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Alcoholism

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I'll be one of those long hair skulls that were all the metal tattoo/album cover 80's rage.

 

The first one of my [REDACTED] people I partied with went to the nut house before polite society knew what meth monsters were was going bald by 23. I am reasonably sure it was related.

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Just a whole lotta love and respect to all the people in this thread fighting those demons in constructive ways. I'm sure it's hard. If you need any motivation, think about your kids or your future kids. Do it for them.

 

I say this as someone who has never touched alcohol or any drugs due to watching my father and swearing at a very young age that I would never fuck with nunnadat.

 

Not to sound all overdramatic, it's not even as if my pops was that bad off, he's still living and has never managed to fuck himself up quite as completely as he should have, but still. it's really the only "promise to myself" that I ever made, but I'm glad I did, cuz I know my genes are made for that addict life.

 

So all of you, I salute you.

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just fyi, for those discussing forgetfulness, alcohol does not kill brain cells.

it does of course disrupt brain activity, but it shouldn't be doing any long term damage that affects your ability to process information while you're sober.

it may impact your ability to form memories while you are drunk, but not otherwise.

 

"For moderate drinkers, a number of studies from the last 15 years suggest that, far from killing brain cells, a little tipple is actually associated with a reduced risk of cognitive decline and dementia."

 

if you find your memory is leaving something to be desired, try brain training.

or doing crosswords, sudoku, playing chess, etc.

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/healthy-aging/in-depth/memory-loss/art-20046518

http://www.lumosity.com/

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on another note, i got a bottle of rum the other day

and still haven't opened it

 

 

times done changed

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Still trying to be honest with myself. I apologize to everyone I exploded towards in my drunken stupor, especially you POZ.

 

Fuck benzos. I had no idea...

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turning 30 and looking old before my time has been a good motivator to stop.

 

haven't been drunk in 2 weeks, until last night when i was forced to taste something at my job (restaurant biz).

 

that little taste made the thirst come out bigtime. turned me into barney gumble on the simpsons.

 

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anyone here have memory loss from substances/etc?

worried that my short-term's getting pretty bad ...

 

 

my brother an I were talking of this subject yesterday .

mind you, he has no idea i have struggled with my own substance issues.

 

he started doing meth at 16, he will be 41 in a few months.

 

mayyyyybe went a few years without it (beuase of jail and court ordered rehab, parole etc....)

now he takes diffeent pills, im sure he does a lil bump occasioally and every few months he has a drastic weight loss. I know he is not clean and sober.

 

everything he talks about, when he is stuck in this world of when "it was good" was about the age of 16 for him.

thats all he talks about.

the music, his friends, the way things were, where we lived, high school days...even the same "dream way of life" is the same as when he was 16.

 

he cant remember that I sold my car last year, when he was the one who had to drive to stateline to tow me in. we spoke about this a few weeks ago.

 

he doesnt even remember the conversation we had about him forgetting that subject. he forgot to take his insulin because he forgot the dr diagnosed him with diabetes. the nhe went into renal failure.

 

 

i know that drug does some damage, but its odd that his mind is stuck in 1989/1990

 

i hope everyone is well and healthy and strong.

 

i hope weapon X surfaces

 

 

love you all

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Glad to see this thread still active. Awesome to see some of the same people posting. Since the last time I posted in here, more than a year ago, my life has gotten really busy. I got 2 awesome jobs, and then I got fired from 2 awesome jobs. Haha. I got engaged. Some friends of mine died. Some family members died. The wife to be graduated nursing school and is now a registered nurse. I just registered for 1 of 3 classes Ive needed to take for the last decade to finally graduate college. I expanded my firearms collection. I showed some of my art in a couple local galleries. And I celebrated 14 years sober back in june. Despite being the poorest Ive been in a long while, things are good. Living honestly is by far the hardest thing Ive ever tried to do...but Ive been told its a step in the right direction. Living like a scumbag is overrated.

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just fyi, for those discussing forgetfulness, alcohol does not kill brain cells.

it does of course disrupt brain activity, but it shouldn't be doing any long term damage that affects your ability to process information while you're sober.

it may impact your ability to form memories while you are drunk, but not otherwise.

 

"For moderate drinkers, a number of studies from the last 15 years suggest that, far from killing brain cells, a little tipple is actually associated with a reduced risk of cognitive decline and dementia."

 

if you find your memory is leaving something to be desired, try brain training.

or doing crosswords, sudoku, playing chess, etc.

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/healthy-aging/in-depth/memory-loss/art-20046518

http://www.lumosity.com/

 

thanks for facts.

 

and congrats on your engagement, ohmy. that's awesome.

 

a relationship is something i still can't even visualize working yet. still too selfish.

 

maybe one day.

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just fyi, for those discussing forgetfulness, alcohol does not kill brain cells.

it does of course disrupt brain activity, but it shouldn't be doing any long term damage that affects your ability to process information while you're sober.

it may impact your ability to form memories while you are drunk, but not otherwise.

 

"For moderate drinkers, a number of studies from the last 15 years suggest that, far from killing brain cells, a little tipple is actually associated with a reduced risk of cognitive decline and dementia."

 

if you find your memory is leaving something to be desired, try brain training.

or doing crosswords, sudoku, playing chess, etc.

 

http://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-living/healthy-aging/in-depth/memory-loss/art-20046518

http://www.lumosity.com/

 

 

 

^I like these words.

 

The main thing I'm worried about that might contradict these words though is the link between aluminum and Alzheimer's. Being as I'm sure I'm far from the only drunkard who consumes most of his alcohol from aluminum cans, and that amounts to a shit load of aluminum cans. I've recently switched to bottles only but I'm worried about the decade or so of aluminum cans that I've swilled from.

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Still trying to be honest with myself. I apologize to everyone I exploded towards in my drunken stupor, especially you POZ.

 

Fuck benzos. I had no idea...

 

Not even mad, dude. I was more surprised than anything... I truly never had the intention of hounding you for shit. I was definitely apprehensive about some of the things you said regarding your tactics in navigating this shit, but to each their own.

It's water under the bridge homie.

Hopefully you're doing well now... sounds like maybe you hit a wall with shit... that's usually a nice cue that things need adjustment. Hope you get it sorted out if you haven't already.

 

Homie of mine his 9 months today... stoked for him. He's a smart dude and one of the few people I can relate to or feel like I have anything of substance to discuss with.

 

Reading lots. Mostly trying to work my way through McCarthy's novels. A part of my interest in his books is his background with drinking and sobriety and whatnot. His wikipedia has a brief section about it. His books often have a certain dark and shameful quality that I bet many alcoholics could relate to, even if they aren't murdering people and having sex with their corpses...

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I'm not fucking up, but I've fucked up so hard out here over the years that I may as well be.

 

Stay up Brick. Have you got an idea on what's letting you do it?

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Do any of you suffer from larger than life nightmares?

 

I'll sort of doze out and, not quite full on night terrors but damn close. Almost 2 years minus a relapse . During the relapse, it stopped , ya know passing out and all. I still have this problem back on the wagon.

 

Is it normal? Does it go away? Should I see a pro?

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kinda. nightmares have woken me up once a week or so for the past two weeks, which is brand new. really violent, horrific ones. i can always fall back asleep within the half-hour though.

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The increased vividness is strong, and can be super confronting if you're finding it difficult to separate the dream from reality.

 

Thinking I've told people something or done something, and the look on their face when I reference it... and realise it was all in my head.

 

I'm hoping it gets better. Right now it's pretty fuckin' rough.

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I'm not fucking up, but I've fucked up so hard out here over the years that I may as well be.

 

Stay up Brick. Have you got an idea on what's letting you do it?

 

 

 

America. Cunts won't let me into the fucking country.

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I'm on that boat. They don't make it easy. Weapons/assault charge, or graffiti? I'm always surprised that graffiti seems to stand out over other things.

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i have really intense dreams on vacation, which is basically the only time i'm without weed.

..and i don't seek it out, i'm sure i could find it like back in the day, but i kinda like the break.

 

i don't smoke a lot of it, but i do puff a small amount every day

and yes, when i don't have it i get the crazy dreams, sometimes nightmares.

i'm sure it's normal, for me anyway.

 

i wouldn't see a pro about it unless it's really bugging you

a counseling session or two prolly wouldn't hurt anyone, regardless.

 

i used to have problems telling the difference between reality and dreams when i stopped drinking, now that i think about it. but that went away over time.

 

inj, just fyi i ain't engaged. we've just been together for ages.

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