fatguydist Posted April 22, 2001 Author Share Posted April 22, 2001 HA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 22, 2001 Share Posted April 22, 2001 distrodomis (the regulator), you should be crew. ha. secret, i am drinking plenty... at least 3 people the board will vouch for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Pilau Hands Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 why did they make this book so hard to read? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop Man Bob Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 Originally posted by fatguydist: so on tuesday night i went out with some friends and said i would just get drunk enough that i would some home drunk at 1 and go to bed... i had class the next day... so i drink two screwdrivers with 2 shots in each and take two shots when we get to the bar... then this bars speciality is HUGE long islands... like they are two handers and cost like 4 bucks.. so i have two and a half of those.. and fall asleep on the way home... opnly thats not what happened... evidentally i was mad rowdy at the bar and showing all these girls my belt(i dont know why) and when we got back my roomie was on the phone and i was yelling the whole time and i got online and did an e mail with pictures attached and talked to people on i.m. i thought i came in from the car and went to bed... i dont remember much after my first long island.. and when i woke up the next day my roomate asked if i remember hime jumping on me and yelling in my face... i said no and he explained that he was shaking me and yelling and i barley changed my breathing much less woke up... i was drunk i couldnt do anything till like 6 pm the next day... So where's the quote, tough guy? ------------------ Toilets are for the uninspired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lazy Gringo Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 Yesterday at bout 11am drunk as fuck... Shawn To random 40yr old Lady: HELLO! -Lady ignores him Mason: Whatta Slut Shawn: Ya man Id fuck her a new asshole!... Bitch is MAD fine! Just lick that PUSSY til it was gone! Mason: *laughing* Oh Hell ya! I'd Fuck that CUNT all night long! Lady (now a good 50 ft away): YOU KNOW I HAVE NO PROBLEM CALLING THE POLICE! Mason: YA! THEY'D FUCK THAT TWAT ALSO! ... I felt terribly bad the next day for being a part of this... But I cannot help but say it was one of the funniest god damn things I have ever heard [This message has been edited by Broad tip (edited 04-23-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted April 23, 2001 Share Posted April 23, 2001 Me: (filling up a natty light can with gas from lighter)..this will be sooo cool, watch this shit, hey watch this. Girls in room: okay, dont burn anything though My boy: hahahahah.. Me: (lights the can, and instantly blue flame flares out the top and onto my thumb, igniting it and my arm hair) HOLY SHIT! Girls: OH MY GOD! My boy: hahahahahahah.. Me: (rubbing my burnt thumb and arm.) Whoa fuck, that turned you on huh, want me to do it agian? Girls: LEAVE!! My boy: hahahhaa... Me: shit... Then... Me: (at waffle house with 5 other drunk guys..) shit, didnt i just eat that...? Waitress: Yes, but you just threw up. Me: oh...ok, well i dont have to pay for it twice then huh? Waitress: Leave... ------------------ Above the clouds, Above the clouds.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaperbackWriter Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 Lowest point of my life--So I'm lying on the sidewalk eating crazy bread off my stomach on st. patty's day--i was fuckin plastered i tells you!--and this really attractive sorority girl stumbles over and asks for a piece of crazy bread, so I'm all "you can have the one on the dilznick, baby!" surprisingly, she was down with this...fuck yeah for drunk quotes, they eliminate any shame on my part! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop Man Bob Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 This is someone on the board. Someone who drinks Zima. Weak, dude. http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//biggrin.gif'> http://a.PostMyPic.com/a.nsf/Z/DRUNKZAER/$file/DRUNK.JPG'> ------------------ Toilets are for the uninspired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 24, 2001 Author Share Posted April 24, 2001 HEY THAT MY SKETCH!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 looks like dood be throwing back a budweiser... someone else musta drank all "dem" zimas... "yo dist, did i do acid last night?" fat guy sucks down bitch brew faster than a cat can lick his ass... YEEHAW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MASk! Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 Zima whats the deal with that shit i was wondering who or where they drink that shit is it in rotation down south or something? I cant say ive ever seen anyone drinking those here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 24, 2001 Author Share Posted April 24, 2001 i have made it pretty clear on here im not a beer guy... i like bitch brew so what... i am still drunk way before the end of the night./.. "whats sad is i remember taking none of these pictures" "hey wanna see my new belt" "i got a new belt wanna see" "did i show you my belt" "hey that tiffany girl wants to fuck you" me: gross.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 24, 2001 Share Posted April 24, 2001 "ok... now you kiss me." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 26, 2001 Author Share Posted April 26, 2001 "hey are you a virgin??...." ".........no......." " oh " will you have sex with me?? no fuck me please no fuck me you bastard.. your scaring me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apedrape Posted April 26, 2001 Share Posted April 26, 2001 its one thing when youre hitting it that night, but when the next morning rolls around and youre going for round two, you know its over.....too much..... especially when you see her a couple days later, but at this point, i dont really give a fuck,... as long as my friends dont find out.im gonna put an end to this drinking shit..... no wait, lifes boring sober, i forgot.....ugly ones need lovin too, right?...peace in the y2k+1 shit... im a biter Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 27, 2001 Share Posted April 27, 2001 fat guy dist once said: "dood, it's buddy knuckles... but, i had no idea he was going to be that big when i printed him off my computer." i dont know if he was drunk or not, but judging by the caliber of stupidity in the comment, i am guessing he was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seek One Posted April 27, 2001 Share Posted April 27, 2001 my freind after puking: "Hmm When did i eat rice?" ....he still cant remember. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apedrape Posted April 27, 2001 Share Posted April 27, 2001 its not my fuckin kid bitch! youve got the wrong guy! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 28, 2001 Share Posted April 28, 2001 BUUUUUUUMP for the weekend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MisPantalonesEstaEnfuega Posted April 29, 2001 Share Posted April 29, 2001 From tonight, walking around the suburbs: *Beer in each hand* I'm wasted, I am so fucking drunk. - Dan kolin:This is a nice stick, lets built a fire. me:Where? kolin:here.*lights fire in middle of street.* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Step8 Posted April 29, 2001 Share Posted April 29, 2001 ordering at buger king.. my friend... fresh from Hong Kong "ya, can i have two wooper combos, with cheese" hahahahaha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*ZEMONEDOE$ Posted April 30, 2001 Share Posted April 30, 2001 what day is it? how long have i been out? i'll never drink again. im a drunkin monkey. uhh pack the bong,i drank to much tonight im to high to drink anymore is this a.a. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_SecretAgentX9 Posted April 30, 2001 Share Posted April 30, 2001 was that your girlfriend? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted May 1, 2001 Author Share Posted May 1, 2001 i am the illest post starter ever... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
squirtgunwater Posted May 1, 2001 Share Posted May 1, 2001 my friend finally reappearing after hiding out in the woods for hours from the cops: "Back from the dead Duder!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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