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Fox Mulder

Summer boredom

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fuck i am so bored, people give me some ideas on something i can do, I have no car,

Where is a good place to get a job, just something, i'm going to go insane.

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i thought monkeys fuck for the fun of it too. but anyway, my summer boredom has set in and is going for the long haul. as funny as this may sound, i cant hardly wait for school to start back up.

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Guest platapie

hahahahah. now this is a good post it started with sum1 wanting to no what the should do to kill bordom and now look. hahahahah

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that was hilarious.

 

sorry molder, i don't have anything good to post. i'm drinking yuengling! does that help?? i'm not out painting?? any more?? ughhhhhhhhhh... i have way to many ny fats and not enough orange centers... hrmmmm. my montana was stolen with my friends car a few days ago. that's pretty shitty if you ask me. fuck the car, that paint is boss!

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Guest imported_SecretAgentX9

fox, where you at?? do you really need a car?? get a bike man!!

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i thought this was funny. maybe inappropriate but funny:

 

BLOWJOB ETIQUETTE (by a female))

 

1. First and foremost, we are not obligated to do it.

 

2. Extension to rule #1 - So if you get one, be grateful.

 

3. I don't care WHAT they did in the porn video you saw, it is not standard practice to cum on someone's face.

 

4. Extension to rule #3 - No, I DON'T have to swallow.

 

5. My ears are NOT handles.

 

6. Extension to rule #5 - do not push on the top of my head. Last I heard, deep throat had been done. And additionally, do you really WANT puke on your dick?

 

7. I don't care HOW relaxed you get, it is NEVER OK to fart.

 

8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through

your head - I'm bloated and I feel like shit so no, I don't feel particularly obligated to blow you just because YOU can't have

sex right now.

 

9. Extension to #8 - "Blue Balls" might have worked on high school girls -if you're that desperate, go jerk off and leave me alone with my Midol.

 

10. If I have to pause to remove a pubic hair from my teeth, don't tell me I've just "wrecked it" for you.

 

11. Leaving me in bed while you go play video games immediately afterwards is highly inadvisable if you would like my behavior to be repeated in the future.

 

12. If you like how we do it, it's probably best not to speculate about the origins of our talent. Just enjoy the moment and be happy that we're good at it. See also rule #2 about gratitude.

 

13. No, it doesn't particularly taste good. And I don't care about the protein! n content.

 

14. No, I will NOT do it while you watch TV.

 

15. When you hear your friends complain about how they don't get blow jobs often enough, keep your mouth shut. It is inappropriate to either sympathize or brag.

 

16. Just because "it's awake" when you get up does not mean I have to "kiss it good morning"

 

 

A Man's thoughts on Fellatio aka Rebuttal Etiquette (by a male)

 

1. First of all, yes you're obligated to do it. If you don't, we will find someone (younger, prettier and dirtier) who will.

 

2. Second, swallowing a teaspoon full of cream is a hell of a lot easier than licking a dead fish.

 

3. You want to talk about farting? Does the word "queef" mean anything to you?

 

4. I will use your ears as I see fit. don't worry about it and be thankful I'm not pulling your hair.

 

5. When you're on your period, stuffing something in your mouth is he only way to stop you from bitching and moaning. Suck it up!

 

6. Speaking of which, if you are bleeding for five straight days, you need all the fluids you can get. trust me.

 

7. You bitch about the taste, but trust me when I tell you that we get the short end of the stick in flavor country.

 

8. At least there is no danger of a dick bleeding in your mouth.

 

9. Play with the balls.

 

10. No matter how good you think you are at it, we've had better.

 

11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!

 

12. Make hay when the sun shines. it's "wide awake" in the morning now, but when you get old & fat and looking for some action, I gah-ron-tee it'll be "sound asleep".

 

13. If you swallow, then you don't have to worry about getting any on your face, now will you?

 

 

sorry about that. i'm really bored

 

 

------------------

high plains drifter

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seriously

go to mcdonalds and get sweet & sour sauce packets..

then throw that shit at cars...

fuck you have to be on your toes incase you nail a mean motherfucker but overall its worth it

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wow, now only 705 minutes till sleep, so i can start it all over again.

 

[This message has been edited by Fox Mulder (edited 06-14-2001).]

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8. Having my period does not mean that it's "hummer week" - get it through

your head -

 

 

WHAT! DAM!...i thought that was automatic...it was the only good part of my gurl gettin her monthly 'friend'..shit...rOe

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Originally posted by ubejinxed:

11. Caress the ass, too. We like that!

 

 

Hahahaha ! never heard that one.

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and another long ass post to keep you bored kids busy.

 

 

* In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the

animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is

punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)

 

* Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This

also applies to undertakers; the sex organs of the deceased must be

covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

 

(A brick??)

 

*There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside

and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex

for the first time. Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden

for virgins to marry.

 

(Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the

world that even comes close to this?)

 

* In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her

adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The

husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

 

(Ah! Justice!)

 

* Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in

tropical fish stores.

 

(But of course!)

 

* In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the

first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the

act.

 

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)

 

* In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a

woman and her daughter at the same time.

 

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this

law?)

 

* In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with

one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine

only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on

the premises."

 

(Is this a great country or what?. Not as great as Guam!)

 

* If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is

produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

 

(Now that's more like it)

 

* A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.

 

(In my next life I want to be a pig)

 

* Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

 

(Still not over that pig thing)

 

* Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.

 

(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)

 

* The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.

 

(I won't touch THAT one!)

 

* Some lions mate over 50 times a day.

 

(In my next life I STILL want to be a pig ... quality over quantity)

 

* Butterflies taste with their feet.

 

(Ah, geez)

 

* An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

 

(I know some people like that.)

 

* Starfish don't have brains.

 

(I know some people like that too)

 

After reading all these, all I can say is....... Damn Those Pigs.

 

 

yes i am really really bored.

 

 

------------------

high plains drifter

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Originally posted by ubejinxed:

and another long ass post to keep you bored kids busy.

 

 

* In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the

animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is

punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense)

 

haha i was fucking hanging out with a lebanise (sp) kid lastnight,next time i see i'm going to ask him about that.he go's to lebanon like 4 times year...

 

 

 

------------------

your ghetto if you pee in the shower...

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