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help a fatty out


effyoo

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Dear Prudie,

Is there any polite way to tell a friend that the clothes she wears are unsuitable for her? She is a size 24. Over the years she has put on about 130 pounds but still dresses as if she were a sylph. Sometimes the clothes are so tight you can see the cellulite underneath. It's made worse because mutual friends keep telling me how horrid she looks and "why don't I talk to her?" I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I don't want her to be the laughingstock, either. What do you advise?

 

—Up in Arms

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How long have you known this cupcake?

 

A hundred and thirty pounds? She-e-it. That's like a whole 'nother woman in this babe's shoes. If you've known her ten years that's thirteen pounds a year, or about a pound a month more or less.

She needs to start EXERCISING and needs to stop chowing down so hard. I'm not criticizing her, because I've gained about thirty-five pounds my own self in the last twenty years. All you young know-it-alls out there are going to gain weight too, so just stop being so damned cruel to fatbodies.

I ran into one of my old running buddies from high school a couple of years ago, and not only was he fat , he was also bald. "Your turn's a'comin', little high school boys." Better get ready to BLIMP OUT. And then the kids younger than you can put bumper stickers on their junker cars "NO FAT, OLD, BALD GUYS." And it will be YOU they are talking about, Ha hah hah hah!

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  • 9 years later...
you could always suggest a stylish moomoo and buy her a dialing wand. some of yall know what i mean.

 

:D:D

 

"The fingers you have used to dial, are too fat, to obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your palm now."

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