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stop being fat and lazy, and use your thought process


Guest angry xbox

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Guest angry xbox

Its not that the world is filled with stupid people or that humans of lesser intelligence even exist. It is the presence of technology, which we welcome with open arms, that creates complete automation in our transactions. Leaving some of us un-able to complete processes of logical thinking and an individual ability to think upon our own devices. One might call this the information age, but we here in the states are bombarded day by day with useless facts, rumors, and pieces of information that have little relevance to life in general. More and more speculation is to be had about lesser and lesser ideals that have no basis for human progression.

Religious sects and political parties pop-up like franchises, changing ideas and resetting human values of which to live by. Call me a libertarian, or call me a Democrat, maybe I am a black or an African-American, am I white or am I Hispanic, my speech is studded with slang words, but I am not from that neighborhood. Society through this wonder of automation and grave advances in technology has fallen into a rut of classification to better an understanding of the world around us. The actual explanation for this might come from the lack of a material creator. Science and man’s need to progress is only driven by his complete lack of affirmation that he is inferior to anything unseen by the human eye.

However the truth be told, it is evident by all, if you dare to look, that human nature is to be greedy, and it is to be authoritarian. If you look long enough at our past you will find that throughout our short history, we have killed in the name of many gods, many causes and many ideals that in the end, change as does the tides. This of course is an extremely feasible argument since the history books can lie. Although if they do and the truth be found, it only again proves mans natural pull towards deception and falsafieng his actual progression. So it goes to show that this natural ability to destroy one another in the name of a great cause; religion, imperialism, capitalism, we now find that the media is just another subsidiary of the machines overall functionality. Much like a car engine, which needs to be cooled by the radiator or catalyzed by the spark plugs igniting gasoline.

We will call the catalyst in our realm of this argument, the media. The media keeps the people from seeing the blatant truths through heresy accounts. At one end of that spectrum someone will lose and someone will come across a great gain in the name of either fame, which is fueled in most cases by money, or power which is fueled by evil or greed. Power, which goes back to the origin of natural human instincts has always been prone to easy corruption and influenced by monetary delegation. So where anm I going with this?

Well simply put the race of humans has evolved and is now devolving from the presence of technology. I have no sympathy for those who are disgustingly obese. You are fat because you are lazy. You are lazy because you are synthesiaed and all your dwellings are automated. Everything eill be done for you sooner or later and you will have no reason to be active or put in hard work. Let me tell you though, before the insurgence of industry and assembly lines, man tilled the earth and grew his food. You put in a days work and rest was well earned. Now a machine does it for you and you sit back and enjoy the spoils of techno-despotism. So lest we forget that technology can be the destruction of progression if we take for granted what our initial existence and resources are. However if we can harness the true meaning of progression and take monetary drive out of producing new ways to be resourceful, we will truly develop as a society.

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Seven reasons why the Xbox can suck it.

 

1. Piss-poor design.

The system is the brain child of Seamus Blackley, a 32-year-old red-haired jazz pianist and nuclear physicist. To quote him: "I was flying back from visiting [my girlfriend] and I had just got a new laptop and I was trying it out on the plane and I was thinking about graphics cards and I realized that we could make a machine that had much higher performance than anything else in the industry." Yeah, it's called PC dumbass. Real revolutionary idea. Take existing hardware, throw it together in a big clunky box and call it a console. Everything about the system reeks of poor design. Rather than getting a hand full of the most talented game developers in the world (here's a hint: YOU WON'T FIND THEM MAKING PC TITLES IN THE US ASSHOLE--GO TO JAPAN) and designing a system around the games from the ground up, Blackley comes along with an unlimited supply of stupid ideas about the gaming industry and designs a system that he himself admitted to being "little more than exposed cards with processors and graphics chips hooked to a monitor." No shit? I couldn't tell from how HUGE the case is. It's almost as if it was thrown together with pieces bought off of a store shelf--oh wait. What more, once he senses the impending fizzle of the launch, he bails from the company to work someplace else--where he'll inevitably spawn more stupid ideas.

 

2. The games suck.

It's been almost one full year since the launch of the Xbox and so far the only game that doesn't suck as much as everything else on the system is Halo. Everything else is either out on another console, mediocre or a boring PC port. Even Halo doesn't cut it as far as I'm concerned. The first person shooter (FPS) genre is best done on PC, period. As good as Halo is, it's not even the best in its genre (an honor reserved for Half Life as far as I'm concerned). The Xbox library of games is flooded with shit titles like "Azurik": games that seem more like projects for computer science majors in their senior year at college than professional products. I would rather be shot than have to play one more uninspired ho-hum platform title starring some stupid cat or some random guy that runs around bumping into other vague uninspired objects. Throw that shit away.

 

Here are some examples of the bullshit games on the Xbox:

 

 

Max Payne - Wait, so not only do I lose the ability to adjust my resolution and system specs to improve performance, but I get a game that's been out for months on PC already? Where do I sign? The game's not too bad, but why bother with it on Xbox when it's on PC already?

 

Nightcaster - How original, a rushed third-person RPG title with four magic types: light, dark, fire and water. But wait, here's where the strategy comes in: use water against fire, light against dark enemies, etc. Brilliant.

 

Blood Wake - I liked this game better when it was called Twisted Metal and you drove cars instead of boats. Unoriginal, uninspired.

 

Azurik: Rise of Perathia - Would have been more aptly titled "Azurik: Onset of Paralysis." Bad gameplay, poor camera, muddy textures, lame characters. Does the fun ever start?

 

Star Wars: Obi-Wan - More like "Star Wars: Obi-Wanna-Play-A-Different-Game." Poor AI, poor controls, boring environments. Any non-geeks care to play this? Doubtful.

 

Bruce Lee: Quest of the Dragon - Broken gameplay, bad camera work, cheesy voice acting, and the game crashes. All this crap for just $50? It's a win/win situation for publishers: put a lackluster effort into development and make boat-loads of cash off of suck-er.. customers.

 

Sure, every console has its share of shitty games but the Xbox has a disproportionately higher percentage of them. In fact, I think only the N64 rivals the Xbox in the shitty to good title ratio. When all is said and done, it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks about the games, the fact is that the games just aren't selling. All you cry-baby, whining, sniveling bitches can stop emailing me with "HAY MADDOX YOU IDIOT YOU DIDN'T MENTION DEAD TO RIGHTS LOL!!!" Because here are some cold hard facts:

 

For the entire month of July, only 2 games made it into the top 20 highest sellers (based on units sold), and only 1 in the top 10: Halo at #10 and NCAA Football 2003 at #11. For the month of June, only 3 games made it into the top 20, with only 2 in the top 10. Same for the month of May 2002, and only one in the top 10 in the month of April 2002. Even when the Xbox newly launched, their best month ever has only yielded 4 games in the top 20 with only 2 in the top 10, and don't even bother looking at Japan's stats where the Wonder Swan system is outselling most Xbox games (Source: NPD TRSTS Video Game Service). Compare this to Sony's healthy 15 titles and you can see the big picture. I don't favor Sony's platforms, but these are facts. Any other systems sell this poorly in recent memory? Oh yeah, the Dreamcast and where is the DC now? The DC was by far my favorite system in its prime, but the only difference between me and all you whining Xbox pussies is that I can see the same thing happening here. It doesn't matter how good anyone thinks the games are, because they're just not selling which should tell you dumbasses something. That's not to say that good games always sell, but there's no excuse for Microsoft to have this kind of piss-poor performance because they have all the marketing muscle in the world to make it happen and they're screwing it up.

 

3. The controller is almost as big as my nuts.

This has to be by far the shittiest controller packed with a home console ever. What were they thinking? Over 25% of the surface area on the controller is wasted by a giant green Xbox jewel--you know, in case you forget what system you're playing in between loading screens. You can seriously drop the controller onto a cat from 5 feet and break its back... so I've heard.

 

What Microsoft should have done was team up with Sega to buy all their unsold Dreamcasts and just use them as controllers for the Xbox. It probably would have been smaller than the 8 lb atrocity that they have now.

 

4. People who own the Xbox don't play video games.

The average Xbox owner attends Microsoft SQL Server release parties, reads books on database theory and hates games like Super Mario because they're too old for "kiddie" games since everyone knows that it's graphics, not game play that makes a great game. I mean, why play a game that's actually fun when you can waste hours watching rendered, uninteractive intros instead? Ask the typical Xbox owner what other video games or consoles he likes and you'll draw a blank stare. The reason they bought an Xbox was because it's by Microsoft and they're blindly devoted to the company, not because of the games (being as there aren't any).

 

5. No Soul.

You'll never see games like Metal Slug, Radiant Silvergun or Castlevania come out for the Xbox because Microsoft hasn't made the system attractive to the Japanese market. Capcom, Konami, SNK and a slew of other big game developers have turned their backs towards the Xbox except for a cursory presence with an obligatory title port. There is light at the end of the tunnel, however. Sega is working on a Panzer Dragoon title as well as Toe Jam & Earl III. Regardless, the Xbox is still a PC at heart, right down to the hard drive and buggy software.

 

6. Shitty philosophy.

Blackley thought he had the formula for a great system because all the components were there for a great system (and they are): a powerful graphics chip, a beefy hard drive, a fast processor and DVD capabilities. What he failed to realize was that just because you have all the raw material to make a great system doesn't mean it's going to be great. Saying the Xbox is a good system because it's powerful is like saying you made a great painting because you used the best set of paints.

 

The Xbox is designed by people who think they know a joystick from their assholes. The problem is that they're mostly fat white business men and not gamers. They're out to make a buck and it's painfully obvious in how poorly they're marketing the system (I think they've cornered the market on middle-aged men who buy one or two sports titles per year for their system).

 

7. Too expensive.

The last figures I heard were that Microsoft was eating $150 on every Xbox sale because they had hoped to subsidize the hardware cost with software sales. Too bad that all their software is shit, otherwise their plan might have worked. Unfortunately, Microsoft has deep pockets so we'll probably have to endure a couple more years of mediocre Xbox titles until Microsoft's share holders decide they've had enough. Don't buy an Xbox. Or if you do, wait until something worth buying comes out for it first.

 

For all you inevitably offended Xbox owners and developers, quit bitching. I'm not hell bent on the ruin of the Xbox, and I'll eventually buy one, but not until some 'decent' shit comes out for it (ie, more than one game worth purchasing). The point of this article is that there are a lot of dumb cocks out there who buy systems out of blind devotion to the company rather than the games.

 

 

 

 

Yes look how fucking logical and profound I am now TOYS!!! hahah!!!

 

 

credit goes to Maddox

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Originally posted by angry xbox

i dont give a fuck about the xbox or video game systems they all promote lazyass fucking behavior. you are seriously dumb.

 

We all cant have genious diction and spit forth lines like lazyass fucking behavior.

 

Go drop a profound line on one of ya niggaz dont bring your weak minded bullshit this way little one, youre bound to be wrecked.

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God forbid playing an xbox!

 

Lets just sit on a computer and 'type' this huge amount of profound thought into a forum where half the people will bash your opinions anyway

 

But dont promote the oh so hated "lazyass fuckign behavior"

 

If you want to try to spread a message or your opinion without having your self labeled lazzyass fucking behavior get off your ass and spread it by word of mouth you fucking fool.

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Guest angry xbox
Originally posted by Kirby

I don't think so, just compare the punctuation......

 

excuse me???

 

have you ever heard of spell check...

 

stupid fucking teenagers

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Guest angry xbox

keep going bro you just make it worse on yourself when you infer from my general statement some neurotically specified and ignorant argument.

 

I didnt say i was 33 nor did i mention anything that would make me appear to be hypocritical. You saying im trying to preach to the youth proves how sadly naive and renounced towards thinking you are. Im 20 years old and im at work tht is why i can make such quick responses. Dont get big headed, you havent offended me, you just prove to me what i already see.

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Guest angry xbox

im not trying to look intellegent im just pushing at you cause you help me asses what needs to be done in situations with slime such as yourself who have to counter every thing everyone says.

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Guest angry xbox
Originally posted by Glik0

i think im lost, what do most people do on message boards?

 

people on message boards who are within a sliver of intellect try to have discussions not shit talking matches.

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stop whining and throw your pc out of the window. while you're at it, throw out your stove, microwave, washer, dryer, car/bike/blades/board/scooter, refrigerator, and toaster out too. people that are smart and not lazy don't need these. horse-drawn carraiges and wood-ignited fire in the 2k3.

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Guest angry xbox

see this is what im talking about, you cant actually engage in any form of discussion here without trying to insult me at every rebutle. Thats whats wrong with people in this country, you gotta make fun of someone when you feel inferior instead humbling oneself and trying to understand.

 

BTW if we had this argument in person you wouldnt dare say such things.

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Guest angry xbox
Originally posted by AcetOner

stop whining and throw your pc out of the window. whi're you're at it, throw out your stove, microwave, washer, dryer, car/bike/blades/board/scooter, refrigerator, and toaster out too. people that are smart and not lazy don't need these. horse-drawn carrages and wood-ignited fire in the 2k3.

 

you missed my point. I never said technology was bad I stated that "it is devolving our socety one lazy minded person at a time". Im saying some pepople get the wrong message in thinking tht technology will do everything for them and if they cant figure it out they can ask someone more inmclined. its a lazy attitude towards thinking.

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