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Alcoholism


Step8

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So I was drinking with a friend, more than we should have been. He was such a mess and that basically ruined my living situation. I was responsible for him though, so his consequences became mine. So basically the chain of events have caused me to jump into a really terrible disgusting turdhole of an apartment. It's depressing, and I almost certainly cannot take a lady there. But it's just me now, and the reality of the situation can be quite a motivator. I want to move up, not down. I do not want to be there, so I'm going to have to take steps to do right in my life. Haven't had a drink in 3 days, and am not interested in doing so now. Reading, skating, biking, and trying to better myself. I have some great friends, and even though my place sucks, I'm not homeless. I just have to be careful because of the high crime rate, and hope I don't get raped. Wish me luck and clairvoyance.

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Last night I said I was gonna drink my anger away and after the first two beers, I was disappointed in myself enough to not have the third beer.

I realized that hurting myself more doesn't make the problem go away, forgetting about the problem doesn't make it go away, so why not spend time trying to solve the problem rather than acting like it doesn't exist.

Progress.

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thanks dudes, it's been 6 days. pushing forward, albeit slowly.

 

note to self: don't look at pics of ex. No matter how beautiful she is, it just bums you out and makes you want to sit at the smoky dive bar and listen to sad country songs, and that's not cool.

 

So I'm going to try and stop buying packs of my harsh american spirits, and try the e-cig out.

been a few days with out a bogey, but I'm not craving bad.

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Thanks, same to you. Wish I wasn't so clumsy about spilling my somewhat sporadic stream of consciousnes/trifflin drama in this thread, which is easy to do since it feels safe. I wish I wasn't so easily affected by life sometimes, but it's the thinker in me. All the people I really care about are also deep thinkers as well. Always on the quest for something more and meaningful in life, and guess I turn to booze when I can't find it or real life bores me. Many of those friends do the same. Finding replacement activities. I have no internet, and a p.o.s. computer, but I've been flicking like a motherfucker, and will share when I get myself a new machine. Something that gives me pure sober joy. That and Dogs, God's masterpieces. Anyway, I'll stop before I start rambling, yet again. stay up everyone.

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Doc switched me off of xanax and onto klonopin so that it won't be quite as habit forming, I take it once a day, .5mg, along with an antidepressant.

This combination of medicine, along with the right diet and exercise, have me cut back to only 2-3 12oz (355ml) beers a day, or 2 glasses of wine if that's what I'm drinking. No liquor for me anymore, my liver levels are finally back into normal range for a person my age.

Not sure how many of you have had liver tests done, but apparently my GGT was up over 150 about 6 months ago, and now it is right around 80. Take care of yourselves, it is the number one priority in life.

Take care of life to stay alive, or else just go ahead and fucking die already. I'm choosing life.

 

I Mean no offense by this but, I don't understand the anti depressant/Xanax combo. DO you legitimately need them or is it to compensate for the lack of alcohol? My best friend is goin down fast. He just got off 2 years probation for booze related offenses and he didn't have a drop for the whole time (kind of). He got a Dr to give him Xanax and an anti depressant. I have known him 30 years. he does not need them, especially at the doses he got. .5mg 3 times a day and then a full mg for whenever he needs extra plus the antiD. He flat out told me this was to compensate while he was on probation. he went off probation and now he is crushing a 30 rack a day plus at least 4.5 mgs of Xanax as well as antidepressants. he cant remember a conversation he had 20 minutes ago slurs to the point you cant understand him, no job, no money, no car/licence, no place to live in 60 days. I'm pushing him to go into a program but IDK if it is gonna happen. Do I need to let him completely fail or what can I do?

 

I went to his house yesterday after work and he was passed out with the front door open. I stole all his beer. I think he stole his mom's car to get more.

 

I see my uncle in him. I watched him drink himself to death. it almost destroyed my mom.

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Sorry for your best friend, he is certainly not taking these medicines as prescribed or acting responsibly, and this is a form of behavior that has obviously followed him for quite some time.

 

I am not that guy. These medicines are not a response to reducing alcohol, but they are curbing my desire to drink as a side effect.

 

Currently in a job that is ok I guess but i'm not learning anything, my wife just started her doctorate degree, we are closing on our new house in less than a week, and I am handling all of this in stride.

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Thank you for your responses i appreciate them. Red, it sounds like you are doing good, thats great stay strong.

HIs mom is now living with his sister. His sister is married very well paid with kids and a good husband who is a successful entrepreneur. They are very stable but 3 states away. His dad passed 5 months ago and that along with getting of probe set him up for this. He is in the family house by himself which has sold, until Oct when ownership is transferred. My goal is get him in a program then up to NH with his fam for a while. We are giving him until the end of the month to get a job. If not we are getting his sister and about 5 of us (my wedding party) to give him an ultimatum.

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Tax, that's rough. Tough spot to be in, but a real friend will tell someone they are concerned, and do what they can do to help them out. If you see him falling, you can reach out and lend a hand. You could save a bad situation from getting worse, or stand by and let it go. Not everyone takes criticism easily, or wants to be helped. But you know him, and know how to deal best.

Hope whatever happens goes smoothly.

 

 

So I'm quitting smoking. Haven't had one since saturday, and don't plan to buy a pack. That's when it gets ya back. I feel like now's the time. Haven't drank in a week, and that makes not smoking much easier. The two go hand in hand. Been feeling good so far!

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good shit redeye.

hopefully it motivates some.

 

hows everyone doing?

 

i have gotten to know someone who has hit 108 days clean.

we have def helped eachother.

it has been very trying- that is no shit.

i commend anyone fighting it or even coming to the decision to attempt to get clean.

 

keep your intentions solid and do it for yourself

 

love you guys.

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we out here.

 

 

sad to hear that Jade passed away...

 

couple times in the last few weeks I felt like drinking, dealing with that I feel like it comes from being angry.

 

 

I have been training BJJ for the last month, it really does a lot to be active and push your body with healthy things.

 

keep it up dudes.

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