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Poop Man Bob

Mugshot of the Michigan man who got caught violating a pumpkin.

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http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/patton1.html

 

Meet Bill Patton. The 45-year-old Michigan pervert was recently sentenced (9/24) to 90 days in jail. His crime? Two years ago, police arrested Patton on an indecent exposure charge for having, um, intercourse with a pumpkin. Patton made the mistake of getting busy in his basement, where neighbors could easily view his raunchy act through a window. Happy Halloween, indeed.

 

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/art2/patton1.jpg'>

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Guest imported_El Mamerro

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Guest Merdle
Originally posted by WALE!pd

hahahahahahahaha what a freak... i wonder if he spooned the goo out first

I doubt it. I wonder if he heated it up first.

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Originally posted by Merdle

I doubt it. I wonder if he heated it up first.

well i would imagine pumpkin pie would be better to fuck than apple pie hah

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if i didnt have a girl i think id try it

no wait... pumpkin innards smell like shit

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Guest krie

i wonder if he would eat the pumpkin afterwards ?:confused:

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how the fuck does he get booked? those fukcking pervert creep neighbours of his should get booked for looking at him.

 

 

what the fuck is so illegal about fucking a pumpkin in your own goddamn house?

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people need to stay the fuck out of their neighbor's shit... who gives a fuck? yeah, it's goofy, but if it's a basement you gotta do some serious lookin to be able to see that... leave the guy alone with his pumpkin...

 

 

unless the pumpkin was carved like a face... and guy was fucking one of the eye holes... and there was a note stuck to the pumpkin with an arrow pointing to the eye hole and "my neighor's eye socket" written under the arrow... then i would understand...

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I thought he was in the field

 

And got busted fucking a perfectly innocent young pumpkin that hadn't even been picked yet. I mean, this has got to stop. VEGETABLE ABUSE. Lord, what's next? Do you suppose he's a Satanist or what? "("Oh, George! Not the livestock!" )

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this is fucked up on so many levels.

 

his neighbors were watching him in his basement, and they called the cops? what was he doing wrong? he wasnt hurting anyone.

 

90 days in jail? are you fucking kidding me?

 

pee wee herman was charged with indecent exposure and got a slap on the wrist.

 

i cant believe hes going to jail for fucking a pumpkin in his own house.

 

i know this is supposed to be some funny news story and say 'haha look at the pervert'. fuck that, im pissed at the justice system. wheres the fucking justice? how dare they give him such a harsh sentence for nothing! he did absolutely nothing wrong! ill fuck anything that i want to in my own house. as long as its not an unwilling person, or an animal, jesus christ, let me fuck it if i choose to.

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Re: I thought he was in the field

 

Originally posted by KaBar

"Oh, George! Not the livestock!"

:lol: haha... next time i'm in texas i wanna try to get arrested for defamation of beef... i think it would make a hilarious addition to my record...

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Vinyl---You ever see "Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou?" LOL. Baby-Face Nelson was shooting up the cows with a Thompson gun. ("My name is George! George Nelson! NOT BABY FACE! And you'd BETTER NOT FORGET IT!") LOL LOL LOL LOL. George Cloony rocks in that movie. ("You stole my hair treatment!")

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Hey, Allen...

 

It's gotta stop somewhere, man. Next thing you know, these pumpkin fuckers will want to be getting married and shit, you know? Come on, you know it's unnatural. People and vegetables---it can't be right. I bet God disapproves, LOL.

 

(Okay, I confess, I had a girlfriend once who kind of had a thing for a cucumber, but I cut that motherfucker up and when she got over the grief, she knew who was boss. "Who's your Daddy now, bitch?")

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Guest THEdude

yeah why the hell dont they crack down on all the porn sites showing girls getting freaky with cucumbers and carrots and all that stuff, not that I watch porn or anything, anyways the guy is a fucking weirdo, but yeah i mean it was his house.

 

maybe someone framed him................................

 

maybe it was his herbal medicine for his herpes or something, you never know, maybe some indian medicine guy gave him that to stop his suffering.............................................................

 

what did the pumpkin have to say about all this? we need her point of view.

 

unless she was a prostitute pumpkin........if that pumpkin is not homegrown and he paid for it then he's screwed..............

 

you know, paying money in exchange for sexual advances and all that stuff............not that I've been charged with that or anything....................

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Originally posted by KaBar

Vinyl---You ever see "Oh, Brother, Where Art Thou?" LOL. Baby-Face Nelson was shooting up the cows with a Thompson gun. ("My name is George! George Nelson! NOT BABY FACE! And you'd BETTER NOT FORGET IT!") LOL LOL LOL LOL. George Cloony rocks in that movie. ("You stole my hair treatment!")

:lol: i was laughing cuz i love the way he says that line in oh brother... so, yeah i've seen it... too many times to count... it just reminded me about the beef defamation law...

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Guest Merdle

That is kinda wack he got arrested for it, I mean he was in his own basement. Your not allowed to have sex with fruit and vegetables in your own home anymore??Which brings me to my next question, what are pumpkins, friuts or vegetables??

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Originally posted by Merdle

That is kinda wack he got arrested for it, I mean he was in his own basement. Your not allowed to have sex with fruit and vegetables in your own home anymore??Which brings me to my next question, what are pumpkins, friuts or vegetables??

 

The only justification I can reason for him getting put in jail is the trauma his neighbors likely suffered after seeing ol' lazy eye stick his third eye into a Jack-o-lantern.

 

:)

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