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Guest --zeSto--

Vice Magazine - Talk Soup

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Guest --zeSto--

oh boy....

 

Quicktime clip from Talk Soup.

 

Watched the clip? Saw the girl?

well she's the same girl from myChinese Takeout thread.

 

so anyone read the new issue?

I'm going to get the shoes on the inside back cover.

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pesimistic peapod

 

thats a good magazine its not easy to come by one of those for me......

...bored0m.... maybe i wouldnt be so board if i got one.......

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my friend zach let me borrow some of his Vice magazines and they're seriously some of the funniest, best written magazines i have ever seen. good times.

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Guest sneak

i have a horrible feeling that i cant get that mag over here, id like to tho...

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Guest --zeSto--

stolen... but great !

 

Death top the Nerds

 

GoddamMit, nerds. What have you done? You’ve ruined everything. We tried to give you a hand. We reached out into the creek that runs through the high school and we pulled your drenched pants out of the water. We picked your glasses out of the garbage and handed them back to you. We even listened to your bullshit about outer space, and what do you fucking do? You fucking nerds. You shit on us.

 

From controlling the economy with Bill Gates to controlling our entertainment with Lara Croft, we gave you the world and you fucking rubbed it between your never-been-wedgied asscheeks and threw it right back in our face.

 

I guess we thought it was subversive. We liked the idea of pissing off the jocks by inviting you to parties, but we should have known it wouldn’t work (P.S. when you drank too much and yelled “I love Liz!” and ran out and then came back three hours later all covered in puke we were like, “What would he do if he ever fucking got Liz, anyway? Lay on her and cry?”).

 

Back in the good old days, when making your lives hell was an art form, our forefathers carefully lifted your underwear out of the back of your pants and tried to get the waistband over your head without ripping anything. Back then you knew your place. That generation of nerds grew up to build the XM-1 tank — the most invincible tank on earth — and they were happy with that.

 

We decided to be nicer and gave you kudos with things like Square Pegs, then Revenge of the Nerds, then Weird Science, then Sixteen Candles, then Freaks and Geeks, and we got you into Hollywood and you fucking make movies about video games with huge-breasted übervixens?

 

And how’s this for a true fact?

 

A. Nerds (Craig McCracken et all) made The Powerpuff Girls movie.

 

B. Nerds are so intimidated by girls (even baby girls) that they thought it would make perfect sense to have the heroines destroy cities and rip the bleeding heads off of monsters the whole time.

 

C. The result? A whole theater of five-year-old girls bawling their eyes out in fear.

 

Well guess what, nerds? Fuck you. Fuck fucking you. We are going to tape your buns together so tight that we’ll get muscles doing it. We are going to rip your underwear off so hard … we’re going to rip it right off and whip it down the street. And your glasses. They’re going to basically become powder. We are going to pop all your zits and eat the pus. You thought the ’50s were bad? This is going to be some psycho shit. You just try to come to school with shotguns. We’ll be hiding on the ceilings all commando-style and then PAM! just come down on you and … fucking ... eat your face right off. You’re going to be watching us eat it with your bugged-out skeleton eyeballs and your exposed teeth and you’re going to be all, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!”

 

You are so dead.

 

DARREN ALBERTY

 

Nerds (above) by Spencer Sweeney courtesy of Gavin Brown.

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wholy fuck niggers this new issue is a lot nice:

 

Johnny Cash's knife

Drawing of 50 cent deemed racist

Bouncing Souls new album review

Stories of accedents!!!

Cover: Dog made of flowers!!!!!

 

Heck nawh, ef da flippin es yeaaaha.

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Guest Sparoism

They're still around? (God, it's nice to NOT be in the know. You move out of the Mission and then BAM! instant has been/never was status. I was voted out because I could not affect the "Romulan Haircut"...I'm sure the hipsters sleep easier at night in my absence, provided they aren't loaded to the gills on cheap blow.)

 

Is it still free? Is Jim Goad still the occasional guest columnist?

 

Does anyone besides me not care about Vice? Jim Goad was the only writer I'd read, then it went straight into the recycling bin, unless someone snagged it first.

 

Here...if you are not easily offended (shit...you're on 12 oz. Strike that last remark.) and have a sense of humor (the previously struck remark applies conditionally to certain individuals), then you need to go here. Now. Stop reading this, and just point...your...browser....HERE.

 

You're welcome.

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Originally posted by Sparoism@Dec 19 2005, 10:32 AM

They're still around? (God, it's nice to NOT be in the know. You move out of the Mission and then BAM! instant has been/never was status. I was voted out because I could not affect the "Romulan Haircut"...I'm sure the hipsters sleep easier at night in my absence, provided they aren't loaded to the gills on cheap blow.)

 

Is it still free? Is Jim Goad still the occasional guest columnist?

 

Does anyone besides me not care about Vice? Jim Goad was the only writer I'd read, then it went straight into the recycling bin, unless someone snagged it first.

 

Here...if you are not easily offended (shit...you're on 12 oz. Strike that last remark.) and have a sense of humor (the previously struck remark applies conditionally to certain individuals), then you need to go here. Now. Stop reading this, and just point...your...browser....HERE.

 

You're welcome.

 

 

ok nigga we get it, your good with similies, damn, reading this dude is like listening to lloyd banks.

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haha..that was funny..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOT

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Guest Sparoism

Who's Lloyd Banks? I'll assume he's rich and handsome and that was meant to be a compliment.

 

Thank you.

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nah actually he is a corny rapper that uses punchlines every other line...but its all good, i just find these editorials bitching about some dumbshit that doesnt really matter more annoying than funny, but to each his own

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Guest Sparoism

Vice had its moment in the sun, but when they turned into a "lifestyle" magazine for hipsters, they lost me.

 

Too bad, some of the writing (David Cross, Sarah Silverman) is really good. I'm sure a lot of is simply scanned for ironic content by its target audience, who then go on to pay $500 for a pair of worn out jeans without absorbing the message behind the irony.

 

But, you're right...to each their own.

 

(I am actually a HORRIBLE rapper, and I can't dance. I can DJ, though, so maybe I'm not hopelessly caucasian.)

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yeah, its not as bad if you take all the printed material as sarcastic..then it's actually funny..BUT ONLY IF YOU DO THAT..

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I love vice

sometimes they produce mediocre issues, but some of them are just GOLDEN

 

i think i laugh out loud every time i read that magazine in a public place

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haha..yeah, its still pretty good..I have some friends who have been pretty offended by some of the articles they've ran in the last 12 months or so...but at this point in time I don't put any thing past white people, so i guess I'm not the best judge of when things have gone too far..Sparo when was it not a "lifestyle magazine for hipsters"..did I miss that?

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Guest Sparoism

It used to be more of a DJ/club mag in 1999. I think it was just the novelty, but they did an interview with Max Hardcore that was insane around that time.

 

I picked it up in 2002, and it had COMPLETELY changed into a NYC who's who.

 

Oh well, vote with your feet. I used to read it on the train, but I don't think I've picked it up since I moved.

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I think Vice was still pretty good in 2002. Certainly not like 98--99, but pretty interesting and not yet TOO self absorbed, drug- glorifying, and "new republican". I'll still pick it up these days, but it's about 85% shit.

 

It's like when Big Brother got bought by Larry Flynt, and immediately went down the tubes.

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Guest Sparoism
Originally posted by harvey wallbanger@Dec 19 2005, 07:58 PM

I think Vice was still pretty good in 2002. Certainly not like 98--99, but pretty interesting and not yet TOO self absorbed, drug- glorifying, and "new republican". I'll still pick it up these days, but it's about 85% shit.

 

It's like when Big Brother got bought by Larry Flynt, and immediately went down the tubes.

 

Good point...I dated a girl that worked for Larry Flynt Productions a few years ago, and asked her what went wrong with Big Brother. It seems that Steve Rocco had less to do with the creative end of things as time went on. They all got rich off of "Jackass", so Big Brother going downhill wasn't a big deal if you look at the bottom line.

 

At least you feel me on the old Vice...shit was waaaay more fucked up then. 2002 was when it started getting better distribution- possibly due to more ad sales? Who knows? I think the reason it's still free is that the advertisers are willing to pay higher rates for space so the publishers can put a glossy magazine out there that serves double duty as a catalog for hipster "culture".

 

I have the Jim Goad website to read now, so it's no loss to me. I'll admit that they take chances if you look at the bigger picture. Vice runs a lot of shit other magazines wouldn't touch.

 

Again, I feel like the better writing in Vice may be overlooked sometimes, but it indirectly sells jeans...and that's what matters.

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