trucksoe Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 okay last time i'm posting but i just love these stories me on the couch passing out "no but seriously when are those girls gonna come and touch my penis...hey gimmie my pants back. fuxk i hate you guys.wait don't leave me here" "what were you guys doing in the woods?" "nothing just looking at the stars" "yeah right did you fuck her" "god no" yeah right then why's there all that bark on her back and in her hair" "we were lying down" "your fly is unzipped right now and i can see your dick" "godammit" hey ryan do a backflip off the balcony" " i don't know it's kind of far" "you can do it theres snow" "alright" ..backflip.. "oww fuck"" ..next day.. "i broke my fucking ankle last night" "oh...that sucks" outside at a party me and three friends are sitting outside with one girl who up until this moment was kinda interested in me in a pause in the conversation i can't hold it any longer and rip the loudest fart ever. we all start laughing uncontrollably. the girl looks at me, says "no wonder you don't have a girlfriend" and walks off all of these incredibly stupid stories are 100% true and they and others like them have made me realize that alcohol is very bad and the very reason why i don't have a girlfriend, money, or anything cool like that. but then i get really drunk because of those same reasons.it's a vicious cycle last one and only because i am hearing this right now outside the window girl "so how was your dick hard?" guy "it pretty much wasn't dude" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wrongo Sal Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 freind to girl: cmon kiss me girl: no your already seeing double! freind in suave voice: baby i'm seeing tripple that night ended with his girlfriend screaming at him pulling his hair and biting him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FROSTY Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 i had been drinking after school with a chum and ran into a garbage can trying to catch a football. " OHH shit i just ran into the barbage banger!" i still cant figure out what made me say that. ehh i guess it was my good ol friend jonny walker! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dik.n.ur.ear Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 spot's gay hahaahaaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.T Boy Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 my boy visiting from london with the most proper british accent "personally i think dr.dre is fucking wicked" "beat it ya fuckin hump" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoter Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 Originally posted by >>>spot<<< "lets take bets on when mask falls out" -anonymous "no lets take bets on how many dicks are drawn on his face" -anonimous "i try hard to not bite vegan, but sometimes i just cant help it" -spoter :mexican: = paus :king: = vegan OO||||||||||||||||||D:yum: = spot ^i never wrote any of that shit.slimy vegan got under my loggin.fuck no i don't bite vegan.why would i bite the person that bites me.vegan is gay and so is this stupid post. fuck you mask. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dik.n.ur.ear Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 muahahahahahha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÀEL GRINGO? Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 "Get the off the roof! your gunna break your leg" "Who are you? My mother?" "Fuck Mad bitches!" "Where did everyone go?" (on a saturday night drinking beers with just my friend) "Hey Brianna whats up!?" "who are you?" "The BINGE!"/"The BONG!" "why is there a kid in the girls bathroom? wait why are you in here?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop Man Bob Posted December 11, 2001 Share Posted December 11, 2001 This thread has become awesome once again. Reasons I love Dist - Boones T.O.D.D. Kanackers Nammer Zima He never washes his fucking clothes His room has no floor "PENIS" "VAGINA" Daniel Boones The finest China Skateboards GZA Dead frogs Awesomeness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uh and yes Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 "dood, get out of there. thats my porn..." "whoa you got porn..." "nah, lets look at yours..." "ok" spot is the whiniest bitch i have ever met. even tiffany wouldnt fuck his ass. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoter Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 i regret not racking your discontinued paint stash.i need to be more mean.we didn't even get to write on your face....but wait, that's been done before hahahaha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
distrodomis Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 former face writer man i havent been drunk in so long... halloween was the last i dont remember much but getting a huge bag of pot... and someone holding a 20 oz coke up to my face half coke half tokillya.... or so it seemed... if not for that i would have had better quotes... a smoking one: me: you shoudl try smoking out of the bong with no water... roger: naw i like watching the little grey bubbles pop while im hitting it cuz i know they get me hiiiiiiigghhhh.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ASER1NE Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 it would take me about 25 more beers b4 im gonna fuck you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeopoldBloom Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 All right... this is the sickest thread going and I've been trying to think of the last time I got messed up enough to act super retarded. So here ya go...this was about a year ago... So my girlfriend and I are newly moved into our last place and we decide that it's a good idea to celebrate the new place. 3 mixed drinks and 3 beers later (I only weigh 155) we're watching The Family Guy (on Fox, if you don't know what I'm talking about, you need to find out)... This show is usually a fucking riot but being a little unsober doesn't hurt. Skip to the middle of this show and some joke gets us laughing pretty hard, so hard that I can't stop and prety much start to piss myself. This was bad enough seeing as I haven't pissed on myself since I was 2 or something ...so I thought it would be a good idea to take off my pants–so I don't ruin them or something–and have this little fountain action going on. At this point, my girl gets a little upset that I'm pissing all over the living room and this conversation follows: "What the fuck are you doing?! You're pissing on the couch!" "I dinnit wanna ruin my new panns..." "You're fucking pissing on the couch!" "Hahaha... it's a fountain..." "Fuck! At least go in the cat's litter box!" (which is closer than the bathroom) (in the litterbox) "Meow meow... hahaha...hahaha... I'm such a pussy." (Finish pissing) "No you're a fucking retard." "Come on baby, you wanna get some pussy tonight?" "Fuck you." She remembered the whole thing the next day, I just wondered why the cat knocked litter all over the floor and pissed so much. Word-for-word, my girl never forgets a thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uh and yes Posted December 12, 2001 Share Posted December 12, 2001 Originally posted by >>>spot<<< i regret not racking your discontinued paint stash.i need to be more mean.we didn't even get to write on your face....but wait, that's been done before hahahaha. i hate you. some dumb ass erased your shit off our dry-erase board. i thougt it was humorous that you were all "fuck fetus" when you were the one who couldnt get laid. haha, and she was even drunk. spot has no game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoter Posted December 13, 2001 Share Posted December 13, 2001 i probably hate you more mah man it' kinda hard to get laid when the first thing you say even before introducing me is "hey spot you wanna fuck tiffany...who wants to fuck tiffany".out loud.god you're an idiot when you're wasted.:crazy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dik.n.ur.ear Posted December 13, 2001 Share Posted December 13, 2001 its all good i just got a picture that proves who has game and who does it...you think i should post it?:eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uh and yes Posted December 13, 2001 Share Posted December 13, 2001 i hate everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DEADONE Posted December 13, 2001 Share Posted December 13, 2001 after a long night of drinking i fellasleep at this girls house. she woke up right before me and when i woke up she said "man i am glad you woke up" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dik.n.ur.ear Posted January 6, 2002 Share Posted January 6, 2002 i am bumping this for good reasons Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wanker Posted January 6, 2002 Share Posted January 6, 2002 :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted January 6, 2002 Share Posted January 6, 2002 "Is it cold out, should i put my coat on..?" "Your taco?" "no my coat, what the fuck are you talking about?" "I dont have any cold tacos you fuck, your sooo fucked up?!" "I am, you just said my taco! after i asked about puttin my coat on...?" "Lets smoke a cig..." "naw i dont think hes here yet" "huh..?" "what?" "lets go.." "ok!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted January 6, 2002 Share Posted January 6, 2002 Shameless that's hilarious!!:D :D Similar conversations have happened with me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
graffsurgeon Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 "yeah they used to sleep on horsefeathers, i wonder how comfy those were" -me "horsefeathers..?" -my boy "yeah, fuckface what i said" -me "oh shit" -me well maybe i was high.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FROSTY Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 im sure ive posted this before. i was runnin down the street and ran into a garbage can. this is what i said. "ohh shit i juz noked over tha barbage banger" now i use that work for the garbage bin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Dazzle Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 This happened about a year ago.... Me and two friends were already wasted and drinking more on a bench. Long story short the cops got called, we ran, they caught us. Wrote us all tickets for: Drinking in public, (at the time) underage drinking, littering, and evading police. When they let me out of the car I said: "So, can I have my alcohol back?" They were non too pleased.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wrongo Sal Posted January 7, 2002 Share Posted January 7, 2002 "dude..i think all this drinking is killing my brain cells...no seriously, i haven't been able to think the same." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E.pantusso Posted January 15, 2002 Share Posted January 15, 2002 -"matt, you ever hear your cat fart? whats it sound like???" matt -.. . pause.... . stare.... . pause.... . "hahaha.. .........pussyfarts" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SatAn's SluT Posted January 20, 2002 Share Posted January 20, 2002 "I feel like a......... calculator!" "A pole is like a pole... and you dont want to touch a pole!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imported_YEAHMANWORD Posted January 21, 2002 Share Posted January 21, 2002 i go to college upstate in new york and aside from athletics all i do is go to class and get extremely drunk 3 to four days a week. me and my boys start drinking saturday morning after practice at 11am, watch espn, pass out at like 3, wake up at 5, start drinking again in the cafeteria which is one of my most favorite activities. i get shitfaced and make fun of all the fuckin freaks and douchebags. go out at around 10 or 11 then get back at 4. i am particularly irresponsible when ive been drinking. i live on the ninth floor of my building and we are notorious for being the worst behaved floor on campus. weve stolen a 7 foot tall potted plant from the cafeteria and threw it out the lounge window. that shit shattered on the roof of the security office and they started filling out a suicide report cause they though someone jumped out a window. one night we got this kid to pull the fire alarm so hundreds of kids had to stand outside in the freezing cold at 5am while they declared the building safe.. hahahahaha we woke up everyone in the fucking building yo..hysterical...throwing 40 bottles at campus security golf carts from 100 feet up is also an extremely challenging and self-fulfilling experience. my sXe friend john:"dude, youre more of a drunk than my priest" hahahaha that shit was mad funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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