fat ralphy Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 i used to shoplift tall cans.....a grown ass man with a record, risking arrest for 3$ worth of beer folks AA isnt the only way to get sober, one of my buddie has gone 18 months on his own just by changing his habits. no matter how you do it, we support you.... /yessoberfag Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malin Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Good afternoon. (Bare with me here) I'm not one to discuss shit like this especially on 12oz, but after lurking in this thread for a while now and after reading the posts (here comes the corny shit) you all have inspired me to let it out. Thanks. Sraight up...Again bare with me.... Almost two weeks ago, I woke up in the morning and BAM! Here comes the shakes and the anxiety. That was an everyday occurrence to me... So i get up take like 4 or 5 huge slams of straight vodka to the face to cure the shakes, then i take my Xanax. Mind you I was going through the giant handles of vodka every day and almost half the next day throughout the course of the day at times barely catching a buzz. I was laying there and something came over me. In the back of my head for the past how ever long i was drinking like that I knew I was slowly killing myself and I knew at the rate of drinking i was doing i would be dead soon. but i didnt pay that thought much attention till that morning when something just clicked and told myself i need to stop drinking like this. so i got up and walked to my baby mom's crib and told her that i need to go into rehab or whatever and that i might be gone for a week at most or however long this shit takes. I gave her 400 bucks to watch my kid and get my kid groceries. I then went back home and got stupid brown out drunk and called myself a cab to the hospital to be admitted for alcohol withdraws. They rushed me back and gave me saline to hydrate me and fed me some Ativan and knocked me the fuck out. Next thing I know, I wake up being pulled out of an ambulance on a stretcher at some detox center about a half hour from my spot.. I was like where am I? This fuckbag tells me...DETOX NAGUUR! I was yo I dont want to come to detox and he's like too late, bitch youre here. Can't i smoke a quick cigarette and gather my thoughts make some calls to let the people who need to know that im here? nope. Shit was like jail. For real they searched me, took all my shit. me being me thought i would try to smuggle in my phone in and i did but it was on its last bar of battery so it died not even within 5 minutes the shit was dead. so i had no numbers or any way of calling anyone. and you could only call local numbers.. i was fucked. after they took my vitals and all that i went to my assigned bed and slept till 3-4pm the next day. they kept waking me up every two hours to check my vitals and blow into a breathalyzer till i blew 0 and my blood pressure was hella high and the shakes just kept coming. i was in hell. alcohol withdrawls are the worst. shaking, sharting, shitting, throwing up, hallucinating, felt like my skin was crawling and bugs were on me. i straight up felt like i was a crackhead or something? it sucked a basket of dicks. These words don't even do the feeling justice. the food was like jail food and you had to line up like you were in jail. shit was awful and so were the other people in there with me..after i was at 0 i was still shaking and stuff, and i was over it. they gave me some kind of benzo to help the shaking after being in there with all those weird fucked up people for a day i was like yo can i just get my shit and be out? the fucker told me know he wasnt comfortable releasing me because of my blood pressure. i got hella hacked about that shit.... i was just laying there in bed thinking these dicklords are keeping me here against my will. i waited for the next round of staff and told the head lady in charge that i am refusing medical treatment and i need to leave. long story short i got outta there and not in a timely manner. the people i was in there with were disgusting. i hated it. my intention was to recover in a hospital then go into rehab for a week. but clearly that didnt happen. but when i was waiting for my 45 dollar cab ride home from detox i wanted a drink so bad but i fought it and not to mention they dont let you smoke in there so i was extra aggro to the 3rd degree. but when i got home i emptied all my alcohol out and smoke some herb and felt so much better. i woke up the next morning in my bed and wasnt shaking. i was cured and i havent had a drop of alcohol since that one day. So yeah, that's that. one day at a time right? I dont necessarily crave a drink, but it helps deal with reality.. i do miss the feeling of being buzzed or drunk. so i guess that is a craving, yeah? Thanks for reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malin Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Fuck. I want a drink now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 I dont necessarily crave a drink, but it helps deal with reality.. EXPLAIN HOW YOU THINK DRINKING HELPS YOU WITH REALITY. BECAUSE IN ALL MY EXPERIENCE, IT's THE OTHER WAY AROUND, THEN YOU SOBER UP AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH REALITY X2 THE NEXT DAY, THEN DRINK THAT AWAY FOR A FEW HOURS, SOBER UP, THEN IT'S X3. IS THERE A FOUR-LOKO WITH RIDDLIN IN IT NOW? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 I don't know if after 2 weeks you can really say you are cured but I also always thought you were a 16 year old girl? Good job on the 2 weeks clean though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malin Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I dont know how to put it into words correctly, but i sure as shit will try. For me, it puts me in a much better mood. Im more personable, less awkward and can carry on a normal conversation. While typing this I guess it gives me the confidence i lack in areas. I suppose it helps me deal with whatever would come my way. even to the menial tasks of going to the store or chatting on the phone to someone. it makes me feel not awkward and less anxious? I hope that makes sense, in some fucked up way it does for me. Iron, i havent had a drink in almost two weeks but what you just said made me realize that it will just be worse if i do give in. This is my first time ever getting off the bottle, so any advice will be greatly appreciated. Thanks for making me realize that if I slip I'll 'HAVE TO DEAL WITH REALITY X2 THE NEXT DAY, THEN DRINK IT AWAY, SOBER UP THEN X3' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malin Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I don't know if after 2 weeks you can really say you are cured but I also always thought you were a 16 year old girl? Good job on the 2 weeks clean though. You're absolutely right. I am not cured. What I meant was I am cured of the shakes and physical withdrawls of it. It's the depression thats getting me now though. What gave you the impression I am a 16 year old girl? Hahah. And to Iron Chef, It made me not depressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 malin. the way you describe using alcohol as a coping method is something i have heard many times. there are a lot of people who simply think they need alcohol to feel normal. the story about rehab sucks, sorry man, glad you detoxed though. before you take a drink, think about the hell you described, its not worth it man. Plus you got a seed and i can tell you got mad love for them, thats a power greater then yourself, the bond with your child. keep it up dude, there are only two places alcohol will lead us, to sobriety or to a death from the disease. good luck man. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I'm gonna try to make this day one again. It's not going to be easy, i'll probably get the shakes tonight and not be able to sleep. Time for some positive change in life. How did I let myself get this bad off? Fuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Decyferon Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I dont really drink because I used to drink too heavily all the time, last few days/week I went completely off the rails, I just cant stop drinking once I have started and end up making shitty decisions. finished off the lasst bit of whiskey this morning so gonna stay off the booze for a bit I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 What gave you the impression I am a 16 year old girl? Hahah. My bad, thought you said that on here before....guess not. How did I let myself get this bad off? Fuck. This...think about it everyday. I just cant stop drinking once I have started and end up making shitty decisions. And this... Just finished my 4th week not drinking. But yesterday/last night was one of the hardest days so far. Not because I went out to a bar or had booze in front of me, but a stressful misunderstanding/disagreement with somebody I deeply care about happened. It threw me off bad mentally and I ended up drinking 8 NA's in my room alone thinking and just being pissed off at everything especially myself. I'm thankful I didn't turn to drinking the real thing but I really see how that situation triggered a mind fuck of urges to black out every thought in my head and that worries me. I feel like any curve ball thrown at me could easily be enough to end up right back where I started and that I just have not found a way to deal with things when they don't go my way. On a more positive note, I talked to my mom last night and she is steady working the program going to meetings 3 or 4 times a week. She has probably been clean about 3 months now. She described her last meeting and it reminded me of one Ralphy mentioned in here. Her last meeting was just her and one other person and she said she still got something out of it. I haven't ever been to a meeting but when I see her over the holidays I have been thinking about tagging along with her. The holidays are going to be tough for her and I since we are having a bunch of parties, insane amounts of drinks available, more than a few obvious alcoholics in the fam that everybody just turns a blind eye to and this will be the first time we are not getting wasted with them. Should be interesting... Thanks for reading. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Today makes a week sober, it feels like a fucking month. I've already had to deal with stressful situations I would have drowned myself in booze over, and came out on top. Now for week 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullshitTantrum Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 switch up your mental. so that dealing with reality becomes something you seek, not something your trying to escape. your out look on life is pretty important for your health too. when you can face the things you were trying to avoid and can deal with them head on. not to say all problems will be solved and shit will be easier but its a start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
50million Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 i stopped drinking saturday. i got so sick I'm still in bed and its monday. so much vomit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BullshitTantrum Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 i drank one beer this week end. i pretty much quit drinking all together since most my friends and a lot of my family are the types to drink with everything. like beer and cereal in the morning. i got a pretty addictive personality so i'm just tryin to cool out so i don't turn alcohol into weed and do that all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Welcome to all the nondrinker noobs... If you need anything let us know. This thread is here to help folks the best we can. Lugr, glad to hear you took yourself out of a stressful situation and just cooled off, even if it was with 8 NA's...the Clausthaler are the best one's I have found. 2 or 3 new years back, Compton Red and I were in Tahoe and he thought it was fucking hilarious that I had a 12ver of NA's throughout the night. After awhile it gets easier and now I don't even want to drink NA's all that much.....tiptoes the line with the real deal a bit too much for me. Congrats Manute, eeeeyyyyyy yyoooooo dawwwwgggg a week is a big deal. Take it one day at a time. I heard someone say this in a meeting the other day "change happens one decision at a time." peace folks, take it slow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forsit Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 still deciding whether or not to go to this meeting or get a 30 of dope. hmm...the answer is obvious but its fuckin difficult. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 ^Just remember what you told Sword last time. the Clausthaler are the best one's I have found. Indeed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Syracuse99 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 thats good you hold to your responsibilities but, a lot of boozers can do that. And its ok to drink if the sun is out, have u ever hung on the river or mountain during the da?. ahh maybe you shouldnt take advice from one like me. I guess it all comes down to self control. I do know that im now more likely to be anti social, lack of interest and self esteem. fuck it, drink up Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redeyedanimal Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I'm gonna try to make this day one again. It's not going to be easy, i'll probably get the shakes tonight and not be able to sleep. Time for some positive change in life. How did I let myself get this bad off? Fuck. Partial fail, started feel in the withdrawals last night, had one and a half light beers and stopped when I felt physically better. Gonna try again today. It's amazing feeling good when I wake up, not having to shake the still drunk feeling in order to get shit done. Y'all will probably see a lot more of me in this thread, I've been to aa meetings, but i'm really not a fan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I'm starting to feel healthier, and working out daily. Word to non drinkin' I gettin' my mus back Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inappropriate_Responder Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 good for you, Manute! I'm taking that 2 beers a day approach. its works on weekdays. Once the weekend come around and i drop the ball... the saga continues Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IRON CHEF Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 IDEAS AND EXAMPLES OF THINGS DONE THAT ACTUALLY MADE US "FORGET TO DRINK" ARE APPRECIATED BY ALL. PEACE TO ALL FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT. I TRIP, BECASUSE MY SHOE-LACES ARE UN-TIED, I CANNOT HELP SOMEONE ELSE TIE THEIR SHOES UNTIL I CAN TIE MY OWN. AND LEARN/KNOW HOW TO KEEP THEM TIED, FOR LEADING BY EXAMPLE, AND FOR SELF-CONFIDENCE, AND IF I NEED TO DOUBLE-KNOT THEM, THE WORD "CHEATING" IS NOT FROWNED UPON, BECAUSE OUR DESTINATION IS ALL THE SAME, WERE NOT GRADED ON HOW WE "GET THERE". AND I KEEP AN OPEN MIND, TO ALWAYS TRY AND LEARN NEW WAYS TO "GET THERE" FROM OTHERS. KEEP YOUR SHOES TIED! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PITOFZOMBIES Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I was a little concerned about this road trip to SF that i just returned from, however i am home in one piece, along with my continuing sobriety. It was definitely strange being back in the city that basically ingrained alcoholic ways in me. the three girls and one fellow i was down there with were all drinking, but nothing out of control, for the most part. i had a few instances of cravings, but they were quickly smothered thanks to the undying support of my wonderful friends as well as my new-found understanding of what exactly it is that i'm dealing with. Having both the serenity that comes with sobriety as well as the aforementioned support, i was in a good place to work through it. i'm somewhat emotional just thinking about how thankful i am for all the kind and encouraging words these friends gave me throughout it. they made it all feel worth it, and they seemed to be very proud of me. i owe them the world for being there. that said, who you surround yourself with seems to be a huge factor in this issue. whether you go to meetings, or your have solid friends, find folks who actively support your struggle. people who will tell you that they're proud of you. it will make a world of difference. i'm pulling for all of you guys. this whole thing sucks, but i'm not lying when i tell you that the good that comes sobriety far outweighs that of drinking. i'm one happy, 41-day-sober fuckin' kid... keep on pushing, and any of you are welcome to PM me about shit as well... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 who you surround yourself with seems to be a huge factor in this issue. whether you go to meetings, or your have solid friends, find folks who actively support your struggle. THIS. Must Spread Rep. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forsit Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 That's it. I'm done. Over this lifestyle. It wasn't even fun while it lasted. Arguing with friends, almost fighting them. Day one. I'm hyped. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Swindle Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 My bad, thought you said that on here before....guess not. you're thinking of melinoe not malin 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fat ralphy Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 damn swindle with the cutty ooontz username knowledge. props. Forsit, sometimes it takes more then one time for the shit to sink in.....good luck with it bro. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LUGR Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 Swindle gots the 16 year old girls on lock. 4.5 weeks and counting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manute Bol Posted November 23, 2011 Share Posted November 23, 2011 I don't think I've gone 9 days without a drink in a good 4 or 5 years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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