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Guest chicken bone

memories

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Guest chicken bone

OK, so close your eyes and think back to your childhood (or teenage years if you happen to be an old man), or to a proximety of a long time ago. And tell me about a memory.

 

This story is from my days as a wee little shit in the halls of an Elementary School.

 

First grade.

 

I remember before we arrived to class, we had to hang up our backpacks and stuff outside on a row of plastic hooks next to the bathroom which was located near the classroom.

 

Well it was like bling-bling credo for a little kid to be flossing mad gameboy games back in the day, so naturally everyone knew which big mouth had the most games and on the playground, you could always find one of these kids lost in the center of a game trading session.

 

I owned 2 games. Tetris and Mario. These are good games, but after playing them for the thousandth time, it got shitty. Seeing nothing wrong with the aquisition of a few new games, I formulated a fool-proof plan.

 

My little plan began with me asking the teacher if I could pee. When granted, I would make my way to the bathroom but stop short to where the backpacks were hung up. Each one had a name tag which made it easier for me to find and go through each pre-described gameboy kid's backpack, rack every single game, transfer them to my bag, all in the duration of a supposed poo-poo break.

 

I was set, and I even ended up with two copies of mario and contra.

 

*grammer bitch

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Guest sneak

hmmm....lemme think a sec....

 

*much deliberating later*

 

my story is about the time i first smoked the bud....it was a warm sunday afternoon and me and 2 mates were up in london enjoying the holidays. one of them pulled out a doobie and passes it round. i remember toking it and feeling nuthin....untill i got home and had the funniest time being questioned by my mother about what id done...then i ate and watched tv.

 

that was 3 days ago.........hahaha, jokes

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back in kindergarten...

my friends and i were obsessed with blowing things up and fire

we made little sand volcanoes with sprite and alkaseltzer

we made little bomb type things out of the paper towels in the bathrooms

we burned ants and other insects with magnifying glasses

 

but we soon got tired of all these minor things

well we came up with a plan to make a cupcake explode

(i dont remember the plan but it didnt make any sense)

so on the way to school i grabbed a book of matches from my dads glovebox, my other friend brought a little plastic juice container full of gas and my other friend brought some oil.

 

well when cupcake time(we got cupcakes every thursday) came everyone went out into the playground to eat their treat, being the hoodlums that we were we set off towards the playground also with our devious little selves.

 

well we couldnt find an appropriate place to blow up said cupcake

so we traveled to this wooden train (that kids could sit in to pretend they were conductors or whatnot) it was a good 5 foot high and about 10 feet long and was in the corner of the playground. well we setup the cupcake for explosion (not mine because i was hungry) all of my friends were too pussy to light the match and blow the thing up so i stepped up to the plate and lit the match.

 

well we must have put a bit too much gas in the cupcake and the thing lit up like madness and out of control, well the train was made of all wood and it was a hot day. well the paint on the train caught on fire and the whole thing went up in flames in a matter of a few minutes. we ran and hid under the jungle gym hoping that no one had seen us. but alas when the fire department came and the teacher started questioning everyone my one friend broke down and told them that we were to blame. we got sent to the principal and were promtly suspended for a week (haha what a punishment huh?!) and we all were given a stern lecture by the fire cheif on how fire isnt to be played with and how matches and gas arent toys to be played with.

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i lived on a really slow traffic street, but cars would come by every once in a while...for some reason this really bothered me and my best friend. so we rigged some james bond type boobie trap from the tree overhanging the street at the stop sign. it was a trip wire made of fishing line, so the cars couldn't see it, and when tripped it triggered an empty coke can filled with sand to come crashing into the side of the car. it was seriously some of the funniest shit ever. people would get mad pissed, but fuck them, we win!

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grade 2

 

you know when your mom gave you the same thing every day for lunch, and you get sick of it, so you try to trade it?

 

well, my friend got corn chips for a snack every day and he would trade them with this girl so she would show us her pussy. back in grade 2.

 

if it were only that easy now.....

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i remember in like 4th grade i wrote my middlename was here on everyones binders in pencil. Someone told the teacher. We had to have a class meeting. I was stressing, they sat there in silence till i confessed. I was soo depressed haha. It was in fucking pencil. So later we got in a group and i had to talk about it with the teacher. The teacher asked me why i did it, i said i wasnt thinging. I felt sooo guilty. HAHA, so i got off but it still was cool.

 

Ok that story was lame i admit it. But its true.

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another one rookie styles

 

sorry about the length, i got on a storrytelling roll

 

i smoked bud for the first time in grade 11 we went out behind this portable that they stored the football equipment in. it was me and 2 friends from our little crew that we hung out with.

 

so we smoke a little pinner get baked and proceed to roam the halls. people looking at me are like "dude you're chied! (china eyed) open up your eyes, man!". So you know i'm steeoned

 

Anyway, lunch is finishing up and one guy is all " oh shit! i gotta go to english class! i got a essay test right now!" so me and my other friend laugh our asses off and continue along to she student council room where we have a sweet setup thanks to friend no. 1

 

get this- a tv, a couch, and a old school nintendo! this is stoner heaven, and its in school! so we play nintendo for awhile then we get the munchies. we're broke so the store isn't an option. then we spy the box where the food bank donations were kept. sweet! they have canned peaches! 2 of them! so we finally get them oopen and skarf them down.

 

3rd period is now over and the last class of the day begins. Physics. I'm like "i'll skip it" but about 10 min. into class time i get paranoid and i decide to go. i walk in with my head down, interrupting teach in the middle of some formulas and take my seat in the second row.

i'm thinking its all good, but the teacher keeps looking at me. i just pretend i'm taking notes.

 

then its hits me...the burn out... my head was nodding ....i couldn't stay awake and teach notices this. So i get up, gather my things rather clumsily and walk right up to him, look him in the eye and say " i don't feel good. i'm leaving." he looks at me and says " i understand"

 

Then i went back to the couch and passed out till the end of the day.

oh yeah, buddy aced his essay.

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Guest chicken bone

When I was around 5, I used to chant "Surfing in the chicken bone!!!" repeatedly whilst standing on a swing, moving side to side and spinning around instead of forwards and backwards. This was very innocent and fun until I hit my sister in the head by accident.

 

Hence my name, thus revealed to you through another clever story.

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Guest Stapler
Originally posted by effyoo

grade 2

 

you know when your mom gave you the same thing every day for lunch, and you get sick of it, so you try to trade it?

 

well, my friend got corn chips for a snack every day and he would trade them with this girl so she would show us her pussy. back in grade 2.

 

if it were only that easy now.....

 

Shit I used to get to see a certain girls pussy every day for my first 3 years of primary school for nothing..........Damm I wish I still knew that hoe...............:cool:

 

In primary school I was on a roof of a shed in my school grounds. My friends and I were breaking all the windows in this other old school building being rented out. SO anyways I was getting dow to get some more rocks when a woman comes out to se what the fuck is going on. My friend doesn`t notice her and throws a rock smack into her head. So when he realises what has happened he jumps down off the roof grabs me and we leg it. Only problem was next day at school the teacher knew he was there, turns out the woman was in the room next to where we were breaking windows and spotted him when he got out the door. Luckily she hadn`t seen me and he didn`t say shit. All he had to do in the end was apologize after my school tried to make him cry and such saying we are going to make your mum pay for the windows.......HE didn`t give a fuck......

And I also clayed all the locks in the same building. I did it because a certain person who had a rented roomin there for a buisness was annoying me. I ended up getting rated on but denied I had done anything but simply moul clay around the locks. And the kid who ratted me I said did it. He ended up having to pay $2000 for the new locks.....HAHAHA teach that little rat

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When I was 8, I was living in france, and crossing the border into switzerland everyday to go to an english-based school. My family were sent over because the company my dad worked for needed him there for a few years. So they paid for everything, and I got to go to an incredibly expensive school. Being so close to Geneva, it was full of Ambassador's kids, it was fusking sweet. In my class there was german kids, amercian kids, chinese kids, dutch kids, italian kids, egyptian kids, israeli kids, nigerian kids, english kids etc......... I really believed that that was normal and that everywhere was that diverse.....this was of course shattered by my return to this accursed isle. I digress... Anyway, I used to eat my lunch in a huge bomb shelter - complete with huge door and air filters and shit, I never really thought anything of it, because all the houses I had visited in switzerland had bomb shelters, I think its a legal requirement. *Anyway*, one day I come in to school and there are fucking soldiers on the roof with fucking ak47s!!!! Huge big men with guns (big ones, no pussy handgun shit) everywhere. They stayed for like a week. None of the teachers mentioned it, no one said anything.

Eventually I found out that it had something to do with Yassir Arafat being in town......................................................anywho, thats my story

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Originally posted by bodice_ripper

it was fusking sweet. In my class there was german kids, amercian kids, chinese kids, dutch kids, italian kids, egyptian kids, israeli kids, nigerian kids, english kids etc......... I really believed that that was normal and that everywhere was that diverse.....this was of course shattered by my return to this accursed isle.

 

thats just like living in canada... i had more non-white friends than whiteys until i got to high school

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Originally posted by bodice_ripper

Anyway, I used to eat my lunch in a huge bomb shelter

 

the school across the way from mine was a bomb shelter.... it had no windows in it until it was turned into a school

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Guest postaholic

good thread, but no time for it right now...

 

buuuuuuuuuuuuuump!

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Guest Canadiano

my first school fight was in jk. I had just transferred into the class, as I had moved the previous week. My mom and my teacher walked me into the class, and before the teach even had time to introduce me to the class, this kid Mike yelled "NEW KID" and ran at me and threw one of those wooden blocks at me. I dodged it and we rolled around throwing punches. It was all good, though - no one cried.

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back in elementary school my friends and i were the bunch of rowdy-ass kids that terrorize the neighborhood, schoolyard, etc (i'm sure many of you can relate).

in 3rd grade we started getting into skateboarding, watching the "bones brigade" videos, and really getting into launch ramps, wall riding, all that old-school stuff. the skateboardingless void of the 8 hour school day left us all a bit antsy with the need to roll, so we did what any little kid would do in the same situation: we pretended.

we'd run around the playground "ollieing" off stuff, wall riding everything, just stomping around while making skateboarding noises, yelling and screaming like a bunch of banshees.

some favorite tricks were:

-throwing sand out onto the smooth asphalt in front of the new modular classrooms and "powersliding" around (if you could do a 360° you were the_shit)

-we laid wax down really thick on the curb that goes around the track, and we'd grind it.

-jumping off the bar 3 feet above the big, wide metal slide and landing on our knees (ow.)

-jumping off the bar 6 feet above the canopy of bolted-together tires suspended a foot off the ground.

 

once the yard duties see you doing this shit day after day they'd finally get mad and tell you to knock it off. this always propted us to get clever and find new ways to try and kill ourselves on school grounds.

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Guest Swizel

When i was in 9th grade I hung out with the skaters. we where all littel hoodlums. we would set fires and all kinds of shit. Well one day we were skating down at this ditch and we had all kinds of exploivs (fireworks) and some home made napalm. So we decide to blow some shit up. So we had good fun for a while. Then got board. So I decide we should make a catupolt. So we did then I took a Shit on the end of it. We covered it in Black Powder And napalm. Then proceded to launch it onto the street. So we do. Then as this flaming pile for shit is flying onto the street. this deasel drives by. And the flaming shit hit it's window. It was the funniest thing I have ever seen to this day.

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Guest illwill

when i was in kindergarten, if you were bad the teacher would make you stand in a corner during recess.i was stuck there. i was yelling for her to come over there, when she did i told her i had to go to the bathroom, she told me id have to wait till after recess. i really had to go so i pissed in front of her and on her shoe. i got suspended and didnt get to go to recess for two months. but she let me go to the bathroom any time i wanted.

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when my parents wanted me to learn how to swim they took me to the ymca. first lesson the instructor had my dad throw me in the water. i never went back.

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Guest socrates

I used sit in the corner of the playground and through rocks at a pole to hear them go *ding*

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oh man.. that reminds me of another story.

 

this time i was in 4th grade. all the kindergarteners were running around the track, and for some reason couple of friends and i were throwing rocks as hard as we could from the middle of the track. we threw them diagonally over the kids that were running and into the grass field.

we were only doing this for about 20 seconds before i picked up a huge rock (a few inches in diameter) and chucked it hard. really hard. i swear to god, it flew straight at this little girl's head like a fucking patriot missle and smacked her right in the forehead hard enough to knock her down. she got up and started crying, so my friends and i split (after the astonishment wore off).

i never got caught. i still feel awful. i'm lucky she didn't go retarded or something..

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Guest chicken bone

I remember the coolest thing was when you got dry ice and you put it in the sink and pretended you were a wizard cooking magic stew.

 

Word.

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