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Alcoholism


Step8

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Might just not be your time yet.

 

A lot of people in my program had bottomed the fuck out and came to one of a few realizations, usually something like "I ruined myself and am physically incapable of living this way" or "I lost a good friend/spouse/etc and it was because of alcohol and i want to stop" or "My situation is shitty and alcohol makes it this way."

 

If you don't want to change ... you won't.

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been having a bunch of shit to deal with lately....it is hard to do it without the escape using gives.

 

but i have been staying sober because i know it is what is best for me. even took a day off just to hit up a meeting, chill and get some perspective. and guess what the conclusion was, life is hard at times man.

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It's been awhile since I've posted in this thread so even though I'm not an alcoholic, I guess I can give an update. Stopped my multiple times daily IV heroin usage on December 11th... well actually the 12th, the 11th was the last day I used. Got a couple 8mg Suboxones and went from there. I've relapsed twice since I've "quit". Once on December 20th, the other on New Years Eve.

 

I don't know if it's the fact that I had Suboxone in me (works as an opiate blocker at higher doses- meaning you can do dope, but won't get high, so it's pointless) from days before, but each time I used, it was very unsatisfying. I was high for maybe a half hour tops, then back to normal. Wasn't worth it to me. I'm starting to get used to life without heroin, after years of being doped up all the time it's quite an adjustment. I will say that it seems I'm spending more time with my family and communicating better with them overall.

 

A lot of the friends I have use, and I know everyone says "you can't keep talking to using friends"- but it's hard, mostly because I've had these friends long before any of us even knew what heroin was, became junkies with them, and have stopped being junkies with them (well one of them at least). I have had drug acquaintances calling me, asking me if I can find them anything. I tell them that I'm clean, and then they ask "if I drive, will you go down there and get me a bag?". Really? You really expect me to go score dope for you, risk a felony, have to deal with the dopeman and his waiting games sitting on a hot block, so you can get high? And you're not even a friend- just a drug acquaintance? Fuckouttahere. At that point I tell them never to call me again. So far, it's worked.

 

Anyways, sorry for the long post. Hope everyone that is struggling finds that it's getting easier, or at least are making steps so that it's easier in the future. Keep at it.

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Congrats on ten days!

 

And although you did not ask here are a couple of my thoughts on the whole friends thing.

 

My experience was such that I needed to take a real break from my doping partners when I cleaned up. By the time I was straight one was dead, one in prison, one out of state and another still around and using. I found that I did not really have anything to talk about with em anymore.

 

Ten + years later I am in casual contact with a couple of folks from that period in my life and I can not say that taking a year out contact really had any impact. Your real friends will still be around in a while assuming that they do not die.

 

To Ralphy, life is hard all the time and that is okay. Especially being a new parent, I recall that period with amazement at what I was able to endure. Things get easier with that as well.

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Care to share the few simple suggestions with the thread?

 

thnx

 

 

When I asked my sponsor to sponsor me, he asked me if I was willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. (as it says in the book, "if you are willing to go to any lengths, then you are ready to take certain steps") I was miserable enough to say yes. He pointed out to me that he wouldnt ask me to do anything he hadnt already done, or wasnt willing to do. For the first week. I was asked to call my sponsor every day. Get to a meeting every day. And, to pray every day. I was told that it didnt matter whether or not I wanted to do said actions..it was just important that they be done. I did this, and he then started me on working the steps. I was willing to do all this because for me, things had really gotten that bad...and I had tried everything I knew how to feel better, and nothing I thought of worked. I didnt feel like I had any other option.

 

 

Also..Manute. Offer still stands.

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On the real, is quitting and staying quit have anything to do with occupying your time? I do not smoke, but I heard that smokers who quit, just do not know what to do with themselves, so they eat or get a hobby or something like that.

 

Is quitting drinking easier if you have hobbies and other things to occupy your time/mind instead of thinking about drinking?

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gingers-have-red-pubix.jpg

 

 

have started to feel like I am going to shake this slump....

 

bottom line, most important thing, I didn't drink over any of this shit. Havent had a drink in 4 years, wouldnt have the wonderful things I have if I had never decided to quit.

 

hitting a meeting in a couple hours.....going to stay positive about this prospective job i been stressin off. fuck it, if it happens it happens.

 

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Is quitting drinking easier if you have hobbies and other things to occupy your time/mind instead of thinking about drinking?

 

i never even got much done while drinking.....since i stopped a world of accomplishments.

recording my 3rd album, money in savings, doing so much other stuff i would never have considered when priority was getting loaded.

 

no doubt most of my friday and saturday nights are spent chilling out these days....kick it at home a lot more. sometimes it sucks not going out with all the hoodlums an shit...but to be honest i wouldnt trade it.

 

the thinking about drinking is going to happen...its how you think about it that matters

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For me, its important to accept that because I have an addiction problem, I am physically different from those who dont. My brain also functions differently, so I have to understand that its perfectly normal to think about drinking and getting high. I do so fairly frequently. The difference is that I no longer obsess about it. I am no longer pre-occupied with these thoughts and because of that, I am able to do other things well. I got to this point by 'doing the whole AA thing.' It helps me to have stuff to do also, I get myself into trouble sitting alone trying to talk myself out of poor choices that I enjoy making. There is a fine line though. I get burnt out always feeling like I have to get shit done..so I do need to take time and just sit around to relax. Maybe im just getting old though, because my life is nowhere near as hectic as it once was.

 

 

On a side note. I am FINALLY about to close on my house!!! We started trying to buy this place in late june. It has been an awful process thus far. One of the most stressful things ever...BUT, it is about to be over. I will be an official home owner next tuesday. Holy fuck.

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right on br0, you tell em!

 

drinking = cool !

:miamivice:

 

CONGRATS,

YOU GUYS MUST BE ABLE TO CONTROL YOUR DRINKING AND NOT LET IT AFFECT YOUR LIFE,

AND NOT LOSE JOBS WHILE "GETTING-AWAY" WITH DRINKING ON THE JOB,

BECAUSE IT's A GAME TO SEE IF YOU'LL GET CAUGHT OR NOT.

AND WHEN YOU DO GET CAUGHT,

YOU STILL FIND A WAY TO DO IT AGAIN AT ANOTHER JOB.

WER'E JEALOUS OF NOT BEING LIKE THIS.

 

BUT IF DRINKING IS TRULY = "COOL"

 

I'M SURE MOST OF US HAVE BEEN MUCH "COOLER" THEN THE IGNORANT PART-TIME DRINKERS THAT TROLL THIS THREAD

AND RANT ABOUT HOW "THEY'RE GONNA GET WASTED THIS WEEKEND, FUCK BEING SOBER".

 

 

http://www.justthefactsbr0.com

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Groovin on being sober and all, but after a year of not smoking I keep thinking that perhaps I should start again, how weird is that.

 

I love the justifications of the addict mind, I find myself thinking that I would be better at solving complex problems at work because I would have that break, that my mood would be more even keel, I think at some point I even flashed the thought that I would look cool if I started smoking again. I know that all these things are false but there is a little part of me that wants to believe.

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after letting tons of shit get into my mind and worrying about this and that.....i go to a meeting and get exactly what i needed to hear, take shit one day at a time.

 

an old timer with 40 years got up and said that the key to life and sobriety is like playing draw poker, you dont bet all your chips based on quick decisions (negative thinking), sometimes you fold a bad hand but you are still in the game etc.....even folding gives you a chance to watch how the other players play.

Im butchering the fuck out of what he was saying but it was really what i needed to hear.

 

After that we all dressed up like jesus and reenacted the last supper, the costumes are bought by our government funding. Fun times.

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