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Step8

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How do you guys deal with the irritability?

pretty much what POZ said, exactly:

 

... I'd assume any exercise would yield a similar result... often times I realize that the only effect of being pissed about something that is out of my control is that I'm pissed, and that often just serves to alienate people.

 

so i fight my irritation and misunderstanding in life both of these ways. outright anger has never been my thing, but bitter cynicism is. i will find an excuse to think and say that everything is shit, all the time. this isn't really the case and makes you into quite a miserable person to talk to.

 

my exercise is walking and painting. relentlessly. i walk 15-25 miles/week. it's tiring, i love it, especially when the weather is ok. walking and writing go together. i've been vocal about this before but graff has helped tremendously with my sobriety. it exhausts me physically and creatively and (if i'm doing a big piece i'm invested in) emotionally. i don't have much energy left to hate afterwards.

 

the mind is harder to change. it's taken a lot of interactions with people to convince me that they're not all bad. it's taken a lot of listening to people with tougher demons than i have to realize that i am not really all that worth getting upset about when something doesn't go my way. that's also a warped view of things, but it works for me.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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congrats shittles.

 

checking in here.

someone in my homegroup took their life last week, a good dude. it was sudden and surprising: he had a few years, a new job, and things on the outside seemed alright.

 

a lot of us hate to ask for help, especially when we're bleeding.

do it anyway.

it may save your life.

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  • 4 weeks later...

sincerely, i hope he checks in at some point.

 

i'm beginning to get to know/date a girl who's not in 12-step world and doesn't have (to my knowledge) substance issues. it's intimidating.

 

i took for granted that the majority of new people i've met in the past few years have been other people with addictions. in a way, it is like having a set of social training wheels: you can make an educated guess at what sorts of things drive them, what motivates them, what irritates them, how rational or irrational they may be. there are a lot of things that it is safe-ish to assume.

 

not so with this girl.

 

this will be a real chance to get to know someone for who they are, no recovery involved - and to let them into my life, as well, which is something that i hate to do and often downright scares me.

 

one day, one interaction at a time.

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my man is basically straight edge. his major vices are graf and soda.

it impresses me. i swear his whole fam has the 'sober' gene. ppl drink but NO ONE gets fucked up, including the youngsters.

 

i love it actually. i've known so many people with dependency issues. so so many. it gets REAL old after awhile.

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  • 2 weeks later...
struggling. it's been an everyday thing. first night in a long time i didn't drink, my liver hurts. i need to take astep back and focus on other things.

The struggle is real. I hate that phrase but it is true and worth it. Don't quit quitting.

 

There was a time when I thought that not drinking would mean not being true to who I was but the sober me realizes what a fucking cop out that is/was. You can do it.

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struggling. it's been an everyday thing. first night in a long time i didn't drink, my liver hurts. i need to take astep back and focus on other things.

 

daily drinking is such an easy habit to fall into. i couldn't break it on my own.

it is hard to re-wire such easy and comfortable habits.

 

i really feel this. i think a lot of us do.

2 beers after work became six which became 15 (seriously) -- for me, this (i hope!) isn't in your future.

 

The struggle is real. I hate that phrase but it is true and worth it. Don't quit quitting.

 

There was a time when I thought that not drinking would mean not being true to who I was but the sober me realizes what a fucking cop out that is/was. You can do it.

 

seconding this.

i've never been closer to the man i am (shy and weird as i am) as i am sober. it seems that people prefer it.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

i really eased up on the weed last month.

took an entire week off while at home - a first in probably over 15 years. only drank a smidge. didn't even get drunk. then went on vacation and didn't smoke anything or drink for two weeks.

 

came back and i've been super good about hardly smoking anything.. a very, very tiny bowl around 9pm.

but no drinks and no bong. actually feels pretty good.

i think i'm on a winding path to sobriety, finally, after decades of a smoke addled brain

for me i think it's mostly about breaking a habit, and less about stopping something i NEED to do

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a guy at my meeting tonight has 15 days, and he shared.

 

at 10 days in, he was between hitting a meeting and going to the bar with a friend for a belated birthday celebration (newly sober dude's birthday). decided on a meeting - wasn't really feeling going out that night, birthday or not.

 

his friend wrapped his car around a tree driving home from the bar that night.

the funeral was just the other day.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Fuckin' hell Breakfast....

 

thought I'd stick my head in the door here...

 

Glad everyone seems to be doing ok... I've not been great this year, but not as bad as i used to be, everything seems to go back to my bad ways round about christmas time and i get in the habits of daily drinking again and it takes months for me to get out the loop.... catching up with people I haven't seen all year and the place everyone goes is the pub... my luck has been shite this year and the previous wasn't much better... but things are slowly starting to look up, moving into a new hoose soon, and starting a new job next week too... plus i'm trying to get into creative projects which should keep me busy enough to keep oot the boozer and hopefully make me a bit of extra cash which would be nice...

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I never could really get in to drinking. My 21st was this year and I didn't even bother myself to even by some liquor. One of my best friends from HS is going down the path of drinking way too much in my opinion and it always sucks because he's the type of drunk who because they don't act stupid they think they are in full control. He's a drunken driver, and so far hes never got in to any problems. My vice has become the weed. Its made me quite an asshole I'd say. I didn't start smoking until after my accident and its just been a steady thing ever since. It got to the point where I would drive on E to pick people up just to smoke. I have slowed down now but the thought of smoking can set me off to having a terrible mood and me throwing fits of anger because of it. Mostly stemming from a lack of funds and me playing the victim card though. Worse part about it is I know I'm being a selfish asshole but yet it just happens.

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Shit breakfast menu that is terrible. Stay up everyone.

silba, the weed is good at preventing me from drinking but after years of smoking, I am tired of memory loss.

Every time i quit smoking I end up drinking or doing stupid wild stuff though. Its like a loop of substance abuse.

I have found that nerding out on some games is a good distraction to getting fucked up in leisure time but it doesn't exactly get you out and about socially.

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  • 2 weeks later...

After a little over seven months I just recently relapsed - coming to you live from a hospital bed. Time of year somewhat, but more so failing at acheiving some personal goals. I also felt so isolated and then the first time I went out for a beer in public I lined up a week worth of dinners, lunches and an event to go to.

 

Thought after those seven months I had slayed the beast, but I hadn't.

 

One is too many, etc.

 

Stay up gang.

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Damn, Pro. Onwards and Upwards.

 

Heads up everybody.

 

Here's a funny story for you to make the day a little lighter.

 

So my brother's girlfriend's family won't let her come over for Thanksgiving because she said her throat hurts. They assume that she's sick and they don't want to be around her for the holiday. The truth is that she is absolutely not sick, my brother was just going to town on her face...

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