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Alcoholism

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Went to family Xmas today and was immediately offered beer, grabbed one and started drinking and halfway through poured it out in the bathroom and just drank soda. 

 

Small victories. 

 

It was a good plan because my GF drank wine so I woulda had to drive . 

 

Weaning off benzos now, not fun 

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I've been limiting myself went to get groceries and wanted a case grabbed a single beer and that's my allowance. Bargaining w myself. 

Thanks for the support yall 

 

 

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21 hours ago, +plus+ said:

Went to family Xmas today and was immediately offered beer, grabbed one and started drinking and halfway through poured it out in the bathroom and just drank soda. 

 

Small victories. 

 

It was a good plan because my GF drank wine so I woulda had to drive . 

 

Weaning off benzos now, not fun 

Be careful homie, benzo withdrawal is dangerous. Nothing wrong with tapering if you need to. Best of luck though, small victories indeed. I hear that shit.

 

I've been 100% sober since I last posted (aside from cafecito if you count that, I don't). Going to my girl's for Christmas Eve tomorrow night, then Christmas dinner with her aunts and uncles the next. I know the whole family is probably gonna be lit but I've already told myself that I'm not going to so I'm content with it. Actually a little happy as Christmas in pretty much all of my past years aside from the past few has been something along the lines of wake up, smell food cooking, drink, try to keep a healthy buzz around my parents without looking like a total drunk, wait and hope somebody gives me money, call up the H man, wait, wait, finally go out to meet, get high.

 

Past few years since I quit heroin it's pretty much just been get drunk all day. So this will be the first sober Christmas since I don't even remember when.

 

Now that I haven't drank for a little while I'm starting to notice all the little shit that's wrong with my body, that either alcohol was masking or I just brushed off as nothing being hungover a good majority of the days.

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The not being hungover is the best reminder. I feel bad dfor some of my friends who don't get them as bad because they don't have a incentive. 

Mine were bad from day one so it always crippled me.

 

Good work man, you can do it! 

 

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Trying to quit. Im a god damn wreck in my head. Im good at hiding it mostly i guess. Way depressed and often suicidal. I hace cut back a lot so it isnt THAT bad anymore. But i still need to totally get off it. Been drinking for 3 years straight everyday minus the detox facilities and jail visits.

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On 12/17/2019 at 4:07 AM, Kalashnikov said:

Thanks, this actually helps give some insight. I'm pretty much the exact same as you in terms of my drinking habits. Typically once a week, sometimes a few days at a time, since around the same age with a few breaks (mostly when I was into heroin, as funny as that might be). We're also pretty much the same age. This past week, I had a few friends from high school come visit me and they're straight up alcoholics, drinking morning until night. I would drink at night with them most nights, and the pain is definitely drinking related. It actually was quite noticeable yesterday (Sunday), and was sharp at times when it never was before. I drank Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights.

 

I also notice it when I've abstained from drinking and have one beer, it starts maybe a minute after taking the first few sips. Either way though I'm gonna give the drinking a rest for at least like 4 or 5 weeks and see what happens. Which I guess means I'll have a sober Christmas and New Years, but whatever. It's not like drinking makes anything better, but it does help you feel normal when you're an anxious wreck half the time.

 

I also plan on going to the doctor to see what this is about, ask for some labs, etc. I'm glad that you quit (pretty much), living a longer life is the better choice.

Yeah I have the same symptoms as you when I start drinking. I recently cut down to almost zero for a good number of weeks and they pains all went away. I've spoken to my doctor about it and they had no real concerns. I have slightly elevated liver enzymes but the ultrasound showed it looking healthy. I assume it's just the body's natural response to processing stuff it does not like.

 

I'm still a long way from having quit and have been getting fairly drunk over the Christmas period but definitely not in a way that feels quite as painful (physically and mentally) as previous years.

Edited by poes

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Just checking in here, hope everybody is doing alright. I've been sober minus a few drinks on New Year's Eve when I went to watch the fireworks with my girl. Fucked up that once but otherwise I've been sober. I do plan on drinking Saturday since I'll be in New Orleans. Gonna see what the city has to offer, catch a few handstyles, smash down a po' boy, chill with the girl, just relax. Then no more drinking until New York in February, and should be going to Costa Rica in April provided I get my passport straightened out. My plan is to try and keep the drinking this year to trips. We'll see how it plays out I guess.

 

 

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My troubles with alcohol is on a steady decline

 

i stopped drinking hard liquor over a year ago and im "socially" drinking beer every now and then

 

my focus is now on diet, mainly becuz im getting older at 33. I'm leaning more towards a plant based diet, mostly out of utility.

and beer will always be there but its knowing when to stop

Edited by glorydays
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On 12/26/2019 at 6:37 PM, Moe Szyslak said:

Trying to quit. Im a god damn wreck in my head. Im good at hiding it mostly i guess. Way depressed and often suicidal. I hace cut back a lot so it isnt THAT bad anymore. But i still need to totally get off it. Been drinking for 3 years straight everyday minus the detox facilities and jail visits.

Moe - if there are any programs in your area I suggest trying one out. In many places you can get into a brief residential or outpatient treatment covered by insurance wether you are employed or not.....at least in California.

 

The mental health stuff can get agitated when you detox and staying sober can really bring about some strong emotional responses which have been muted by alcohol/drugs for years.

 

Good luck with your recovery man - it’s not easy but I wouldn’t trade my sobriety for anything.

 

 

 

 

All that being said - I just had 12 years off drink in November. There are times I feel like I am missing out when I see others drinking but then I remember I am not like other people. I look at my pops and brother and see them struggle with the addiction and I know I make the right choice.

 

Keep it up fellas.

Edited by fat ralphy
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My pops called me

yesterday and said he has 40 days without a drink.

 

Better late than never.

 

Hope all you brothers are living your best life.

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