people committing suicide.

[BoB Hope ONER]

i just heard that a good friend of mines ex just killed himself. it really hit me. ive never even met the guy. Ive been going through alot lately.. and for some reason.. instead of feeling pain and sadness... ive been feeling like ive just been arrested.. or that nautious nervousness when you know they are coming to get you..

 

is this the cliche broken heart? i felt like this until i heard about this guy dying.. i guess im just trying to put things into context.

 

I dont really know what to say to my friend.. or what to do for her. she means the world to me.

 

if anyone has any suggestion or stories that they think are relative and want to share id appreciate it.

[Step8]

a friend that i had in Junior High, hung himself like three years ago. He had a hot girl in grade 8... i was jelous. i'm indifferent to his decision to die.. i hadnt seen him since junior high graduation, so i didnt really care. He was kinda messed though, and didnt have a good family life, and he showed up drunk to that graduation.

 

[This message has been edited by Step8 (edited 04-10-2001).]

[seeking]

god bro,... id love to help you... unfortunitly all my stories, parables and axioms deal with the idea of no-self, samsara, emptyness and the like... not the sort of shit that people care to hear in times like this... i wish you the best, death is rough for everyone involved, no matter how fringe...

[ORACLEone]

i hear you trust me ive tried to kill myself multiple times but each time i tried or was about to someone interfered and without even knowing it saved my life. although death still sounds like a treasure that we all work for, the golden eternal scilence is the ultimate reward, i dont feel its my place to judge when and how im bestowed with the expellation of this shit hole. im not going to preach to you and tell you you shouldnt do it because truthfully no one really matters. straight up. our pathetic lives will be replaced in 27 seconds so what does one matter(every 27 seconds a baby is born).

 

i used to be a fat tub of fuckin lard, and you skinny people have no idea how severe fat kid rage can be...i used to think about slaughtering my classmates on a regular basis, before all the school shootings. any way i worked my fat ass off by running every day and working out and now i still have a little tummy but its no giant glob of goo anymore. I did that shit I worked my ass off for this body, so i figure ive put way too much work into it to not see where a nice body gets me. AND YES YOU FUCKING PEOPLE JUDGE EVERYONE ON APPEARANCE!

 

i guess what im trying to say is, if youre going to do it...do it. dont talk about it, just do it. if youre not good for you, youll be an incredably strong person for it, trust me. in life you have to go through the bowells of hell to be used as fertalizer, and eventually youll grow into roses...hopefully.

 

what doesnt kill you makes you stronger, that goes for yourself as well.

 

[This message has been edited by ORACLEone (edited 04-10-2001).]

[seeking]

you obviously didnt even read what dude wrote. and there is no such thing as "bestowed with the expellation" werent fat kids supposed to be smart? why the malopropisms then?

[Guest Are2]

suicide is rough..people need to be convinced that there was nothing they could have done to change things for that person..

 

it wasn't her fault, or anyone elses

 

he is in a better place,

and hopefully has found what he was looking for..

 

my sincerest condolences...

[brown twinkie]

Originally posted by seeking innocence:

why the malopropisms then?

 

check your spelling big shot http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//tongue.gif'>

[T.W.F UNABOMBER]

i had to read a short story for school where this kid shot his brother with a shotgun when they when hunting on accident. he didnt cry or nothing he had no emotion cause there was nothing he could do, his brother is gone.

 

ive lost a couple close and not so close to me. im about to lose someone that is very close to me. its hard especially when you never get to say goodbye. im a weak person when it comes to depression so the only way i can heal it is by stayin intoxicated.

 

when im drunk i sit there with whatever im drinking by myself,spill a little , and think about those times we had and shit, its one of the only times i could laugh and think about the person.

[the idiot]

Originally posted by BoB Hope ONER:

if anyone has any suggestion or stories that they think are relative and want to share id appreciate it.

 

 

here is what you do.

 

make one phonecall, and say "i am available if you need anything whatsoever"

then, sit back and do nothing but be available. thats eally all you can do.

 

often, people feel the need to rally around a person in emotional distress, in order to make them "feel better". as many of us have found, it NEVER works. especially when dealing with death. it only adds to the burden.

death, and sudden death, bring up a spectrum of feelings that a person has never felt before. a person can not share these feelings though, because he/she doesnt even know what these feelings ARE.

so, the best bet is to make your concern and availability known. the rest MUST be up to the person. he/she will talk when they are ready. and will be appreciative of your concern and friendship.

trust me.

[Guest fr8lover]

on friday a guy at the college in town jumped out of his 8th story dorm room and died during surgery to repair the injuries he sustained. a bunch of kids and police circled around and were yelling for him not to, but after about 20 minutes he jumped.

 

it was only about 7 in the evening and i drove by and saw the pandemonium and the aftermath of his jumping, most of the onlookers were college kids just trying to see what was going on. what a wake up call, walking to your dorm after class only to see a human being die right in front of your eyes.

 

its a big cliche, but it 'kinda puts things into perspective...'

[ORACLEone]

Originally posted by seeking innocence:

you obviously didnt even read what dude wrote. and there is no such thing as "bestowed with the expellation" werent fat kids supposed to be smart? why the malopropisms then?

 

if you would have understood what i said, "bestowed with the expellation of this shit hole" ment leaving (or being expelled from)this earth i.e. death...i made the saying up...thats what people do when they communicate...they create.i said bestowed because as i said, i believe that natural or destined death is a reward. i never said fat kids were supposed to be smart, interesting inference though thanks for the compliment. and no i dont know what malopropisms are so i should bow to your feet. enlighten me with both the definition and the correct spelling.

 

and yes i did look it up....wasnt in my dictionarys (since its plural is it -ies?)

 

and i did read every word the "dude" wrote, hes in a slump it happens, everyone thinks about death at one point or another in their lives, its human nature.

 

[This message has been edited by ORACLEone (edited 04-10-2001).]

 

[This message has been edited by ORACLEone (edited 04-10-2001).]

[deamism]

suicide is about the only thing i've got left. thats how i've felt for the past two years of my life.. and i'm at boiling point. every day, i feel as if it would be better off spent in a dark room cutting my skin. pain is a feeling.. and one of the only ones i've got left. i'm leaving soon. veeeeery soon.

 

don't feel bad because someone decided to take their life. it is completely their decision, or they wouldn't do it. i'm doing this for myself, not to prove a point.

 

------------------

I AM SO SMART! S-M-R-T!

[seeking]

'expulsion' not 'expellation' am i nit-picking about stupid shit? sure. i just cant stand when people use a bunch of big words incorrectly to apear deep and intelligent. making up words also falls into that catagory. spelling errors are another issue. but whatever, this has nothing to do with anything. were sorry you got picked on. thanks for tugging my heart strings.

 

he was asking for advice on how to deal with his friend who's close friend just killed himself. not him claiming he felt suicidal, nor how to talk someone out of it. advice after the fact, not a pep talk in favor of it. but thanks for your input.

[kid furie]

-note: this post has nothing to do with this topic-

 

this is a perfect example of why we shouln't have those retarded fucking smiley faces as our automatic message icon! the topic is about suicide and that grinning piece of shit icon pops up hell of! whud da fiz-nuk! im 'bout ta knock some fronts in!

 

------------------

(Are those Bugle Boy jeans you're wearin?)

Hell nah hoe, you know they Polo's

[taco bell bomber]

i seriously thought of killing myself after my girl broke up with me..but then i realized some things:

1. she couldnt have been that great if she was a bitch enough to break up with me after a year

2. for those of you that belive in god, if you were suppose to be dead od would take care of it, not you.

3. i love graffiti and my parents to much to leave them

those are my thoughts.

and for you bob-perhabs bring her some flowers a copy og ghostbusters 2..and tell her to try and feel better..and like idiot said make yourself available if she needs you

peace

[BoB Hope ONER]

thanks for the relative replies..

 

ive been in a weird space.. but in not suicidal. ive come very close to death... a few times now.. and for some unknown reason i keep ending up alive afterwards.. so there must be some reason for me to stay.. it is selfish.. youre right.

 

im just in a state of reflection right now.

we all go through it. im just having a hard time looking at my reflection.

 

peace and love to all.

--bobby

[boxcarwilly]

hey bobby,

you got my sympathy. and i am usually not the type that is all yeah that sucks because in someways i do agree with seeking about what happens afterwards. samsara, jiva soul vs body etc but loss hurt no matter ow much disassociation you try to throw into the wheels.

my ex is dying. i talk to her alot, she is dying hardcore not like oh in five years ten years, it is any day she shouldnt even be alive, and yes she is that way because it was self induced but i cannot throw that around i can only try to save the last couple conversations we will have as what to remember her by. face to face we talk we smile but any memory of her i cry my eyes out because just the thought of her gone is hurt.

i dont know ask elvis for my number if you need anything.

j.

 

ps vocab lesson... malapropism: misuse or misplacement of word or phrase... study semantics we could all learn alot about how and why we make things upto think somewhat like an individual

[Guest SPLINTER]

ok since were already into it. i have a reasearch paper to do. i need to know what the most common reasons for teen suicide are. you guys know some people who have done it. if its not to bad ( i dont need details) you can help me if you tell me how it affected their families in the future.

[garth vader]

the place i'm from has the highest suicide rate in north america. many of my relatives have done it. one year we had like 350 suicides, and the population was like 8000. every time i go there, there's at least 2 suicides that i hear about. i think that if i didn't get close to my cousin kenton he'd be dead. he was gonna do it, then i started calling him and shit, and he got better. and right before newyears these kids died in a car crash, and kenton knew them, he took it hard, and ihadto choose between going to the city to drink with another cousin or stay with kenton, so he wouldn't kill himself. i stayed with him.

 

another time my best friend tyler was really depressed, and we were only 13, and tyler was gonna jump off this bridge, and he climbed over the edge and ihadto yell at him to get back over. a couple years later he told me he was about to jump. man i dunno what i would have done if he jumped. i love that guy.

[Harry Houdini]

I know I don't fully get why someone would just give up on it all. But I do know why I don't. I'm not done yet, theres so much more I can do and theres only one way to prove it.

 

 

Mr. Hope;

I've had friends kill themselves and I really don't know what to tell you to cope with it, but as it's your ex- who lost someone, just make sure she knows its not her fault and that you are there if she needs anything.

 

My girlfriends brother killed himself a few years before I met her. She had ignored him when he wanted to go for a walk, he ended up going by himself, down the street to the tracks. She knew something was wrong when she heard the train's horn going off, again and again, then the brakes. She heard it hit him. It just couldn't stop in time.

The asshole she was going out with then just handed her an 8 ball of coke. She did almost the whole thing by herself. A fucking 8 ball!

 

I am convinced that if someone else had told her that they loved her, wanted to be there for her, or cared what happened her, And most importantly, that it wasn't her fault she never would have gone through a very long, very painful, very self-destructive period in her life.

 

What I'm trying to say is MAKE SURE your friend KNOWS she has plenty of love and support behind her. She'll need to heal herself, but you can be there if she needs any help. Someone to talk to, cry on, scream at, someone just be there because the person they lost can't be.

 

------

ps:

Fr8lover reminded me of something that happened when I was in High School. There was a kid, that I and my (now ex-)girlfriend barely knew, who hung himself. Now she was a real softy, and was visibly shaken after hearing about it. She went to a girl that was close to the kid and gave her condolences. Then this bitch screamed at her, claiming she was just "bandwagoning" on this kids death. I wish somebody had fucking slapped her. People get so wrapped up being cool that they can't accept a genuine out-reach of compassion.

 

ORACLE:

What are fucking stupid son?????

YOU remind me of that bitch!

 

If I ever found out that there was someone telling one of the people I've lost that they should "do it. dont talk about it, just do it...no one really matters" while they contemplaited suicide, I'd beat the living shit out of them!

You need to stop talking about that I-wanna-be-romantic "golden eternal silence" bullshit, you hypocritical shithead!

 

Sometimes all it takes is one word, ONE FUCKING WORD! Good or bad, just to save a life or push someone over the edge.

You said it yourself; "someone SAVED my life".

Life is precious kid.

 

If you "don't feel its your place to judge"

http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//mad.gif'>SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!

[BoB Hope ONER]

bumpism

[ORACLEone]

Originally posted by seeking innocence:

'expulsion' not 'expellation' am i nit-picking about stupid shit? sure. i just cant stand when people use a bunch of big words incorrectly to apear deep and intelligent. making up words also falls into that catagory. spelling errors are another issue. but whatever, this has nothing to do with anything. were sorry you got picked on. thanks for tugging my heart strings.

B]

 

expellation sounds better...i prefer it thats why i said it "dude". i say what i say and yet again thanks for the infrence of my alledged(another spelling erur?) faux depth and intelligence, its a compliment when i hear that what i sayd sounded intelligunt. dr. seus made up some pretty cool words too, people do that sometimes...yea i misread it, whoopdy freakin doo. hows it coming with the malopropisms "dude"?

ps...kick me off if you want, it occureded to me that you might for someone not kissing your ass like most of the whiny geeks on this board, your in charge of a bunch of 1s and 0s...im proud of you, want a cracker?

 

by the way i may act 14 or maybe even 9 but trust me im just a little older than that... dont forget to make snap judgements in an attempt to insult me indirectly coolguy

 

i can always sign up under another name...

 

also the name of the thread was people commiting scuicide...i was trying to say that some people will do it, most wont...if they do they do move on. yes that sounds heartless but if they killed themselves they probably didnt want to be a part of this world, therefore their wishes were probably for everyone to move on and live their lives.

 

[This message has been edited by ORACLEone (edited 04-11-2001).]

 

[This message has been edited by ORACLEone (edited 04-11-2001).]

[ORACLEone]

Originally posted by Harry Houdini:

ORACLE IS THE MAN:

What are fucking stupid son?????

YOU remind me of that bitch!

 

If I ever found out that there was someone telling one of the people I've lost that they should "do it. dont talk about it, just do it...no one really matters" while they contemplaited suicide, I'd beat the living shit out of them!

You need to stop talking about that I-wanna-be-romantic "golden eternal silence" bullshit, you hypocritical shithead!

 

Sometimes all it takes is one word, ONE FUCKING WORD! Good or bad, just to save a life or push someone over the edge.

You said it yourself; "someone SAVED my life".

Life is precious kid.

 

If you "don't feel its your place to judge"

http://www.12ozprophet.com/ubb//mad.gif'>SHUT THE FUCK UP ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!!

 

OOOHH CRY ME A FUCKING RIVER! human life is not precious...not a single fucking one. if you would have read what i said the basic point was that no one on the net can stop a scuicide across the nation or world, i dont know about you but i cant control people with my mind, you may have teleknesis but i dont so use your superpowers if you can hero...

 

i believe resilliance(sp?) heeds rewards later in life and only the strong survive...now i may be wrong, granted...its my opinion go fuck yourself.

 

oooh i remind you of THAT bitch, are you sure i dont remind you of THAT bitch instead? because THAT bich is way bitchier than THAT bitch...CLARIFY YOURSELF MORON!

 

ps...you couldnt beat my ass trust me. and im not going to get in an e-squabble over it.

 

[This message has been edited by ORACLEone (edited 04-11-2001).]

[Harry Houdini]

Oraface,

You know what, I'll give you this much:

You are intitled to you opinion, whatever it may be.

 

But with something as sensitive suicide, one word, even over the internet, CAN make a difference.

That street goes two ways.

You, a person who has been suicidal, should realize this.

You said you were teased when you were younger, it almost pushed you off the edge.

 

Whoever it was that changed your mind might not even know they saved you. It may have been something more subtle than "life is precious", it may have been something as small as a cute chick smiling your way.

 

I don't know what they did to stop you from killing yourself, but you don't know what will be the last straw for someone else.

 

And for the record if I saw anyone encouraging sucide, especially to someone I knew, you bet I'd beat their ass.

Trust me.

[ORACLEone]

Originally posted by Harry Houdini:

Oraface,

You know what, I'll give you this much:

You are intitled to you opinion, whatever it may be.

 

But with something as sensitive suicide, one word, even over the internet, CAN make a difference.

That street goes two ways.

You, a person who has been suicidal, should realize this.

You said you were teased when you were younger, it almost pushed you off the edge.

 

Whoever it was that changed your mind might not even know they saved you. It may have been something more subtle than "life is precious", it may have been something as small as a cute chick smiling your way.

 

I don't know what they did to stop you from killing yourself, but you don't know what will be the last straw for someone else.

 

And for the record if I saw anyone encouraging sucide, especially to someone I knew, you bet I'd beat their ass.

Trust me.

 

 

ora-face?ive heard worse, not bad though, thanks for trying. again i need to say that i wasnt encouraging scuicide in any way i was merely stating the fact that scuicide is a choice. we cant control people no matter how loudly we soapbox our beliefs. this isnt to say that we cant try to diffuse a ticking timebomb though...but in the end scuicide is an individual choice.

 

ill be damned someone contributed a valad, and slightly unbiased opinion... thats pretty rare arround these parts, trust me.

 

 

[This message has been edited by ORACLEone (edited 04-12-2001).]

[Fondles]

Suicide is fucked up. i don't get it. try being stabbed by a latino cause you're white and wearing khaki pants. Try having a fucker put a gun to your head asking for your bag, all the while shifting his feet and groaning a whole bunch. being shot at by white kids cause you "dress black(?)". Anyhow, like most of you, i don't have it easy. No honey on my bread. But after you experience crazy shit, suicide just doesn't seem logical to me...but that's my mouth talkin

[Susan]

I respect choice. But I choose to live despite all the crap life has put me through so far. My experience with life, death and everything (possibly 2 or 3 times as long as yours) has led me to believe that life actually is worth living.

 

I've paid my dues, and I'm staying on the ride. Suicide is an option, but you can only use it once. Why make an irrevocable decision when you don't have to?

 

Nobody usually admits this, but the teenage years _are_ the absolute toughest and often the worst years of your life. The object is to get to the other side. Unmarried men have another crisis point (statistically) around age 28. Once you get safely past the dangerous times, you're usually good to go and in much better shape to cope.

 

There were plenty of days when I was so miserable I wanted to kill me and everyone who made my life hell, but I left that school instead. It was an ugly and difficult choice, but it was the right thing for me to do.

 

Over the years I learned that I can't change other people's behavior, but I can remove myself from just about any intolerable situation. Just go. There's a lot of world out there, and if your world is too small and too painful, move. It's worth a try, especially when you are at the end of your coping skills and you feel like there's nothing to lose.

 

You always have alternatives to suicide, but a suicidal person often feels like they have no choices. You always have choices. It's important to consider every single one of them. Most of us have lousy imaginations when we're depressed. For this reason alone it's important to talk to trusted other people to get ideas about the alternatives you missed in your thinking.

 

Depression is contageous. If your friend or family member is depressed, you need to take care of yourself too. Depression is almost always treatable and temporary, but when you feel that bad you don't want to feel good, so it's important to urge depressed people to seek treatment. Because it's not only contagious, it's often fatal.

 

You can't save someone else, you can only try. But you can save yourself, and that's worth doing also.

 

If reincarnation is real, you'll just have to do it again.

 

If death is absolute, you just wasted a chance for sex on the beach.

 

If St. Peter is waiting at the pearlies, you're hosed.

 

No one gets out alive anyway, so why rush.

[Susan]

And as to the actual topic of this thread... What your friend needs to know most is that it _isn't her fault_. Make sure you actually say those words. Surviving makes you feel guilty for living and guilty for imaginary things you might have done differently.

 

Grief over death is a process that starts in shock, travels through every flavor of pain, and ends in love. It can take several years to pass through your system, and more if you resist the process. It's important to value our time with each other and to focus on that most of all.

 

Know that your friend is not going to "get over it" and never say those words. Offer to feed her while she's depressed if there's no one else to make sure she's eating. Insist she call you any time day or night if she wants to talk or come over.

[BoB Hope ONER]

susan i appreciate the kind words.

 

in regars to my friend.. for the most part she seems to be doing ok. ive reassured her and let her know im there for her. since i am not her boyfriend i feel there certain intimacy boundaries i need to respect and its hard because i am in the akward roll of not being able to get too close.. to comfort her.

 

shes a strong girl and seems to be taking it in stride.. but still in denial of it for the most part. she has alot of people here that love her dearly and are supporting her.

 

so in terms of suicide.

 

in buddhism specifically tibetan buddhism.. those who kill themselves.. get sent to a special hell.. a torturous and evil hell.. a kind of evil pergatory place..

 

i dont think suicide is the answer.. i think its chicken shit. and irresponsible to those you love.. but at the same time.. when im depressed and scared i cant help but think its a nice easy way out..

 

but.. what can you do.. pain sucks.. but.. you live for the struggle.. its what makes the juice sweeter and the sky bluer.

 

 

*sigh*

-sadns

[Ski Mask]

a respectful bump, due to all the depression threads.