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Alcoholism


Step8

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Day 16 and struggling.

Tonight was an awesome meeting but I am struggling with the 5th step. I randomly called a cat from the meeting and asked them to be my sponsor. I am preemptively working step 8 and have no clue how to go about it. Any one want to claim my name and tell UP I'm sorry :)

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yeah neither do i, but once you get past that its not so bad. god can be whatever you want it to be, like you wife or kids or something. step 8 is tough and prob not something u should be worrying about with 16 days clean man...if your sponsor is having you do that already....get a new sponsor...seriously. you need to worry about yourself right now. step 8 will come along when the time is right man

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why is step 5 that difficult?

 

I've done a lot of shit over the course of my drinking career that I am truly ashamed of. Just revisiting them on paper sucks and saying it out loud is going to be even rougher. I see the necessity, to clean out the gutters and not letting the past cloud the future, owning my thoughts and actions so I can move forward but damn, I know it's a process that will take a lifetime and I shouldn't have any expectations at all, especially that it would be easy.

 

I am still of the instant gratification mindset and really should start getting out of that frame.

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While I do see that step 8 is hard, probably would be my hardest step if I did this, why is step 5 that difficult?

 

I do not think I would ever do the 12 steps, due to me not believing in god.

 

 

most folks think that step 5 is hard because you are admitting all you faults to yourself and another person.

 

If you do the step right, that means every time you got over on people, all the times you fucked over friends and family....all the fucked up perved out stuff you have done etc.

 

Plus all the resentments you have against people, most people have a bunch."I'm mad my pops used to fuck me up." "The nun at school used to peep my dick and rub her tits in my face." Shit like that, which can be hard to admit.

 

Literally you are supposed to come clean on everything. The idea being that this frees you from the guilt of suppressing all your bullshit and getting all fucked up because you live in fear of anyone finding out your secrets.

 

Honestly, when I did my 5th step I was feeling hella nervous and had anxiety about telling my sponsor all the fucked up shit I had done. As I started dropping the rock I felt like I was not going to be able to do it...

 

Then as I started to break down everything I actually did feel better getting things off my chest. And I have done some fucked up shit.

 

One thing is you need to trust your sponsor isn't going to put your business out on front street. With all the years I have been in the program I haven't heard about that happening very much if at all.

 

In fact the 2 sponsors I have had have both told me dirt on themselves and that made me feel cooler about dropping some scust on myself.

 

As far as the 8th step that is making a list of the folks that you have wronged and being willing to make amends to them. It's step 9 that you are actually going face to face with people and making amends.

 

I have actually tracked down dudes that I robbed and paid them. Imagine that.

 

Anyway folks keep doing it however you're doing it.

 

Peace.

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@ CILONE/SK

 

God is just a word to define a concept. It has nothing to do with any organized religion and the big book has an entire "Chapter To The Agnostics". By and large, I still say fuck christianity but I accept that there is a power greater than me (I wouldn't have thought there was anything greater than me :))

 

My main problem with the big book is that it was written in 1936 and the language they use shows. (Whoopee party? She has been so accustomed to wearing the trousers??} I'm a supporter of the program but not a fanatic. If you can stay sober by some other means, peace to you and yours. I tried willpower and failed so why not try this?

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step 8 isn't a step you need to worry about until you finish step 7; and it doesn't sounds like you're there yet. So no worries.

It gets easier with time, which is easy to say, but hard to accept it if you're into the instant gratification (I was because I was there too once... still am, just in different ways now).

I don't think i got to my 4th step until i was at least about a year sober. Maybe more (not counting my treatment 4th step).

Shit's gonna get tough inevitably but that's when I rely on my G.O.D. (group of drunks) to have my back. Some of my best friends are either sober or know what I'm up against and it's best to surround yourself with positivity (If that's your goal).

Real recognize real, hang with the winners.

Much love and hang in there cause it's worth it.

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  • 2 weeks later...

yeeeeup. still at it. a year ago right now, i was dealing with some heavy shit, digging myself out of that hole... now my life is incredible. worth it? fuck yeah.

 

If any of you dudes struggling (or not, either way) want my celly to have someone to hit up when you're on the verge of faltering, holler. I'd be more than happy to help remind you why that shit is lame. I'm not on that program tip, but i think i could make some sort of freelance sponsor type deal. figured i'd throw that out there as a means of support since i'm rarely on here to ramble my findings...

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2 years ago I had drug induced psychosis and gave up the weed but began drinking more and more now recognizing that I'm an alcoholic gonna try meetings and not hang out with certain people I'm trying to fill my time with art school and music which is sometimes hard because I have no sober friends who I do this stuff with

I basically made the decision today to become sober and quit cigs as well

would be nice to hear some advice for the very first week

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Inj thanks.

Fell asleep mid tag on a bench with the marker in my hand. CDs charge graffiti charge. It wouldn't be terrible except its not the first time for any of these charges. I'm super depressed now like how could I be so dumb. Not to mention all the work I put in went to waste.

 

Don't relapse. Shits so not worth it.

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The work is not wasted just because of a relapse. It is what you do next that will make the difference.

 

We are all working the same 24 hours, some of us just got more of em in a row. If you go back to the one day model you will be fine.

 

The legalization of marijuana here in Washington has had the addict in me doing all kinds of mental math about how to rationalize getting high again. In the end I know the answer for me is to continue a path free from mind altering substances regardless.

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i think i may be an alcoholic.

 

alcohol is getting in the way of my school work and is affecting my personality and health in an extremely negative way.

 

i embarrass myself on a regular basis under the influence of alcohol.

 

i have been arrested many times while under the influence of alcohol.

 

i steal alcohol/steal for alcohol.

 

i am completely blacked-out drunk 3-5 nights a week. i hide this from my girlfriend that transfered to a school 100 miles away from me. she would dump my ass if she knew about my drinking habits.

 

i am drunk right now.

 

i realize that this is ruining my life. i feel this way often, but i know i will be drinking in an irresponsible way soon again in the future.

 

I posted this in April of 2010 and my alcohol problem got WAY worse.... but fortunately I had a life changing experience 7 months ago and have been 100% completely sober since.

 

I still smoke pot, but that was never the problem that my daily use of alcohol was.

 

I must say, things are definitely different now. I am finally strong enough to hang out with people that are gettin their crunk on without giving into temptation. I actually find myself getting bitter now, I absolutely cannot stand being around idiotic drunk people anymore. But I know people had to deal with way worse shit when my ass was getting annihilated, pissing my own pants drunk.

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Tonight I was at the first non-homegroup, non-commitment meeting I have been to in ages and ages; I went with a friend that went off the deep end not too long ago. It was nice to see faces other than the ones see every week.

 

Helping other people has always helped me, provided I go into the situation in the help-them not help-myself mode. When I honestly go to help them I [inadvertently] help myself.

 

Honesty is key; demons can't hide in the dark. Took a long while to man up and be straight up.

 

These are 2 reasons I go to meetings; but I totally dig it if it ain't your thing, but I'd say worth checking out since its better than the potential alternative

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