The Helacious Dr. Dazzle Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 "Yo, am I bleeding?" After putting my arm through a school window "If I ever see those sonsobitches again I'll..." friend falls over while punching thin air. "Mikey likey!" "Hey, is your cat a guy or a girl?""I don't know, let's find out!" Dude, how old's your sister?""Uh, I think she's like 13.""Sweeeet, get her down here!" "Turn that fucking music down!!" So many have been said already...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Helacious Dr. Dazzle Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 This is a great fucking post I keep thinking of more.... At the Wendy's drivethru.... "Hey, there's a fucking hair in my burger!" "You haven't even got your burger yet, sir" Gotta love terrorizing the fast food joints Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CATS Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 I did not read others posts cause I am lazy. But one of my favorites was my good old home boy hooked this up proper. We were all drunk at a BBQ and this chick I used to jock before she hooked up with some shitfaced loser was there,along with her ex shitfaced loser, I was pouring drinks at the bar and this girl winks at me. My homie catches it and with the microphone in hand tells her. YOU KNOW HE WOULD HAVE FUCKED YOU BEFORE ADAM DID, BUT KNOW HES OVER YOU SHIT BITCH, FUCK ... WAIT..., trying to whisper tome with microphone still on in hand, you wanna fuck this bitch I smile cause everyone heard. HE SHOUTS OH HE'LL FUCK YOU AND I THINK HES DRUNK SO HE CAN LIE ABOUT FUCKING YOU AND MEANING IT TOMMORRA. needless to say we romped, but it was comedy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Remy Martin Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 hahahhhahahahahahhah nice is funny... i had a similar experience...drinking fortys...went to store to get more fortys..freind at store had vial of lsd..remy was with friend and they decided to have a contest to see who could take more.. 15 drops later.... i had decided that we existed in a micro chip and were merely a circuit in a computer program orbiting in space..therefore it was perfectly logical to call my friends and tell them that i was not appreciating the programs they were writing that was making the floors in my kitchen boil.. then writer friends come over... i was convinced that we were secretly being trained by goverment for covert operations and everything made sense for about 15 seconds then i decided i needed to reprogram new neighbors. in the meantime my girl who was sober and my boy who drunk as fuck and completley out of reality start fighting.. and im like..cool they are using the fighting program. meanwhile my writer friends who are sober more than me anyway, are leaving and refused to take me to the mall to get "airmax body suits for covert operations" dont do drugs. funny qoutes... "what country are we in?" "but i like the volcano, it goes well with the flowers" im suprised i still remember this shit. nise's qoutes were funnier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Remy Martin Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 Originally posted by niseNSF i pull my one boy close to my face, like im gonna make a dying declaration, and i whisper, in all seriousness: "pussy is not the bare minimum" thats fucking hillarious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 Me to this angry girl at the party im at... "ooh look at me im so fat and angry!" angry drunk girl to me: "Fuck you, asshole...adam?!" (adams her boyfriend) me.. "ha..oh shit, its on..?!" her big ass boyfriend comes up and is like: "You fucking with my girl?" me.. "fuck no man, im not into that whole large woman fad" him.. *punch* me.. "ouch fucker, you made me drop my beer" that was a great night, and it made the 3rd time my nose has be broken... "here microwave this ravioli for me, im starving" "ok" I throw it over my shoulder and it splatters onto the wall.. "that was open dick head!" "oh..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 "How the fuck did you guys get a university golf cart into our dorm room?" "i have a girlfriend?" "Look im a tyranusaurus rex, ROOOOAAR!" "damn this cigarette tastes like shit!" "thats cause your smoking it backwards yo.." "oh.." "Oh shit, a rail workers coming, run.." we run like shit into the woods.. "you fucker, thats chris!" "oh..well can you get me outta this bush then" "im not taking you anywhere drunk agian" "fuck you im not drunk...hey wered my paint go?" "its in your bookbag." "oh, i forgot i brought it....." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOE-FOO Posted October 17, 2001 Share Posted October 17, 2001 "the vending machine didnt give me my jesus!" -samo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TOE-FOO Posted October 18, 2001 Share Posted October 18, 2001 ahhh who could forget "take pictures?" , still have no idea what you were talking about before i said that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T.T Boy Posted October 18, 2001 Share Posted October 18, 2001 " ican do most street tricks but i prefer the surf style maneuvers" "that bee can smell the flowers" oh man i cant remember shit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inkjunkie34 Posted October 18, 2001 Share Posted October 18, 2001 "girl, you got the fattest ass" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mudpuddle Posted October 18, 2001 Share Posted October 18, 2001 the black widow: "these girls are stupid here, they don't know nothing. i want both you big boys in the back room now! yea, you AND you friend." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr. frink one Posted October 18, 2001 Share Posted October 18, 2001 http://www.internerd.com/frinky/images/screenshots/no-on-24.gif'> Hanging out with a lot of people and my girlfriend. While my girlfriend is right in front of me talking I go "Hey, YOU!(some really hot girl), show me your tits" my girlfriend gets all mad (god knows why) and starts yelling at me. While she is yelling at me the girl i yelled it to slyly shows me her tits. I then turn to my girlfriend and say, hey, did you see those, those tits were fucking nice.... that night didn't end well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr. frink one Posted October 18, 2001 Share Posted October 18, 2001 Originally posted by apedrape its not my fuckin kid bitch! youve got the wrong guy! hhahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
otherwise Posted October 18, 2001 Share Posted October 18, 2001 i used this one last weekend after a couple percacets and sum natrual light(yummy): get your hands off me I'm cereal. cereal=serious. the whole party ragged on me for that. trool is tippy=tool is trippy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Helacious Dr. Dazzle Posted October 19, 2001 Share Posted October 19, 2001 Bumpity-Bump!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theFUME Posted November 22, 2001 Share Posted November 22, 2001 bump Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack Morris Posted November 22, 2001 Share Posted November 22, 2001 me as soon as I get done throwing up I turn to the girl that was making sure I wasn't dead and ask her if she wants to make out....i didn't succeed. "I can hold a shoe up with my dick" while drunk..again chasing a fat girl around a party trying to piss on her"Don't worry there is no cholesterol or saturated fat in urine...you need it"...watching a scrawny naked drunk chase a fat drunk had to be hilarious to the on-lookers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uh and yes Posted November 22, 2001 Share Posted November 22, 2001 a drink/high conversation with the fat guy: "did he ask you to join the i hate w***.... ohh, no." "something about buttholes..." "ew." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hush Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 haha stoned ones are the best, I was in whistler fried out of my mind and I needed to piss so I walk to the bathroom and open the door and craiger is takin a shit, he was like "hey dude what the fuck" I was like "oh shit man sorry" so I went and sat down and had a cig and I thought i seen him walk out but I opened the door and he was still there, this time pullin his pud, ah jeeze it was haneous. for drunk quotes my buddy dg, while he was puking into a huge measuring cup thing for juice "YAh baby, two cups!" at a bush party "oh shit everybody its the cops run!," "thats not the cops thats your mom" "oh" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ÀEL GRINGO? Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 Originally posted by Broad tip "whereus dooyouwantus to putus"... traslation: Where do you want us to put this? "Im not drunk" Dont have any direct quotes on reserve just foul memories... -Peeing on the floor next to the toilet -Peeing with the toilet seat down -Falling down various stairs "who are you?" "catch" -Walked through screen door/broke screen door -never puked on anyone thank god Dont remember shit if I were billed for all the shit I broke on accident when I was drunk I'd be bankrupt though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smart Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 Time is merely an abstract principle invented by carbon based life forms to measure their own decay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest 455 Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 After sitting at the bar forever getting "shitfaced"...I will usually look around and go "Jesus Fuckin' Christ...I'm loaded" or when someone asks me if I'm drunk...I always turn and look at them without saying a word..sometimes facial expressions are more powerful than words...it's called "common sense" or like right now...I just say.."Damn,I'm hella tired" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted December 7, 2001 Share Posted December 7, 2001 Originally posted by 455 After sitting at the bar forever getting "shitfaced"...I will usually look around and go "Jesus Fuckin' Christ...I'm loaded" or when someone asks me if I'm drunk...I always turn and look at them without saying a word..sometimes facial expressions are more powerful than words...it's called "common sense" or like right now...I just say.."Damn,I'm hella tired" WTF? are you loaded now? Was that english or retarded...? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uh and yes Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 "who wants to fuck my friend tiffany!?" "it goes black guys, italian guys, persian guys... persian guys have big dicks..." "ok, there's a lil bit a beer left... if everyone drinks one more, this shit will be floated... ah, fuck it." "OLIVES!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spoter Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 "lets take bets on when mask falls out" -anonymous "no lets take bets on how many dicks are drawn on his face" -anonimous "i try hard to not bite vegan, but sometimes i just cant help it" -spoter :mexican: = paus :king: = vegan OO||||||||||||||||||D:yum: = spot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac#1 Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 Ffuuucckk! I just fell down in front of the hot chick in the hot pants! Ffuucckk! A friend after falling down a flight of stairs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dBUSH Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 "that never happened, youre a liar" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trucksoe Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 just a few "hey girl you like the smoked sausage" "let's get crazy i'm out of control!!!" shane then sits down and immediately passes out "hey c'mon girl just get naked" "no" pants are stripped off and thrown into the bushes "cmon i'm already naked right now..it's cool" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trucksoe Posted December 10, 2001 Share Posted December 10, 2001 also me and my friend got really drunk at this high school party and decided to be jim morrison just like on the mangina tape "hey baby you wanna fuck!?? "fuck me!" cmon baby lets fuck" "you got two guys over here from colorado that will fuck every last one of you" "hey you wanna fuck?!" "cmon lets fuck" needless to say no one got laid there was also "hey fuck you beardy mcgaygay" everyone got kicked out of the party the stupidest of all me: i'm going to sleep later two minute later i wake up to this gabe:wake up you pussy get up! me:no i'm tired leave me alone gabe: what theres no tired wake up! wake up!. you fucking bitch. look at you sleeping. you might as well be dead well me i'm alive! I'M ALIVE! you pussy get up! LET's LIVE! gabe then pours gin all over me and my bed soaking me, while dancing around screaming i'm alive me: leave me alone you're insane gabe walks away and i finally think i'm safe two minutes later i wake up to a horrible burning sensation on my ass and face Gabe is burning me with a very hot blow dryer me:okay that's fucking it we jump up and start brawling, run downstairs to the living room ands it deteriorates to us rolling around and wrestling for ten minutes and then we just lie there exhausted my roomate walks in and says " what the fuck are you guys doing and why are you laying on eachother in you underwear. you guys are homos" it was the only ending that could have properly finished the night Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.