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KaBar

SURVIVAL LIFE SKILLS 101

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Guest --zeSto--

inspired by duffman...

 

have a subtle bottle opener on you keychain.

 

-----

 

Dont be afraid to make the first move.

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try and see as much as the world that you can. it will change you for the better.

 

always look at things from another persons point of view.

 

if you get the chance, move to a complete different cultre than your own.

 

travel will definatley change you and give you a whole other perspective on life. if you have the urge to drop everything and wander for 3 months do it.

 

 

never fully grow up.

 

life is for living.

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Guest --zeSto--

that was some good stuff ragsoe. Nice contribution.

 

 

I'll take 2 of yours...

 

1.)always use caution and discretion.never just jump head long into anything, girls, offers, anything. i've fucked myself over many times.

 

2.)if something sounds too good to be true, guess what.

 

and combine to make my own...

 

3.) Avoid fast women. They will only lead to heartbreak and physical pain.

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Always grab more then what you need, you'll never know when you need it again.

 

What you give is what you get.

 

Live everyday as if it were your last.

 

These are things I do and think about everyday.

 

Also when down get up and write.:D

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Guest --zeSto--

Always grab more then what you need, you'll never know when you need it again.

 

but consume less than you need or you'll grown a distaste for the things you like.

Too much of a good thing is a bad thing. Take what feels right, but dont overdo yourself.

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just had a nasty experience, so here's another metaphor for ya:

 

don't shit in you own backyard;)

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Originally posted by ragsoe505

just had a nasty experience, so here's another metaphor for ya:

 

don't shit in you own backyard;)

 

Exactly....

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Guest PAYROLL
Originally posted by ragsoe505

just had a nasty experience, so here's another metaphor for ya:

 

don't shit in you own backyard;)

That's not a metaphor, you moron. If you don't know, then you should find out.

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Originally posted by PAYROLL

That's not a metaphor, you moron. If you don't know, then you should find out.

 

 

yes, it is. used in the context of don't fuck up your own stuff, which i did.

 

here's a survival skill or two you might need:

 

don't speak unless spoken to. speak+type in this case

 

if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

 

your seriously building bad karma, and breaking the golden rule here. if you don't beleive in these things, i think you soon will.

 

remember, what goes around comes around, and your spreading around a bunch of shit, be expecting shit back.

 

and please try to keep your posts out of this thread, this is meant to be informative, not another place for you to make durogatory comments to please yourself.

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Guest PAYROLL
Originally posted by ragsoe505

yes, it is. used in the context of don't fuck up your own stuff, which i did.

Again, it isn't a metaphor. Check into it. Don't make yourself seem illiterate...

 

remember, what goes around comes around, and your spreading around a bunch of shit, be expecting shit back.

I'll be waiting for you, dude. Bring Mero with you! :lol: I'm shaking.

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got anything better to do? i'm not your enemy, i don't know you, just a screen name. your enemy is you. you are frustrating, though, i'll say that. i just don't understand where your coming from with all this nit-picking and bitching. if you think about it, this is not the place for you to start doing what you do, this thread is actually worth a fuck. amuse yourself elsewhere please.

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I have refrained from posting much in this thread because I wanted to see what everybody else would come up with, and also because I wanted to contribute what I think are genuinely good ideas. Looking back over my life, I can clearly see the places where I made serious errors, and I can also see where I made decisions that have paid off handsomely, not only in money, but in improved quality of life.

 

It is very difficult to appreciate the value of education when you are young. I was a poor student (I don't mean $$$, I mean I didn't work hard at it and I did not do well in high school) mainly because of personal problems associated with my family. My parents divorced while I was in high school, and it really screwed me up. I'm sure that my Dad didn't realize how bad it was going to fuck us up when he divorced my mother and married a younger, cooler chick. It was a tremendous error, and he paid for it in spades. She turned out to be a fucking alcoholic monster. My mom, however, after an initial period of depression, picked herself up and turned into a pretty cool person.

 

Rather than work on my personal problems, I drowned them in alcohol and grass. I failed high-school algebra three times before they finally put me in Consumer Math to get me out of high school. The marijuana, especially, had a very bad effect on my ability to do algebra. When I took it in college, at age 36 (and relatively drug-free,) I made A's and B's. I passed trigonometry and machinist calculations too, all without much difficulty. I had let my feelings of depression lead me to believe I could not successfully "do" algebra. I was wrong. It cost me fourteen years of low-wage, dead-end jobs, before I just decided to grit my teeth and overcome college algebra NO MATTER WHAT. It really wasn't even all that difficult, really. I figure that those 14 years of "no college degree" cost me a minimum of $140,000. MINIMUM. Probably more than that. WHAT AN ERROR. And I made that decision when I was what, sixteen years old? Very stupid mistake. Don't do this.

 

1.) Be realistic, but nurture some big dreams, too.

 

2.) Listen to your counselors at school. They generally are pretty much correct.

 

3.) Make a PLAN. Then make an ALTERNATE PLAN "B". Then make a BACK-UP PLAN. Sit down with a pencil and a piece of paper and DECIDE WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO DO. (Hint: "Whatever" is a poor objective.) Include dates, target times and timetables. Work backwards from your objective (this is called "reverse planning" in the Marine Corps.) As they say in infantry training regiment--SIX WAYS IN, TWELVE WAYS OUT. Plan your education like a bank robbery. In both instances, the objective to to GET THE MONEY. If you spend four years in college and wind up driving a taxi, you screwed the pooch.

 

4.) Include plans for a family. In today's society, people have lost the feeling that "a regular, normal life" includes marriage and kids. We have evolved into a nation of 30-year-old adolescents. This is a major reason why twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings have a feeling of being lost and unfulfilled. But as I said on another thread "Don't make any babies unless you want to be a Daddy." It's a long, long commitment, to raise a child to adulthood. Make decisions like this very carefully. Not everybody is parent material.

 

5.) Start saving for your retirement the day you turn 21. The "Time Value of Money" will pay you big bucks, but only if you actually save and invest. You probably won't win the Lotto, so forget that. If you invest in mutual funds when you are 21, and keep investing, year after year, you'll be able to retire at age 60 or so. If you don't, you will regret it very, very much.

 

6.) Avoid breaking the Law. It does not pay worth shit, in the long run.

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TIPS FOR A LIFETIME

 

01) Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.

 

02) Use a meat baster to "squeeze" your pancake batter onto the hot griddle perfect shaped pancakes every time.

 

03) To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

 

04) To prevent egg shells from cracking, add a pinch of salt to the water before hard-boiling.

 

05) Run your hands under cold water before pressing Rice Krispies treats in the pan. The marshmallow won't stick to your fingers.

 

06) To get the most juice out of fresh lemons, bring them to room temperature & roll them under your palm against the kitchen counter before squeezing.

 

07) To easily remove burnt-on food from your skillet, simply add a drop or two of dish soap and enough water to cover bottom of pan, and bring to a boil on stove-top. Skillet will be much easier to clean.

 

08) Spray your Tupperware with nonstick cooking spray before pouring in tomato-based sauces - no more stains.

 

 

09) When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead - no white mess on the outside of the cake.

 

10) If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato - it absorbs the excess salt for an instant "fix me up".

 

11) Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator. It will keep for weeks.

 

12) Place a slice of apple in hardened brown sugar to soften it back up.

 

13) To determine whether an egg is fresh, immerse it in a pan of cool, salted water. If it sinks, it is fresh. If it rises to the surface, throw it away.

 

14) Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

 

15) To get latex paint off your hands, scrub with just water first, then use soap once most of the paint is off.

 

16) Potatoes will take food stains off your fingers. Just slice and rub raw potato on the stains and rinse with water.

 

17) To get rid of itch from mosquito bite: try applying soap on the area for instant relief.

 

18) Ants, ants, ants everywhere ... Well, they are said to never cross a chalk line. So get your chalk out and draw a line on the floor or wherever ants tend to march - see for yourself.

 

19) Ants, ants, ants everywhere - cheaper than ant killer - use Windex or any mirror cleaner.

 

20) Use air-freshener to clean mirrors: It does a good job and better still, leaves a lovely smell to the shine.

 

21) When you get a splinter, reach for the scotch tapebefore resorting to tweezers or a needle. Simply put the scotch tape over the splinter, then pull it off. Scotch tape removes most splinters painlessly and easily.

 

22) NOW, look what you can do with Alka-Seltzer:

Clean a toilet - drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait twenty minutes, brush and flush. The citric acid and effervescent action clean vitreouschina.

Clean a vase - to remove a stain from the bottom of a glass vase or cruet, fill with water and drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets.

Polish jewelry - drop two Alka-Seltzer tablets into a glass of water and immerse the jewelry for two minutes.

Clean a thermos bottle - fill the bottle with water, drop in four Alka-Seltzer tablets, and let soak for an hour (or longer, if necessary).

Unclog a drain - clear the sink drain by dropping three Alka-Seltzer tablets down the drain followed by a cup of Heinz White Vinegar. Wait a few minutes, then run hot water.

 

 

 

not exactly SURVIVAL SKILLS ....oh well.

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kabar, damn it, write the fucking book already, i could use it man. thanks for the knowledge, let's hope we use it, but you know how learning goes, you gotta do it for yourself. i wish i'd believed my parent's the first time they said " don't touch that, it's hot!". i'll be back, i really like this thread.

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Originally posted by KaBar

2.) Listen to your counselors at school. They generally are pretty much correct.

 

well that's a tough one.

 

I'd say... give a counselor the chance to earn your respect.

Wether you listen to the advice is entirely up to you. Just make sure

that you give them the chance to prove that they aren't talking out of their ass.

Most counselors are.

 

after all....

have you ever met a messed up girl who wanted to get into social work

so that she could help out other girls in similar positions? yeah... dozens of them.

 

 

*edot tyopking ! haha typo king !

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what is this bout again ?

 

Originally posted by KaBar

Sometimes I read shit on here that just amazes the shit out of me. I think of my own experiences as not being all that different from the rest of my generation, and I think of myself as just being kind of Joe Average Boomer, but when I read stuff like Moe Lester not going to the doctor because he doesn't have insurance, I get this sort of "Who TRAINED you motherfuckers for life, anyway?"

 

Truth is, probably: NOBODY.

 

Everybody with "NO DAD," raise your hand. That's what I fucking thought.

 

You can put your hands down now.

 

Okay. First things first. The idea is to live life as well as you can, and to be happy and satisfied. You want to be an intelligent, worldly, somewhat sophisticated person who has compassion for others and who reaches a condition in Life that roughly approximates Maslow's "self actualization" level in his Hierarchy of Needs. If you've never heard of Maslow or his goddammed needs, don't worry. Maslow and Erikson will dog your every step in college, so you can defer worrying about them until then.

 

Basic needs first: Oxygen. Gotta have it. A satisfying sex life don't mean shit if you are gasping for every breath. (SMOKERS TAKE HEED and I ain't lyin'.)

 

Water. Food. Clothes and Shelter. SAFETY.

 

Once you got the basics, then you can start elaborating.

 

Love. Affection. Education. Meaningful Work. Spirtual Enlightenment.

 

ART.

 

Bottom line, you can't expect people to be compassionate towards others if they are hungry all the time. You can't expect people to work on their relationship with their conception of God, or Nature or Whatever if they are subject to being beaten or raped or emotionally tortured. It's just not very likely to occur. If you are fighting for your life, you don't have time or energy for "enlightenment." It's all about "eliminating that threat to my life, and by any goddam means necessary." You can worry about God once you got Hitler safe in the ground.

 

What I have in mind here is some frank discussion about HOW TO SURVIVE and I'm not talking about making fire with a bow drill.

 

LET'S HEAR IT. What a ya got?

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Guest tears*uno

that shit with your dad is real... my daddy fucked up real bad... coke, lying, jail time..i had to break ties with him.. it's a real bummer when you here your friends talking abotu their dad's being cool and having to go out with your friend and his dad to eat lunch or go shopping., and listen to them laugh and bond and shit. the thing i hate the most is when people ask me about my dad and i just tell them i dont have contact with him, and there is an ackward sympathetic silence, and then they just kind of move on in conversation. it's hard telling your girlfriends parents that you're dad is a cokehead inmate, because their immediate action is that "oh hes gonna turn out just like his dad, they always do." its hard to keep a positive attitude with life if you have to hear and deal with this kind of shit all the time. my tips for survival with father figures aren't totally onsite, because im still struggling with this bullshti day in and day out and it's just more shit on my already gay life.

 

1. If he fucks up, don't break ties with him, give him a chance, and MAKE him explain to you how and why he will improve. If he doesn't, lose him, because it will never stop..

 

2. If he is an alcoholic or uses drugs frequently, don't ever help him when he has a problem with either. Bring the problem up to himand how it bothers you. If he doesn't get help on his own, or refuses your help, let him go..trust me.

 

To many other problems to name.. but the rule for number 1 should be applied to most problems..

 

Getting over daddy..

 

1. Talk to a good listening friend or counseslor about it. I do both, it helps keep my sanity. I still struggle with it though, but it does help.

 

2. When someone brings up your dad, i'm not really sure how to deal with it beause it still drives me crazy every time someone does do it....but don't give them the whole truth if he has a really bad story, because 9 out of 10 times people will misjudge you and see you as a reflection of him...which really sucks, trust me.

 

MOST IMPORTANTLY:

 

3. Don't ever think of you as a reflection of him. You are not. You might have the same hair color, and might act the same, and might even have his laziness or chronic heretitary depression. But you are you, not him. When you want to make an important desicion, do the oppisite of what your father would do, or just don't think of him at all when you're making a desicion. Don't do the drugs he did, don't drink if he drinks, dont follow his path. You are you and not him. He fucked up, not you..don't let his mistakes ruin your life and future..

 

Much more to say abotu this subject btu i have to read a big long book tomorow for school... hope this helps some of you ill be back later to elaborate.

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Originally posted by S@T@N

Wow man... I'm sorry about your dad. We might not be on the same

boat, but we're on similar waters... my dad was killed last year in May,

and my life hasn't been the same sense. I need some advice but

I'm afraid to go talk to anyone about it because

I'm afraid of what they may say, or what they may tell

me to do, or anything I dunno... but the fact is this is the hardest thing

I've ever had to deal with. My future was taken from me in a matter of

minutes, and I don't know if I can do it all by myself... oh well. I got this

off my chest. If anyone can give me a pointer or two.... lemme know.

dude same time i lost my best friend last year man, its hard to lose someone you love and its even harder when that person gave life to you now i cant tell you i know what your going through because even in the same situation everyone is different but i will GLADLY tell you what i have done and am doing to help stay sane when thinking of my friend David. 1.no matter how gay you may feel inside honestly your not less of a person if you cry or show emotions i dont mean for you to go hug your pillow and bitch but if you feel you have to let any kind of emotions out DONT hold them back because thats the most important part of the recovery process. 2. surround yourself with things they liked, at first it may be hard like with me david introduced me to one of my favorite bands and at first it made me sad thinking of him now its a way for me to help bring up all the memories (ill discuss that more later) 3. talk to people who knew him, dont rely on people that didnt have a connection with him to offer some sort of greif support because they werent close to him and in all likelyness he meant nothing to them so talk to family members , friends ect that knew him. 4. no matter what happens to you or anyone else you always have the memories, you can always look back on the times you had as cliche as it sounds its true they dont all have to be huge epiphany type memories im not saying to look back for ones that have any kind of meaning just the things that you would do day to day that made you feel close to him , and no matter what he left you with things that no one can take away so cherish those because through that he is still with you man... keep strong dude

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Action to Take When Dad is Absent or Dysfunctional

 

Without going into a big long deal about my parent's divorce, let me say that I'm pretty familiar with this territory myself.

So if your Dad is absent from your life (I don't mean just in another city or something, but if he is deliberately refusing to serve as a father) or dysfunctional to the point that you know for sure you cannot count on him to be there for you, then:

 

1.) Make a conscious decision to identify the sort of qualities you want in a father figure (honest, kind, caring, etc.) Make a list.

 

2.) List all the men you know, starting with close relatives, whom you think might be willing to conciously and deliberately agree to serve as a mentor and confidante for you. Boys really do need a man to show them how to be a man. This is why a divorced mother will often send her son to live with his father when he is eleven or twelve years old.

Most of you guys are past this stage in life, but not everybody---although you may be older than thirteen, if you have not resolved the issues that exist for boys between childhood and adulthood, you may still be struggling with them. Make a list of potential father figures.

 

3.) Discuss it with your parent. (I'm assuming that if you are making a list of potential father figures your own father is not living in your home.) It's possible that your mother may have a few ideas of her own about who would make a good father figure. If your grandfather or an older uncle is appropriate, available and willing, this might be a good choice. There is more to "family" than just chance.

 

4.) It might be wise for your mother to approach the guy. Rejection is difficult, and even worse for boys that have no father. Your mother can then decide if her brother will make a suitable father figure, or whether it should be the guy from Big Brothers. If you already know whom you would like to choose as a father figure, and you already have a relationship with the guy, it might be easier for you to breach the subject than your mom.

 

5.) KEEP IN MIND that fathers are not all going to baseball games and fishing. If you skip school and get caught, or if fail algebra, you better know that it is the DUTY of a father to impose consequences. Boys who think that nobody has the right or obligation to discipline them often continue breaking the rules until somebody has the guts to bring them under control. Unfortunately, that someone is often a judge. Once, when my daughter was in the 6th grade, she came home from school and told me "I'm going to join a gang, and there's nothing you can do about it!" My response was, "MISSY, YOU ARE IN MY GANG! I better not see anybody's colors on you, or this Marine will go to war!" That's the last I heard about gangs. Somebody has to be in charge. Life is scarey as shit for a kid if nobody is the leader, protector and provider. That's a fathers' role, his duty, and his privelege. (and I wasn't kidding about going to war.)

 

6.) Parenting is a two-way street. For a father figure to be able to provide you with what you need from him, you must meet him half way. If he tells you "Your mother tells me you broke curfew. What did we agree on as a curfew?" you've got to have the guts to say, "Yes, sir, I did and it won't happen again." Setting limits and enforcing is a part of being a parent. It is done out of love. If a parent ignores his kid's need for rules, it may indicate that he really doesn't accept his role as a parent. It's part of the role of father, for sure.

 

7.) Last of all, learn the lessons life is trying to teach you. Growing up without a Dad is hard as hell. When it's your turn to be a father, DO THE JOB RIGHT. Fatherlessness tends to pass from generation to generation. DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR CHILDREN. Be a good father, love your children, and most of all, love their mother. It is the best gift you can give them.

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