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funny stories about retards.


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I don't know about you guys, but in my high school all the down syndrome kids made the high honor roll and all they did was walk around the halls all day. They didn't have any classes, they just roamed the halls and somehow got better grades than me. Now, the same syndromers that went to my high school now go to my University, and all I see them doin is roaming the campus, and you can bet they're on the Dean's List. That is why i don't like down syndromers. Every time i see one, I just shake my head. I can't even have kids now cause of the fear of having a down syndrome baby. I'd see the sonogram and be like "awwww, damn, what's that extra chromosome doin in there?"

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Originally posted by Ape Shit

I don't know about you guys, but in my high school all the down syndrome kids made the high honor roll and all they did was walk around the halls all day. They didn't have any classes, they just roamed the halls and somehow got better grades than me. Now, the same syndromers that went to my high school now go to my University, and all I see them doin is roaming the campus, and you can bet they're on the Dean's List. That is why i don't like down syndromers. Every time i see one, I just shake my head. I can't even have kids now cause of the fear of having a down syndrome baby. I'd see the sonogram and be like "awwww, damn, what's that extra chromosome doin in there?"

 

i'd scott peterson that bitch.

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once me and my friends were painting a sign at our school when a special ed kid named philip came up and told us that we were doing it wrong. then he looked down and noticed that we accidentally got some paint on his pants. he started freaking out. yelling about how his mom was going to kill him. we knew that she wouldn't care because it would come out in the wash, but since im an asshole, i came up with a solution for his problem... "hey phil, if we just paint the rest of your pants, your mom will never notice!" he thought this was a great idea. so we painted the guy neon green and sent him on his way, his pants cracking more with every step. I like to think we helped young phillip that day.... no i dont hahah. :cool:

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ex girl has 2 retarded kids at her school

 

one used to walk around and say "lets have sex!" in this deep ass voice, the other day she was caught fingering herself in class, or "fixing her underwear"

 

other one, pooped his pants cuz the football coach wouldnt let him leave the play, and a few weeks back, peed on a kid in the hallway, illl ask more, cuz i forgot them

 

 

once me and my friends were painting a sign at our school when a special ed kid named philip came up and told us that we were doing it wrong. then he looked down and noticed that we accidentally got some paint on his pants. he started freaking out. yelling about how his mom was going to kill him. we knew that she wouldn't care because it would come out in the wash, but since im an asshole, i came up with a solution for his problem... "hey phil, if we just paint the rest of your pants, your mom will never notice!" he thought this was a great idea. so we painted the guy neon green and sent him on his way, his pants cracking more with every step. I like to think we helped young phillip that day.... no i dont hahah.

 

 

and that is terrible

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Originally posted by lylesjuly

once me and my friends were painting a sign at our school when a special ed kid named philip came up and told us that we were doing it wrong. then he looked down and noticed that we accidentally got some paint on his pants. he started freaking out. yelling about how his mom was going to kill him. we knew that she wouldn't care because it would come out in the wash, but since im an asshole, i came up with a solution for his problem... "hey phil, if we just paint the rest of your pants, your mom will never notice!" he thought this was a great idea. so we painted the guy neon green and sent him on his way, his pants cracking more with every step. I like to think we helped young phillip that day.... no i dont hahah. :cool:

 

asshole.

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i am torn between my feelings for "retards" as they are so aptly named

 

 

i think they are hilarious, which is cool cuz we need laughter in our life, which might be the reason they exist amongst us

 

on the other hand, i think "man, thats terrible, he just did that and didnt even know it " or "damn, he just did exatly what he was told to, paint his pants green and he is gonna be so bitched at" you know,

 

 

that ,,,,,,,so i dont know what to think, cuz when i laugh, its funny, but i also feel bad, anybody know what i mean?

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empathy..

 

i know entirely what you mean. i pissed myself when reading the previous posts. the phrase "tardmaster" and "spazzed real hard" nearly made me soil myself in a most tardlike manner.

 

its so far from the mundane reality that we all adhere to that its funny, however its only by the grace of *something bigger than us* that we're not a drivelling incoherant being birdened with a disability.

 

laugh, but be thankful, and think how it feels...

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  • 4 months later...

I know a guy who's brother is retarded. Its a great strain on their family..

 

I don't know, I've found them funny in the past, I used to pretend to be retarded in public as a joke. On one hand it seems alot of them enjoy themselves anyway, then I remember for their families its no joking matter..

 

When I was younger there used to be his retard who would be at my bus stop on my way home everyday. He was the only retard I'de ever seen that was actually pissed off about being retarded and he was pretty fucking malicious. I saw him hassling a girl for her phone number once, he was getting hectic. Another time I bumped into him by accident in a bus cue, when I apoligized he cursed me out. Another time I saw him flipping out kicking his bag up and down the bus stop chanting "I'm sick of fucking life .. I'm sick of it .. I'm sick of it... I wish I was a power ranger .. I wish .. I wish ".

 

I never found that dude funny at all. I'm not sure if its because of the evil vibes he was giving off or just because he seemed so unhappy ....

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the boy and i were driving down mainstreet in town one day and there was a man in a raggidy winnie the pooh costume and a retard holding a sign for some cell phone company and they were both standing there on the corner looking at each other and waving not at traffic but at each other...said retard looked mighty scared but waved anyway. It was one of those moments where my boy and i just looked at one another and said simultaneously "did that just happen?" so we turned around a drove back past and sure enough....

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You fucking disgust me. Everyone who laughs at people whom are mentally disabled. It shows a general lack of tact, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was correlated with generally lower intelligence, like racism is; in which case I guess I feel sorry for the lot of you.

 

How can you laugh at someone who has no control over the way they are and always will be? Do you not realize that this is a human being? Some of you even go as far as to antagonize them? Do you not realize the effect their lives have on others in their family; the strain and difficulty it causes on marriages? Do you not realize that families with a mentally disabled child have a divorce rate twice of that of your average American family?

 

You're like rich people sneering at the poor whom are struggling to survive. Like caucasians thinking that you're better than an African American. Disgusting. :(

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Actualy, Native Americans considered retards as shamans... saying that, i have a funny story too. There was this one kid who would stand out side the bowling alley all day and sing BABY GOT BACK. Everyday i walked past him he would ask me for a cigarette. and i always replied "No thankyou" it kinda confused him and then he would run behind a car and puke. this happened everyday for a year.

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QUIT BITCHING FAGS.

 

I WANT RETARD STORIES.

 

last week this girl and i were driving through a REAL shady part of town (i'm not gonna tell you why) and there was this skinny black dude (seriously like 90 lbs. and retarded. not cracked out, simply retarded) standing on the corner with the front/inner legs of his pants SOAKED in piss, and his left hand was shoved into a jar full of peanut butter. so yeah, we're thinking "wtf is this?!?" and just start laughing before we can even figure out what this dude's deal is. so he sees us laughing and starts this awful, orangutan-like howl of a laugh and starts banging the peanut butter jar hand on the wall. but within a few seconds, the laughter changed into a more aggressive wailing. and it was creepy. the end. now that i'm in college i don't see many interesting retards.

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Originally posted by DR+DELUSION

QUIT BITCHING FAGS.

 

I WANT RETARD STORIES.

 

last week this girl and i were driving through a REAL shady part of town (i'm not gonna tell you why) and there was this skinny black dude (seriously like 90 lbs. and retarded. not cracked out, simply retarded) standing on the corner with the front/inner legs of his pants SOAKED in piss, and his left hand was shoved into a jar full of peanut butter. so yeah, we're thinking "wtf is this?!?" and just start laughing before we can even figure out what this dude's deal is. so he sees us laughing and starts this awful, orangutan-like howl of a laugh and starts banging the peanut butter jar hand on the wall. but within a few seconds, the laughter changed into a more aggressive wailing. and it was creepy. the end. now that i'm in college i don't see many interesting retards.

 

Here's a retard story for you:

 

I was on a web-forum once and this guy posted a stupid story about peanut butter and driving through the ghetto. It was so stupid that I just couldn't help but laugh at this poor guy. :)

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Originally posted by DR+DELUSION

QUIT BITCHING FAGS.

 

I WANT RETARD STORIES.

 

last week this girl and i were driving through a REAL shady part of town (i'm not gonna tell you why)

 

YOU WERE BUYING HEROIN FROM ME...REMEMBER? THE GUY FROM STONE TEMPLE PILOTS WAS WITH YOU.

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Has anyone heard of Aspurgers. its a form of autism where the patient has no ability what so ever to read human emotion.

 

They usually develop weird body fetishes. For example the 1 of the 2 kids ive met with aspurgers had an obsession with his armflab(the fat hanging off of your tricep.) He would literlly stop work and begin slapping/playing with his armflab every 15 minutes as if he had never seen it beofre. He catagorized peoples armflab i.e. jiggilies, flabbies, stretchies etc. Because of thier inability to read/comprehend emotion they tend to be amazingly offensive/annoying.

 

In addition to that they usually have incredible amounts of information on a certain subject (kind of like raiman with the phonebook.) the kid that i worked with that had it knew nearly every radio station on the east coast....weird shit...meh...

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Guest imported_El Mamerro
Originally posted by Fugazi

How can you laugh at someone who has no control over the way they are and always will be?

 

Excerpts from: How Laughter Works

 

Laughter on the Brain

 

The physiological study of laughter has its own name -- gelotology. And we know that certain parts of the brain are responsible for certain human functions. For example, emotional responses are the function of the brain's largest region, the frontal lobe. But researchers have learned that the production of laughter is involved with various regions of the brain. While the relationship between laughter and the brain is not fully understood, researchers are making some progress.

 

For example, Derks traced the pattern of brainwave activity in subjects responding to humorous material. Subjects were hooked up to an electroencephalograph (EEG) and their brain activity was measured when they laughed. In each case, the brain produced a regular electrical pattern. Within four-tenths of a second of exposure to something potentially funny, an electrical wave moved through the cerebral cortex, the largest part of the brain. If the wave took a negative charge, laughter resulted. If it maintained a positive charge, no response was given, researchers said.

 

During the experiment, researchers observed the following specific activities:

  • The left side of the cortex (the layer of cells that covers the entire surface of the forebrain) analyzed the words and structure of the joke.
  • The brain's large frontal lobe, which is involved in social emotional responses, became very active.
  • The right hemisphere of the cortex carried out the intellectual analysis required to "get" the joke.
  • Brainwave activity then spread to the sensory processing area of the occipital lobe (the area on the back of the head that contains the cells that process visual signals).
  • Stimulation of the motor sections evoked physical responses to the joke.

This is different from what happens with emotional responses. Emotional responses appear to be confined to specific areas of the brain, while laughter seems to be produced via a circuit that runs through many regions of the brain. (This means that damage to any of these regions can impair one's sense of humor and response to humor, experts say.)

 

 

The Limbic System

 

When we look more closely at the areas of the brain involved with laughter, the limbic system seems to be central. The limbic system is a network of structures located beneath the cerebral cortex. This system is important because it controls some behaviors that are essential to the life of all mammals (finding food, self-preservation).

 

Interestingly, the same structures found in the human limbic system can also be found in the brains of evolutionary ancient animals such as the alligator. In the alligator, the limbic system is heavily involved in smell and plays an important role in defending territory, hunting and eating prey. In humans, the limbic system is more involved in motivation and emotional behaviors.

 

http://static.howstuffworks.com/gif/laughter-limbic.gif'>

Structures in the brain's limbic system, which controls many essential human behaviors, also contribute to the production of laughter.

 

While the structures in this highly developed part of the brain interconnect, research has shown that the amygdala, a small almond-shaped structure deep inside the brain, and the hippocampus, a tiny, seahorse-shaped structure, seem to be the main areas involved with emotions. The amygdala connects with the hippocampus as well as the medial dorsal nucleus of the thalamus. These connections enable it to play an important role in the mediation and control of major activities like friendship, love and affection and on the expression of mood. The hypothalamus, particularly its median part, has been identified as a major contributor to the production of loud, uncontrollable laughter.

 

 

 

 

 

 

What makes us laugh?

 

Laughter is triggered when we find something humorous. There are three traditional theories about what we find humorous:

 

  • The incongruity theory suggests that humor arises when logic and familiarity are replaced by things that don't normally go together. Researcher Thomas Veatch says a joke becomes funny when we expect one outcome and another happens. When a joke begins, our minds and bodies are already anticipating what's going to happen and how it's going to end. That anticipation takes the form of logical thought intertwined with emotion and is influenced by our past experiences and our thought processes. When the joke goes in an unexpected direction, our thoughts and emotions suddenly have to switch gears. We now have new emotions, backing up a different line of thought. In other words, we experience two sets of incompatible thoughts and emotions simultaneously. We experience this incongruity between the different parts of the joke as humorous.
     
  • The superiority theory comes into play when we laugh at jokes that focus on someone else's mistakes, stupidity or misfortune. We feel superior to this person, experience a certain detachment from the situation and so are able to laugh at it.
     
  • The relief theory is the basis for a device movie-makers have used effectively for a long time. In action films or thrillers where tension is high, the director uses comic relief at just the right times. He builds up the tension or suspense as much as possible and then breaks it down slightly with a side comment, enabling the viewer to relieve himself of pent-up emotion, just so the movie can build it up again! Similarly, an actual story or situation creates tension within us. As we try to cope with two sets of emotions and thoughts, we need a release and laughter is the way of cleansing our system of the built-up tension and incongruity. (According to Dr. Lisa Rosenberg, humor, especially dark humor, can help workers cope with stressful situations. "The act of producing humor, of making a joke, gives us a mental break and increases our objectivity in the face of overwhelming stress," she said.)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why don't we all laugh at the same things?

 

 

Experts say that several obvious differences in people affect what they find humorous. The most significant seems to be age.

 

Infants and children are constantly discovering the world around them. A lot of what goes on seems ridiculous and surprising, which strikes them as funny. What's funny to a toddler consists of short and simple concepts, like an elephant joke. Along with the ridiculous and the surprising, children -- much to their parents' dismay -- also appreciate jokes where cruelty is present (it boosts their self-assertiveness) and what we refer to as "toilet humor." To children, a preoccupation with bodily functions is simply another way of exploring their fascinating new environment.

 

The pre-teen and teenage years are, almost universally, awkward and tense. Lots of adolescents and teens laugh at jokes that focus on sex, food, authority figures and -- in typical rebellious style -- any subject that adults consider off-limits. It is an insecure time of life and young people often use humor as a tool to protect themselves or to feel superior.

 

As we mature, both our physical bodies and mental outlooks grow and change. Since there is a certain amount of intelligence involved in "getting" a joke, our senses of humor becomes more developed as we learn more. By the time we're grown, we have experienced much of life, including tragedy and success. In keeping with these experiences, our senses of humor are more mature. We laugh at other people and ourselves in shared common predicaments and embarrassments. The adult sense of humor is usually characterized as more subtle, more tolerant and less judgmental about the differences in people. The things we find funny as a result of our age or developmental stage seem to be related to the stressors we experience during this time. Basically, we laugh at the issues that stress us out.

 

Another factor that affects what we find funny is the culture or community from which we come. Have you ever laughed at a joke and realized that if you were from anywhere else in the world, it just wouldn't be funny? It's a fact of life that culture and community provide lots of fodder for jokes. There are economic, political and social issues that are easy to laugh about, but only the people living in that culture may understand it. For example, a joke from a small country might not have universal appeal because it would be so little understood. The big, influential, much-observed United States might be the exception to this rule. Thanks to media and movies, most people around the world know what is going on here. So jokes about a situation in the United States can be enjoyed pretty much across the globe.

 

When people say "That's not funny," theorist Veatch says they mean either "It is offensive" or "So, what's the point?" For someone to find a joke or situation offensive, he must have some attachment to the principle or person being demeaned or put down in the joke. So racist and sexist jokes are offensive to many people who feel strongly about fighting bigotry and prejudice in the world. According to Veatch, when someone says, "So, what's the point?," it indicates the absence of any moral or emotional attachment or commitment to the joke's "victim."

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Originally posted by BUCK FUSH

Has anyone heard of Aspurgers. its a form of downs syndrome where the patient has no ability what so ever to read human emotion.

 

They usually develop weird body fetishes. For example the 1 of the 2 kids ive met with aspurgers had an obsession with his armflab(the fat hanging off of your tricep.) He would literlly stop work and begin slapping/playing with his armflab every 15 minutes as if he had never seen it beofre. He had no problem with categorizing armflab. Because of thier inability to read/comprehend emotion they tend to be amazingly offensive/annoying.

 

In addition to that they usually have incredible amounts of information on a certain subject (kind of like raiman with the phonebook.) the kid that i worked with that had it knew nearly every radio station on the east coast....weird shit...meh...

 

1. It's a form of Autism.

2. Obsession with repetitive motions is known as "stimming".

3. Not being able to read human emotion is not a definitive condition, but is common.

4. Specific abilities in "strange" areas are known as "splinter skills" or "savant syndrome".

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Originally posted by El Mamerro

Excerpts from: How Laughter Works

 

When people say "That's not funny," theorist Veatch says they mean either "It is offensive" or "So, what's the point?" For someone to find a joke or situation offensive, he must have some attachment to the principle or person being demeaned or put down in the joke. So racist and sexist jokes are offensive to many people who feel strongly about fighting bigotry and prejudice in the world. According to Veatch, when someone says, "So, what's the point?," it indicates the absence of any moral or emotional attachment or commitment to the joke's "victim."

 

I understand how laughter works, the benefits of it, etc. This is what I was pointing at, the fact that people have an absence of moral or emotional attachment to the victim (i.e. the developmentally disabled). Thanks though. Beer,

 

PoutyDuck

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Originally posted by PoutyDuck

1. It's a form of Autism.

2. Obsession with repetitive motions is known as "stimming".

3. Not being able to read human emotion is not a definitive condition, but is common.

4. Specific abilities in "strange" areas are known as "splinter skills" or "savant syndrome".

 

thanks for the fact check teacher.

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