 2 years went away) so i'm fairly sure my problem isn't alcohol, it's sobriety. and now i've got some stupidly good hookups for class-A shit, gotta find a balance soon before i fall off the deep end. keep on keeping on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Two years ago yesterday i stumbled down to the closest AA meeting i could find. Maybe a ten minute walk from my door. I was definitely scared. I had to step out for a moment in the middle of the meeting when i felt like i was going to vomit. But i began soaking up the wisdom offered by the regulars and got some foundation built for my sobriety. After a month and a few weeks, i felt the need to distance myself from the meetings and ended up never going back. My life continued to improve as sobriety became a solid and tangible facet of my personality. At this point I've plateaued in terms of improvement when compared to my time drinking. For the better part of that first year, every damn day felt better than the one before it. It was great. Now i feel normal for the most part. i'm used to not drinking, to not being hungover. Now stomach aches from gorging myself with food are the worst i feel, physically. The endorphins from skateboarding give me much of the same high i used to find with liquor. Anxiety comes and goes. I don't fully understand the point of most social functions anymore. I find that they often mirror high school hallways; just a place to be seen wearing your most recently purchased clothes and hold contrived conversations with people you are indifferent toward. I'm happy being something of a hermit, skateboarding as much as i can, and enjoying my work. I sometimes romanticize the drinking i used to do, which is really what pushed it to the point of becoming addiction, but i hit a low enough low that it's easy to bring myself back to reality with those awful memories. I'm not unlike someone who was attacked by a dog as a child, and who will never live down that ingrained fear. Anyway, I hope you're all doing well. Be safe, Red. Good work protestor and the other folks at the beginning of, or contemplating the trip. Inj, super stoked to see you keeping at it dude. FR, i'm gonna shoot you a PM when i have more time regarding your counseling path and all that. I've been entertaining the idea of pursuing education in the substance abuse field. here's to another year sober... 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 Word up to POZ on 2 years. Really happy for you dude, you deserve it. I also stopped because of medicine i had to take. It wasn't that hard. Moving closer to my favorite bar/restaurant..that's gonna be hard. Either way I feel better. For the better part of the month stone cold sober, you really do end up appreciating things in your life end even the day. Friend told me yesterday starting sober is like learning how to do everything for the first time again. Got a few goals I need to work for, slowly tryna find a job, and hopefully more of a permanent place to live. Then get myself a nice woman and a dog. Gonna try to focus on that which is a big enough distraction to try to focus on and improve quality of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Feed Yer Ego Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 i spent a night in lock up at the beginning of the month and i'm sure yall know how that shit gets when you go in drunk and sober up and are stuck staring at blank walls maybe have withdrawals. thought about my life non-stop. my birthday was coming up (it was the 11th). thought about everything i should/could do. thought i'd start cutting back/weening off and finally blow everyone's mind and quit drinking on my birthday. after getting bailed out i told my three recovering friends and my recovering crush/shorty/partner-in-weird my plans/thoughts/feels. did 3 days sober, then had a 40 and a shot. then did two or three days again. then the birthdays came. my sister's on the 8th, bestfriend's on the 9th. sober the 10th. tanked on my bday the 11th. the 12th i went to my first meeting with shorty. sober sunday. freaked out monday cuz bad morning. went to the bar and got super trashed. shorty hit me up to hang out and then go to a last call meeting...she get pissed when i told her what had happened...but she was more mad i was being a longwinded bitch about everything and i came off stupid and shit got misread sober yesterday sober today. even tho i went into a bar. and had a long bus/train trips with many transfers where i could've gotten drinks. shorty isn't mad anymore and we hung out all night after my long ass transit. can't sleep for shit afterwards tho despite sleeping pills and kava tea but this movie "You Kill Me" is on about an alcoholic assassin who's crime family sends him outwest to dry out and they hire a guy to make sure he goes to AA meetings and his new legit job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 I'm hearing you, Feeder. Haven't seen the movie, but I've watched Bill W. a fair few times now. It's all one day at a time, for all of us, yo. A lot of people focus on that sober time, counting and measuring, I wouldn't want anyone to hate on themself for having a lapse of judgement - each day is as important as the last. Wasn't sure if this is worth posting in here; http://www.theguardian.com/sport/video/2013/aug/27/mike-tyson-drink-drugs-alcoholic-video?CMP=dis_829 A lot of people are a lot of things, and we're all different, in different life situations, but isn't it amazing how close we all are in thought processes? Stay up, yo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 It's all one day at a time, for all of us, yo. A lot of people focus on that sober time, counting and measuring, I wouldn't want anyone to hate on themself for having a lapse of judgement - each day is as important as the last. time is also valuable when talking about being vigilant ... because it's easy to autopilot this shit especially after you've got a lot of time under your belt. it's so easy to take it for granted, that's how i relapsed. one day at a time, deciding "i'm not gonna drink today" is all it takes. respect to POZ for his years, and everyone else out there. had a lot of this (sobriety/etc) on my mind lately .. friend of a friend OD'd the other day, had relapsed and was trying to rejoin the program after surgery and self-medicating on pain meds. never met the dude but my friend is unhappy about it. his own words were "i've seen enough relapses/deaths in my time in this program that it doesn't really faze me that much anymore" it's nice & comfortable to forget that this shit can/will kill you if you give it the chance. remembering how deep i got in it myself has been tempering the cravings this week. considering an exercise program or diet change to help fight them next week and beyond ... sick of 'em. stay up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 ^^^Remembering just how far you let your self go is a good way to stay sober when it gets rough.... POZ that shit was well said, props on the 2 year mark. Huge. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted October 20, 2013 Share Posted October 20, 2013 2 years is amazing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 been losing it. feeling embarrassed and mad anxious. I don't even plan to drink, and don't know how it happens that I even manage to walk home sometimes. a drink to pass the time in awkward situation then a blackout. textbook alcoholism. feeling like a real bastard. and I was just doing sooooo good too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 Today is a new day, Sleazey. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 ^^ keep your head up sleaze ... this shit isn't easy. i keep thinking about what i heard this one woman say in a meeting from the weekend ... she was probably 26-27, tall, nice enough, real attractive - remarking how she went to a work happy hour-type event, for the first time in a long time. she's been sober for 5-6 years and spoke on how she forgot what being hit on, or getting public attention in public felt like at all, that it was nice and she missed it. spends all her fridays in meetings, most saturdays. fucking pity that people choose to live their life like that. only seems like you swap one form of lonely misery for another Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 I fully agree with that^^^ People need to understand you go to meetings or stop drinking to live your life.....not the other way around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 so from that last time a week ago, i guess i was acting really stupid(drunk)...word spread fast, and i feel really embarrassed. possibly tarnished my reputation a bit. sucks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 I care more about what you think of you, not what other people do. You should be your motivation for change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sleazeside Heights Posted October 25, 2013 Share Posted October 25, 2013 Pro, you are wise. I'm hoping the new job will give me some kind of structure. I feel I have trouble being an adult almost all of the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 Pro, you are wise. I'm hoping the new job will give me some kind of structure. I feel I have trouble being an adult almost all of the time. eeh. might give you structure but don't rely on it for anything else, like a feeling of contention. i thought a job would do the same for me .. not the case. also, being an adult isn't fun and doesn't come naturally for anyone i know in recovery, you're not alone. be yourself, it's a lot easier than trying to be an "adult" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
injury Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 hope all are doing alright. been angry at this addiction this weekend. angry that i've got it for the rest of my life. need to get out of my head Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 did some work with my sponsor for the first time in almost a year.... been to about 3 meetings in 6 months. stay strong mofos. put in the work you get the results, dont put in the work you get the results Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theprotester Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brothhalynch Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 im not drunk yet fuck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GettinLaid Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 everyone in here seems to have been/be on the user/abuser side. what about the support end of it? how does one support an addict? i know its such a vague question and a very individualized topic...but maybe some of you can share a bit about the people in your life that supported you? im trying to stand by the side of someone i care about. Thought i was dong the right thing...until relapse happened. recently. i see how others in their life talk down and almost write them for dead because of long time drug use-i see it doesnt help AT ALL. what have people close to you done to support you and still be a part of your life now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
morton Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 The line between support and enabling is so thin that I think it is better to err on the side of less rather than more support. The folks I used to do dope with were of high enough stature that they did not come around or offer to get me high when I made the decision to go sober. That was the helpful. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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