Alcoholism

[Dirty_habiT]

On 11/6/2020 at 6:55 PM, Decyferon said:

I've gotta accept im an alcoholic, I drink a minimum of a bottle of whiskey a day and everyday I wake up wrenching and puking cos my stomach feels like shit,  my liver and kidneys hurt so badly but I'm also trying to sort myself out, I'm just not good enough and deserving yet because drunk is easier 

 

DM'd you.

 

I would get on a webex with anyone here that wants to talk addiction and how to work your way out of it or around it.

[Dirty_habiT]

10 hours ago, nicklesndimes said:

i have been sober since new years day 2020...i woke up with a new years day hangover and never looked back. i realized that the relationships were fake, which still kind of bums me out quite a bit to be honest, and really distanced myself from their way of life and i know it's the right thing to do. they were fake friends and bringing me down with them constantly. however, i had really hoped that my mental health would start to improve...and after a year i still feel pretty terrible. not really sure when all of this effort and making better choices to stay away from that stuff is going to create some more positive vibes in my life, soon i hope. it better...

 

You hit the nail on the head brother.  One of the very best things I did for myself when I was struggling was made the realization that the people I was calling friends were not really my friends at all.  All they wanted to do was hang out and get high with eachother.

 

It will take some time for your brain to fully heal it's chemical balances.  They say it can take 6mo to like 3 years for cocaine and speed.  The problem is, it makes you feel good by dumping all of your body's natural "feel good" chemicals at once.  Once you tear the rug out from under this situation, your body takes a long time to start upping it's levels of serotonin creation.  I think it's serotonin.  Anyway, it's hard to "feel good" or "normal" about anything until this happens and I think this is when it's very easy for someone to also relapse.

 

It makes you feel dumpy all the time for a while... tired, bored.  It's a waiting game and that's what most rehab is.  It's keeping people occupied and distracted while their chemistry balances back out and their brain stops telling them to go get high or drink alcohol.

 

EVEN nicotine does this same rollercoaster effect of addiction feel good/nic fit to people on a micro scale.... I don't think people give enough credit to it though for doing that to them.

[SMdoubleXL]

Listen @nicklesndimes this thread is different. From my knowledge and from what I can remember-I have never seen this thread leak o te into any others.  (Or I hope that’s still my perception of it) 

idc if it’s someone who we mutually cannot stand each other-if there was any type of support I could lend-I would.  Reach out if needed.  

[fat ralphy]

A lot of top notch posts on this page.

 

I used this short video a bunch when I was a drug/alcohol counselor - I think it gives a good visual and simple explanation of addiction.

 

 

[Dirty_habiT]

^^Yep that is pretty good.  I didn't know you used to be a counselor.  That's really awesome!  I used to tell people that the way I got addicted to cigarettes was I smoked them and they gave me this really crazy heavy feeling, like a head rush.  Almost makes you feel sick.

 

You keep getting that feeling for a short while of smoking, like... maybe your first week or something.... but after it's gone, you're addicted.

[Kalashnikov]

Lol @nicklesndimesand @SMdoubleXL, in regards to the fake friendships. Sometimes I will social media stalk old "using buddies"... bruh. It's amazing how often I'm like, "Wow, this guy has shit for brains" or "Wow, we have NOTHING in common at all"

 

But yet back when I was getting high these people seemed like my good friends. All we had in common was doing dope.

[fat ralphy]

13 years last week - just another day. 

 

Stay up motherfuckers. 

[Kalashnikov]

Congrats ralphy, proud of you and appreciate your inspiration.

 

Still struggling here to get past the, "Fuck this, I'm pissed, I need a drink" feeling. I was sober pretty much all October, drank in November. I had the week of Thanksgiving off, drank every day. My side/liver/kidneys were really hurting by the end. Something is wrong with that part of my body when I drink. I'm gonna go get labs done and see what's up, I've had high AST/ALT in the past. The problem becomes when I drink one day, it's just too easy to keep going the next day, and the day after.

 

Interviewed for a job that would've been a significant move up, they kept me on suspense by scheduling an "interview feedback" meeting a week out. Didn't get it, they told me that they spent all week debating between me and one other guy and they couldn't make a choice. That day, I drank. I was pissed, trying to figure out what I missed. That was 12/1. Haven't had anything since. My side pain is just starting to go away these past few days.

 

Not giving up on this. Here's to trying again. It's almost like I learned nothing from getting clean off heroin.

[fat ralphy]

@Kalashnikov   thanks for the words. You already know man - listen to your body. No sense getting off junk just to get cirrhosis or some shit - harm reduction is harm reduction until it isn’t. 

 

 

This week I have heard about 4 deaths - one being a solid dude I trained jiu jitsu with for years.

 

Don’t take shit for granted and live with some meaning people - stay up. 

[Kalashnikov]

I've been doing mostly good at being sober. Drank one time since the last post, so twice this month even though I have had cravings plenty of times. I always wake up with regret when I slip up.

 

I think 2021 is it for me though. Just have to hold myself accountable and recognize that feelings pass, usually rather quickly.

[fat ralphy]

Bump.

 

 

#stillsober

[fat ralphy]

Had quite a few bumps in the road recently - can’t imagine how much worse shit would be if I was still getting loaded.

 

Hope all is well with you folks....

[Elena Delle Donne]

sorry to hear ralphy and i hope things are as okay as they can be. for sure, this is the only way to take on the tougher parts of life, i can't imagine doing it any other way either. 

[Elena Delle Donne]

8️⃣ years here today!

 

if you scroll back in this thread you'll find where i started in 2013. maybe some 2012. honestly, before i went to meetings, before i opened up to sober blood family, before i even stopped drinking, my recovery started here. thanks to @fat ralphyand @theprotester and others who helped me along the way. 

 

best thing i've ever done, and it started here 

Edited June 21, 2021 by Elena Delle Donne

[fat ralphy]

@Elena Delle Donne that’s awesome man - I have little doubt that you are a better person because of it.

 

Keep it up man and give back where you can. 

 

Props.

[fat ralphy]

@hatetown this be the thread.

 

Still sober folks - couple months shy of 14 years without a drink.

 

Sometimes I start thinking I can be in control now but probably not worth trying it…..

[ndv]

I quit back in 2013 / 2014, can't remember the year but it was in March.  But yeah, been sober since. 

[mr.yuck]

I don’t think I’ve ever checked in on this thread. I was never a steady drinker. I would binge drink hard. I got to the point where I would wear a helmet to the bar and MFers knew I was ready to get fucked up. Anywho, I had the realization that a lot of the people I was hanging out with at the time viewed me more as entertainment than as a friend. I met my old lady when I was 26 and she was like “Hey, you’re kind of a piece of shit when you’re drunk.” And that began my road to sobriety. I stopped drinking completely for about 5 or 6 years. It’s been another 6 or 7 years since and I found out that I can just have 1 or 2 drinks. I haven’t been drunk or suffered a hang over in 13 years now. 

[ndv]

9 hours ago, mr.yuck said:

“Hey, you’re kind of a piece of shit on 12oz."

 

We noticed, buts it's cool.  lolz Jk

[mr.yuck]

8 minutes ago, nicklesndimes said:

 

so i am gladly back on track where i prefer to be. life is good sober.

This resonates pretty well. The last time I went to a bar/club has been several years ago now. But while I was there, I remained sober and found the entire vibe of the place and the people around me annoying as fuck. 

[Dark_Knight]

Smoking weed and taking mushrooms is superior to demon alcohol

[Elena Delle Donne]

my friends who enjoy weed and mushrooms have very normal lives and none are in jail. i don't trust myself with either but it seems very simple 

[Elena Delle Donne]

gf's dad has been slipping and relapsing for about three months. he came into town last month and had a few cocktails and some oxys for his arthritis pain when the three of us hung out. he knows he shouldn't have any of that but didn't feel bad about it. "i'm not hurting anyone" is what he told me when i confronted him about it in a moment when it was just us two.

 

he fucked around and OD'd last week. he is alive but his organs are beginning to fail. 

 

guy is now making right with his family and trying to take his program seriously. it's sad as hell and didn't have to happen. my girl is destroyed over it. 

 

dad survived a ten year bid, multiple stabbings and being shot by the cops six times. dad's gonna die because he likes oxy.

 

alcoholism and addiction are the devil. don't let your guard down. it may be the last thing you do 

 

 

Edited October 12, 2021 by Elena Delle Donne

[Elena Delle Donne]

this is not to harsh the vibes or whatever. every day sober is a good one, and on the great ones we get to live a fulfilling and principled life. the stakes are high, though. 

 

i'm interviewing for jobs now and i think about this stuff a lot when it comes to boring hr people asking about "times i've persevered" or whatever. this would be the answer but i gotta make up something else. 

Edited October 12, 2021 by Elena Delle Donne

[Deine Mudder]

[mr.yuck]

[fat ralphy]

@mr.yuckthat is fucking gold bro!!!

 

I haven’t had a drink since I was 26 but still I can imagine….I feel hungover if I am up past midnight. lolz

 

[KILZ FILLZ]

Addiction vs compulsion -
 

One of the podcasts I listen to is old episodes of Love Line from the 90s-00s. The episode I was listening to today had a caller who asked Dr Drew where the line between enjoying sex and being a sex addict is. 
 

he said that addiction is defined by a series of consequences, usually consequences increasing in severity. And that, you continue down this path of increasing consequences without being able to stop or prevent them because of your addiction. 
 

he then said, compulsion is a bit different. Compulsion is when you would like to change or adjust something in your life but aren’t quite able to. And there aren’t any consequences you are avoiding. 
 

do you guys agree with this? Are these classifications that may have been though true 20 years ago or so, but are no longer considered valid in recovery? 
 

I have some posts in this thread over the years about dealing with my alcoholism, but it’s always been kinda small. Go into a bar on the way home from work with the intent of having one beer, and next thing I know I’m calling someone to pick me up because I’m too drunk to drive. Blacking out. Buying a case of beer on payday Friday with the intent of drinking them on Football Sunday, but they are all gone by Saturday morning. you get the idea… BUT I’ve never been the type to drink before work/at work, and that has kind of been the borometer for me. In the few meetings I’ve been to, it seemed like this was something that kept coming up in people’s stories, alcohol fucking yo their jobs/careers. 
 

over the last year or so, I’ve basically quit drinking during the week, and only allow myself Friday - Sunday. same kinda thing I mentioned above though, once I crack that first beer on Friday, I keep going and going and going. 
 

so I guess my question is this: since I’m able to abstain during the week, does that make me a compulsive drinker and not an addict?

[morton]

From my point of view chin scratching and  wondering about what makes an addict is irrelevant in relation to recovery, if you identify in yourself that you are an addict is what matters. Having other people or text books or medical professionals say it is all just noise. 

 

That said I have always liked the definition that adds "progressive" to "compulsive" in order to round it out meaning that the behavior that separates addicts from other users is compulsive use that gets progressively worse. 

 

I was out of work when I made the decision to quit drinking, I had just finished up a worker retraining program and suddenly had a clear schedule. It did not take long for progression to really start picking up speed and I was doing shit like having a screwdriver before coffee which can be cool on vacation or whatever but not so much on like a Wednesday at 6:45 in the morning.

 

Even the progression thing can be a little slippery right, that is why I mentioned the out of work bit, it was the removal of a barricade that allowed my behavior to accelerate. I wrestle sometimes with how secure my recovery is in that I have a lot of barriers up right now, I have a wife who does not drink and expects for me not to drink or use, I have a job that takes up many hours of my time and other obligations. But all that shit can be transitory, maybe I loose the job and wife, will I still be so smooth sailing on using?

 

But this is just like, my opinion, I am not active in recovery and am pretty uninterested in what is in vouge at the moment. I never did the steps, have not attended a meeting in a decade and have always been somewhat skeptical about both the step system and medical establishment on these issues. Which does not mean that they are not interesting or evolving, fat ralphy probably has some good input on definitions especially if he is still in the field. I was really turned off a few years ago at how much hype was getting thrown at pharmaceutical solutions to opioid  abuse.

 

I am still sober, and my life is all the better for it. I miss the idea of using sometimes but never really the actual outcomes and consequences.   

 

 

[One Man Banned]

From a mental health perspective, compulsions are linked to obsessions and are behaviors one feels they must perform in order to stop anxiety caused by the obsession.  It is separate/different from substance use.  I'm worried I left the stove on, can't stop thinking about it, what if the house catches on fire?  What if there's a catastrophe? I better go check to make sure because if I don't something bad may happen and these thoughts/feelings will dominate my thinking and impair my functioning in the meantime.  In no way the same as I need a drink and if I don't get one I'm going to be sadmad or have physical withdrawal.

 

Dependence and abuse are not so much defined by a time period.  So, if you only drink on New Years but you black out and wake up in the drunk tank on the 1st of every year, you have a problem with alcohol.

 

@mortonthe barriers example you describe can sometimes be thought of as risk or protective factors.  Having a job could be one thing that helps protect you from drinking.  Losing that job could be a risk factor toward drinking, but that might depend on the strength of your other protective factors, like being married or being active in positive activities, or your belief that you'll get another job.  Also whether your protections outnumber and outweigh your risks.  Sometimes one factor on either side is enough to sway things.