Guest cracked ass Posted April 18, 2001 Share Posted April 18, 2001 The last girl I was feeling up fell asleep on me. That was, what...summer of '99... *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Green Posted April 18, 2001 Share Posted April 18, 2001 bump for the last two posts. laughing so hard my afro is straightening out. kahzow! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 my roomates girlfriend fell asleep while giving him and hand job... if you know my roomate this joke will be more funny to others.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clay-Burner Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 Originally posted by cracked ass: The last girl I was feeling up fell asleep on me. That was, what...summer of '99... *sigh* http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//biggrin.gif'> haha.....damn...thats good Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yel 2k Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 ok this one time i was fuckin my girl her top riding when she was moving front to back and one time moved forward without lifting and bent my boner and it made this loud crack... one time i was hitting it from behind and noticed a far tighter hole and go smacked for fuckin it any sex during period gets loud and sounds funny tonight i started a conversation about fear factory while fuckin cause thats what i was listening to at the time Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secret Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 A "sexual mishap" happened to me last night... I thought it only happened to girls when they're virgins! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnes 37 Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 Originally posted by Secret: A "sexual mishap" happened to me last night... I thought it only happened to girls when they're virgins! tell me about it..ha ha ha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 19, 2001 Share Posted April 19, 2001 damn that sucks secret... kinda gross but it happens i guess.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 nevermind... [This message has been edited by maskoner (edited 04-19-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 i hate myself... and EVERY GIRL I KNOW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest imported_El Mamerro Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 The first time I ever went down on a girl, it was with a Mom. She had a 2 year old girl, who was in the room next door and I felt like such a dirty fuckin bastard... I loved it. So anyways, I was going down on her having no idea what the hell to do, and I guess I hit the spot and she started trembling all over the place, and I was like "Oh yeah..." So she builds up, and builds up and BLLLLLWWWWWEEEEEEPPPP!!!!... She farts all over my fuckin face, and I feel something liquid and warm splatter around my mouth and chin. I was so shocked I just stared at her... and she was still squirming as if nothing had happened. I was thinking "You just fucking shit all over my face. YOU SHIT ON MY MOUTH YOU FUCKIN WHORE!!!!" So I wiped my chin on my hands and smelled them, and it wasn't shit. It was clear and it smelled like pussy. It took me a while to realize it was just a monster orgasm pussy fart, but it really scared the living shit out of me. Pussy farts rock. Secret... ewww, hehe. "It doesn't fit, man. Dude, this shit DOESN'T FIT!!!" Hahaha, oh God, the fear. Beer, El Mamerro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OPIUM3 Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 I'm familiar with the dirty sanchez, and the cleveland steamer, but whats the chili dog? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OPIUM3 Posted April 20, 2001 Share Posted April 20, 2001 Originally posted by maskoner: dirty sanchez- taking a girl from behind... and then mid vag-intercourse, jam your index/pointer finger into the anus, and slide your finger across her upper lip; giving her the ultimate moustache... dirty sanchez. from what i hear around my area... dirty sanchez is givin someone head while they are simultaneously takin a shit on the toilet.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yel 2k Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 opium thats a slumpkin not a dirty sanchez me personally i like the steaming dragon when your getting head right before you bust you wack her in the back of the head and your cum comes out her nose like a dragons steaming nostrils Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poop Man Bob Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 Maskoner -- Tell us more stories. http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//biggrin.gif'> ------------------ Toilets are for the uninspired. [This message has been edited by Poop Man Bob (edited 04-21-2001).] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 damn it pooper, i can never say anything on here again.... and, BOY, DO WE GOT STORIES! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fatguydist Posted April 21, 2001 Share Posted April 21, 2001 so last night on of my friends call... he has a girlfriend... and he says fuck im drunk im about to have a threeway.. and i was like fuckin sick dood who are the girls?? and he is like naw its this guy i know and this hott ass chick... and i am like duuuuuuuuuuude that fuckin gross never a male male female, maybe male female female.. and he explains it as dood when your making out with a girl with one of your frineds at the same time its awesome... my stomach turned over and i was like greeeeeeaaaaaaattttttttt... his girlfriend is badass too i donno what his deal is.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 28, 2001 Share Posted April 28, 2001 i'm not about to let this thread sink... either you kids arent getting enuf sex, or youre getting really good and not having "mishaps"... so lets get drunk and fuck... then talk about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Southern kid Posted April 29, 2001 Author Share Posted April 29, 2001 Originally posted by cracked ass: The last girl I was feeling up fell asleep on me. That was, what...summer of '99... *sigh* damit..maybe i'm more like you than i thought. mask: for me to have a mishap i gotta have something. right? thankfully i've never had a solo mishap. except that one time i tried for the power shower. i dont know about you guys..but it seems to me i'm the only one who's sticky shit gets even stickier when mixed with water. other than that i've got the solo missions down. thats sad... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted April 29, 2001 Share Posted April 29, 2001 haha s-kid... time for another party... and fast! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shameless self promotion Posted May 2, 2001 Share Posted May 2, 2001 This one time me and my girl had just gotten done with goin at eachother and im laying down after it right onto her chest, my hips are between her legs and what not, and all of a sudden i hear a PHHHHRRRRRRRRRT! Really loud, like echoed. I just look at her, and shes like what the fuck was that? And i was like what the fuck are you asking me for?? Your the one who did it...! She didnt even know that she queefed...it was damn funny, i explained it to her and she was totally clueless...good innocent stuff...she hasnt done it since, and that was 3 years ago, so thats cool.. ------------------ Above the clouds, Above the clouds.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted May 3, 2001 Share Posted May 3, 2001 i like to tickle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyeBddub Posted May 5, 2001 Share Posted May 5, 2001 So get this.. tonite I was fucking this guy up the ass.. really giving it to him.. just fucking him right in the ass.. so he reaches around and starts playing with my balls... so im doing him from behind and hes playing with my nuts and im just thinking... "man, what a fag" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maskoner Posted May 5, 2001 Share Posted May 5, 2001 Originally posted by knowlej: and im just thinking... "man, what a fag" oh, shit... haha a lot of time i hit this kid up on girls' stomachs with my tongue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SPLINTER Posted May 5, 2001 Share Posted May 5, 2001 southern you are not alone i actually learned how to fix that cum and water thing. see you flood the shower a little and cum into the flood and the n let the flood drain before it hits the bottom. works well. cracked consider yourself lucky man. i havent got that far but then again your old enough to be my uncle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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